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In a hurry because they were late for the engagement party, Lindsey tucked in the end of Chad’s dressing, stretched a shrinker sock over the bandage, and pulled the leg of his shorts to conceal the redressed wound. The stitches were healing fast with no signs of infection, and the swelling had gone down substantially. The shrinker sock was doing its job. Even though she’d shown him that she knew how to massage the area to help with circulation, healing, and desensitization, he hadn’t let her do it since that one time in the bathroom a handful of days ago. But she hadn’t pushed the issue. She wanted him to be comfortable with his body, and if it bothered him when she cared for his leg, then she’d keep her interactions to redressing his wound as efficiently as possible and focus her attention on the rest of his body. He only allowed her to redress his leg now because both his hands were bandaged, his scraped knuckles covered with gauze.
He’d fallen during physical therapy a few days ago and had taken his frustration out with both fists on the wooden ramp that had tripped him. He hadn’t asked her to accompany him to a PT session since. She wasn’t sure why he cared so much that she’d witnessed his little meltdown, but she pretended like she hadn’t seen it an would never bring it up. She knew he wanted to use a prosthetic right away, but he still needed to strengthen his left leg and toughen his right so that the skin and muscle weren’t overly sensitive to bearing weight with a prosthetic device. He said he wanted a blade, insisting it would be best for running, and he planned to run everywhere after he was freed from his wheelchair. But first he had to heal and learn to walk before he could run, and he had no patience with his body.
“I think I should skip this party,” he said.
She stroked his hair, but he still avoided her gaze. “I promise you’ll have fun. Everyone wants to see you.”
“Wants to stare at me, you mean.”
“There might be some staring.” She leaned in to kiss his arousing lips. “But who can blame them? You’re hot.”
“If you say that too much, it comes across as insincere.”
The sentiment was anything but insincere. Chad was hot. Maybe she did tell him a bit too often. She’d never felt the need to verbally remind any of her past lovers how attractive she found them, so why did she do it with Chad?
“You’re not cute,” she said. “Your brother’s cute.”
“Gee, thanks. I didn’t mean you should go from one extreme to the other.”
“You’re more handsome than cute, but that’s not quite the right word either.” She nibbled on her fingertip as she saw past the still-healing cuts, the scrapes, and the almost completely faded bruises on his face.
He blinked at her in annoyance. “Don’t hurt yourself trying to describe me.”
“I have no problem finding the right word. Hot. You’re hot as fuck, Chad Mitchell. I’m sorry if my descriptions aren’t poetic enough for your liking.”
“Fine,” he said, throwing up both hands and trying to hide a pleased smile. “If you say I’m hot as fuck, I’m hot as fuck.”
“Thanks for agreeing with me. I’m sure you think I’m hot too.” She winked at him.
“No,” he said, his voice softening. “Your beauty is ethereal.”
Her breath caught. “Ethereal?”
“Why do you think I call you angel? Did I ever tell you that I thought you really were an angel when I first opened my eyes in the hospital and you were smiling at me from above? I thought you were there to deliver me to heaven.”
She shook her head, her heart buoyant with joy. He always lifted her up, no matter how far down she slid.
“I’m glad I’m not really an angel,” she said. “The world is a better place with you in it.”
He flushed slightly. It wasn’t the full-on blush his cute younger brother displayed regularly, but Chad’s humanity was showing. Lindsey loved watching him slowly open up so she could see what he was made of on the inside. She wasn’t sure how it was possible, but his inner workings were even more gorgeous to her than his drool-worthy exterior.
“Are you ready, then?” she asked. “I think all the guests have arrived. You get to be fashionably late among rock stars.”
“Okay, but don’t hover. I hate when you hover.”
“You do?” She bit her lip. She thought he liked her attention.
He grinned. “I love when you hover in private,” he said, “but it’s emasculating when you do it in front of everyone.”
Emasculating? She loved that he used extraordinary words. With all the brawn, heroism, and hotness Chad had going on, he didn’t need multisyllabic words to make an impression, but he continually impressed her on every level.
“I pinkie swear not to emasculate you in public.” She lifted her right pinkie finger and hooked it through his for a shake. “But I’m going to baby the hell out of you in private.”
“Deal.” He sucked in a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”
He smoothed both hands over his pale blue shirt—wiping the sweat off his palms, maybe—and wheeled himself toward the back door. Lindsey could hear the muffled sounds of conversation coming from the backyard. She was a little nervous too, to be honest. Now that two-thirds of her prospective baby daddies knew they were in the clear, the group was likely to wonder why she’d even been invited. She planned to swipe some DNA from Adam later. And if Jacob showed up—which seemed unlikely considering he was the one who broke up the band—she’d be getting that final sample by any means necessary. She wasn’t sure it mattered who the father was at this point. She could make a life for her and her daughter without him in the picture, but maybe she’d have some peace of mind if she knew who he was. And her daughter would probably want to know. She felt bad for trying to force her way on Owen at the beginning. She’d never been more desperate in her entire life, and he’d invited her in. Continued to look out for her. What a great guy. Both Mitchell sons were amazing, selfless men, so she had to give accolades to their parents for raising them right. She hoped she could be as good a mother as Joan was. The woman should be given sainthood for being so generous and caring toward the destitute groupie who’d tried—and failed—to trap her son.
Owen opened the back door and peered inside. “There you are,” he said to Chad. “I thought maybe you chickened out.”
“Lindsey was fixing my bandage,” he said.
She squeezed his shoulder for reassurance but allowed Owen to wheel him out of the house like some prize he’d procured. Chad had spent so much time warning Lindsey not to belittle him that he’d forgotten to tell his brother to knock it off.
“I’ve got it,” he growled at Owen, who released the chair grips as if they were hot iron.
The chair careened down the ramp. Everyone was already staring, but Lindsey caught the cringes and concerned stares of the guests as Chad stopped the chair’s forward momentum with his bandaged hands. She was sure his knuckles were killing him, but she kept her distance. Damn, it was hard not to hover.
Chad took a deep breath and continued to the bottom of the ramp. Lindsey felt the hostility radiating off him as his glare shot from one quickly averted gaze to another.
