Prologue

I was checking for moths in the back of my wardrobe when I found it: my teenage diary. Well, one of many. There are three boxes of them under my bed, and another few in the attic too, but this one must have escaped my rigorous filing system. Mammy used to be at me to bin them, and now it’s to recycle them, but you never know when you might need a trip down memory lane.

Ever since Majella got engaged we can’t stop reminiscing about our old school days. You’d think she was dying, not getting ready to tie the knot. Of course, she was over like a hot snot when I told her I’d found the rogue diary, mad for a bit of nostalgia and a chance to reminisce on how skinny we were.

The year on the cover is 2005 but I could have already guessed that due to the sheer volume of Westlife pictures sellotaped all over it. I was sixteen. Transition year. The height of my Shane obsession.

‘That reminds me, I did my Junior Cert art project on the evolution of Nicky’s hair,’ Maj says, lying back on my single bed. ‘Got a B too. I must dig it out and show Pablo. He’s become a bit of a fan.’

Majella sailed through school, somehow managing to be friends with students and teachers alike, while also being a bit of a rip. I don’t know how she got away with it. She didn’t go to a single PE class, and the one time she convinced me to mitch, I got so nervous my stomach went funny and I spent the entire forty minutes in the girls’ cloakroom – I might as well have been in the sports hall doing the bleep test. To this day I still have to make sure I’m near a toilet if I’m stressed. It seems like a lifetime ago, but at the same time, not much has really changed. Even Westlife are back at it.

I can faintly hear Mammy downstairs shouting at Live-line as I flick open a random page – 19 February. ‘Aisling woz ere’ is scrawled around thirty times and I remember I was experimenting with the tail on my g that year. Straight? Curly? It looks like I was undecided. I still think the hearts above the i’s are quite funky.

‘You always did have lovely handwriting, Ais,’ Maj says approvingly.

Practice makes perfect and God knows I was trying to be perfect. I flick again.

‘Ooh, what’s this?’ I say with a smile. ‘March 23rd. Majella Moran is NOT MY FRIEND. Majella Moran BETRAYED ME. Majella Moran BETTER WATCH HER BACK.’ The words are scrawled in block capitals. I rack my brains trying to remember what I was on about. ‘Was that the time you told Baby Chief Gittons my 32AA bra was “absolutely swimming” on me?’ I ask.

Majella looks pensive. ‘Can’t remember, bird. That doesn’t sound like something I’d do?’

‘Oh, you did. But it was only because I decided Sinéad McGrath was going to be my best friend and I gave you back that friendship bracelet you got me in Tramore.’

‘You wagon!’ She swats me with a rolled-up copy of Wedding Belles magazine. I saw ‘Always the Bridesmaid?’ on the cover and couldn’t leave it behind me in the newsagent’s in Dublin last week. The woman at the till had asked was I the bride or the bridesmaid and I told her and we ended up talking for fifteen minutes about the best way to transport The Dress. Helping to transport The Dress is one of a bridesmaid’s most important duties and the woman in the shop – Helen was her name; we nearly swapped numbers – told me she once booked an extra seat on a flight to Palma for The Dress. Needs must and all that. There was quite a queue behind me at that stage and I definitely heard a few tuts so I had to take my magazine and let people pay for their chicken fillet rolls. As I was walking out, the woman called after me, ‘You sound like a great friend, Aisling. I hope all brides have an Aisling in their lives,’ and I was pure delighted until she roared, ‘And your time will come too,’ as I skirted the postcard stand on the way out the door.

I turn the page in the diary again and we’re greeted with what looks like an essay. The heading across the top, underlined several times, reads ‘30 Things I Must Do Before I’m 30’. Oh Jesus, I remember this. I was trying to pluck up the courage to buy a packet of pads in the chemist in Knock when I overheard Kelly Kennedy and Linda Dalton from sixth year reading out an article from Cosmopolitan about goals to achieve before that particular milestone. I was afraid to even look at Cosmo on the shelf in Filan’s newsagents in case I accidentally picked up a sex tip.

‘“Have savings.” Maybe if I stopped spending all my babysitting money in Topshop.’ Kelly had laughed, leaning on the counter while Linda took bottles of Sun-In out of a box. The whole school had gone bonkers for the stuff and I was nearly tempted myself until Deirdre Ruane turned her fringe bright orange. I dropped the pads and skulked out. When I got home, I decided to do up my own list. Right in this very room, actually.

Majella takes the diary out of my hand and scans the page. ‘You’re not doing too badly at all here, Ais.’

‘Really? Read me out a few there.’

‘Okay. “Number one: buy something in Topshop.”’

‘Check! It was a pair of sunglasses. Fifty per cent off because I got them on the eighth of December.’

‘“Number two: go on an amazing road trip with your bestie.” We’ve definitely done that.’

‘We were only in Kildare Village last week. So, yeah, check.’

‘“Number three: read Moby Dick.”’

‘I have it. I’ve started it.’

‘“Number four: buy my own car.”’

‘Well, I went in with Daddy on it.’

‘“Number five: do the Women’s Mini Marathon.”’

‘Check. And I have a number of T-shirts to prove it.’

‘“Number six: shift Prince William.”’

Maj grimaces a little and we look at each other and say in unison, nodding, ‘Prince Harry instead.’

‘His manners are just as good, I’m sure, and he’d treat you like a queen,’ Majella says confidentially. ‘No less than you deserve.’

She runs her finger down the page. ‘Not too shabby at all, Ais. Assuming you’re going to finish Moby Dick, given that Harry and William are taken and since you can no longer meet Pope John Paul, you’re twenty-seven out of thirty. I’d be happy with that. Very happy.’

‘What’s the last one then?’

Majella takes a deep breath. ‘“Number thirty: get married. Preferably to Shane Filan.”’

I paste on a smile. ‘You never know. There’s still a couple of months to my birthday.’