20

Teddy opened her eyes and squinted up at her mother. ‘Go away,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to get up yet.’ Her head hurt. She squirmed a bit and the bed was hard, something biting into her left hip. It felt like a stone.

Her mother didn’t say anything. Just stared down at her, then straightened and looked around before zeroing in on her and pulling a smile across her face.

Teddy trembled under the yellow gaze, and the scene swam into focus. She wasn’t in her bed, she was lying on the ground, and she was naked. She tried to cover her nakedness but her mother saw everything, took her time looking, eyes ranging over every inch of skin on display. Her skin shrank away from those eyes, and she knew what her mother was thinking, had heard the lectures so many times, waited to hear it again.

But her mother just stood there, grinning down at her, looking her over. Teddy scooted away, and a stone scraped the tender skin on her buttock. She sat up, one arm shielding her breasts, the other hand splayed over the shaved skin at the top of her thighs.

‘It’s not what you think, Momma,’ she whispered.

Her mother didn’t answer.

‘I don’t know why I have nothing on, but it’s not what you think. I promise, Momma. I haven’t been bad. I’m not worthless, I promise. You’ll see. I’ll get dressed, and I’ll show you what I found.’ She blinked and scooted back another foot. ‘I found gold, Momma. Real gold.’ She shook her head and her hair splatted damp against her cheek. She licked her lips and tasted blood. ‘Real gold, Momma. We can use it to buy the things we need. You’ll never have to go without again. You’ll never have to sacrifice everything for me again. I’ll look after you, I promise. There’s more gold where I found that bit. Lots of it.’ Her eyes fell and she mumbled. ‘Lots of it.’

When she looked back up, the clearing was empty, her mother gone. ‘Momma?’ she said. ‘Momma?’

But the woman was gone. She must have gone home. She’d be waiting there, waiting for Teddy to bring her the gold, so she’d never have to scrape by on pennies again. She wouldn’t have to spend the rest of her life on her knees, scrubbing floors and toilets, sacrificing everything for her daughter. Teddy owed her the gold. Owed it to her. Her mother had done everything for her, Teddy saw. Had sacrificed everything, and now, if she could find the gold again, and get more, she could take it home to her mother and make everything better.

Teddy scrabbled around on the grass, mortified that she was naked. Looking down, she saw her breasts and belly were stained red. What had happened to her? Was she hurt? Her head throbbed dully but she couldn’t discover any cuts or abrasions. Giving up, she looked around for her clothes, found them strewn around on the grass, and pulled them on, tugged them on, ashamed of her nakedness. It was a wonder her momma had been smiling at her. She should have been screaming at her about her nakedness. Teddy guessed it was the gold that made the difference. Her momma wanted the gold.

Well, so she’d have it. Standing, Teddy looked around the clearing, saw the decrepit stone building, the two tents, turned and looked at the river, saw a man standing bent over in the water, his face in the rippling current. Her body locked tight at the sight of him, and a grumbling sound welled up from the depths of her chest.

It was him. He’d stolen her gold. The nugget she’d tucked away for safe-keeping. She remembered now. They’d wrestled over it. He’d forced it from her, and even though she’d fought, he was too strong, and she was overpowered.

Well, that was all right. She was a woman after all, and there were other ways of getting her gold back. A woman could be quiet and she could be cunning, and Teddy was both of those things. She’d bide her time, and she’d watch, and wait, and when the time was right, she’d get her gold back from him. And she’d make sure he never touched her again.

In the meantime, there was more gold to find. Teddy could do that. She could find more of the precious metal. Was it one of the precious gifts the wise men had brought for baby Jesus? She thought it was. Well, she wasn’t a wise man, but she could take the gold to her mother, and her mother would let her back in, would welcome her home with open arms, and she would take care of her and forgive her and they would live in the blessed presence of the Lord forever and ever, amen.

Teddy sucked the taste of blood from her bottom lip and swallowed it. The gold would make her clean, would save everything. She could feel the swirl of thoughts in her head, and tried to listen to the couple she sensed underneath them, but the great whirlwind was too strong, and she gave up. There was gold to find. The river was full of gold, if she was willing to work to find it. And find it she would. Momma was waiting for it.