“I told Owen this was a mistake,” he said. “Sorry to ruin your fun.”
He spun his chair around to start back up the ramp, but Lindsey purposefully blocked his way. She knew he wouldn’t run her over. Or she’d thought she knew that until she saw the anger simmering in his stormy blue eyes.
She leaned close to him and touched his cheek, whispering into his ear. “You’re not going to scare off that easily, are you?”
The muscles of his jaw flexed beneath her fingertips, but he shook his head slightly.
“You’re strong and brave and hot as fuck,” she murmured into his ear. “Every time you see me, know I’m thinking those things because they’re all true. If you start to care what anyone else thinks, focus on me. Now go have a good time. I’ll give you some space.”
It took a Herculean effort to stand straight and step away—both because her back was killing her and because Chad still wore an uncharacteristic look of uncertainty across his face.
“Hey, Chad!” Gabe called from across the yard. “Nice haircut. You don’t mind if I steal that style as my own?”
Several people gasped at the insensitive remark, but Lindsey smiled as the tension drained from Chad’s body. She could have kissed Gabe for putting Chad at ease—well, if Gabe would have let her, which she doubted, seeing as this was his engagement party.
“Banner, you aren’t cool enough to pull this off,” Chad shot back, swiping a hand over the bandage on the side of his head.
Gabe’s crimson-tipped Mohawk and scalp dragon tattoos were a tad more daring than Chad’s half-shaved head, but Gabe rolled with it. He crossed the yard, tugging his fiancée behind him by one hand.
“That’s a fact,” Gabe said as he approached. “Chad Mitchell has always been the coolest guy on the block.”
“That’s because only old ladies live on this block,” Kellen said, and Lindsey could have kissed him too, except Dawn would probably cut her lips off if she tried. Kellen patted Owen’s arm. “Oh, and Owen here.”
For a split second, Lindsey thought the two of them had finally made up, but Owen leveled Kellen with a venom-laced glare and pulled away. Dawn, who was watching the former best friends, deflated with disappointment and made a slapping motion with one hand as if trying to knock sense into one or both of them from a distance.
After Gabe introduced Melanie to Chad and they each had thanked him for his service in the military, he wheeled off with newfound confidence. Lindsey told Chad how awesome she thought he was on a daily basis, but he was right, the impact of her words had lessened with repeated gushing. It was great that someone else had lifted him up. He needed that reassurance whether he thought he did or not.
Lindsey stepped up to Gabe and squeezed his arm in gratitude. “Thank you for making him feel normal.” She dropped his arm to hurry after Chad.
They hadn’t even made it to the next group of partygoers when Chad glanced over his shoulder and offered her a soft smile. “Hovering,” he said quietly, and she cringed.
Sorry, she mouthed.
She forced herself to turn away and tried to find a friendly face in the crowd. One appeared in front of her almost instantly.
“Oh hello, Jordan,” she said, wondering how long he’d been following her. “How have you been?”
“Kind of bored now that the tour’s been canceled,” he said. “You’re looking good, Lindsey.”
Sole Regret’s lackey-of-all-trades was only a couple of years younger than she was, yet she thought of him as a kid. He was a real sweetheart, though. He always went out of his way to help her out.
“Thanks. I feel like a duck-buffalo most days.”
“A duck-buffalo?”
“Waddling and lumbering at the same time.”
He laughed a little too uproariously, and she couldn’t help but smile. He tried so hard to connect with her.
“You’re staying with Owen?” he asked after he’d caught his breath.
“Just until I can find a job and get my own place.”
“You can crash at my apartment if you ever need to,” he said. “It’s not very big—just one bedroom—but I can take the couch, and you can have my bed.”
“That’s sweet of you, Jordan,” she said.
He was doing that clingy thing he tended to do. It sort of reminded her of how she’d acted when she’d first shown up pregnant behind the stadium in Houston. She cringed inwardly at the person she’d been. No wonder the band had wanted to leave her on the side of the road.
She spotted someone she needed to talk to making his way toward the chow line that was forming along the buffet table. “I need to talk to Adam,” she told Jordan.
“Oh, I’ll come with you. I wanted to ask him if he’s got an extra guitar I can borrow. I play some, you know. Been practicing. Do you like guitar best? Or drums?”
“Bass,” she said. And not just because it was the instrument that Owen played.
“I could play bass.”
She smiled, realizing she wasn’t going to shake Jordan easily. It was as if he liked her or something. But that was dumb. She was pregnant and older than he was. And totally not interested. She allowed herself a quick glance in Chad’s direction and found him laughing with Kellen, while Joan kept one eye on him—Lindsey wasn’t the only one who hovered over the dauntless veteran. She was happy to see Kellen had stayed at the party, even though Owen seemed to wish him dead, and that Chad held his brother’s recently acquired nemesis no ill will.
“It’s a real shame about Owen’s brother,” Jordan said quietly. “Taken down in his prime. He was such a strong guy.
Lindsey whipped her head around and leveled Jordan with a glare. “He’s still strong,” she snapped. “Still in his prime. Nothing took him down.”
She stalked off, forcing herself not to rush to Chad’s side and comfort him over words he hadn’t heard spoken.
“I didn’t mean . . .” Jordan said. He was following her still. “Lindsey, please don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She showed him the palm of her hand over her shoulder, effectively telling him that their conversation was over. She spotted Adam’s girlfriend—er, fiancée, rather—sitting under Owen’s only large shade tree. Madison had a huge cast on one arm from wrist to shoulder and looked pretty fucking miserable in the cloying heat. Poor thing. The only time she brightened at all was when her gaze landed on Adam, who’d entered the chow line and was loading up two plates.
Lindsey knew for a fact that Madison hated her fucking guts, so in hopes of gaining her favor at least a little, she waved in greeting, but was ignored. So, Lindsey blew out a tense breath and steeled her nerve to approach Adam. He was talking to Melanie’s best friend, Nikki, but Lindsey had to take the opportunity to spring her request on Adam before it closed. Was Nikki one of the women who hated her? She was getting confused. Did she dare approach Adam now? She had two mouth swabs tucked into a pocket, one of them already labeled with his name. Jacob’s swab was in there too, just in case.
“Are you hungry?” Jordan asked.
