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Lindsey stared out Owen’s back door, knowing she was going to have to say good-bye to Chad in a few minutes, and that she needed a moment to pull herself together so he wouldn’t realize how much she depended on him being near. Tonight, Chad would be staying at his new house for the first time, and the thought of sleeping a single night without him against her was already eating at her. It wasn’t as if she’d never see him again, but it felt like a step in that direction. A step in the wrong direction.
Although she felt some of bitterness toward the ugly house two blocks down for stealing Chad from her, she was dying to see the inside. She’d even walked past it a few times since he’d bought it a week ago, and honestly, the place looked as terrible as the first time she’d seen it. And now it was accessorized with a huge dumpster rapidly filling with bits of wood and drywall and used toilets. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was afraid that she’d fall through termite-infested floors or get some horrible lung infection from whatever mold grew in the walls or be carried off by roaches and rats, but knowing him as she now did, he was probably just afraid that she’d criticize his impulsive decision to buy the place. Based on the listing pictures she’d peeked at online, the inside was just as bad as the outside, but it didn’t matter. She wished he understood that she’d never do anything to bring him down and was sorry she’d laughed herself silly when he’d first told her he wanted to buy the place.
He’d been so busy with the house remodel and physical therapy the past week that she hadn’t seen him much outside the bed they habitually shared. She missed him terribly and kept offering to help him fix up his house. Not because she had any skills—and with less than six weeks until the baby was due, she had no business breathing in paint fumes and standing on ladders—but because sleeping beside him just wasn’t enough. She was used to him being around. She wanted him to stick around. But she knew he had to make a life for himself. When he moved into his new place, she’d miss sleeping curled into his side even more than she’d miss the sex.
“I guess I’ll see you around,” Chad said, which startled her to turn from the backdoor.
His packed bag sat on his lap, and she felt like trying to squeeze herself inside as a stowaway so he wouldn’t leave her behind. She hated that he was in the wheelchair again. He’d been using crutches to get around unless he had to carry something—like the bag in his lap that she’d never fit inside. His prosthetic had come in, but his workouts at the gym had strengthened his leg enough that it had to be sent back for fitting adjustments, a development that both delighted and frustrated him.
When she didn’t answer him and did nothing but stare at him with her heart lodged in her throat, he added, “Don’t look sad, angel. Don’t you think it’s time for me to stay a night in my own place?”
He could tell she was unhappy, so why didn’t he stay? She’d tried to prepare herself, but nothing could have made their looming separation easier.
“Yeah, it’s time,” she said, her heart aching at thought of losing him as part of her daily life. And he was moving less than two blocks away.
“In a few days, I’ll bring you over to see the house,” he said, “but I want you to promise to stay away until I get some more things taken care of.”
“Like the roach infestation?”
He scowled. “There is no roach infestation.”
“Termites?”
“A few, but they’ve already been exterminated. I still have those sewer alligators to deal with, though, so you have to promise to keep your distance.”
“I’ll miss you,” she blurted. She bit her lip before anything else slipped out. She wasn’t supposed to let herself get attached to him. She knew that.
“I thought maybe you’d like to go out to dinner with me tonight.”
“Like a date?”
He grinned. “You can call it that if you want, or you could call it a meal.”
“Is Owen coming?”
Chad licked his lips. “Do you want him to come?”
Not really. She’d love to go on a date with Chad, and only Chad, but she hated to leave Owen out. The brothers were close, and it was good to see them together. She had the feeling that Owen had replaced Kellen’s missing friendship with his brother’s, but it wasn’t her business. She didn’t want to come between the two of them as she feared she’d been the wedge that had driven the friends apart. The whole band had imploded almost the moment she’d shown up.
“Do you want him to come?” she asked.
“Not especially,” he said.
“Me neither,” she admitted. She hoped Owen didn’t get his feelings hurt by being left out. Caitlyn had left the state for a business meeting, and he’d been more than a little needy for the past few days. Normally he’d spend his free time with Kellen, but since he couldn’t do that, he’d been monopolizing Chad’s time and even Lindsey’s.
“Then it’s a date,” Chad said. He wheeled himself to the back door. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Do you want me to drive?” Her car was in the shop, and Owen’s still had that troublesome manual transmission.
“Nope. I want to pick you up for our date at seven. I’ll see you then.”
When he left, she didn’t feel as depressed as she’d anticipated. She was going to see him again in less than twelve hours.
