‘A zoo?’ Daisy repeated. As dates go, a zoo wasn’t bad, but they’d still not managed the traditional dinner and drinks scenario yet, because Noah seemed to be working most evenings.
‘I thought your children might enjoy it,’ Noah said.
Oh shit!
‘How old are they?’ he continued. ‘What are their names? You haven’t said anything about them, and I realise you don’t want to go introducing them to every man you go out with – not that I’m saying you go out with lots of men… Bugger! I’m doing it again, aren’t I?’ A low, drawn-out sigh wafted down the phone. ‘Why am I only like this around you?’ Noah asked. ‘I’m perfectly normal with everyone else, honest.’ Another sigh. ‘Look, you don’t have to bring them, though I would be happy if you did, but if you don’t want to, that’s not a problem either, but please come on your own anyway.’
‘Noah, I… er… I’ve got something to tell you.’ She had no idea how he was going to take this, but surely it wouldn’t be too badly. It would be more difficult if the situation was the other way around, and she had to confess to having a couple of children hidden away at home after not mentioning them before now.
Noah was strangely silent.
‘You know we keep getting off on the wrong foot…?’ Daisy began.
‘You don’t have to say any more, I understand.’
‘What do you understand?’
‘You don’t think I’m father material,’ he stated flatly. ‘And you might be right. What do I know about kids? I know a lot about their anatomy, but I don’t really know kids, like how to talk to them, or how to interreact with them.’
‘Neither do I.’ Where on earth was all this coming from?
‘Don’t keep putting yourself down. I bet you’re a brilliant mum!’ Noah said.
‘That’s what I want to talk to you about – I’m not a mum at all,’ she blurted and waited for a response. It was a long time coming.
‘Do they live with their father?’ Noah finally asked.
‘They don’t live anywhere, because I haven’t got any.’
‘I don’t understand, you said you had two.’
‘I was being flippant, and when I said I needed to get a baby-sitter, I meant for David and Zoe. To be honest, I’d forgotten I’d said it.’
‘Oh.’ He sounded rather put out. ‘Is there anything else I should know?’
‘Not that I can think of.’ She hunted around for something to lift the mood. ‘I don’t like peanut butter or Marmite.’
‘I have a son,’ he said, abruptly.
‘You do?’ That was a surprise. ‘I thought you said you don’t know how to interreact with kids.’
‘I don’t.’
It was Daisy’s turn not to understand.
‘He lives with his mother in Brighton,’ Noah went on to say. ‘I only see him a few times a year.’
Had he hoped that her “children” would help him hone his parenting skills? And was he disappointed to discover she didn’t in fact have any?
‘I do like kids,’ he added, ‘I’m just a bit awkward around them.’
‘Are you disappointed?’ she asked. The time for misconstrued conversations was over. The pair of them needed to be clear and honest with each other.
‘Yes, very,’ he said.
Daisy scowled, trying to think back to when he asked her to go to dinner with him – it was definitely before she’d told him she’d needed to sort out a baby-sitter, so it wasn’t as if he’d only asked her out to practice being a daddy on her children. She actually felt quite cross for those imaginary kids. They deserved better.
‘…and when she said she was staying there permanently, I was devastated.’
‘Come again?’
‘When Kate said she was moving to Brighton I was upset,’ he said. ‘Disappointed didn’t cover it.’
‘Kate is…?’
‘Connor’s mother, yes.’
Ah, Connor must be the son, and Kate the ex. A surge of unexpected dislike and jealousy flooded through her. Then she realised what he’d been saying; it wasn’t Daisy’s lack of offspring which he was disappointed about, it was his ex taking his son all the way to Brighton.
‘Can you come to the zoo, or not?’ he asked, and she blinked at the abrupt change of subject.
‘When?’
‘Now, of course!’
Daisy was astounded. Talk about being impulsive.