“I’m always hungry,” she admitted, deciding her attempts to shake him were futile. Plus, he was pretty good at fetching stuff. Normally Sole Regret paid him to do it.
“You look a little tired. Why don’t you sit down? I’ll grab a plate for you. What are you craving?”
Calories.
“Jordan, that’s really not necessary.”
“I want to do it,” he assured her, sliding a hand to the middle of her back and urging her toward the row of folding chairs she’d help set up earlier along either side of the long tables they’d rented. Caitlyn and Dawn had let her help do some of the setup even though she wasn’t supposed to serve as a hostess or let on that Dawn had been involved in the planning of the dual engagement party. All the keeping track of who knew what and what not to say to who and who knew something about this but not that made Lindsey tired. She’d never known so much drama surrounded the band, though she did know she was a big heaping cup of their current drama.
“I think I will sit for a while.” As soon as she was seated, and Jordan had hurried off to get in line, Chad wheeled himself over to her.
“Who’s your shadow?” he asked.
She tilted her head. “Shadow?”
“The kid with the lapdog expression who’s been following you around with a hard-on since you came out of the house.”
“You mean Jordan?”
He glanced in Jordan’s direction and narrowed his eyes. “Are you two involved?”
Lindsey laughed. “Why? Are you jealous?”
“Should I be?”
“I’m not interested in him,” Lindsey said, unable to stop herself from resting a hand on his thigh. “I’m only interested in you.”
“Why?” Chad said. “He’s got two fully functional legs, isn’t surly or bossy, and has great hair.”
“He’s also annoyingly subservient.” She looked over at Jordan and found him staring at her and Chad. He beamed a smile at her and waved.
Lindsey waved back. “But he has always been nice to me, so don’t be a jerk to him.”
“Then don’t let him touch you again.”
“He didn’t touch—”
“He did.”
“Why are you acting all possessive?” She hoped it was because he was thinking of her as more than the body that served his physical needs.
“Because you’re mine,” he said.
She was? News to her. She opened her mouth to ask him to clarify his intentions, but she caught sight of Jacob out of the corner of her eye and jumped up as if the mere sight of him released a magical power that straightened knees. She’d heard of the enigmatic vocalist’s ability to spread female thighs like magic, but nothing about a knee-straightening skill.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” Chad asked, but she was too focused on Jacob to respond.
Jacob was crouched next to Gabe, who sat reclining on a blanket next to his Melanie in the wide side yard of Owen’s house. The two of them were surrounded by his family and hers, and both looked deliriously happy. As she watched the couple interact with obvious loving devotion toward each other, Lindsey was glad Gabe wasn’t her baby’s daddy. Not because he wouldn’t make a great father, but because she wouldn’t want to put strain on the newly engaged couple’s relationship.
Jacob kept looking toward the street, as if expecting a SWAT team to burst onto the scene and arrest him for arming the bomb that had blown up Sole Regret. Lindsey would like to confront him about why he was being so goddamned selfish, but she needed to get him to give her a DNA sample for the paternity test first.
Jacob clapped Gabe on the shoulder and then stood. He started walking away before Lindsey managed to reach him. She started after him as fast she could go, which honestly was still pretty slow.
“Shade! Wait! I need your DNA!” Lindsey cringed. Had she really just bellowed that out in the middle of the party?
Jacob didn’t acknowledge her, only walked faster. She pressed a hand against her belly and started jogging. Just before he stepped into the street, Adam rushed out in front of him, and Jacob drew to an abrupt halt.
Yes, this was perfect! She could get them to swab their cheeks at the same time.
“You’ve got some nerve showing up here!” Adam shouted at Jacob.
“I’ve got nerve?” Jacob shouted back. “You’re the fucking asshole who took off minutes before a set and didn’t tell anyone where you were going.”
“You know that was an emergency.”
“Your entire life is an emergency, Adam. Half train wreck, half bomb-shelled aftermath.”
Lindsey stopped several feet away, waiting for an opening so she could request cheek samples.
“You’re so arrogant, you think the entire world revolves around you and your wishes. News flash, Jacob, you’re not God’s gift to humanity.”
Gabe had risen from his relaxing spot on the side lawn. “Can we not do this today?” he asked. “I’m supposed to be celebrating, and so is Adam.”
“I was celebrating just fine until he showed up.” Adam jabbed an accusatory finger in Jacob’s direction.
“Um, excuse me,” Lindsey said. “I was wondering if I could—” She was cut off by the hard glares of three pissed-off rock stars. “Maybe later.” She retreated several feet, and the men turned their glares on each other.
“I’ve had more than enough of this bullshit,” Kellen said as he approached. “Why don’t you all apologize to each other and we can put this shit behind us?”
“If anyone needs to apologize, it’s you!” Owen bellowed at Kellen.
“I already apologized,” Kellen said. “I’ve apologized a thousand times.”
“But never for the right thing!”
“I don’t know what the right thing is, Owen! You won’t fucking talk to me.”
“You know what you did!”
Lindsey wasn’t sure who threw the first punch, but without warning she was watching a full-out brawl. She was so stunned, she didn’t react at first, but someone shoved Jacob so hard that he stumbled into her and she fell backward on the lawn, landing on her ass with a hard thud. Several people rushed to her, making sure she was okay before helping her to her feet. The five members of Sole Regret were going at each other like mad men. Chad barked orders for them to cease the insanity—completely ignored—while girlfriends, parents, and roadies tried to break them apart, only to get caught in the crossfire.
Within ten minutes, the cops were there. Two patrol cars at first, and then another couple a few minutes later. A concerned neighbor—likely Mrs. Worth, who was watching the scene from behind her picket fence next door—had called them, and by the time they managed to subdue everyone and put each of them handcuffed, bruised, and bleeding into the back of several squad cars, everyone was pissed off and taking sides. The police made the mistake of putting Adam and Jacob into the back of the same car and had to break up a kicking fight between them before finally driving off.
The remaining partygoers stared after the cop cars in stunned silence.
After a long moment, Joan asked, “What just happened?” She rubbed both temples with her fingertips. “Can someone explain this to me? I honestly don’t get why they’re fighting.”
