SEPTEMBER 28
Four hours later, Zag pushed his way through the True Brothers’ clubhouse bar, sat at a barstool, and nodded to Bumper for his usual whiskey. Despite the things he’d done to Preacher, his body still vibrated with repressed anger. That bastard got off too lightly. He deserved so much more than the hours of torture they’d inflicted on him. Even now, Jessica and his unborn child were lying in a hospital bed—in pain—because of that piece of shit.
He slammed his bruised knuckles on the scarred bar top. Jess and that baby deserved so much better than this life. He had to do better.
His explosion made his arm throb, so he shrugged off his leather jacket to take a look at the bandage. Judging from the red smearing the inside of his jacket sleeve, the stitches hadn’t held up.
Not that he’d noticed earlier. He’d been too busy beating the shit outta Preacher.
The second Bump slid his whiskey glass to him, Zag slammed it down in one swallow and waved Bump over for another. The whiskey took a little of the edge off his pain, but he still simmered beneath the surface. He needed to get his shit under control before he went back to the hospital. The way he was feeling now, he wouldn’t do anyone a fuck lot of good. Least of all Jess.
He just…didn’t know what to think. Why hadn’t she told him? Why had she kept her pregnancy secret? Did she not want his baby? Or him?
Because he did. He wanted them both so much he ached. But he didn’t know what to do about it. What did he know about relationships? Or raising a kid?
“You all right, partner?” Reb pulled out the stool next to him and collapsed on it with a heavy sigh.
“Jessica’s pregnant.” The words spilled from Zag’s mouth the second the thought was fully formed in his mind.
Reb choked on his beer. After he cleared his throat a few times, he patted Zag on the back. “Hey, man, that’s great news. Congratulations!”
Zag didn’t look up from his glass. “She hasn’t told me yet.”
“Wait, what?”
“She told the paramedic in the ambulance. She had to’ve known for days or weeks and she never told me.”
“So…”
“If she hasn’t told me yet, maybe that means she’s not keeping it.” Zag ran a hand through his hair.
Reb paused and took a sip of his beer. “Christ, man. You sure you’re not getting ahead of yourself here?”
“No. I mean, can you blame her? She’s lying in a hospital bed because of me. And look around you. You know what I did tonight. What woman would want to get saddled with a guy like me for the rest of her life?”
“I thought I taught you better than that.” Beer sloshed as Reb slammed his drink down.
Zag just shook his head and looked away.
“Shit, kid, you gotta stop being in your head so much and start thinking with that lump in your chest.”
“Not much to think about. If she wanted me to know, she would’ve told me. But she didn’t, which means—”
Reb shook his head. “That she’s scared? Doesn’t know how you’re gonna react? That what you mean?”
Zag froze. In all honesty, neither of those scenarios had occurred to him. He’d been so wrapped up in how much he wanted this baby and how certain he was that Jessica didn’t…Of course she was scared. Christ, so was he. The thought of having to take care of a little baby had to be one of the most terrifying things ever.
But still, he wanted to. Wanted to have this baby with Jess. Even though he didn’t know the first thing about babies. Or being a father.
Then again, maybe he did. The only person Zag ever had to look up to was Reb. The guy took him in when he was still a teenager after the last time his druggie mom had beaten him up and thrown him out. What Reb saw in a punk kid like him, Zag would never know. But he owed Reb. Owed him more than he’d ever be able to repay.
Maybe he did know something about being a father. He had the best example in Reb.
“So maybe give the girl a break,” Reb said.
Zag took another gulp of whiskey, then looked at Reb. “I’m sorry for all the bullshit I’ve given you over the past few months. I let that shit get under my skin and I acted like a little bitch.”
Reb gave him a nod. “I know I was out of line for how Preacher’s expulsion meeting went down—after you claimed Jess as your woman. I just—I was going through shit with Rhonda and I didn’t want to see you tied down in a similar situation. Bullshit reason, but there you go. Obviously, I was wrong. Jessica is a fine woman. You couldn’t do better, in my opinion. But at the time I wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe something like what Jessica’s feeling now.”
“Okay, I get it. You don’t have to hit me over the head with it. Jessica’s scared. And you were looking out for me.” Zag gave him a wry grin. “Like you’ve been doing for the past twenty years.”
“Yeah, well, I should’ve realized that you could handle it. It won’t happen again.”
Zag laughed. “Yeah, it will.”
“You’re probably right. So we good? Hallmark moment over?”
“Yeah.”
Reb grunted. “Good. You figure out what you’re gonna do with Jessica?”
“Not really.”
“Word of advice: Don’t leave her alone too long. A woman alone with her thoughts can be a dangerous thing.” Reb paused and looked down at his beer. “A very dangerous thing.”
Zag knew Reb was thinking about his bitch of a wife—hopefully, soon to be ex-wife. He and Reb hadn’t talked about that night when Rhonda had dropped her bombshell about Tucker’s paternity. Not that he believed it for a minute. That bitch would say anything to make Reb hurt. Zag was just glad Reb was finally getting clear of her.
