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MERCY
By the time I find Chase and the two plates of food he’s saved for us, I’ve lost my appetite. He looks so pleased and eager to be helpful that I can’t bear to tell him, so I plaster on a smile and have a seat on the small cot he scored for us for the night and dig in.
“So,” he starts, after both of us have been chewing in silence for a while, “how long do you think it’ll be before you can get out to the B and B?”
I move some greens around my plate with the prongs of my fork, still deciding whether or not to eat them. They’ve never been a favorite, but after living on truck stop snacks for the last two days, vegetables of any kind would probably serve me well. “Frank said his dad offered to take me out in the morning.”
Chase swallows, brows raised curiously. “Frank?”
It’s weird to be here in Lacey and have someone not know who Frank is. “Frank Kingston. His family owns one of the largest ranches in the state. Their land sits right next to the B and B. Frank and I grew up together.”
Chase nods. “So, he’s your neighbor.”
“He was.” I slide a heaping portion of greens into my mouth. I feel guilty being vague, but I can’t bring myself to rehash history tonight. Not when it won’t even matter a few days from now, when Chase and I are back home, far away from Lacey and old neighbors.
“What time are we heading out?” Chase asks between bites.
I pause midchew. “Heading out?” I ask, my hand covering my mouth, which is still full.
“To the B and B. In the morning,” Chase reminds me, as though it’s obvious.
“Oh.” No wonder I wasn’t following. “Babe, we’re riding out on horseback. The roads are still under water. I don’t think you’ll want to join us for that.”
He looks genuinely disappointed. “Probably not a good idea, given I’ve never been on a horse in my life.”
“I’m sure we won’t be long,” I promise. “And they expect the roads to start clearing up for driving again in a day or two. Then I’ll be able to take you out there and show you.”
He nods, but I can tell he’s still bummed about it. “It’s fine. I brought my laptop. I’ll just get work done while you’re out.”
Work. I haven’t even called the office since I ran out and made a mad dash for the airport. Too late to call now, it’ll have to wait until morning. I’m sure Tyler, my assistant, is handling things just fine in my absence.
“Good idea. At least one of us should still have a job when we get back,” I joke. Sort of. I’m usually on my boss’s good side, I bring in a lot of clients, mostly through previous ones who were so happy with my services they sent more jobs my way, something I often joke gives me all I need in terms of job security. Until now. Leaving without warning means I left several clients hanging, one of whom expects her wedding to go off without a hitch in three days, which may or may not happen if I don’t make it back to the city in time to oversee the event after having spent the last year planning it. Tyler knows enough to pull it off, knows all the details that go into each wedding, but in the end, it’s my face they expect to see there, because that’s the one they trusted with the most important day of their lives to begin with.
Chase watches me, his expression turning serious. “You know, I never realized this place meant so much to you until the hurricane hit and you panicked the way you did.” He reaches out, his finger gracing my cheek softly. “How come you never talk about it?”
“Lacey?”
“Yeah, Lacey.” He glances around, as though there’s more to our surroundings than the bare walls of the pavilion we’re camping out in at the fairgrounds. “I mean, this is your home. Where you grew up. It’s your past. It’s part of what shaped the woman you are today. Don’t you think I’d want to know where you came from? How you became your brilliant self?” he teases me toward the end, but I know the interest is genuine.
“Truth is, I left all of this behind to become who I am today.” I let my gaze drop to my empty plate. “I watched my mother spend years trying to have both, be a city girl living the country life. She was never happy. Wasn’t until after my father died and she lost her reason for being here, that she found her way back to the city, back to herself. And even in the midst of grieving my father, I saw her find peace in becoming herself again.” I shake my head sadly. “I never wanted that. To be in limbo, stuck between two lives I couldn’t blend together. So, when the day came that I had to choose and I decided my future was in New York, I let go of Lacey.”
“Didn’t completely let go though, did you?” he says softly. “After all, you kept the B and B. Even after all these years, you hang on to it. That’s Lacey. That’s your past.”
I lift my gaze to meet his. “It’s my family,” I correct him. “The Rose is all that’s left of my father and grandmother. I don’t keep it because it’s a piece of me, I keep it because it’s the last piece I have of them. Not because it’s the house I grew up in.”
He nods, a small smile of surrender forming on his lips. “And I can’t wait to see it.”
I smile back. Briefly. Then a yawn that pulls at the depths of my being escapes and I have no choice but to accept the inevitable. Sleep is coming for me.
“Which side of the cot do you want? Inside or out? Because I’m about to pass out and once I do, there’ll be no waking me to move me over.”
