George was pleased that Stephen, the priest of the church where he practiced the organ, had spent most of that day, as he did every Thursday, baking with the ladies of the parish. The presbytery was suffused with the welcoming and comforting smell of freshly baked cakes. Tonight’s offering was a delightfully light Victoria sponge with a generous centre of thick cream and home-made strawberry jam. As it was the first Thursday of the month his mother, Christine, had sat in on his organ practice as per their agreement.
‘You really should give baking lessons,’ Christine said approvingly. ‘I’m sure you’d be oversubscribed.’
‘You’re not the first to suggest that. But unfortunately this kitchen is too small and I only have the one oven,’ Stephen replied.
‘Couldn’t you use the church hall?’ she went on.
‘No access to ovens and with more people baking, we’d need more than the one,’ Stephen reasoned.
‘What about internet classes?’ She clearly wasn’t going to let this go. ‘I can see you becoming an overnight TikTok sensation.’
‘I think not.’
‘I fail to see the point of doing it on TikTok,’ George said, entering the conversation for the first time.
‘I’m surprised you’ve even heard of TikTok,’ replied his mother.
‘You would be surprised at what I come across in my work,’ he pointed out.
This was fair enough. There was then a pause in the conversation. If George had been generally more aware of such things, he would have seen the subtle look between his mother and the priest. It was an unspoken enquiry on her part and a nod of approval on his. Whatever it was she wanted to say, which Stephen was aware of, now was the appropriate moment to say it, apparently.
‘George, I have a timeshare flat in Calpe, Spain, George. My husband, Duncan, and I have had it for over forty years. Obviously with his situation, his Alzheimer’s, we haven’t been able to visit and I haven’t felt able to go on my own. But certain things, administrative things, need attending to. So I thought I might go in a couple of weeks,’ she informed Cross innocently. He wondered why she was telling him this. It wasn’t any of his business.
‘As you know, Duncan can’t come with me but the home he’s in is quite happy for me to go. The truth is, he won’t even know I’ve gone, sadly. But I don’t want to go on my own. So I’ve asked Raymond if he would like to accompany me.’
‘I see,’ said Cross, realising in the moment that he was actually shocked at the very suggestion. The usual, uncomplicated eating of cake and drinking tea after practice had been hijacked by the kind of personal conversation with his mother he had hoped to avoid.
‘I’m afraid you don’t. Raymond has said no. That he can’t. You and I know full well what the reason is,’ she went on.
‘He doesn’t like hot climates and is quite particular when it comes to his food.’
‘Don’t be naive, George,’ said Stephen.
‘I fail to see how that response qualifies in any way as being naive,’ refuted George while at the same time failing to see how this had anything to do with the priest. George hadn’t noticed how integral a part of his inner circle Stephen had become over the years. In fact, in all of theirs – Raymond, Christine and George. Although it could be said that George had failed to notice the existence of the inner circle itself.
‘He won’t come because of you, George. He doesn’t feel he can leave you on your own. We all know that to be the case,’ said his mother.
This made perfect sense to George. But it wasn’t he who was being naive. Rather it was Christine. The truth was that Raymond probably didn’t want to go in the first place and was using him, if he had indeed articulated it, as an excuse.
‘Why are you telling me this?’ he asked.
‘Because Christine thinks a holiday abroad would do your father a great deal of good and I’m inclined to agree with her,’ said Stephen, butting in for the second time.
‘Would you speak to him, George? Try and persuade him to come with me?’
Being put on the spot like this made George realise that he was in fact far from comfortable with the prospect of his father going abroad for a couple of weeks. What if something were to happen to him? He was getting on, after all. But what really concerned him was what would he do if something happened to him and Raymond wasn’t around to talk to? This was a disconcerting thought, not just of itself, but because it was the first time he’d had cause to reflect on how much he relied on his father. It was something he’d been taking for granted all these years and now, faced with the truth of it, he wasn’t at all sure how comfortable he was with the idea of such dependence. He wondered for a moment what Christine was expecting of him in this situation. He quickly figured out the perfect non-committal response.
‘I’ll talk to him,’ he said.
This seemed to be exactly the kind of response she was hoping for, as she visibly relaxed.
‘I was hoping you’d say that. Well, I must be going. If you could speak with him sooner rather than later, I’d be so grateful,’ she ended by saying.
George didn’t offer to walk her to her car. This was because he wanted to talk to Stephen about this new situation and solicit his advice. Stephen was glad, as he wanted the chance to speak to George. He felt his reaction to the idea of Raymond’s going away with Christine was probably more complicated than he’d initially let on.
George would normally have spoken to his father, or at a stretch Ottey. Not by choice with the latter, but she had developed this annoying habit of being able to intuit when something was on his mind.
‘It would be so great for Raymond,’ Stephen began.
‘But she’s married. What about her husband?’
‘I’m not sure what you’re getting at with the first part of that remark. As for her husband, he’s being well looked after. As you know he has advanced dementia which is hard for her to deal with. He’s in a home just outside of Gloucester.’
‘Have you met him?’
‘I have.’
‘Why?’
‘I felt it would help Christine that when she spoke to me about him, which she does quite often, she knew I’d met him,’ Stephen replied.
‘What does she want? Why does she want Raymond to go with her?’ Cross asked.
‘She wants company. I imagine the last few years have been extremely difficult for her. She and Raymond enjoy each other’s company. I mean, they were married once, let’s not forget. They probably have a lot to talk about.’
Which was precisely what worried George. The one thing they had in common was him and it was natural they should talk about him, which he found unsettling.
‘Will you talk to Raymond?’ asked Stephen.
‘It’s none of my business.’
‘She, by asking you, has made it precisely that.’
‘He doesn’t want to go. Why should I speak to him?’
‘Because you said you would.’
This much was true.
‘Why don’t we talk about what’s really happening here,’ said Stephen. ‘You’re obviously unhappy at the idea of him going away. Do you know why? Is it simply the idea of him going away? Or is it the idea of your parents spending time together that worries you?’
‘It’s very presumptuous of you to say that.’
‘Are you trying to say it’s not true? If so, what are you so worried about?’
‘That is a question I don’t have an answer for,’ replied Cross.
‘All right then, here’s another. How would you feel if you knew that your father didn’t do things he wanted to do, because of you?’
‘He’s a parent. Parents are expected to make sacrifices on behalf of their children,’ said Cross a little self-righteously.
‘When they’re children, George. Not when they’re fully grown adults; middle-aged men.’
George thought about this for a moment.
‘Do you really want to be treated like a child by your father?’ asked Stephen.
‘Of course not.’
‘Well then, you have your answer. Tell him to go, George. He’ll enjoy it. But what he’ll enjoy even more will be the fact that you encouraged him to do it. He’ll love that.’
*
As he cycled home something occurred to Cross. The truth was he was actually quite concerned about being separated from his father. They had always been together in Bristol and even when he decided to leave home, he at least knew that his father was only a matter of minutes away. But he would have to ‘get over himself’, as Ottey was prone to say, and tell Raymond to go. He and Christine would have to travel by ferry and car, however. Letting his father fly was definitely a step further than he was willing to go.