“A date,” she said, smiling broadly. She hated to get her hopes up, but maybe he liked her as something more than the body that warmed his bed and the hands that changed his bandages. Maybe someday he might even love her. She couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than his love.
By the time seven rolled around, Lindsey was a nervous wreck. She couldn’t explain why, exactly. Maybe it was because her relationship with Chad was evolving no matter how slowly and she liked what they already had. What if dating ruined everything? She knew she was being silly, but she’d never had much luck in the dating arena. It seemed every time she got serious about a guy, he bailed.
When the doorbell rang a few minutes before seven, she assumed it was a delivery because Chad always used the ramp at the back door. She was in the bathroom upstairs reapplying her lipstick for the fifth time, so she yelled to Owen, “Can you get that?”
A minute later Owen called up the stairs, “Your date is here.”
Why had Chad come to the front door and rung the bell? He was family and was welcome to come right in whenever he pleased. She gave her hair one last smooth-over with her hands and skipped down the steps, feeling lighter on her swollen feet than usual. God, she was a barn. Why had Chad even asked her out? He smiled up at her from the bottom of the steps, and he was standing. Using crutches to support himself, but definitely standing. He looked dashing in a button-down shirt—blue, like his eyes—and neatly pressed khaki shorts. When she stopped in front of him, she couldn’t stop herself from stepping up on tiptoe to kiss him.
“I keep forgetting you’re so tall,” she said.
“I figured you were tired of looking down at me.”
“Over me, under me, above me, beside me, I’ll never tire of looking at you.”
He bent to kiss her, taking his time to draw out the hunger between them. He slowly pulled away, but she circled his neck with one arm and leaned in for another sample. When they parted at last, she smiled at her once perfectly applied lipstick, which was now more on him than her, and rubbed at his pinkened lips with her thumb.
“Hey, kissy faces, I thought you were going out,” Owen said. “Have pity on the guy whose girlfriend is out of town.”
Lindsey almost asked him to join them if he was lonely, but caught herself before the invitation slipped out. She definitely didn’t want him to tag along. She hoped their first official date ended early. Not because she and Chad wouldn’t have a good time, but because she already had a burning desire to be alone with him in the privacy of their cozy bed.
“Why don’t you call Kellen and see if he wants to hang out with you tonight?” Chad asked.
“He’s in Prague,” Owen said with a scowl. “Which means he’s far away from me, thank God.”
“You’d be happier if you’d just forgive him for whatever he did and make up,” Chad said.
So Chad didn’t know why Owen was so angry with Kellen either. She’d figured that Owen shared every secret with his brother and now wondered if Owen had even told Caitlyn.
“Fuck that.”
“Then go play your bass,” Chad suggested. “That used to always cheer you up.”
“It reminds me of Kellen,” he said. “I’d rather rip the cabinets out of your kitchen and take a sledgehammer to a wall or two.”
“Be my guest,” Chad said, “but remember: no open concept.”
“You made your plans perfectly clear.”
To Owen perhaps, but to Lindsey he’d been entirely tight-lipped about what was going on with the house.
“You’re tearing out the kitchen?” Lindsey said.
“Nope,” Chad said. “Owen is. Are you ready? Our reservations are at seven thirty.”
“We needed reservations?” she said. “Am I underdressed?”
She’d donned her only dress for the occasion—an ankle-length turquoise shift with beadwork along the edge of the round neckline. She didn’t have many clothes. Everything she’d owned before she’d lost her job was now woefully too small. She’d lucked into some fantastic buys, including the dress she was wearing, at a new-mom’s yard sale, but the pieces weren’t really her style. She preferred shorter hem lengths and pastels.
“You look amazing,” Chad said. “And it’s not an overly fancy place, just popular. I wanted to make sure we got a table and were seated as soon as we arrived.”
So they weren’t standing around waiting, she presumed. Did he feel comfortable going to a crowded restaurant? She was honored to be his date, and happy to show him off to the world, but she knew he still had issues with the inevitable staring.
“I’m ready if you are,” she said, hoping he’d tell her if he wasn’t up for a public appearance. She’d be just as happy to stay home and order a pizza as long as he stayed to share it with her.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He spun toward the front door, using his crutches to maneuver in that direction. She had to admit that she preferred the crutches over the wheelchair too. Not because the chair bothered her—he seemed safer in the chair—but because he seemed so much happier and more confident when he was standing. And she also got a nice view of his perfect ass as she followed him from the house.
