16

When Sadhbh suggested me and Maj come up to Dublin for a pre-Christmas girly night to see the new house and drink wine I couldn’t say yes fast enough. She’s hardly ever in Ireland these days, and as much as it’s been nice spending every spare minute with James, I’m looking forward to a couple of days’ break from the holdy-in knickers and the being nice to each other all the time. And, to tell the truth, I need a break from worrying in the wee small hours.

I grab a Going Out Top as I’m leaving the house, just in case, and then drive over to BallyGoBrunch to make sure Carol is all set for the rest of the weekend. I feel bad leaving her but I helped her with loads of prep this morning and she assures me she’s got it all under control. I don’t know how she does it. I don’t do half as much as her and I feel like I’m drowning half the time. But she’s said that she’s worked hard all her life and she thrives on it. I suppose after the end of her marriage to bully boy Marty Boland she’s thrilled to strive for something without him taking all the credit. Either way, she sends me off with a flick of a tea-towel, so I get back into the car and ring Majella’s phone and hang up – our long-time money-saving code for ‘get your arse outside’. Before we had mobile phones, we used to do it on the house phones as teenagers to signal that that had just been a particularly riveting episode of Home and Away. It used to drive Daddy spare, although the evening the Summer Bay stalker was revealed and the phone gave two rings to indicate that it had been a stunning episode, he sighed before declaring Maj was ‘dead right’.

I’ve only given her one ring this time but she’s down the stairs and reefing the passenger door off the Micra thirty seconds later.

‘Jesus, what took you, Ais?’

‘It’s just gone half four. I’ve dragged you out of bed at this hour on a Saturday afternoon before.’

‘I wasn’t out last night. We stayed in to finish the guest list.’

‘What’s the final headcount so?’ I enquire, pulling carefully out on to the Knock Road.

‘Two hundred and twenty, including kids.’

‘I thought you weren’t having kids?’

‘Pablo’s mam was on to him. Said if little Juanita and Pancho and Guillermo couldn’t go, the granny would kick off. I’m raging but my hands were tied. Pab really loves that granny.’

‘Jesus.’

‘I know,’ she goes, leaning back against the headrest. ‘Would you mind if we stop in to the Ard Rí on the way? I need to tell Lisa and I’d like to see her write it down, if I’m honest. It’ll only take a minute.’

‘No problem,’ I say, mentally recalculating our arrival time at the roadworks on the N7. We’ll still miss the worst of it, I’d say – if I step on it.

Ten minutes later, Lisa Gleeson is ushering us into her little office in the Ard Rí. ‘Come in, come in, sit down,’ she says, diving for her computer. I could barely see the screen from where I was standing but I swear she’d been watching a film.

‘No problem at all,’ Lisa goes when Majella explains the situation. ‘I’m guessing we have a kids’ menu?’

She’s looking straight at me, eyebrows raised.

‘You do,’ I sigh eventually. Christ, she hasn’t a clue. ‘I think it’s a choice of pasta or goujons or fish fingers.’

‘That’s what I thought,’ Lisa says with a nod, typing away. ‘It definitely sounds familiar anyway.’

‘I think that’s it so, isn’t it, Maj?’ I say, standing up and pointing at my watch. We really do need to hit the road.

‘Do you think I should have more of a … persona for this job?’ Lisa says, leaning back in her chair and chewing on her pen.

‘What?’ Majella looks as confused as I feel. I wiggle my left wrist at her.

‘I was just thinking it could be good for business if I was a bit more flamboyant. Maybe adopt an accent? The brides might like it.’

‘I think you’re doing fine just the way you are,’ I say, lying through my teeth while putting on my anorak.

‘Really, Aisling?’ She sounds surprised and chuffed at the same time. ‘That actually means a lot.’ God, she’d believe anything.

We’re hitting Ranelagh when my phone beeps in my bag.

‘Get that will you?’ I would usually ignore any and all distractions while driving, but it might be Carol with an emergency, and Majella can relay the information for me.

She reaches in and retrieves it. ‘It’s “Paul Oz New 2”,’ she says, sounding disappointed. ‘I was hoping it might be James in nothing but his tool belt.’

‘Maj!’ My cheeks flame. ‘Just read out the text.’

She clears her throat. ‘“Hannah is leaving in 3 days. Need to buy her something. Any ideas?”’

‘Wow,’ Majella says. ‘It sounds like he’s really fallen head over heels for this young wan.’

‘You know what he’s like. What do you think? She’s going to be crammed into a camper van with probably fifteen other girls for months so it can’t be a handbag or a scented candle or anything.’

‘Something small? Jewellery?’

‘Perfect. Type that out.’

‘That reminds me,’ Majella says, firing my phone back in my bag, ‘what’ll I get Pab for Christmas?’

‘Hmmm. I don’t really know. He’s a man of few needs. A lock of your hair?’

‘Gave him that last year. But that’s about all I can afford at the moment so you’re on the right track.’

Although all their spare cash is going towards invitations and candles and jam jars and all the bits that my voucher didn’t cover, Majella and Pablo are still saving for their own place.

‘Are you gone over your budget for the extra wedding bits?’ I’ve been trying to explain the concept of budgeting to Majella for years, but it wasn’t until she started pricing gospel choirs and doves that the penny finally dropped. She’s been diligently keeping track of her spending ever since, and I must say I’ve never been prouder.

‘No, I’m on top of that. I just ordered a kilo of confetti from China, actually – saved myself a fortune.’

‘You didn’t fork out for the new Colette Greene Beauty Experience in Arnotts did you? €350 is too much for a blow-dry and a spray tan, Maj – I don’t care if Colette herself is doing the spraying.’

‘I can’t say I wasn’t tempted,’ she admits, ‘but it’s school stuff. We’re crowdfunding for new laptops and we were so close to making our target that I needed to donate a few bob to get us over the line. It’s going to make my life so much easier in the long run.’

‘Fair dues, Maj. That must have put you in the principal’s good books.’

‘Well, she’s stopped calling me Marilyn, so it definitely helped.’