CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Tony

 

Monday morning, I walked into the same boardroom I’d been in a week before. The city outside the glass window was shrouded in gray from the thunderous, dark clouds gathering overhead.

Bruder wore another sharp-looking suit that screamed money. As I sat down beside him, this time at the long table in the center of the room, I couldn’t get Cane’s warnings out of my head. How dare he try to tell me who and who not to work for? He said Bruder used people, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Cane just didn’t want me having anything to do with his life outside the club. The thought hurt.

I opened my laptop and brought up the website I’d worked hard on finishing for Bruder. As he looked over what I’d created, my eyes wandered around the room. The first time I’d been there the lights had been low, probably to show off the magnificent view of the city at night. Now, under bright florescent lights, I took in the cream-colored walls lined with artfully arranged black and white photographs of New York City in the eighteen and 1900s and the tasteful and obviously expensive furniture.

“This is just what I’d had in mind.” Bruder’s voice brought my attention to the computer screen. “I’m very pleased with your work, Tony.”

“Take your time looking it over. If there are any tweaks you want me to make, please say so.”

Bruder began clicking through the links again, this time with me pointing out the changes I could make if he wanted me to. In the end, he insisted I’d given him the best to begin with.

“I’m impressed you seem to know exactly what I want,” he said as I packed up my laptop and stood.

“If you change your mind about any of it, just give me a call.”

Bruder followed me out of the boardroom. “I’ll wire the payment directly to your account. If I didn’t have an appointment, I’d suggest lunch. I’d like to talk to you about another job.”

I paused at the elevators and turned to him.

“Oh?”

Bruder smiled. “Yes. One of my employees recently suffered the tragic loss of his wife. While he takes some time off to grieve, I find myself in need of someone to do some analytical work for me, along with some additions to the After Hours website.”

Again, I hesitated. “I am thrilled you’re so happy with my work, Mr. Bruder, but I don’t think I’ll have the time. My schedule is filling up.”

“Karl, please. I assure you, I’ll make it well worth your time.” He watched me levelly with dark eyes.

Cane had warned me off his cousin, and I frankly didn’t like the way Bruder automatically thought money solved everything, not to mention how he’d left very little physical space between us as I waited for the elevator, his big body blocking me from the rest of the hallway in a very intimidating manner.

“It’s important that I hire someone I can trust, and as I said, I will make it worth your while,” Bruder said.

I reached to the side and pressed the button for the elevator again just as Bruder named a very large figure—one that would go a long way in helping me meet my mother’s demands. But I trusted Cane.

The elevator doors slid open, and I stepped on. Turning, I replied coolly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to turn you down. It was nice doing business with you, Mr. Bruder.” The doors closed and, a little shaken, I took a deep breath. Even without Cane’s warning, Bruder had shady written all over him, and I felt in my gut I’d done the right thing.

So why did I feel so shitty about it? Probably all that money you’re giving up, the devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear. I could have made a down payment on a place for my mother back in Italy with that much money. Why in the hell did Bruder want me so much? People who did what I did were a dime a dozen and would certainly clamber over one another for the amount of money he was offering.

Hungry, I walked to a nearby deli, arriving just before the clouds that had gathered all morning unloaded a torrent of icy rain, pelting the sidewalk and sending pedestrians scrambling into shops or under the nearest overhangs.

The deli was welcoming and warm, and I ordered at the counter before taking my lunch to a table by the window and shedding my jacket. As I sat eating, I mentally went over my conversation with Bruder.

My cell phone vibrated, and I looked at the screen.

Dallas Spencer.

“Hello?”

“Tony. I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.”

I wiped my fingers on a paper napkin. “No. I’m just grabbing a bite to eat after a business meeting. How are you?”

“Damn. I was hoping you could meet me for lunch.”

“Sorry,” I said.

“That’s what I get for a last minute idea. Another time, maybe?”

I considered. I liked Dallas well enough, but did I want to go out with him again? He’d been pretty into kissing me after our date, but I just hadn’t felt a spark.

“I think I’m going to have to turn you down on that, Dallas,” I said. “I like you, I really do, but after our date, I realized I’m just not ready to see someone on a regular basis.”

The rest of the conversation was a little awkward. I hated turning people down, but I knew seeing Dallas for lunch would just give him the wrong idea. I didn’t want to sleep with him, and I knew he wanted that from me.

We disconnected, and I continued eating, staring out the window unseeingly until my phone vibrated again. Deep in my thoughts, I answered without looking at the screen.

“Hello?”

“I’m surprised you answered.”

“Mom. I don’t avoid your calls.” Often. Talking to her was just so draining, and I always felt like shit afterward.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re just so involved in your life in New York City, you can’t spare a thought for your mother.” She sounded like she’d been drinking, and I inwardly sighed. The booze made her a million times worse. “Do you know what today is, Antonio?”

Before I could think, my mother continued, “Of course you don’t. You don’t have any thought for what you did to your father. But he was the love of my life and all I can think of. Especially today.”

“Mom, have you had too much to drink?”

