Chapter Ten

NEW BEGINNINGS

AFTER THEY TOOK RUDY TO Annie, Jacob led Faith to the river. He liked the calming sound it made.

“I’m worried about Rudy,” she told him. “His cries sound like something is hurting him, and I’m seeing blood in his stools. I asked Lena and Annie about it, but they are at a loss as to what it could be.”

“Do you think it’s serious?”

“I don’t know, but it seems to be getting worse, instead of better. I’ve tried my best to take good care of him.”

“Whatever is wrong, it’s not your fault, Faith. You’re taking excellent care of him. No one could do better, but I’m glad you told me. We’ll pray it’s not serious, and he’ll get better soon.”

She nodded, and he put an arm around her shoulders. They stood side by side looking into the darkening river. Dusk had fallen. He’d brought a lantern, but he hadn’t lit it yet.

“I like talking with you and being with you, Faith.”

“I enjoy you, too,” she said quietly, as if she were unsure she should say it at all.

“You can always tell me how you feel or what’s on your mind. I want us to be completely honest with each other.”

As he said it, he realized he needed to tell her about his relationship with Lucille, or lack of relationship, as the case might be more appropriately labeled. If things went well, he would ask her to spend the night in his tent next Saturday or Sunday night, and he’d explain everything to her after that.

He pulled her around and wrapped his arms around her. She nestled against him just right. He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. It had gotten too dark to tell what she might be thinking.

He lowered his lips to hers and slowly began to kiss her. She tasted sweet, and, when he inserted pressure with his tongue, her mouth opened to his. From that moment on he lost himself in the kiss. He forgot how he’d planned it out; he forgot he’d intended to take it slowly. As she responded to him, his passion rose.

She pulled back first, but he still held her, and she didn’t pull out of his arms. Her breathing had grown as heavy as his, and she held on to him as if she needed him for support.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you,” he said, as he lightly brushed two fingers over her lips. “I’m afraid I got carried away.”

“No, you didn’t hurt me. I’m just filled with emotions I don’t understand. You’re the first person to ever kiss me, except for my parents, when I was little.”

“I’m glad I could be the first. There’s something special growing between us, and it excites me beyond words.”

He felt her tense. “What’s wrong?” he asked her.

She hesitated, but she eventually answered him. “I don’t know anything about the physical side of marriage. I’m afraid I won’t know what to do, but I want to please you.”

“Oh, Faith, don’t be concerned about that. I promise you everything will be just fine. You told me you had never kissed a man before, but you responded to me beautifully. It took my breath away. Just like you automatically knew what to do when I kissed you, you’ll naturally know what to do when we come together as man and wife. And I’ll guide you. You trust me to do that, don’t you?”

He could barely see her head nod in the darkening dusk. She must have wondered if he had, because she said, “Yes, yes I do.”

He lit the lantern, wrapped one arm around her waist, and they started back. Now that he had the light, he could see her face. Her eyes were filled with a soft emotion. Could it be love, or had he aroused her that much? He would welcome either one.

He asked her to spend the night in his tent when they neared the camp. He hadn’t planned to ask her that tonight, but things had moved faster and farther than he’d planned. The words had come out almost of their own accord, and he couldn’t deny his growing feelings for Faith any longer.

“It might be better, so I won’t keep worrying about it.” She looked embarrassed, but something stirred within him, and he definitely couldn’t wait any longer.

He’d planned to have his tent prepared for her with clean linens and maybe some flowers, but that would be impossible now. She was nervous and almost trembling by the time they returned, so he led her directly inside. He knew any waiting would make matters worse for her, and he didn’t want a delay at this point either. He’d planned to test her with his kiss and hopefully encourage her feelings for him, but, in truth, that kiss had done something to him. He’d never had a kiss affect him so much, and he’d had his share of kisses.

He turned the lantern down as low as possible, so they barely had light to undress, but he instinctively knew she’d prefer that. They both undressed at the same time. She didn’t wear a corset or layers of petticoats like Lucille had. She wore only her chemise, drawers and one light petticoat underneath her dress. With her undergarments still on, she slid underneath the covers and took them off there. He completely undressed and slid in beside her. He helped her pull off her chemise.

She tensed when he pulled her into his arms, but, when he began to kiss her again, he soon felt her relax. In the soft light, he could barely see her dark hair fanning over the pillow like fine strands of licorice. She was so pretty, and he became acutely aware of what a lovely figure she had, not as voluptuous as Lucille’s, but still curvaceous in a more slender way. She was perfect.

When Faith moved beside him, he awoke. Morning had begun to lighten the tent. Faith pulled on her undergarments under the covers. He would have liked to tell her to wait, but they needed to get up, so they’d have time to hold their devotion, eat breakfast, and start the day. He knew they needed to get some of the things in their wagons sorted through.

“You were wonderful,” he told her and meant it. She’d responded to him in a way he’d only dreamed of.

She lowered her eyes, but not before he saw the joy in them. His heart quickened, and he felt the last hunk of ice melt and fall away.

He kissed her gently and pulled away before his passion grew. It didn’t take much for that to happen with her. He rubbed the back of his hand down the side of her face, and she looked into his eyes.

“You make me so happy,” he said, hoping she could see the truth of the statement. He knew she needed affirmation that she had pleased him.

“You make me happy, too,” she said and smiled shyly.

It took all his willpower not to lay her back down, but it would be too soon, and they had a lot to accomplish this day. They’d better get at it.