Joan wasn’t the only one confused by Sole Regret’s rapid deterioration. Everyone started talking at once to try to make sense of what had become of the once close-knit group. Lindsey just wanted to curl into a ball and cry.
Chad wheeled up beside Lindsey and said, “Great fucking party.”
“What the hell got into them?” Lindsey said, not able to fully comprehend what had just happened.
A few officers had stayed behind to question everyone, but each witness had a different story.
“Was anyone there when it started?” a cop called out.
Lindsey raised her hand hesitantly. She’d been front and center when the brawl began, yet she wasn’t sure how it had escalated so quickly. She told the cop what little she remembered.
“It sounds like they’re all at fault,” the officer said.
Lindsey didn’t want any of them to get into trouble. “They’ve been having some issues,” she said vaguely. “But not one of them would hurt anyone on purpose.”
“I was at that Silverton character’s house just a couple of weeks ago,” a different officer said. “Breaking up a fight between a pair of sisters.”
The officer taking Lindsey’s statement sighed. “Violence is not the answer, people.”
“Depends how pissed you are,” Chad said under his breath.
“Let’s go bail our idiot men out of jail,” Caitlyn said.
“I say let the fools rot in there for a while,” Dawn said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Maybe they’ll be able to talk this out now that they’ve gotten the anger out of their systems,” Madison said, standing sideways to keep her cast out of the way.
Lindsey sincerely doubted that a single one of them had worked out his anger. She knew, as a longtime fan of the band, that Shade and Adam had always been at odds. She was surprised that Owen and Kellen weren’t getting along, and poor Gabe always seemed to get caught in the middle of the chaos.
“Do you still want DNA samples from those immature asses?” Chad asked her, a smirk twisting his gorgeous mouth.
A new bruise blossomed on his left cheek.
“Did you get hit?” she asked, fingers moving to rest just beneath the mark.
“A couple of times,” he said. “Nothing major. Did you?”
“I got knocked down, but I wasn’t hurt. Plenty of cushioning back there.”
“Very nice cushioning,” he said, his gaze traveling down her body before returning to her face. “You’re sure you’re not hurt?”
“I’m sure.”
“You didn’t answer my first question.”
What had he asked? She’d lost her train of thought when he looked at her like he needed a special treatment. Oh yes, her samples. Did she want to know if Jacob or Adam was her baby’s father even when they were acting like a pair of infants themselves?
“Yeah. I guess if they’re locked up in jail, they won’t be able to get away from my swabs.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“Should we take Owen’s Jeep?” Lindsey asked. Her heap had arrived from Oklahoma a couple of days ago, but it was in the shop since a few parts—and many of the belongings she’d had stashed in the back seat—had gone missing between there and Austin. The rear passenger side window needed to be replaced as well. More expenses on her I Owe Owen list.
“He won’t mind.”
“I don’t know where the jail is,” she said.
“I think I remember the way.”
“Is that because you’ve been there before?”
“I had a few buddies back in high school who insisted life wasn’t worth living if you didn’t spend a few nights in jail.”
“And you agreed with that?” she asked, starting toward the house to collect her purse and Owen’s keys. Several cars had already pulled out. She wasn’t sure how many of them were going to the same place she planned to go. Maybe all of them.
“If you’re asking if I served time, the answer is no. I was too afraid of my mom to get into much trouble. If you’re asking if I egged them on, yes. A little.”
“Instigator.”
“Not all of us can be angels,” he said.
She knew he wasn’t talking about her. She was far from angelic. She’d eagerly participated in an orgy on a tour bus, gotten herself knocked up, and was now on her way to the jail to collect DNA samples from potential fathers. No one with that rap sheet could ever be called an angel.
By the time she and Chad arrived at the county jail in downtown Austin, bail had already been set by the magistrate and the guys had been put in holding until the paperwork could be filed, court dates set, and fees paid. When Lindsey explained to the officer in charge why she wanted to speak to Adam and Jacob—Adam who was already being bailed out by Madison, and Jacob who’d been left to rot—the guy blinked at her in disbelief and shook his head.
“As if these guys don’t have enough problems to sort through,” he muttered under his breath. But he pulled Adam aside before he could escape.
Lindsey couldn’t look Adam in the eye. She never could. He had always been over the top intense, and the only band member who might be on par with him intimidation-wise was Jacob. But she’d worry about him in a minute.
“I . . . uh, sorry to bother you, A-Adam um, Mr. Taylor, but I still haven’t figured out who the father of my baby is, and you haven’t taken the paternity test yet.”
“It isn’t mine,” he said before stalking away.
She might have let him go if she hadn’t caught Chad watching her. If he could be brave, so could she.
“If you don’t do it willingly, I’ll have to subpoena you for a sample,” she called after Adam.
He stopped dead in his tracks and turned in her direction, icing her over with a glare so cold, the sunshine streaming through the window behind her shivered.
“I said, it’s not mine,” he said, enunciating every word as if she were too stupid to comprehend what he was saying.
“Just give the lady her sample,” the police officer said. “She’s going to get it eventually. Why be stubborn about it?”
“I have better places to be,” he said. “Are you going to arrest me again, force me to take her ridiculous test?”
The officer gave Lindsey a sympathetic look but shook his head. “I can’t force you against your will unless there’s a court order.”
Madison reached out the arm not in a cast and took the swab from Lindsey’s hand. Before Lindsey could thank Madison, Adam took his cooperative fiancée by the elbow and tugged her toward the door.
“Adam, you can’t keep running from responsibility,” Madison said.
“Watch me.”
Lindsey took a deep breath, praying he wasn’t the father, and if he was, that irresponsibility wasn’t a genetic trait. She turned to the officer. “Can I talk to Jacob Silverton, please? He’s still in holding, I think.”
“You need to swab him too?”
She nodded. Technically, she only needed one sample to know who’d fathered her baby. If Jacob was positive, it was obviously his, and if he was negative, that left Adam. The way her luck was going, she didn’t even need a conclusive test to guess who had birth control–defying sperm.
Jacob didn’t protest when the guard swabbed his cheek for her, but he looked so defeated sitting by himself in that little room that she wanted to cry. Where was the badass rock star who effortlessly rallied a crowd of thousands with the flick of his wrist?
