Can success and spiritual development go together?
For most of us, we tend to see our career and spiritual development as separate things: success over here, spiritual development over there. But let’s look for a moment at what success really means—what sort of success do we want, and why do we want it?
If you ask, ‘What’s your definition of success?’ so many people will tell you, ‘To be the CEO of this company.’ Take it further and say, ‘OK, if you’re the CEO, then what?’ Then they’ll say, ‘Well, then I would have financial abundance, and therefore financial freedom.’ Now you say, ‘OK, then what?’ and they’ll say, ‘Then I wouldn’t have to worry and stress so much about making money.’ OK, what after that? ‘Then I would have time for my family, I’d have time for my spiritual pursuits, then I would be happy.’
Even people whose definition of success is very material and financial are aware that they ultimately want success to give them time for their spiritual practice, time to be with their family, to take a walk in the park, to watch the sunset. These are the things that will make them truly happy. If we recognize that our core desire is happiness and peace, we can actually strive towards those goals right away. It cuts decades of stress out of our lives.
There’s a great parable about the investment banker who goes on vacation to a beautiful seaside village. One day, he’s sitting under a tree near the ocean and he sees a fishing boat come in, dock, and the fisherman gets off the boat. This investment banker says to the fisherman, ‘So, what do you do?’
The man says, ‘I’m a fisherman.’
The banker says, ‘Oh, but you’ve only got two or three fish.’
‘Yes, that’s enough, that’s all my family needs.’
‘But there’re so many hours left in the day, it’s still early. You could’ve stayed out, you could’ve kept catching more and more fish.’
The fisherman asks him, ‘Well, why would I have done that, since this is all my family needs?’
The businessman replies, ‘You could sell the extra fish, get a bigger boat and make more money. Then you won’t even have to go out. You could start a company of fishermen, hire people who will go out for you.’
‘And then?’ the fisherman asks. ‘Now, I sleep until late in the morning. The reason I only go out for a few hours is because I sleep longer, take a beautiful walk and spend time with my family. I spend time with my friends and go to our local church.’
The banker exclaims, ‘No, no, see, you’ve got to spend time in the ocean and catch the fish. Then you can start a company, hire other people and they’ll keep fishing and bringing in the money. Then, of course, you’ll have to move to the city, but you’ll be the one in charge of the biggest fishing company that the country has ever seen.’
‘And then what?’
‘Well, that’s the great part. You’ll have so much money that in just a couple of years, you’ll be able to retire, move to the beach, sleep in on mornings, spend time with your family, take a walk, only be out in your boat as much as you like and enjoy your life!’
We laugh when we hear this story because we see the ridiculousness of it, and yet, that is the very trajectory most of our lives take, as though first we have to go all the way over there in order to get to be over here, instead of actually just turning around and walking in the direction we really want to go. That’s why when we talk about success and spiritual goals, we realize that they’re actually the same. The ultimate goal of both is true joy, peace and freedom.
The straightest path to success is to ask yourself: What matters to me? There isn’t a cookie-cutter answer, but for most people, what we’re looking for—through the money, careers, high levels of achievement, fancy houses, name and fame—is happiness in life. What we’re looking for is to have time to take a walk and watch the sunset, to have time to spend with our families, to meditate, or go to our place of worship. That’s success, and it goes hand-in-hand with our spiritual goals.
There’s a beautiful teaching by the very revered saint Pujya Swami Dayanand Saraswatiji Maharaj. He said that the only definition of success that matters is how we respond to the inevitable times when the universe does not act the way we think it should. That’s our spiritual goal, our spiritual practice. The only way for us to respond with peace, calm, love and understanding when the universe and the people in it don’t act the way we think they should is when we are deeply connected inside, when we are not looking to that universe or those people for our happiness.
If my happiness depends on whether you give me a raise, vote for me, or buy my product, then every time the stock market goes up and down, every time my company’s ratings fluctuate, every time my bank balance or my relationships change, I’m going to lose my sense of connection. I’m going to respond in an out-of-control way.
Real success is that connection, that grounding, which only comes from our spiritual path. Success and spiritual development go hand-in-hand. Spiritual awakening is actually the highest level of success. We can’t eat money, we can’t sit across the dining room table from it and have a nice romantic dinner, we can’t come home to it and cry to it about the trials and tribulations of our day, we can’t put our arm around it in bed, we can’t use it to wipe our tears, or get a hug when we’re feeling down, and it doesn’t laugh at our jokes. So, all the real joy and real connection that we’re looking for in life doesn’t come from money. It’s only that we believe that through money, through a very circuitous route, we will find joy and connection. We think, if I have money, people will respect me. If they respect me, they will love me, they’ll pay attention to me. If they love me and pay attention to me, I’ll feel worthy, I’ll feel like I matter. All that we do under the guise of achieving success, whatever success means to us, is done with this goal in mind.