“Inside.” He grins. “That way no matter how much you toss and turn tonight, you won’t be able to push me from the bed.”
I’d take offense, but I’m too tired.
Last thing I remember is hearing MaryBeth in the distance, offering people hot tea before bed. Whether or not anyone took her up on it, I’ll never know.
It’s pitch black out when I open my eyes again. Several seconds pass before I find my bearings and remember where I am. The last two days seem so surreal now, I’m not sure I believe they really happened. My best bet is probably to just close my eyes and sleep until daylight makes sense of things again. Only I can’t.
My mind is wide awake, reeling from everything I saw yesterday, the devastation of it all starting to process, filtering its way through my mind, one disturbing image after the next.
Forcing my eyes to stay closed in hopes of sleep is only making matters worse. I need to get up, walk it off.
Careful not to disturb Chase, who’s sound asleep and wedged against the wall, I slide my legs over the side of the narrow cot and stand up. As quietly as I can, I tiptoe my way around all the other people sleeping and make my way out into the open hall in hopes of finding some solitude.
Only the hall isn’t quite as deserted as I’d hoped. Someone else is already here, pacing.
“Wade’s snoring keeping you awake as well?” I hear his all too familiar baritone rumble toward me.
“I learned to sleep through that ages ago. Besides, it’s about ten times louder when he’s been drinking, this is nothing. Just a quiet purr in comparison.”
I get closer until I can make out his face. He’s frowning, but it fades to a grin. “I always forget how well you two know each other.”
“One weekend in the woods. Changed us forever.” I grin back. Takes genuine trust for a guy to be so comfortable with his best friend and his girl going camping alone together. With alcohol and anger fueling them on to make all the worst decisions.
“Seeing Wade naked changes everyone,” Frank says dryly, but he follows it with a chuckle.
“You know he came into the bathroom after you this evening?” I shake my head. “Used the urinal right in front of me. Like I wasn’t even there. Actually, not true. He knew I was there. Was talking to me the whole time he was peeing.”
“As I recall, you always wanted to be treated as one of the guys. It’s about a decade later than you hoped, but hey, it finally happened.” He pinches my side as he teases and I curl up, fighting a giggle. I’m guessing sound travels pretty well around here and I don’t want to wake anyone who’s actually lucky enough to be sleeping right now.
With my own quiet, the silence of the building seeps in as well. Neither of us says anything, we just stand here, in the darkness, staring at each other. As if we’ve both only just remembered who we are to each other now, and why we’re not the same kids who knew each other’s every thought and desire before the other even spoke it. This familiarity we keep sinking into, it isn’t real. It’s just a flash of memory we both still share.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I whisper, unable to break my eyes from his.
“We’re not doing anything,” he counters, but his tone gives every indication he knows exactly what we’re doing.
“You know what I mean,” I insist, unwilling to let this go and give him the easy way out, the oblivious way, where he pleads ignorance to everything we don’t put into words, as if that somehow erases the truth and the inevitable hurt that has no choice but to follow. “This. The way we’re talking...teasing...like we’re still...”
“Us?” he finishes for me. I nod. Then his face hardens. “We’re not. And I’m not about to get confused about that just because we’ve found a bit of common ground to exchange pleasantries on for the sake of keeping things civil between us while you’re in town.” His eyes turn dark as they continue to pierce me with such intensity, I swear I can feel the burn of it in the pit of my stomach. “You shouldn’t either.” Then, he pivots and leaves the way he came, leaving nothing but the echo of his footsteps and my pounding heart in his wake.
––––––––
FRANK
My knuckles are white by the time I step outside and unclench my fists. I curse under my breath, furious with myself for letting it come to this. Feeling this. Mercy Rose used to be an ocean running through me, ‘til the hole in my heart grew so big, every last bit of it dripped out. I’ve been dry ever since. Problem is, with drought comes death, and I don’t think I realized until a few minutes ago just how dead inside I’ve let myself become.
“Must be true then.” I look up at the sound of my sister’s voice. “Mercy Rose really is back.”
“What are you doin’ here? Do you know what time it is?” I gesture out toward the endless black that surrounds us, in case she missed the fact it’s the middle of the night.
“Of course I know what time it is. I own a bar. I close down every night at this time.” She comes within a few feet of where I stand and stops, holding a brown paper bag out in front of her and dangling it back and forth. “Wade called in an order for wings about three hours ago. Told him they’d be cold by the time I got ‘em here, but he didn’t mind. Said he’d eat ‘em for breakfast.”