“Didn’t anyone come to get you?” she asked through the open door.
“I didn’t call anyone,” he said, his blue eyes weary. “I’d rather be here than home, to be honest.”
Lindsey bit her lip. She idolized this man and didn’t know how to help him. She didn’t have the funds to bail him out even if he’d asked. “Shade, if you need to talk—”
“Go on home, Lindsey.” He stared down at his clasped hands. “You got your DNA sample. What more do you want from me?” A muscle flexed in his jaw. “I don’t think I can handle any more bad news right now.”
“Me having your baby would be bad news?” He opened his mouth to respond, but she didn’t want to hear it, so she hurriedly said, “The clinic will let you know if it’s yours. But whatever the results say, you never have to see either of us again, if you don’t want to.” She held her head high as she walked out of the holding area, but inside she was dying. She wanted her daughter to have a father who was happy she existed, not one who considered her bad news or an unwanted responsibility.
“Are you crying?” Chad asked when she returned to the area where releases were processed.
She wiped a tear from her face, but shook her head.
“What did Silverton say to you? I’ll kick his ass if he hurt you.”
“He didn’t say anything to hurt me. I’m not crying for me.”
“Surely you’re not crying for me again.”
She cradled her belly. “I’m crying for her. She hasn’t even been born yet, and she’s already been rejected. Nobody wants her.”
“You do.” Chad placed a hand on her belly.
“Yeah,” she said, but the tears fell faster.
“I do,” he added.
“Chad . . .”
“I do,” he said, his tone more convincing. “I don’t care that we don’t share DNA, I want her in my life.” He tilted his head back to look up at Lindsey. “And I want you.”
“I can’t ask you—”
“You didn’t ask me. Now stop crying. Your baby hasn’t been rejected. She’s wanted by two pretty terrific people.”
He winked at her, and she laughed through her tears.
She stroked his hair and gazed down at him, knowing her heart was on full display, but she couldn’t help it. She loved the guy. Too fast, she knew. But how could she not love him?
“You’re wonderful.”
“I’d do anything to make you smile, angel.”
She licked her lips, unable to ask him for anything more than he’d already willingly given, but she could ask for something for someone else. “Could you do me one favor?” She lifted a finger.
“Anything.”
“Could you bail Jacob out of jail? I don’t think anyone is coming to get him. I’d do it, but I can’t afford to.” She might be able to put up her car as collateral for a bond, but she doubted the piece of shit would even start.
Chad held her gaze for a long moment, considering her request. He surprised her by saying no.
“That’s something you need to ask of Owen, not me,” he said. “If this band is ever going to get back together, they have to help each other.”
“Won’t that just make Shade feel indebted to Owen?”
“The egotistical prick needs to feel indebted to someone. He’s so pissed at Adam for being selfish and irresponsible that he doesn’t see he’s behaving the same way.”
Chad Mitchell, big brother to all. Lindsey smiled at the thought.
Lindsey called out to Owen, who was sheepishly thanking Caitlyn for vouching for him as she signed off on his release paperwork.
He glanced at the officer in charge for permission to leave Caitlyn’s side. Lindsey foresaw a lot of make-up sex in their future. Maybe Joan wouldn’t mind if Lindsey came over for an extended visit. She could hide out at Joan’s place until Owen and Caitlyn’s pheromones cleared.
Owen looked at his brother instead of Lindsey when he came over. “Something wrong?”
“Lindsey wants to ask you for a favor.”
“Not for me,” she said. She already owed him a thousand favors. “For Shade—Jacob.” Jacob seemed like a more personable name. It felt a bit presumptuous of her to call him that—they weren’t friends, even if they might be parents together—but his given name humanized him. She hadn’t called Owen by his stage nickname—Tags—for ages now. And that story she’d read about Owen always wearing those dog tags to honor his brother had a lot deeper meaning now than it had before.
“He’s not on the top of my list of people I’m willing to help at the moment,” Owen said. “Starts a fight at my house. Ruins Caitlyn’s party. Gets me arrested. Ends my career.” He ticked off each crime on his fingertips.
“Actually, I think Adam started the fight,” Lindsey said. She wasn’t sure if Adam had thrown the first punch, but Jacob had been leaving the party when Adam confronted him. Maybe if Lindsey hadn’t called after Jacob while he was trying to escape, Adam wouldn’t have noticed he was there. She wasn’t sure. Maybe the whole fight was her fault. Whoever was at fault didn’t really matter. She just couldn’t stand the thought of Jacob Silverton being so alone that no one was willing to bail him out.
“To be fair, I wouldn’t bail Adam out either,” Owen said
“Or Kellen?” Chad asked, his head tilted to one side.
Owen scowled. “Why don’t you call Shade’s wife?” He stalked off before Lindsey could plead her case.
“I’m sure someone already called her!” she yelled after him.
“Can’t he just bail himself out?” Chad asked.
“The magistrate said someone had to claim responsibility for each of them,” she said. “I don’t know why he put that condition on their release.”
“Probably because they’re rock stars and can’t be trusted to take care of themselves.”
Chad rolled his eyes, but Lindsey figured that was probably exactly what that magistrate had been thinking.
So Owen was out. Lindsey glanced around for another potential benefactor. “Gabe!” she shouted gratefully.
Gabe, who was in line to be released and flanked by Melanie and Nikki, turned at the sound of his name and cringed when he saw who’d called for him. Jeez. Lindsey had thought they were all past the point of her mere presence causing distress.
“What do you want, Lindsey?”
She looked down at Chad, who had yet to leave her side, and whispered, “Maybe you should ask him.”
“Gabe is Jacob’s best friend after Adam.”
“After Adam?” She blinked at Chad, wondering if he’d lost his mind.
“Yes. Adam and Jacob have been best friends for a very long time.”
Well, hell. No wonder Jacob looked so defeated. If she had a best friend like Adam . . . But, wait. She did have a best friend who’d utterly betrayed her. She hadn’t talked to Vanessa in months, and doubted she’d ever speak to her again, but she still cared about her. She might have even bailed her out of jail, if such an act was necessary.
“Did you want something, Lindsey?” Gabe asked from his position near the desk.