So why not go straight there? There is nothing wrong, of course, with being the president or the CEO, or having money and big houses, as long as we’re not looking to these things to give us that inner experience of peace, joy and happiness.
There is a wonderful story of a woman who is on her hands and knees on the road at night, searching for something under a bright street light. A wise man walks up to her and asks her, ‘Mother, what are you looking for?’
She says, ‘I’ve lost my key.’
The man feels bad for her, so he also gets down on his hands and knees to search. After some time, he asks her, ‘Mother, where exactly did you lose your key?’
‘Oh, I lost it in the house.’
Baffled, he says, ‘Then why in the world are you looking for it on the road?’
‘It is dark in my house,’ she answers matter-of-factly. ‘I have no light to see. Here there is this bright street light. So I figured I would look where there is light rather than in the dark where I cannot see.’
‘Go back to your house, Mother,’ he tells her gently. ‘Even an army cannot find your key here. It may take some time, but you will find it in the house.’
I love this story because this is how we live. We search outside for that which we’ve lost inside. For that lady, maybe it was a key to a cupboard and for us, it’s the key to happiness and peace in our life. We also look outside, where it’s light, rather than inside where the key actually is. It is very bright in shopping centres, in stores, in the world around us, and of course, all the marketing gimmicks shout at us, ‘Buy this and you’ll be happy.’ But no matter how hard we look, no matter how much we buy or achieve or attain financially or professionally, we will never find that key because it just doesn’t exist there.
Now, it’s important to mention, of course, that happiness, peace and professional success or wealth are not mutually exclusive. It’s not that having expensive things or a successful job or a big house steals our peace and happiness. The problem arises only when I am looking in those things for my peace and happiness. If the woman had said, ‘Oh, I’m just taking a walk and enjoying the moonlight’, there wouldn’t even be a story. She would have been enjoying the outdoors for what they can offer—fresh air, moonlight, a nice walk. This story is significant only because she was searching for what was not there. Similarly, we face a problem when we think that by achieving something or buying something, we will get happiness. It just isn’t there. We can buy comfort, convenience, luxury and entertainment, but we cannot buy happiness.
I did a personal study on this once. I asked about ten different people I knew, each of whom was at a personal level of considerable success in a different field. There was a CEO of a major billion-dollar company, a tenured professor at Stanford, a well-known Hollywood actress, a singer with songs in the Top 10 charts, a sportsperson who played professional basketball. Some of them I spoke to on the phone and some others I met. In the midst of our conversation, I discreetly asked them all one question: ‘Are you happy?’ That was the real point of my study.
The answers I got fell in two categories. About half of them said, ‘I will be happy when _______’, and they filled in the blank with different accomplishments, ranging from ‘the kids finally going off to college’ to ‘I finally get this raise, this promotion’ to ‘I finally lose weight’. The other half replied, ‘I would be happy if _______’, and they filled in the blank with varied wishes, including ‘the kids would only clean up their room’, ‘my husband would work less’, ‘there wasn’t so much traffic’. Every single one of them had reached the absolute pinnacle of what the rest of the world was killing themselves to get to, yet they were all still one thing away from happiness.
This is what happens to us. When we go down this external route to reach the goal of happiness, there’s always something between us and the goal. Then, of course, when we do get that missing piece, we just discover a new, different missing piece. I have to get this degree, I have to get that job, this promotion, then I have to reach here, this much acclaim, this much renown, I have to reach that level . . . and then I’ll be happy. But when we keep going at it that way, there’s always just that one more thing between us and real happiness, which is the real success.
See whether you can shift your definition of success in your own mind to: What’s the shortest route to actually get where I want to go?
There’s a very big difference between the happiness I’m talking about and the decadence or hedonism or numbness of ‘eat, drink and be merry’. The shortest distance to happiness for some people may be a couple of shots of alcohol or a big meal. But that’s not what we’re talking about, because it doesn’t last very long. You have to keep doing it. Happiness is that which actually takes you out of yourself, not into yourself. If it were just six hours spent when you didn’t have to think about what your life has become, or your pain, that’s not happiness. That’s escapism, denial and numbness. Do it too frequently, and it becomes addiction.
When we talk about happiness, what we really mean is the state in which we are actually able to experience joy. We don’t need a funny movie, a drink, approval or promotions. It’s simply being able to experience joy and gratitude in the moment. The happiness our spiritual path brings is a sustained level of happiness, the kind of happiness that doesn’t fluctuate based on traffic or weather or stock market patterns. It doesn’t mean that we’re indifferent to the world, but our core level of inner peace is consistent.
The shortest route to that is spiritual practice. When that becomes our focus, we truly attain success.