He paused to hold the door for her, and she pulled her eyes up to meet his.
“Are you checking me out?” Chad asked.
“Guilty.”
He laughed. “I’m glad I didn’t wear the baggy shorts then.”
“Me too.”
He struggled a bit going down the porch steps on his crutches, and she had to ball both hands into fists to keep from helping him. She knew that offering assistance—which he never wanted—would annoy him and start their evening off on the wrong note.
“Stairs,” he muttered under his breath. “The bane of my existence.”
“Yet you conquered them.”
“Try not to sound so proud,” he said, maneuvering toward the black sedan parked in Owen’s driveway.
“I am proud,” she said. “You amaze me.”
“Don’t be too amazed. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself isn’t my style.”
He was far better at picking himself up and moving forward than she was. And since he’d come into her life, she’d found a new level of confidence in herself. If Chad could get through his struggles, then she could overcome her much smaller problems.
“Nice car,” she said. “Does it belong to your parents?”
He gave her a look that made her question her sanity.
“I saw it parked in their garage,” she explained why she’d thought it belonged to his folks.
“They were storing it for me while I was deployed.”
“Well, it’s nice.” She examined the sleek lines and the Starfleet-like emblem on the trunk. Beam me up, Scotty. “An Acura, right?” she asked as she followed him around to the passenger side.
“Yep, it’s a TLX.”
She’d always wondered why Acuras had letters instead of real names. It made them seem cold and lacking personality. She didn’t know a TLX from a BLT, but she did know a nice car when she saw one.
He opened the door for her, and she was greeted by a red-leather interior that made her toes curl. “Sexy,” she said, a little breathless. Compared to her twenty-year-old Toyota Celica, this thing was a Lamborghini.
He smirked at her. “Me or the car?”
She ran a hand along his jaw and stole a kiss. “Both.”
“What can I say? I’m a total babe magnet.”
There was no denying that. And he was dating her. Sleeping with her. Maybe someday he’d love her. He was so much more to her than a good lay and a thoughtful friend, but she was too damn afraid of losing him like she’d lost everyone else she cared about to tell him how she felt.
She slipped into the passenger seat, wondering exactly how much bigger her belly would get in the next six weeks. Soon she wouldn’t have a lap at all, and then where would Chad put his head when she stroked his hair to help him sleep?
“You look great in my car, angel,” he said before he shut the door.
She tried not to grin too stupidly at his flattery. It was bad enough that he made her palms sweat and her heart throb. She could hide those things. The goofy grin was a sure sign that she was completely smitten. He was just getting over a particularly cruel breakup. Hard to believe Josie had dumped him only a month ago. Even harder to believe he’d only been in Lindsey’s life for a month. She felt like she’d known him since before she’d taken her first breath. Still, Chad probably wouldn’t appreciate his rebound pussy falling for him, and no matter how good he was to her, she knew it was unlikely that he’d get truly serious about the first woman he’d been with after such a terrible breakup. He and Josie had been together almost ten years, even if they hadn’t touched each other for more than a few days in the last six.
Lindsey took a deep breath and tried to locate her poker face before he climbed behind the wheel. After he opened the driver’s side door, he stuck his crutches in the back and slipped into the car beside her. She couldn’t help but notice his grin was almost as goofy as the one she sported whenever he was near and that his car had an automatic transmission.
“I’m glad I got up the nerve to ask you out,” he said, using both hands to shift himself into a more comfortable position in his seat.
The nerve to ask her out? The man had more nerve than an entire bomb squad, and it wasn’t like she had dozens of men begging for dates.
“I’m glad too,” she said. “Why did you wait until now to start driving your car again?”
“My parents put it in the shop,” he said. “To have the pedals adjusted to the left. Just got it back today.”
“So you can drive it with your left foot!” She wasn’t sure why that was such an amazing revelation for her. “Your parents are so great.”
“Yeah,” he said with a smile, “they are. I have something important to ask you later. Don’t let me chicken out.”
“Something important?” Her mind raced through possibilities.
“Not marriage or anything.”
She swallowed. That was a possibility she hadn’t even considered until he mentioned it. Was he thinking about marriage? With her?
“At least not yet,” he added, starting the car.