“I want someone to get Jacob out of here.” Anyone would do. Maybe she could start a GoFundMe campaign on the Internet, and Sole Regret’s fans could pool their money. Of course, the fans were pretty pissed at him for breaking up the band. She wondered if even his biggest fans would contribute a dime.
“Melanie will divorce me if I bail him out,” Gabe said.
“You’re not even married yet,” Lindsey reminded him.
“She’d marry me ASAP and then immediately divorce me.”
“I wouldn’t divorce you,” Melanie said. “But you would be sleeping on the sofa with the dogs for a month or two.”
“Doesn’t anyone care about him?” Lindsey blurted.
She fumed, trying to think of a way to come up with bail money on her own. She wasn’t leaving this police station until Jacob was free. If she had to go out on the street and beg for spare change, she’d do it. Owen had left with Caitlyn, and Gabe was nearly through being processed, when a pretty blonde stepped up to the counter and said, “I’m here for Jacob Silverton.”
The woman was wearing shorts that showed off a pair of long tanned legs. Lindsey envied that she could look down and see her feet.
“I thought you dumped him,” Gabe said to the woman.
She ignored him.
“Does this mean you still care?” Gabe continued. “Because you broke his fucking heart, lady.”
She continued to ignore him.
“That’s not his ex-wife,” Lindsey thought aloud. There was some resemblance, but his wife, Tina, was overdone to the point of trashiness, and this woman appeared almost wholesome.
“That’s his sister-in-law. Amanda,” Chad said.
“Ex-sister-in-law,” Lindsey said. She refused to believe Jacob was actually back with the wife he’d rightly divorced years ago.
“I don’t want to see him,” Amanda said to the clerk. “I just want to make sure he’s released. Does he have to know it was me who bailed him out?”
“There’s a provision on his release that someone has to vouch for him,” the clerk said, “or they’ll process him through to a jailcell from holding.”
“You can use my name,” Lindsey blurted, shouldering her way through the few remaining in their crowd and coming to stand next to Amanda. “I’d be happy to sign for him. I just don’t have the money.”
Amanda did a good job of not looking at Lindsey’s belly directly.
“Are you a friend of his?” she asked.
“I wish. I’m just a huge fan,” Lindsey gushed, her hand pressing against her abdomen. And maybe the mother of his child. The baby kicked her palm, either agreeing or protesting the idea. Or maybe she was just stretching.
“How did you find out he was here?” Gabe asked. “Listening to the police scanner?”
Amanda shook her head. “My sister called my mom all upset that Jacob had been arrested and ranting about him running off without telling her and that she planned to leave him in jail for as long as they’d keep him. I happened to be there when she was going off on the phone.”
“So are you bailing him out to piss off your sister or because you still care about him?” Gabe asked.
“I think that’s obvious,” Amanda said, not looking at Gabe as she dug a wad of cash out of her purse.
“I should tell him that you bailed him out,” Gabe said.
“Please don’t.” Amanda finally looked him in the eye. “It’ll just make it harder for him to move on.”
“He’s already moved on. With your leech of a sister.”
Amanda nodded and handed the cash to Lindsey. “Thanks for doing this.” She squeezed Lindsey’s forearm and then backed away. She turned and hurried toward the exit.
“Amanda?” Gabe called after her. “What are you running from?”
She didn’t answer. She was already gone.
“Why are you harassing her?” Melanie asked.
“Because Adam might have broken Jacob, but that woman destroyed him.”
Lindsey was puzzled. If Amanda held Jacob in such low regard, why had she handed over five thousand dollars in cash to bail him out of jail? Maybe it was to get back at her sister, but that would be pretty expensive payback . And maybe the possibility of having a new baby wasn’t the worst thing that had happened to Jacob in the past few weeks.
Lindsey happily handed over the five grand—though secretly she’d have liked to invest the money to see how much she could have made it grow. Her simulated day trader account was already up twelve percent in less than a month, so she couldn’t help but wonder how well she might do if she invested real money. Her confidence to return to the job she’d loved, despite the stress, was growing, but she doubted she’d ever get a chance to invest professionally again. Better, more experienced investment bankers had been permanently ousted from the profession. Maybe she should read up on what they did with their careers after a stumble.
With his bail paid, Jacob was soon released to Lindsey’s care, but once she had him, she didn’t know what to do with him.
The two of them stood in silence on the top of the steps outside the building while Chad wheeled around the ramp. Jacob’s hands were crammed into the front pockets of his jeans, and he toed at a spot on the concrete. He seemed so lost. Lindsey wished she knew how to help him find himself again, but she didn’t even know how to find herself.
“I’d offer you a place to stay,” she said, “but I don’t think Owen would appreciate it.”
“I thought you were with Chad,” Jacob said, his gaze shifting to the ramp behind her.
“I am. Sort of. We’re both mooching off your bassist.” She laughed.
“I’m sure he’s fine with that. Owen likes sticking his neck out for people.”
“Any chance you and Adam can patch things up?” she asked.
“No.” He pulled a hand out of his pocket and extended it in her direction. She shook it awkwardly. “I’ll get that money back to you as soon as I can.”
“It wasn’t my mo—” She caught herself before she let Amanda’s secret slip. “Muh . . . muh . . . mum’s idea.” Wow, that didn’t make any sense. Terrible save, Lindsey. She coughed. “It was muh, muh, my idea, so no rush. Just pay me back whenever you get the chance. Or when the county returns the amount to you. Just don’t miss your court date, or we’re both in trouble.” And someone would permanently lose five thousand bucks.
“Are you coming, Lindsey?” Chad called up from the bottom of the steps where he sat watching them.
“Coming!” But before she could take a single step, Jacob caught her arm.
“I hope that baby isn’t mine for your sake,” he said. “I can’t seem to do right by anyone.”
“Not even your daughter? What’s her name?”
“Julie.” His face softened slightly, but after a few seconds, he shook his head. “She’s probably better off without me too.”
“You don’t believe that.”
He raked a hand through his short black hair and stared over her head.
“Well, I don’t believe that.”