“Of course I have! Alcohol is all I have left, but I suppose you’d like to take that away from me too. You’re selfish, Anthony. You were always trying to take your father away from me.”

That was simply not true. If anything, she’d done her best to keep my father away from me. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but she hung up. She must have been on her home phone rather than her cell because the disconnect hurt my ear. When the screen cleared on my cell phone, the date appeared, and I sat for a long moment, guilt weighing down my heart. The absence of my father had been an ache that had been with me since the day he’d died, yet the date had crept up without my noticing.

I swallowed, mouth dry, and reached for my glass of water, wishing for the millionth time that I could go back in time and change what I had done.

 

 

 

 

****

By the time I got back to the clubhouse, I’d worked myself into an emotional mess. Parking my bike in the driveway, I walked around the house and down the small side street to the warehouse, seeking out the comforting presence of my club leader.

Inside, the place bustled between scenes. Spotting Nick, I made my way to him.

“You look awful,” he said when he saw me.

“I feel awful. Happen to know where Blaze is?”

Nick jerked his head toward the office. “In there. Are you okay?”

I smiled wanly. “Yeah.” I moved to the office door and knocked. When I heard Blaze’s faint, “Come in,” I turned the knob.

Blaze sat at his desk piled with photos, papers, and folders. Although Nick was good at his job, Blaze refused to let him in there to organize. He was on the phone and held one finger up to let me know he’d be a minute. I closed the door and sat down in one of the two old vinyl chairs.

“That’ll be good, Wallace. See you then.” Blaze disconnected and looked at me.

“That the leader of the Pistons?” I asked.

“Yeah. He’s got the rest of the money he owes us. So if you need some—”

I shook my head, pressing my lips together.

“Hey,” he said, rising from his chair. “Something the matter? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

At his words, my eyes filled with tears, and I crumbled.

“Tony?” Blaze came around his desk and crouched in front of me. “What happened?”

“My mother called,” I said hoarsely, fighting back the sob trying to get out. Her words had hurt me more than I wished they were capable.

Blaze laid his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “Is she all right?”

I nodded. “We just argued. I’m sorry. Today’s the anniversary of my father’s heart attack. She called to remind me. I just needed...” I shook my head.

Blaze didn’t know the whole story with my parents, and I didn’t want him to know. He never pressed, just offered support when I needed it.

He cupped my cheek. “It’s okay. You can always come to me; you know that. We’re family.”

I nodded. Blaze offered me tissues, and I blew my nose.

“Most of the time I’m fine. I just really miss him today.” And my mother knew how to push my buttons on the subject. Every time I talked to her was a hurtful reminder of the mistake I’d made and how she would never love me as a mother should.

“Of course you do. I miss my dad all the time. And Tim.”

I nodded again. Blaze had never known his mother but had lost his older brother, the Hedonists’ former president, just months after their father had died of a heart attack. His aunt Shirley was his only blood relative he had left, other than her son, Elvin, who was serving two life sentences in prison for murdering two cops.

I wiped at my eyes, and Blaze and I shared the silence for a while, his hand resting comfortingly on the back of my neck.

Finally, I took a deep breath and stood.

“Thanks. Sorry about that.”

Blaze pulled me into a hug I sorely needed. “You don’t need to apologize. If I can help in any way…”

“You have just by being here for me.” I hugged him hard before backing toward the door. “Thanks for this.”

“Anytime. You know that.”

I wiped furiously at my eyes with the tissue before opening the door. I looked back at him. “Really. Thanks, Boss.”

“Stop thanking me, man.” Blaze squeezed my shoulder and gave me a gentle shove out the door.

Outside his office, I came face to face with Cane, and shit, I didn’t want him to see me looking like I did. I started to walk around him, but he grabbed my arm.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

His grip tightened. “Tell me.”

I met his gaze, wanting more than anything to throw myself into his arms. I allowed him to tug me into the small room he used to sleep in and watched him shut the door. Eyes stinging with unshed tears, I looked around at the cot and chair that were the only furnishings in the room.

A gentle touch to my face made me jump.

“Tell me why you’ve been crying,” Cane said.

I shifted my gaze. “It’s…personal. I needed to talk to Blaze.”

Cane withdrew his hand, and when I glanced at him, I thought I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. I had to have imagined it.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

My eyes ran over him. He wore a faded pair of blue jeans that fit him very well and a navy button-down shirt that made his eyes look such a deep blue in his tanned face, they took my breath away. I stepped back to put space between us. My body was so aware of his presence it thrummed.

I nodded. “I will be. Um, this has nothing to do with why I’m upset, but your cousin offered me a job along with a ridiculous sum of money to do it. I turned him down.”

Cane visibly relaxed. “Thank you.”

I shrugged. “He’s a creep. I wouldn’t have taken it even if you hadn’t warned me off him.”

Cane’s eyes shuttered. “Well, good.”

“I just don’t understand why he was so intent on giving me the job,” I said.

He frowned. “Karl would like nothing better than to hurt me.”

“I have to go,” I said and quickly slipped out the door, more hurt that my working with his cousin was so abhorrent to him than I wanted him to know.