Yet? Surely, he wasn’t thinking of her as wife material. She was knocked up with some other guy’s baby, and she didn’t even know for sure who that guy was. Jacob’s sample had been sent off for testing, but the results were still days away. And she wasn’t sure whether Madison had talked Adam into getting tested or not. She hadn’t heard a word from either of them.
Chad made small talk about the area while he drove—he was an instant expert at driving with his left foot, apparently—and she tried to pay attention to who had owned that bar when he’d used his fake ID and what friend of Chad’s had drunk straight out of the soda fountain at that convenience store and what sports memorabilia store used to be located in that strip mall, but she couldn’t concentrate. What important thing was he going to ask her? And why had he mentioned it so early in the evening? She couldn’t enjoy his company properly if her mind was racing.
“You seem distracted,” he commented as he drove into the parking lot of a large steakhouse.
“What can you possibly ask me about that’s important?” she blurted.
“It’s just about the house,” he said as he pulled into a parking spot far from other cars.
“I haven’t even seen the house yet,” she reminded him. Well, not officially.
“You will. Now, pretend I didn’t mention it. I’m going to need you to get me through this.” He took a deep breath and opened the door, scooting out of his seat and balancing on his foot as he pulled his crutches out. She opened her door and started to climb out, but stopped when he leaned into the interior of the car.
“Don’t you dare get out of that car,” he said.
She froze, one foot dangling out her door, and twisted around until she could see him. Had he changed his mind already?
“I will escort you,” he added before shutting the driver’s door and coming around to her side of the car.
She flushed when he took her hand and helped her out of her seat.
“Thank you.” She’d never dated a man who opened doors for her or escorted her anywhere. She’d thought she’d find such antiquated manners annoyingly patronizing, but in reality, his behavior made her feel treasured, feminine, and flustered all at once.
“I’d like to hold your hand,” he said, “but I don’t think I can manage it with the crutches.”
“I can hold onto your—”
“Ass? That wouldn’t be appropriate in public, angel.”
She flushed several degrees warmer. “I was going to say arm.”
“Sure you were.” He winked at her. “But that might work.”
He actually had to slow himself down so her waddling form could keep up with him. Her back was starting to ache by the time they made it to the front door. “You need to apply for a handicap parking space,” she told him.
He scowled. “I’m perfectly capable of traversing a parking lot.”
“Not for you, for me. Why did you park so far from the door?”
“Because A, I don’t want anyone dinging my car with their doors, and B, you need the exercise. You’re out of shape. I’m going to start taking you to the gym with me.”
She groaned. She hated working out. She leaned close to his ear and said, “Can’t we just have more sex? That’s exercise.”
He laughed but didn’t tell her if he considered that a good enough workout to get her in shape. He spoke to the hostess instead. “Reservations for two under the name Mitchell.”
The hostess fixed her gaze on the empty space under the right leg of Chad’s shorts before swiveling that gaze upward and smiling warmly. “Your table is ready,” she said. She grabbed a couple of menus and dashed to a table at the far corner of the restaurant. Again with the excess traveling, Lindsey thought, rubbing her lower back with both hands.
“I owe you a massage after this,” Chad told her.
She had a few other things in mind, but she poked him in the belly. “Yes, you do.”
Heads turned as they passed through the restaurant, and an undercurrent of whispers followed them all the way to their table. Varying degrees of sadness and pity covered each face they passed. Lindsey received several sad smiles as well. She read several of those looks as saying, I’m sorry you’re stuck with him, interspersed with at least one Dear God, you’re huge. Your back must be killing you.
This was the first time Lindsey had been out with Chad anywhere but to the physical therapist’s office. People did stare. Part of her was glad he’d ventured out despite the rudeness, but part of her wanted to poke out every pair of eyes trained on his back.
He pulled out her chair and then circled around to his side of the table, leaning his crutches against the wall before flopping into his seat. “That part still needs work,” he said.
“What part?”
“Sitting. You’d think standing would be the hardest thing to do with one leg, but it’s harder for me to sit gracefully than to stand.”
“You’re still more graceful than I am at the moment.” She patted her belly.
“Your server will be right with you,” the hostess said. “Enjoy your dinner.”
Lindsey reached for her menu, trying hard not to glare at the rubbernecking man at the next table. Let them stare. And fuck him.
“You can’t go wrong with any steak on the menu,” Chad told her, flipping open his menu. “I’ve heard the chicken and the pork chops are also fantastic, but I’ve never ventured from their red meat selections.”
