Daisy spent the rest of the following day not really with it, too worried about what might be happening with Noah. When he finally did phone her later that evening, she was almost at the end of her tether. She dashed upstairs to speak to him, away from the pricked ears of her mother and grandmother and their sideways glances.
Containing her anxiety with difficulty, she asked, ‘How is Connor?’
‘Fine, I think.’ Noah sounded distant, and Daisy didn’t mean in terms of physical miles. He seemed to have withdrawn from her a little (okay – a lot). Gone was the easy banter which had peppered their previous phone conversations, and in its place there seemed to be a wary reluctance to talk, on his part anyway.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked.
‘I suppose.’
What did that mean?
‘Daisy, we – I – have had a chance to think, and I don’t believe that me living nearly two hundred miles away is doing Connor any good.’
“We”, as in Noah and Kate? And why should him living so far away bother Noah so much now? He’d lived in Worcester for years; Connor had grown up with the knowledge that his dad lived a four-hour drive away and that he couldn’t simply pop round the corner to see him. What had changed? Connor or Noah? Daisy suspected the latter.
It could be a mixture of things, like Noah finally realising that Connor wasn’t a child anymore, that his son was heading rapidly towards adulthood, and perhaps Noah wanted to have more of a relationship with the boy than the current distance would allow. Or maybe, like Connor, Noah didn’t want Kate to marry, either. Seeing her again (and Daisy had no idea when Noah had last seen his ex), may have rekindled feelings Noah had thought long extinguished.
Hope flared briefly in her as she considered another possibility. There was a chance that Noah had offered to have Connor stay with him. It might suit the newly-weds better not having an inquisitive teenager in the house. Though that scenario mightn’t bode too well for Noah and Daisy themselves, in that they hadn’t even slept together yet. What would their chances of making love be, when there was another person in the house, one who was most likely attuned to every touch, every kiss. It would certainly make things awkward, but it wasn’t impossible.
‘What are you saying?’ she asked.
‘I’m thinking of moving to Brighton.’
‘Oh.’
‘It’s not definite, just a thought we’ve been bandying about.’
‘We?’
‘Kate and I.’
Bloody hell, the way he said that, it sounded as though they were back together already. A hole formed in Daisy’s chest where her heart used to be, and the pain of it made her gasp.
‘Daisy?’
‘I’m still here.’
‘It won’t be for ages yet. I’ll have to sell the house, but the first thing is to get another job, and things like that don’t happen overnight. I’ll still be living in Worcester for a while yet.’
But your heart won’t be, Daisy thought. It’ll be in Brighton with the woman you still love, and your son.
‘I’ll be back tomorrow,’ he said. ‘We can talk then. Fancy dinner?’
Did she?
She desperately wanted to be with him, but she wasn’t sure if she could stand seeing him, knowing that he didn’t really want to be with her. And she also wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk anymore. What was there to discuss? Which estate agent he was going to use? What hospitals were within travelling distance? How seeing Kate again had reminded him of how much he’d once loved her, and possibly still did?
This was going to hurt (her, not him) but she had to decline.
‘I don’t think it’s wise,’ she said with a hitch in her voice. She tried to hide it by turning it into a cough, but the cough became a sob, and she abruptly ended the call, not wanting him to guess how much she was hurting.
Bye, Noah, my love.
She stared at her phone, thinking about what she’d just called him in her head – “my love”. And she realised that she actually did love him. It wasn’t just a figure of speech.
Her feelings for him had crept up on her and caught her unawares, ambushing her when she hadn’t been expecting it. She had no idea when it had happened. One minute she’d been normal and not-in-love, and the next she realised exactly how much he meant to her.
And now she’d gone and ended it.
How was she supposed to carry on, going to work, sleeping, having drinks with friends, when the man she loved was no longer in her life. If he ever really had been.
No, he had been, she was sure of it. The connection, the spark between them, had been real. There was no faking it, and it hadn’t simply been lust, either. Not on her side, though it might have been on his. If Kate hadn’t come back into the picture, they might have stood a chance; but she had, and Noah had laid his cards on the table.
She had no idea how to deal with this. These feelings were nothing like she’d experienced when she’d walked in on Freddie with another man. Looking back, she knew what she’d felt had been more like hurt pride and shock, rather than a shattered heart and savaged soul. Both heart and soul had been a bit battered and slightly bruised, but they had mended soon enough. If she’d really loved Freddie as much as she’d assumed she did, she never would have recovered from his betrayal so swiftly.
She didn’t think she’d ever recover from this.
How had she been so stupid as to fall in love? Her mother and nan had warned her enough times about the risks of giving your heart to a man. Look what had happened to them! Daisy really was destined to end up a lonely old spinster, and to her dismay, the thought actually appealed to her.
‘If I can’t have you,’ she sang forlornly, tears trickling unheeded down her face, ‘I don’t want nobody, baby.’
Then the sobbing started in earnest, and she threw herself across the bed, giving in to her despair.