If she tried really hard, she could picture him up on stage—a microphone in one hand—singing with every piece of his soul. He touched so many lives with Sole Regret’s music—didn’t he understand how much he meant to people? If as many people cared that she was alive, she was sure she’d look a lot less miserable than he did at that moment.
“You know, if this baby isn’t yours, then it’s Adam’s.”
He cringed. “Then maybe I do hope it’s mine.”
He’d only said maybe, but it lifted her spirits. He obviously loved his daughter, so why wouldn’t he love another?
“It’s a girl, by the way.”
“Not sure how I’d manage being wrapped around two little fingers at once.” He chuckled and took her elbow to help her navigate the steps.
“Are you going to go home?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll stay at my place for a few days. It’s still on the market. Probably because someone keeps stealing the For Sale sign out of my yard.”
He scratched his jaw.
“If you need to talk to someone, you can call me,” she said. “I’ll try to be as unbiased as possible, but honestly, I’m hoping Sole Regret will sort out its difference and give me more music to love.” Because she was still fangirling over them and their music. That hadn’t changed. She might hide it a little better, but it blew her mind that she was getting to know these guys personally.
“Thanks for the offer.”
He didn’t ask her for her number. Instead, he reached out a hand in Chad’s direction. Chad didn’t shake it, however, because he was too busy frowning at them like they’d been making out rather than having a civilized, friendly conversation.
“Good to see you, Chad,” Jacob said, dropping his hand. “I wanted to say hi at the party, but I was hoping to get out of there without Adam seeing me.”
So, Jacob hadn’t been running from Lindsey and her DNA swab; he’d been avoiding Adam.
“Lindsey’s with me,” Chad said, taking her hand.
“I noticed.”
“I just want that to be clear. If the kid is yours, I’m not stepping aside for you. She’s still with me.”
Lindsey squeezed Chad’s damp hand. “I think Jacob has enough problems with his other baby mama to ever consider getting involved with another one.”
Jacob chuckled. “She’s right, but it wouldn’t matter. I can tell she’s totally into you, man.”
“Totally!” Lindsey said in her best Valley girl impersonation.
The tension drained from Chad’s face, but he didn’t release the grip on her fingers. “And I plan on raising that baby as my own.”
“Chad, if he wants—”
“As my own.” Chad cut off Lindsey’s protest and dropped her hand before spinning his chair and wheeling himself down the sidewalk to where they’d parked—not in a handicapped spot at his insistence.
Jacob and Lindsey exchanged concerned looks.
“I’d better talk to him,” she said. “See you, Jacob.”
“Later, Lindsey.”
Chad had already folded his wheelchair and stuffed it into the back seat of the Jeep by the time Lindsey caught up with him. It was amazing what he could accomplish when he set his mind to it, especially when he was pissed off.
“I apologize,” he said when she stopped behind him. “What I said was completely out of line.”
“You’re allowed to have feelings and even to express them from time to time.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He opened the driver’s side door and grabbed the roll bar to swing himself into the car.
“You’re driving?” she asked.
“Get used to it,” he grumbled. “I don’t like being taxied around like a goddamned invalid.”
She ducked her head and smiled to herself. If Chad ever faltered on his path to recovery, all she had to do was make him feel something strongly enough to piss him off and he’d blast through any milestone. She doubted he even realized that by bottling up his emotions, he gave others ammunition against him. She was sure he thought the exact opposite, that burying his feelings made him invulnerable.
“I can barely reach the pedals anyway,” she said. “I have to push the seat way far back to fit my belly behind the wheel.”
He grunted his acknowledgement.
“But I’m not getting into the car until you kiss me.”
She placed her hands on the top of the door, where the window had been lowered completely, and leaned in, lips poised.
She half expected him to protest being bossed around by the likes of her, but he cupped the back of her head and kissed her until her knees went weak. When he pulled away, all the anger and confusion in his gaze had melted into lust and something stronger she was too afraid to hope was real.
“Get in the car, angel,” he murmured, stroking his thumb over her cheek as he gazed into her eyes.
Once they had settled into the Jeep, Lindsey drew a small spiral-bound notebook out of her purse and flipped to a blank page. At the top she wrote I owe Amanda, and beneath that she scrawled: Jacob’s bail $5000. Under that line she added (potentially reimbursed). She then flipped back several pages and added a new line item to one of several I Owe Owen pages: gas to courthouse $15. She went ahead and added that day’s rent expense while she was at it.
“What are you writing?” Chad asked, and she lifted her gaze to find him watching her suspiciously.
She closed the notebook, but he snatched it out of her hand. “Is it about me?”
“It’s none of your business,” she said, snatching the notebook back and shoving it into her purse.
“It is about me.”
“It’s not,” she said. “Not today, anyway. Are we going or not?”
“I just realized I have a slight problem,” he said. “Owen’s Jeep has a manual transmission.”
“You can’t drive a stick? Seriously? I thought all tough guys drove sticks.” A second later she slapped a hand over her mouth when she realized why he couldn’t drive a stick and because she’d unthinkingly teased him about it.
“I don’t think I can work three pedals with one foot, no,” he said.
“Sorry. I didn’t think.”
“Actually, I’m glad you didn’t think not to tease me. Reinforces that you aren’t fixated on my shortcomings.”
She leaned over to kiss him tenderly. “What shortcomings?”
He tapped her nose with one fingertip. “Just for that, I’m going to try those damned crutches when I get home.”
He hadn’t wanted to try them again since he’d tripped and fallen at physical therapy several days ago. She loved how he used her as an excuse to make strides in his recovery. She didn’t mind being his scapegoat one bit.
“It’s fine,” she said. “I’ll drive.” She hopped out of the car.
He scooted from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat—somehow avoiding a stick shift up the ass—and was rifling through her purse when she got into the car again.
“What are you doing?”
“Seeing what you were writing about me,” he said, pulling out her IOU notebook. “May I?” he asked.
She jerked it out of his hand. “No, you may not. And I already told you it isn’t about you. If you must know, it’s a list of all the money I owe people. You aren’t in there much. Unless you think I should be paying you for your lovemaking services. Then I probably owe you ten grand or something.” She tossed the notebook at him, and it landed on his lap, open to a page filled with line items and summations. She reached over to close the cover, but his quick scan of the page had revealed enough.