He hurried into his clothes and out to start the fire for her. She had shown him how to put some hot coals into a hole covered with a cast iron lid each night, and it made starting the fire so much easier each morning.

Thank Thee, God, for giving me this wonderful woman. I feel Thy blessings poured out and overflowing, and I marvel at them. Never have I imagined anything this amazing, and I thank Thee from the bottom of my heart.

They worked on the wagons after breakfast. Jacob pulled out all their food and utensils. He consolidated some of the supplies to take up less space. He also sorted through and organized all the tools. Anything he didn’t think necessary to the trip or his farming, he set aside.

Faith went through Lucille’s things. He could tell she had mixed feelings about taking any of his first wife’s things, but he assured her he’d never seen most of it, and it wouldn’t bother him for her to wear them. She’d probably have to do some minor alterations, but he already knew she could sew well.

She discarded all the silks, except one new dress that had never been worn. She kept the most practical cotton ones. She kept all the new cotton undergarments but threw out all but one of the corsets. When she’d finished, she had condensed three trunks into one, but she also had a pile she planned to rip up for the fabric.

“I’ll just rip the skirts off them, fold them flat, and they’ll fit in the bottom of the one trunk,” she said. “I’ll also keep the buttons.”

He didn’t know how Faith could accomplish as much as she did and still take care of Rudy. He seemed to be crying more and sleeping less. Jacob stopped and said a prayer for his son. He prayed God would heal whatever was wrong and make the little fellow strong and healthy.

“What is this?” Jacob asked when he came to some damp roots wrapped in a small canvas package.

“That’s my rose cutting. Mama loved roses and she planted them all around our house. I took one cutting of a pretty red rose to Kentucky. When we left there, I dug up a root to plant in California, but now it will be in Oregon. I’ve also got some vegetable seeds for a garden.”

“That’s good. I’ve got some seeds to plant the fields with, too.” Now, if he could just get some work done, instead of daydreaming about his wife.

To Jacob’s surprise, Iris Bates came by. He thought she’d been Lucille’s friend, not his, and he didn’t care for the woman’s loose ways.

“I’m very sorry to hear about your wife,” she said. “I was sick at the time and didn’t learn about her death or your remarriage . . . ” She paused and gave Faith a cutting look. “ . . . until I recovered enough to get out. I couldn’t believe you’d married so quickly.”

“I needed someone to take care of my son, and Faith had no one left, so the council thought this would be for the best. As it turned out, they were right.” He gave Faith a knowing look.

Iris inched closer to him. Too close. “I would have been glad to have married you if you’d just asked.”

Jacob fought a shudder. “That wouldn’t have solved Faith’s problem of being all alone, and I felt Faith would make an excellent wife and mother.” Hopefully, Iris would read between the lines.

She stood for a few minutes, but when Jacob didn’t say anything, she huffed and turned to leave. “You should have at least introduced us,” she said over her shoulder.

He shrugged. He’d prefer Faith stay away from this woman, and he certainly hoped Iris would stay away from him.

 

 

Faith watched the pretty woman leave in a huff, but she couldn’t help but smile. Jacob had not appreciated the woman’s flirting, and he’d pretty much told her that he knew Faith would make a better wife.

She leaned back and took a moment just to watch him. She loved to look at the handsome man she’d married, and it pleased her that he treated her so well. She couldn’t understand how his first wife could resist him, but, from all she’d learned, the woman must have. Faith’s heart swelled just thinking of him and her pulse quickened every time he came near.

He did dozens of things every day to make things easier for her, but she knew he couldn’t have named them. He did them naturally as a part of who he was, and she loved him for it. She’d certainly never experienced anything similar in Kentucky.

For so long, she’d methodically hammered out her chores on the nail heads of mornings, noons, and nights. Now, however, joy mixed into it all. Much of this trip had been drudgery, but that didn’t hold true with Jacob around.

She didn’t have to be quiet or watch what she said around Jacob. She could actually say the things that crossed her mind. Her mother and father used to lovingly tease each other, and she hoped she and Jacob could be like that, too. They were already growing close.

She’d almost told him how much she loved him last night, but he hadn’t said the words to her yet, so she held back, too. But, he had shown her he loved her. She smiled at the memory. They had truly become one last night, and she’d liked it, but would Jacob think her a wanton if he knew her thoughts? She didn’t know how to begin to tell him how she felt. These feelings were so new, and she hardly knew what she thought herself.

How could she have come to love him so much in just a few weeks? It made no sense, but fairy tales were made of this very thing, and she thanked God for it. After all, Jacob was her husband.

She got up to start supper. “Oh, here are a diary and some letters that came from Lucille’s trunk.”

Faith handed Jacob the items. He took them and put them to one side, as he continued to work.

She’d already cleaned and cooked the extra rooster, and she would make chicken and dumplings mountain style, one of the special milk dishes she had promised Jacob. She smiled when she imagined what he would say. He was easy to cook for, because he praised everything. She hadn’t been used to such praise, or any praise, for that matter, not since she’d lost her parents.

Her uncle and aunt had never mistreated her, but never once had they told her she did something well or thanked her for anything she did. In fact, they’d acted as if she didn’t exist most of the time. They’d only spoken to her to tell her to do something or explain how they wanted it done. A blessing had come with that, however. She’d learned the skills it would take to be a helpmate to Jacob, both on the trip to Oregon and in working a farm there.

Her husband made her feel able and competent in so many ways, something she hadn’t felt since she was ten. She thanked God for giving her such a husband. He was right for her in so many ways, and, after last night, she thought she might suit him, too. She felt her face grow warm from the memory.