When the knock came some time later (maybe minutes, maybe hours – she’d lost track of time), she ignored it. If her mother said, ‘Plenty more fish in the sea,’ or ‘He’s not worth it,’ or, her favourite, ‘All men are bastards and can’t be trusted,’ Daisy was going to deck her.
The knock came again.
‘Go away,’ she said, her words muffled by the pillow she held to her hot and clammy face.
‘It’s me, Zoe.’
Bugger. She didn’t want to speak to Zoe either, but after what her sister-in-law had done for her, Daisy felt she couldn’t ignore the other woman; it would simply be too rude, so she sat up, wiped her throbbing, swollen eyes on the edge of her duvet and called, ‘Come in.’
Daisy expected Zoe to ask what was wrong, to be surprised to see that Daisy had been crying, but all Zoe did was perch next to her on the bed and put her arms around her. The touch of another person, someone who cared about her, was enough to set Daisy off again, and she cried until her sobs turned to hiccups, and she felt weak and drained. And still the tears trickled down her cheeks unchecked.
Finally, taking a tremulous breath, she gently extricated herself from Zoe’s embrace. Her sister-in-law hadn’t uttered a word the whole time, and now Daisy’s meltdown was out of the way (though she suspected it was the first of many), Daisy expected her to speak.
But Zoe remained silent, until eventually, haltingly, Daisy told her what had happened.
‘He still loves Kate,’ Daisy concluded, after a long, drawn-out, rambling explanation.
‘You don’t know that,’ Zoe pointed out.
‘I do, I can feel it here.’ She jabbed herself in the chest.
Zoe stared at her.
‘Okay, I know I was wrong about Freddie,’ Daisy admitted, ‘but I didn’t love him. We didn’t have that special something, so I wasn’t as attuned to him as I am to Noah.’
‘If what you say is true, then you still don’t have that special something with Noah, because he loves someone else,’ Zoe stated.
‘That’s harsh. Kick a girl when she’s down, why don’t you.’
‘I’m not doing any kicking. You’re doing it to yourself, by assuming that because he wants to be nearer his son, he’s still in love with this Kate.’
‘He more or less said so. He kept talking about “we”.’
‘It doesn’t mean he loves her,’ Zoe said calmly. ‘It simply means they are parents together.’
Daisy heaved a large sigh. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway, because he’s moving to Brighton.’
‘You could always go with him.’
‘There’s only one little problem with that idea – he hasn’t asked me.’
‘Did you give him a chance to?’
Daisy shrugged.
‘I thought not.’ Zoe stood, and Daisy noticed how rounded her sister-in-law’s stomach had become. Her pregnancy was now obvious to anyone who knew.
‘We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks. Why would he ask me to move to another city when we hardly know each other,’ Daisy said.
‘If the connection is there, then time is immaterial. You can fall in love in a heartbeat, or you can be with the same person for years and not experience true love. Take you and Freddie…’
‘Okay, I get it, but Noah still hasn’t asked me,’ Daisy said.
‘Why don’t you call him back?’
Daisy shook her head. If he wanted her, he’d ring her. ‘What are you doing here anyway?’ she asked, changing the subject.
‘Your mother asked me to come.’
‘Why?’
‘Duh! Because you were crying your heart out.’
‘She knows?’
‘The whole street probably knows. Do you realise, you wail a lot when you’re crying?’
‘Great.’ Daisy managed to produce a small smile. It felt fake, and she wondered whether smiles were always going to be like this from now on – a pretence at happiness, a sop to persuade the world she was okay when she was, in fact, never going to be okay ever again.
‘I’ve got to go,’ Zoe said. ‘I need to go shopping.’
‘It’s eight o’clock in the evening. Shouldn’t you be taking it easy?’
‘That’s a laugh! David’s leg is still in plaster, and we’ve got no food in the house, and with me being back in work, the only time I can go is in the evenings or the weekends.’
Daisy felt awful. Since she’d started work and had been seeing Noah, she’d let her caring duty slide a little. ‘I’ll come with you,’ she offered.
‘You don’t need to.’
‘I want to.’ She didn’t, but she also didn’t want Zoe lugging carrier bags full of groceries around, either. She’d never forgive herself if something happened to the baby. ‘Give me a minute to make myself presentable.’ Splash cold water on her face to try to hide the fact she’d been crying, was what she meant. When she saw her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she winced. Red and blotchy, she looked hideous.
Oh, who cared! It wasn’t as if she would see anyone she knew – who else went grocery shopping on a weekday evening?
Melissa, that’s who.
Daisy spotted her in the chilled section of Sainsbury’s pushing a half-full trolley, and her already low spirits sank even further. If Daisy ever did the shopping (not that her mother trusted her to bring back what was on the list) she usually went to Tesco, and she’d never shopped at Sainsbury’s when her and Freddie had been together, because Tesco had been nearer. If she had even so much as an inkling that she might bump into her former friend and colleague she would never have offered to accompany Zoe. Melissa was the last person on earth she wanted to see, especially since she knew she looked like something the cat had dragged in.