At least he’d assumed so. Reb hadn’t brought it up and Zag didn’t know how.
Instead, Zag stood and drank the rest of his whiskey in one gulp.
“You heading to the hospital?” Reb raised his head to ask.
Zag nodded. “After a shower.”
“The boys and I will head down later after we catch some sleep.”
“She’s in ICU. They won’t let anyone but family see her.” That was what he’d been told when he called thirty minutes ago. At least he knew she was resting comfortably. And still breathing.
“That’s okay. She’s not the only one we’re going there to support.”
Zag’s throat suddenly felt thick with emotion. Unable to say anything through it, he jerked his head in a tight nod, then headed for his room at the back of the clubhouse.
He had some blood to wash off before he could go see about his girl.
An hour later, Zag entered the ICU’s waiting room. His eyes immediately went to the familiar group on the far side. Jessica’s family. Although they’d initially looked up at his arrival, the older woman frowned, then bent toward her husband’s ear.
Not exactly feeling welcome, Zag took a seat on the opposite side of the room and settled back for a long wait.
Unlike his previous arrival in the hospital, this time he had a shirt on, in addition to his vest. Not that his battered heavy metal tee was any more respectable, especially with the new and oversized bandage covering up his own gunshot wound—at least judging from the looks he was getting from a few of the other people in the waiting room.
And Jessica’s family.
He felt like such a fucking pansy for avoiding them, but what could he say? Sorry I got your daughter shot? He really didn’t want that to be the first impression they got of him.
Not like there was anything he could do about it now.
So instead, he’d taken a seat at the opposite end of the room and tried like hell not to look in their direction.
Not even five minutes later, his whole body tensed as someone took the chair to his right.
The middle-aged guy from last night leaned against the arm and extended his hand. “Wayne Miller, and you are?”
Zag looked at the outstretched hand and clenched his jaw before accepting the handshake. “Zag.”
Wayne clenched Zag’s hand in a grip that was stronger than polite before letting go. “So you’re the guy who’s had my daughter all tied up in knots?”
“I, uh—”
“I’m not talking about tonight. I mean this summer.”
“I guess. I mean, we’ve been seeing each other since June.” Zag closed his eyes and mentally cussed himself out. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so thrown over a simple fucking conversation. He had to get his shit together.
Wayne rubbed at the side of his neck. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I have to say this comes as a surprise, though.”
“I—uh, which part?” Not that Zag really wanted to know. He had a feeling the answer was all of it.
“I was starting to think I’d never see the day my little girl finally got serious about a guy. Once we get past all of this stuff”—he paused to wave his hand at the waiting room in general—“we’ll have to have you over for dinner to get to know you better.”
“I, uh, yeah. I’d like that.” Zag goggled in amazement. Considering the fact Jess had never even hinted about him meeting her family, he’d had the feeling that they wouldn’t approve. But maybe that was more due to his own hang-ups—looking for slights when they weren’t there. She had introduced him to her friends.
“In the meantime, why don’t you come on over and meet the rest of the family?”
Zag nodded and followed Wayne over to the other side of the room where Jess’s family waited.
“This is my wife, Donna.” Wayne stretched his hand toward the middle-aged woman.
Zag tried to give her his most charming smile, but her pinched expression made it difficult. His guilt over the whole situation weighed down on his shoulders. Still, he extended his hand toward the woman, willing to put himself out there. For Jessica. “My friends call me Zag.”
After a beat, she took his hand in a weak handshake. “Nice to finally meet you,” she croaked as tears filled her eyes. “I had a feeling Jessica was dating someone. Now we all know I was right.”
Wayne gave a startled chuckle and turned to Zag. “She just always has to be right. But I don’t have to tell you that. It’s a Miller family trait. At least with the women.”
Some of the tension leached from Zag’s shoulders. They were treating him like an equal. Like one of the family. Instead of blame and scorn, he was getting smiles and funny asides.
But then again, maybe they didn’t know. Maybe the cops hadn’t talked to them last night like he’d assumed.
But before Wayne could finish the introductions, a nurse bustled over to their end of the waiting room. “Zag? Zag Cooper?”
His heart in his throat, Zag turned and faced the nurse. “Here.”
“Jessica is awake and asking for you.”
Relief flooded through his body. She was okay. Zag tossed a polite smile to the family, feeling a little awkward because they clearly were dying to see her, too, then followed the nurse out of the room and down the hallway.
She paused outside a door and gave Zag a quick once-over, her gaze lingering a little long on his vest and club badge. “She’s still heavily sedated, but has been asking for you every time she awakes up. Try to keep her calm. Rest is the best thing for her right now. She doesn’t need any additional stress. You’ve got ten minutes.”
Zag tried to take in all the information she just spewed, but all he could think about was Jess waiting for him behind that door. So he jerked his chin in a tight nod at the nurse, then opened the door.