“My brother charges you for water and electricity and gas and food?” he bellowed. “I’m going to whip his ass when I see him. He was raised better than that.”
“Owen doesn’t charge me. I just keep track so I can pay him back one day.”
“He doesn’t want you to pay him back.”
“How do you know? Are you him?” She gave him a hard stare. “I didn’t think so.”
She started the Jeep and ground the gears as she wrestled the stick into reverse.
Chad flipped open the notebook to a random page and pretended to write with his fingertip. “Transmission for 2014 Jeep Wrangler: two thousand dollars.”
She growled at him and squealed the tires as she peeled out of the parking spot.
He started a new imaginary line. “Set of four new tires: twelve hundred dollars.”
“Stop,” she said.
“Excess air from angry breathing: seventy-five cents.”
“Don’t make fun of me, Chad.”
“This is ridiculous. No one is expecting you to pay them back. Don’t you know it’s better to give than to receive?”
“I do know that. Because when you receive too much, you feel like you owe even more.” And all that debt—real and imagined—was crushing her.
“So pay it forward, angel, not backward.”
She scowled at the dense traffic that prevented her from pulling out of the parking lot.
“What are you talking about?” she snapped.
“Accept Owen’s generosity, and when you’re in a better position, don’t pay him back—give to someone else without expecting anything in return.”
“And you think I’m ridiculous.” She was too angry—or embarrassed—to see any wisdom in his suggestion. How would helping someone else repay Owen?
“I think this notebook is ridiculous,” he said, and he tossed it out the window.
“Chad! Get out and pick that up.”
“I won’t.”
“Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. She shifted into neutral before pulling the emergency brake. The car behind her honked, and its impatient driver waved toward the street, which was finally clear. She didn’t let his impatience deter her from getting out of the Jeep. The car zoomed around them, nearly knocking her over as it squealed into traffic and earned the well-deserved blare of a horn. By the time Lindsey waddled around to the passenger side and spotted her notebook, Chad had opened his door.
“Get back in the car, Lindsey,” he said.
“After I get my notebook.” She’d been keeping meticulous records for weeks.
Just as she bent to retrieve it, a foot stepped on top of it.
“Chad,” she said, beyond exasperated with him. “Get off it!”
Several cars were now honking at them to move out of the way. She offered one of the drivers a friendly wave and got an emphatic middle finger for her effort.
“Please!” she said.
“On one condition,” he said.
“What?”
“That you let me cross out any superfluous expenses you’ve tracked.”
“But you’ll think they’re all superfluous expenses.”
“Didn’t Owen pay to get your car out of impound?”
She nodded, her face flaming with a mix of embarrassment and anger.
“That’s not superfluous. You should pay him back for that.”
Mr. Middle-Finger laid on his horn again.
“Fine,” she said. She’d just rewrite everything when Chad wasn’t around.
He hopped to one side and bent to pick up the notebook. “You’d better get back in the car before that guy runs us over. I think he’s late for a drug deal or something.”
Notebook in hand, Chad settled back into the car. Lindsey blew out a breath of exasperation and then hurried behind the wheel again. She was glad for the small opening that allowed her to merge into traffic but left the impatient jerk behind them stuck in the parking lot.
While she tried to concentrate on driving back to Owen’s place, Chad scratched out line after line of her IOUs. Lindsey gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter until she thought her fingers would snap off.
“This really bothers you, doesn’t it?” Chad asked when he happened to glance up from his self-appointed task.
“Yes!”
“Why?”
“I was taught to have some pride and not to take charity from anyone, okay?”
“Are you ashamed?”
“God, yes. You have no idea. It eats at me constantly. I can’t afford to take care of myself. How am I supposed to take care of a baby?” She lifted a hand. “Don’t say it. My father already did.”
“Say what?”
“That I should have thought about that before I opened my legs.”
“Your father said that to you?”
She winced. “That was one of the nicer things.”
“I thought you didn’t have any family. You never talk about them.”
What was there to say? “They didn’t want to help me. Didn’t want to even look at me. So I left.”
“You’re sure they don’t want you?”
“I’m sure. Do you think that’s easy for me to take? Are you telling me to get lost too, that I should quit mooching off your family and try mooching off my own?” That familiar irrational feeling of having nothing and nowhere to go began to claw at her. She hadn’t felt it since Owen had invited her into his home, and she’d forgotten how frightening it was. She was shaking so hard, she had to pull the Jeep over so she could catch her breath and regain her composure.
Chad pressed the notebook he’d been desecrating into her hand. “Here. I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. I think I get it now.”
She clutched the notebook in one hand and wiped at her leaky eyes with the other.
“If keeping a running tally is the only thing allows you to accept help, angel, then you should keep doing it.”
She sucked her lips into her mouth to stop their trembling. Maybe it was stupid of her to think she could ever repay the Mitchell family’s generosity with something as trivial as cash, but she had to start somewhere. What else could she offer them? Her gratitude? That didn’t seem nearly enough.
“Can you drive a block past Owen’s house? I want to show you something.”
He stared at the dashboard for a long moment before meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”
Her grin wobbled. “Not that hard to do these days.” She took a deep breath. “I might have overreacted.”
He shook his head. “You should have clocked me, angel.”
She tapped a fist lightly against his jaw, having forgiven him the moment he’d pressed the notebook back into her hand. “What do you want to show me?”
“A way for me to shift your undying gratitude away from my bratty little brother.”
“Sounds interesting,” she said, though she couldn’t imagine what he meant. She returned the Jeep to the road and drove right past Owen’s house—where the ruined party was now being disassembled. “Are you sure you just aren’t trying to get out of cleanup duty?” she asked.
“It’s just a block and a half farther.”
He had her stop in front of the same ugly-as-sin house Owen had pointed out to her on a walk they’d taken together weeks before—back when she’d been hopeful that Owen might fall for her, before she’d met Chad. Turning her attention from the dilapidated Tudor-style monstrosity, she lifted both brows at Chad. The For Sale sign was still in the yard for a reason. “Why are we here?”
“I’m going to buy the place. Make it my home.”
She tried to smile encouragingly but could only laugh. She hoped he was joking.
