That experience of being overwhelmed with the amazing feelings of love healed my pain, brought forgiveness, and opened my awareness to the transformative presence of the spiritual heart. I have shared this first experience of the power of my spiritual heart because it made real for me – and I hope for you – the transformative potential of our spiritual hearts. Years later, I would realize that the experience was possible not only because of my asking, but also because my heart was opened by the access code that lets us connect directly with our spiritual hearts.
As I reflected on that experience, I realized that an event had happened just a moment before I felt that ecstatic love. I now understand that this event opened my heart, so that I could receive the powerful love that so deeply impacted me. In this event I experienced
what I have come to realize is the access code to the spiritual heart.
The event happened while I watched Lisa playing on the floor that day. It was just days after her first birthday. I felt warm feelings of love and care for my daughter. However, my emotional pain at that time was so great that the pain numbed much of my feeling of love.
The experience with my baby that evening became different. I had been playing with her on the floor. I got up and sat on the couch while she continued to play on the floor. I saw Lisa reach out for something – and suddenly I realized she wasn’t playing with something. She was playing with someone. It was someone I could not see. I saw her reach forward, as she had done so many times toward her mother – then pull back, just as she did when her mother had reached out to touch her. She started to laugh in that beautiful, carefree way of the delighted child who is safe and happy in the embrace of the mother who loved her and provided the safety, love and care that was her entire world. In amazement, I watched them play. By this time, I was sure it was Kathy she was
playing with. Her delight was so total, and her movements were ones that were so familiar to me, from many evenings of having watched that wonderful pair at play.
I remembered so often looking over from my desk where I was studying, my attention drawn by the giggles. It might be a toy being passed back and forth, or hugs and tickles, and responses with toes and noses. It was the magic of love in its simplest, deepest, most beautiful form – the exquisite love of a mother for her baby.
As I watched them this night, only able to see one part of this precious exchange, my heart opened. I was so deeply touched. I was so grateful for whatever it was that made it possible for this loving mother to reach from beyond our world into the child’s to touch and engage her. My heart filled with pure, beautiful feelings of tenderness, of care, and of love. My pain of loss could not limit these exquisite feelings. I was experiencing again one of the most beautiful moments of our small family’s world. Those moments had always filled my heart. Even though I could only see Lisa and her actions, I felt and treasured the love that
in that moment was being expressed to this precious child.
It was then, immersed in those feelings of love and gratefulness, that I experienced the overwhelming love for me that I have shared with you. That moment witnessing mother and baby playing together took me into the feelings that are the access code for the spiritual heart. Perhaps it was also knowing that my baby was in her mother’s good care that helped me to let go. In the moment that followed, I was filled with love.
It was a love that was so much greater than any feeling I have ever experienced – and yet it was thoroughly personal. It was cosmic and intimate. In that experience, love so filled me that nothing else existed. It did not feel like Kathy’s personal love, yet as I reflect back I can’t help but feel that a part of her presence with Lisa and with me that evening was the gift of her personal love. And it helped to open the door – that I might receive the full, amazing love that flows through my spiritual heart. This love was so great that it would forever change my life
.
Through that direct experience, I was shown in the only way that could ever have had true meaning for me the true power and presence of the love that is present in, as and through our spiritual hearts.