I roll my eyes, trying not to laugh. “I don’t know which one of you is worse. Him for putting in an order for takeout when half of town is flooded, or you for actually delivering.”
She shrugs, grinning. “Delivering usually leads to a tip.” She wiggles her brows in a suggestive manner that still turns my stomach a bit.
“No. Don’t do that. I don’t wanna know about you and Wade...and whatever it is he does that makes you do that with your face,” I say, waving my hand at her, trying to make her stop.
“Smile, you mean?”
“No, I mean that dirty little dance your eyebrows do while your eyes get all glossy thinking about him.” I feel my face knot up in a scowl just thinking about it. “Look, I can accept that you and Wade are—”
“In love?”
“Call it what you want. Just don’t come around here trying to gross me out with all the sordid details of it.” Things used so be so simple between us. I was the older brother and she was the baby. Picking on her was just part of my job. Then, she grew up, started dating my best friend, and somewhere along the way wound up with the upper hand where winding each other up is concerned.
“You know what might motivate me to shut up?” she taunts, tipping back and forth between the toe and heel of her boots.
“I know you’re gonna tell me.”
“If you start talking instead.” She stops her swaying and leans in, an expectant gleam in her big brown eyes.
“Nothing to talk about.”
“Liar.” She cocks a brow at me, gaze dropping toward my hand, which I notice too late is still balled into a fist. “You’re all wound up over something and I’d be willing to bet, the answer comes in a sweet, three letter word.” When I say nothing, her eyes widen and her mouth opens as if in slow-motion, before she says, “Red.”
“I hate that you and Wade are one of those couples who talk about every damn thing,” I snarl, kicking at the dirt with my boot, “but fine, if you must know, yes. She and I have crossed paths a few times, and maybe I’m not handling it as well as I would like.”
She steps in closer, eager to hear more. “What happened? Did you kiss her?”
“Wha—? Are you insane?” I retreat, putting back the distance she just closed between us. “No! I didn’t kiss her. We’ve barely strung together more than a few sentences in passing.”
Esther is genuinely disappointed. “Oh.” She twists her mouth back and forth the way she’s done ever since she was little when she was having a hard time understanding something. “You’re going to try and win her back though, right? I mean, now that she’s here. Back in Lacey. It’s...fate.”
“Have you lost your ever-loving mind? It is not fate, it’s a goddamned hurricane. So, no. I have no intentions of winning back Mercy Rose. As a matter of fact, the only thing I intend to do from now until the moment she runs out of town again is stay the hell out of her way.”
My sister smirks, which isn’t exactly the reaction I was going for. “That’s gonna be hard when you’re the one taking her out to see The Rose come morning.”
“I’m not. Dad is,” I correct her smug little ass.
“Guess again. Mama told me to tell you he can’t make it. With all the craziness going on, looks like Firefly may foal early. So, he’ll be glued to her stall until further notice.”
I shrug it off. I don’t see how this is my problem. “So Mercy will just have to wait.”
“Yeah.” Esther nods, but I can tell she’s faking it. “Of course, the longer she has to wait, the longer you have to avoid her. Not exactly going to be easy while everyone’s camping out at the fairgrounds. Hell, even once people start going back home, you’re likely to keep crossing paths with her. Small town and all.”
I scowl at her. “You’re a real brat. I don’t know what the hell Wade sees in you.”
“Wade sees me naked.” She punches my arm as she walks by me on her way to the door to finally make that late-night wing delivery. “Quit being such a weenie and stop fighting your fate.”
“For the last time, it was a hurricane.”
Esther pauses at the door, holding it open before she slips inside. ‘Yeah. Hurricane Rose.” Then she winks at me and disappears, door swinging shut behind her.
From Online to Forever
Chad and I have been together for eleven years, and sometimes I struggle to believe we actually met online. I'm so grateful my friends encouraged me to be brave and give an internet guy a chance. He flew to Indiana, to meet and spend a week with me. I was so nervous to meet him at the airport. I was sitting in a chair, and I was making my friend look for him. There was a pole by the chair, so I knew I was hidden. My friend would see him, before he saw us. Well, my friend told me he was coming. I peeked around the pole, saw him, and I instantly began to panic. I couldn't even stand. So he walks over. We are all saying our hellos. I am mentally willing my body to unfreeze and stand. All of a sudden, he steps towards me, steps on my toe (LOL), leans down and kisses me. A lingering, sweet, electric, kiss on my lips. It ignited flames in my soul, I unfroze, stood and hugged him. That kiss melted my fears, and we've been together since. Still going strong, the flame that kiss ignited still burning.
~ Jules