She did an about turn, hoping she hadn’t been spotted, and high-tailed it to the other end of the store, where she hid in the household section and pretended to examine the toilet cleaning products.
‘You’ve got a nerve,’ a voice hissed in her ear.
Daisy jumped. ‘Melissa,’ she said, flatly.
‘You bitch!’
‘Excuse me?’ Daisy had no idea why the other woman was calling her names. Melissa still had a job and a nice little promotion to boot. By rights, if anyone should be name calling, it should be Daisy.
‘Homewrecker!’ Melissa shouted.
‘Who me?’ Whose home was Daisy supposed to have wrecked?
‘I saw you with him.’
‘With who?’ Did Melissa mean Noah?
‘Aaron’s brother. Don’t try to deny it, you were all over him.’
‘Aaron who?’ Daisy didn’t know anyone by the name of Aaron. Did she? Oh, hang on, was Noah’s brother called Aaron? She didn’t think he’d mentioned his name… She’d have to ask him. Wait, no she couldn’t ask him anything ever again, because they weren’t together anymore.
‘His wife knows, thanks to you,’ Melissa cried.
‘Whose wife?’ Daisy blinked, trying to work out what Melissa was on about.
‘You know perfectly well who.’ Melissa made no attempt to keep her voice down, and Daisy simply wanted to die of embarrassment.
‘No, really I don’t,’ Daisy insisted.
‘You expect me to believe that?’
‘It’s the truth!’
‘I could lose my job because of this.’
‘Eh?’
‘Who told you? Was it Joyce?’ Melissa demanded.
‘I haven’t seen or spoken to Joyce since I left Caring Cards,’ Daisy protested, having absolutely no idea what she was being accused of. ‘What was Joyce supposed to have told me?’
‘About me and Aaron. Don’t play dumb. I know it was you, I saw you talking to Aaron’s brother.’
‘Look, Melissa, I don’t know what you’re talking about or what you think I’ve done—’
‘Are you calling Art a liar?’
Art…? Art…? Who…? Ah! Art – the nice guy from New Year’s Eve. She hadn’t given him a second thought, until now.
A curious crowd of shoppers had gathered around them to watch the unfolding drama. Daisy spotted Zoe amongst them, and she was holding up her mobile and miming “police” at her. Daisy shook her head. She could cope with the likes of Melissa by herself.
Now everything was starting to make sense. Art and Aaron must be brothers. Well, well, well, it’s a small world, she thought. Worcester wasn’t a particularly large city, as cities go – it was more like an oversized town, and the chances of bumping into an acquaintance whenever you stepped outside your front door was quite high.
‘Are you saying that Art is Mr Dearborn’s brother?’ Daisy was pretty certain he was, but she had to check.
‘As if you don’t already know,’ Melissa spat.
‘He never mentioned his surname,’ Daisy said.
‘You had your tongue down his throat and he practically admitted he got you a job in his bank.’
Oh, yes, that. ‘It was one kiss, and there was no job.’
‘Like his brother, is he? Says anything to get into your knickers.’ Bitterness saturated every one of Melissa’s words.
‘Art only said what he did because he knew you’d helped to get me sacked.’
‘How did he know that, unless you told him?’
‘Yes, I told him,’ she admitted, ‘but only because he wanted to know why Sara was threatening to knock your brains out. I had no idea who he was.’
‘Who’s Sara?’ Melissa frowned, then waved a hand in the air. ‘Never mind, I still want to know how you knew. Thanks to you, Aaron has been forced to leave the company and his wife is out for my blood. I hope you’re happy!’
Strangely enough, Daisy wasn’t. She was shocked and surprised, but not happy. Though Melissa had got her comeuppance and Mr Dearborn had hopefully learned not to mix business with pleasure and to keep it in his trousers when he was at work, it was a pity that Daisy and the unknown Mrs Dearborn had been the hapless victims of their sordid little affair.
‘No, I’m not happy,’ Daisy said to her former colleague, ‘but you’ve brought all this on yourself. If you hadn’t been so eager to get promoted at any cost, then this wouldn’t have happened. And for your information, Joyce didn’t tell me. You did.’
‘I never!’ Melissa paled and Daisy bet the other woman was frantically going through every conversation she’d ever had with Daisy, wondering if she’d let anything slip.
‘I heard you talking to your lover the day the pair of you got me sacked,’ Daisy said. ‘I was in the toilets.’
Melissa’s already pale, pinched face turned the colour of “oh, shit!”.
‘And by the way,’ Daisy added. ‘I’m not a meek lamb. I got myself a solicitor. Thanks to you and Aaron Dearborn, Caring Cards has awarded me a substantial sum in compensation for unfair dismissal.’ And with that, Daisy rammed Melissa’s trolley out of the way and stalked past, her head held high. A cheer went up from the watching crowd.
But all Daisy could think about was Noah.