‘I suppose…’ she said. With David now more mobile and able to get himself into and out of bed, (ditto the bathroom – but she really didn’t want to think too deeply about that), Daisy’s services weren’t called on so frequently. She still insisted on doing the housework, but Zoe was gradually taking over the cooking once more, and all three of them were thankful for that, though Zoe was teaching Daisy, and Daisy was pleased with her increasing expertise in the kitchen.
‘Great. I’ll pick you up in half an hour.’ He rang off, leaving her mystified, and slightly frantic because she only had thirty minutes to have a shower, wash and dry her hair, shave her legs, put some make-up on, find some-thing zooey to wear… arggh!
By the time she’d rushed around like a total idiot, trying to make herself look as pretty as possible, she was all hot and bothered and felt as though she needed another shower. And all the while she kept thinking about his ex (girlfriend? wife? one-night stand?) and son, but she couldn’t seem to process the information.
Noah was thirty-four, so of course he had history, but the subject of previous relationships hadn’t come up, and why would it. On a first date, you don’t say, “I’ll have a white wine and by the way I’ve had x amount of boyfriends”, but she could have assumed that something as significant as having a child might have entered the conversation at some point.
The bell rang, and David went to answer it. She heard them talking shop, Noah’s version, as he asked her brother about his leg, then she trotted down the stairs and the two men shook hands and she was sitting in Noah’s car before she had a chance to think.
She sneaked a quick look at him. He’d trimmed his beard so it was only a fraction more than stubble, and his lashes were even longer than she remembered them. His lips were firmly closed, and she noticed the tension around his jaw. Though his eyes were on the road, she could tell he was aware of her scrutiny.
‘You want to ask, so ask,’ he said, after the silence had stretched for several miles.
Daisy thought carefully. Yes, she wanted to know everything about this mysterious Kate, like how they’d met, what she looked like, why they’d split up, how long had they been together, did he love her… But she hoped he’d told her about his son because he wanted their relationship to go somewhere. They had a connection, didn’t they? And the thought of her having two children herself, hadn’t put him off in the slightest.
‘What’s he like?’ she asked, genuinely wanting to know. She’d said that she wanted a man to open to her fully, that she wanted to know his heart and mind and soul. How could she do that if she didn’t get to know his child? She tried to imagine what this son of his looked like, picturing a boy of three or four, with Noah’s dark hair and bright blue eyes, and she wondered if he missed his father.
Noah raised his eyebrows and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He’d clearly been expecting her to ask something else.
‘Connor?’ His face softened. ‘He’s smart, and funny, and loves sport. He’s got a wicked sense of humour, draws like Michelangelo, and is the tidiest kid I know. Seriously, he’s a bit anal, especially when it comes to his bedroom. I swear he’s had a body swap with an alien, because he’s not like any teenager I know. Oh, and he hates Ian, and wants to come and live with me.’
Slow down, mister, what was that about a teenager? ‘How old is he?’ Daisy asked, cautiously.
‘Fifteen.’
‘Right…’ Mental arithmetic wasn’t her strong point, but she sure as hell was able to work out thirty-four minus fifteen.
‘Yes, I was young, we both were,’ Noah said.
Gone were the images of a cute little boy, and in its place were pictures of a sullen stroppy teenager, with bum fluff on his face, acne, and limbs he hadn’t grown into yet, and—
‘Who is Ian?’ she asked.
‘Kate’s fiancé. They’re getting married in a month.’ Noah smiled wryly. ‘I’ve been invited to the wedding.’ He turned his head, taking his eyes off the road for a second. ‘You could come with me.’
Daisy had no idea what to say.
‘Too soon?’ he asked.
She shrugged.
‘Okay, no problem,’ Noah responded swiftly, and Daisy had the feeling she’d disappointed him.
Tough. He’d have to deal with it. She liked him, she really liked him, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to meet his son’s mother just yet, and especially not at the woman’s own wedding. Besides, they’d only just met themselves, and this was only their third date.
‘We’re here,’ he said, as they pulled into the huge carpark at West Midlands Safari Park. He checked the time. ‘Fancy going around the safari park first.’
‘First? What happens after that?’
‘You’ll see.’ He had a smile on his face, but his eyes were sad.