I was running late one morning. I’m noticing that this isn’t the first “I’m late” story. Perhaps that is something I need to pay attention to. Oh well, it’s true. I was late.
It was one of those mornings when things just seemed to run behind schedule for both Kathryn and me. We left for work at the same time and often rode together. However, today we were headed in different directions after work, so we were each driving. My car was in the lead as we hurried down the one-lane roads between our home on the redwood-covered mountainside and the main road, which was a two-lane highway. We drove quickly, but still carefully, through the twisty lane that weaved through the majestic redwood trees. My car was in front, so I was the first to reach the one-lane bridge that spanned the creek separating the area of homes from the road. I
entered the fairly long bridge, and was about halfway across, when I saw a Volkswagen “Bug” approach the end of the bridge, having come from the highway. The Volkswagen came to the bridge and stopped in front of it.
This surprised me, because there was a pullover area at that end of the bridge so that cars could wait, giving plenty of clearance for the vehicles already on the bridge to exit. Instead of entering the pullover area, the Volkswagen drove right to the end of the bridge and stopped. I was almost across the bridge, so I slowed and stopped because the Volkswagen was blocking my exit. It was directly in my way.
I stopped and waited for it to back up and pull into the pull-over area. It didn’t. I waited some more, sure that the person had not been paying attention, and assumed that upon seeing that we had crossed the bridge, they would pull over so we could exit. They didn’t.
I looked at my watch, noting that I was late, and yet determined to be patient with this driver. After all, it was sure to dawn on him or her that it was necessary for the car to get out of the way for us. Only
then could the Volkswagen enter the bridge, and proceed across. It didn’t.
My intention of patience was growing thin. This was an obvious situation. The car on the bridge had the right of way. I had been an attorney at another point in my life; however, I realized that this was not a difficult legal question. It was just common sense. We could not exit the bridge until the car moved out of the way. It didn’t.
Now my patience had given way to irritation and frustration. I needed to get to work. I couldn’t get off the bridge until the car got out of the way. I needed to go forward, but the Volkswagen was completely blocking the way. It was not possible to get around it. I waited again. Surely the driver would pull over. It just made sense. The driver could see that he or she couldn’t get on the bridge until our two cars were off the bridge. Our cars sat there waiting for the Volkswagen to move. It didn’t.
Now I realized I was going to have to get out of my car, go up to the Volkswagen, and ask the driver to do what was obvious – to pull over so that we could exit the bridge. I couldn’t imagine the driver not
knowing that, but if he or she didn’t respond, I would have to ask them to pull over. I finally reached for the door handle to get out of the car.
Then I remembered my spiritual heart. It only took ninety seconds to activate my heart. That was time I seemed to have, since I was just sitting there. I decided to activate my spiritual heart. I touched my heart, and took the deep breaths though my heart, as I focused on that area of my body. Then I went to a memory. As I recalled the memory, I enjoyed the feeling. The memory was of how much I loved the feeling of walking through the redwood trees. There were redwood trees on either side of the creek, so the memory was easy to get to.
I had hiked through the redwoods the other day, and I remembered how my heart felt so full as I watched the sunlight dance through the redwood branches. It was a wonderful feeling. I enjoyed the feeling and relaxed into it, letting it completely fill me.
Then I asked. I sincerely asked, “What is a more effective response to this situation?” I didn’t really expect an answer. I knew what I had to do. I had to get the car that was blocking the exit to get out of the
way. But I asked anyhow, out of habit. My asking was very sincere. I really wanted to know, and I hoped that there was an easier way than getting out and confronting the driver. I knew there wasn’t, but I asked anyway, and I asked sincerely.
Suddenly, a clear, directive thought filled my mind. It said, “Back up.” That surprised me. Why would I back up? I had a car behind me. I had come all the way across the bridge. I had the right of way. Why would I back up? I asked again, “What is a more efficient response to this situation?” The response this time was the same. “Back up.”
I almost laughed this time. My whole view of the situation changed in that moment. I realized that the car behind me was Kathryn, and if I motioned for her to back up, she would. In a moment, we could both be clear of the bridge, and the other car could cross. It would take less time for me to do this than to get out and walk over to the Volkswagen. Plus, I would not have to argue with someone who, it seemed, had some kind of problem.
So I did it. I turned around and motioned for Kathryn to back up. She put her car in reverse, and in
a moment had she backed off the bridge and pulled into the turn-out area on the other end of the bridge. A moment later, I did the same thing.
The old Volkswagen drove forward across the bridge and continued on up the road. I pulled onto the bridge, drove across it, and pulled onto the main road, continuing on to work. The effort to clear the bridge and let the Volkswagen go across took about two minutes. That was much less time than if I had gotten out of my car and started a conversation to try to get the other driver to do what he or she was obligated to do.
Time-wise, this was much more effective. I was off to work, which was what was important to me. I didn’t need to straighten out the other driver’s mind, problem or whatever. I just needed to get to work soon.
The surprising thing about that experience was that I felt fine about clearing the bridge for the car. I wasn’t angry or upset. A moment before I activated my spiritual heart, I had a fleeting thought of just driving forward and pushing the smaller Volkswagen out of the way – even though it might have damaged my car. My frustration had been growing in intensity,
and moving toward anger, at the unreasonable obstruction blocking my path.
My mind was focused on my being “right.” It was focused on going forward. It was focused on getting the other car out of the way.
I had earlier experienced a brief thought of backing up – but I immediately dismissed it. There was a car behind me blocking my way, and “I was in the right!”
My heart changed all of that. It transformed my feelings from anger and frustration to calm efficiency. I was glad to do what took the least time. I was glad to avoid a potentially unpleasant conversation. I was glad to just get going. I did not have any investment in being right, or “winning.” I was calm, and grateful for the quick and easy solution.
This is such a simple situation. For me, it served as a moment of recognition of how different my spiritual heart’s wisdom is from my head’s. It was a moment when I experienced my justifiable negative feelings being transformed – so I was not feeling negative, but instead, peaceful
.
I felt better because of my spiritual heart. I thought more clearly because of my spiritual heart. I responded to my true goal and values because of my spiritual heart. And I continued to enjoy my drive through the beautiful redwoods that lined the highway on my way to work because of my spiritual heart. It was the start of a beautiful day.