She wasn’t sure she could handle red meat. Her stomach was simmering with building anger, which only heightened when Rubber-Neck Man stood from his table and approached theirs.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” he said, “but are you Sergeant Chad Mitchell?”
Chad glanced up from his menu, the surprise on his face evident. “Not a sergeant any more—I didn’t reenlist—but yeah, I go by Chad. Have we met?”
“No, no we haven’t,” the man said, reaching out a hand, which Chad took for a vigorous shake. “I read about you in the paper. You’re some hero. Record number of IEDs identified and diffused.”
“The dog did most of the work.”
Lindsey had always wanted to ask Chad about his deployment, but he never wanted to talk about his past. She could tell by the current tension in his body that he certainly didn’t want to discuss his time overseas with this stranger.
“Sorry to interrupt your evening,” the man said, “but I had to come over and thank you for serving our country so selflessly and saving so many lives.”
Chad averted his gaze, his face unreadable. “I appreciate that, sir.”
“This is that local Marine, Chad Mitchell!” the man said, shaking Chad’s hand even harder and smacking him on the back repeatedly. The restaurant patrons clapped and cheered.
“Is this your wife?”
The man smiled at Lindsey, who cringed.
“No, sir. This is our first date actually.”
Chad cocked his head as he grinned at Lindsey, and heat rose up her neck. God, he was gorgeous when he looked at her like that.
The man screwed up his face as he took in Lindsey’s advanced condition. He obviously didn’t find her first-date material.
“Well, I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” he said, giving Chad another smack on the back before releasing his hand and returning to his table.
“It’s nice to be recognized,” Lindsey said, though she was seventeen shades of uncomfortable at the moment, and she couldn’t read what Chad was feeling from his expression. She needed to look up the article the man had referred to. “Why haven’t you ever mentioned that you saved a bunch of lives?”
He swallowed and licked his lips. “Because I didn’t.”
“Oh,” she said flatly. “Then why did he—”
“Not directly.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Their server arrived, halting the conversation, and Lindsey wasn’t sure if she was glad or disappointed that their tense conversation had been interrupted.
“What can I get you to drink?” the petite brunette asked.
Chad ordered a beer, which sounded almost as good as wine, but Lindsey settled on the pregnancy-safe choice of ginger ale.
“People drink that stuff on purpose?” Chad asked.
“It settles my stomach,” she said.
“You’re uncomfortable now,” he said. “Are you sorry you came?”
“Of course not. I love spending time with you.”
“You just prefer not to be seen with me.”
Lindsey blinked. “Of course, I want to be seen with you. Where is this coming from?”
“You keep glaring at everyone.”
That had nothing to do with him and everything to do with them. “Because they won’t stop staring at us,” she said in a harsh whisper.
“Maybe they’re staring because I’m so sexy.” He pretended to sweep a lock of hair behind one ear.
She grinned, some of the tension melting from her spine. “I’m not sure about them, but that’s why I stare.”
“Relax.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “Don’t worry about them. Concentrate on me. I get off on your attention.”
“That wouldn’t be appropriate in public,” she said.
When their drinks arrived, they both ordered steak. Lindsey’s stomach had settled now that she was ignoring everyone but Chad.
“When do I get to see the house?” she asked.
“I want to get all the demolition out of the way first. You shouldn’t breathe in the dust.”
“Just how much are you demolishing?”
“Just the kitchen, the current laundry room slash powder room, an upstairs closet, and the master bathroom. Widening a doorframe or two.”
“Is that all?”
“The house has great bones.” He took a sip of his beer. “Literally. I found several raccoon skeletons in the corner of the attic.”
“Ew.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve already patched up the hole in the soffit.”
She gaped at him. “You’re climbing ladders?”
“Did I say I patched it?” He grinned. “I told Owen to patch it. I guess I can ask you that important question now,” he said. “Promise you’ll think about it before you say no.”
“Why do you assume I’ll say no?”
“Just promise.”
“I promise.”
Somebody moved to stand next to Chad, drawing Lindsey’s attention from him. Their party crasher wasn’t a stranger this time. Lindsey had seen this bitch at the hospital in San Antonio.
“Hello, Chad,” Josie said, her brown eyes raking over the man she’d discarded just a month before. “You’re looking well.”
Eyes narrowed, Lindsey reached for her steak knife.
