J.T. WOKE TO DARKNESS and a rumbling in his stomach. Oh, yeah. They’d forgotten dinner.
Again.
He grinned as he eased himself from the bed. No point in waking Lyddie if he didn’t—
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
Her voice surrounded him but he didn’t see her.
“Lyd?”
“I’m outside,” she called. He pulled on sleep pants and followed the sound of her voice out to the porch where she sat on the glider, wrapped in a fleece throw. She made room for him, snuggling against his side when he sat. He pulled her close and breathed her in for a long moment.
“Been awake long?”
One shoulder bumped against his ribs as she shrugged. “Maybe fifteen minutes.”
“Thinking about Sara?”
“Actually, no. I was thinking about you.”
“Good stuff, I hope.”
“Mmm, very good.” Her hand crept along his chest. “You’re half-naked. Are you cold?”
“If I am, can I share your blanket?”
“Nope. I’m a selfish wench. Besides, I’m all naked, and if you get under here I’ll get distracted. And I really should take a break and get something to eat.”
“Excellent idea.” But of course, neither of them moved.
“J.T.?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you expect anything like this?”
Hope flared within him. Could she be realizing there was more than just awesome sex building between them?
“No. If someone had told me that I would end up having the time of my life during a summer I was sure would kill me...huh. I would have laughed in their face.”
“Me, too.”
He didn’t dare intrude on her thoughts, not when they seemed to be heading in his direction. He was content to hold her and hope she could figure out that some people went their whole lives without feeling what they shared.
Most of all, he hoped she figured it out soon.
“J.T.?”
“Mmm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, babe.”
She took a breath and pulled the blanket closer around her. “What happened that night? I mean... You don’t have to tell me, but...” She gave her head a little shake, a barely perceptible movement in the darkness. “The fire. Glenn never talked about it.”
No surprise there.
His first instinct, just as it had been all those years ago, was flight. But this time was different. This time he had Lyddie to hold.
“Okay. First thing you have to know is, probably everything you’ve heard about me back then is true. I stole. I lied. I wasn’t a bully, I never set out to hurt anyone, but most other stuff was fair game.”
“No virgin sacrifices?”
He nuzzled her hair. “Only my own, babe. Anyway, there was this tradition that after graduation, the kids would do something wild. Kind of a senior prank. One year they TP’d the school. Another time they stole all the forks from the cafeteria and used them to spell out Comeback Cove on the school lawn. That kind of thing.”
She made a little sound of encouragement. He tucked her tighter against him and stole a corner of the blanket.
“When it was our year, everyone expected me to come up with the plan. I decided we would have a sleepover in the Old Village. I knew a way to sneak in from when I worked there the summer before. So once they cut the cake and finished the speeches, a bunch of us grabbed our sleeping bags and got ourselves inside.”
“It was all authentic buildings, right?”
“Yep. All houses and stores from a couple of hundred years ago, moved here from miles around.” And God, that still hurt, thinking of what he had helped destroy. “When I screw up, I don’t hold back.”
Her hand was warm where it cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me, too.” He turned her hand, kissed the palm. “Anyway, we were all there having a good time. A couple of the guys had brothers old enough to buy us a few bottles, and we sure as hell took advantage of them that night.” That, at least, was a good part of the memory. Just him and the guys, hanging together, getting totally wasted in a way that was totally irresponsible, but made for some damned good times.
“That was about it. A bunch of guys, drinking, smoking, shooting the—the breeze. Then I left them for a while.”
“Out for a breath of fresh air?”
He hesitated, not certain how much further to go. There was only one person in the world who knew the rest of that story, and she sure as hell wouldn’t want this part known.
But this was Lyddie. Lyddie, who he wanted for the rest of his life. If ever there were a person he could tell, it would be her.
He was omitting Glenn’s name. He could leave this one out, too. Lyddie would never know.
“No fresh air,” he said at last. “I was meeting someone. We’d set it up earlier that night.”
Her voice was warm and indulgent. “Let me guess. A girl.”
“Right in one.”
“No surprise there. So some lucky gal decided to have her own forbidden celebration, huh?”
Actually, the girl in question had been acting more out of spite, spurred by a fight with her jealous boyfriend. He’d known it even then. But a kid at his sexual peak wasn’t up to thinking too clearly when offered the chance of a lifetime.
“She met me in the building next to where my buddies were. She brought wine. Not that I needed it by that point, but I think she thought that was what you were supposed to do. So, we had a glass. Real fast. And then we got down to business, so to speak.”
For the second time that night, she smacked his arm.
“You know, if you hit me again it’s gonna leave a bruise.”
“Then I’ll kiss it and make it better. So what happened then? That wasn’t your first time, was it?”
“No. It would have been, but we didn’t get that far. Came damned close, though.”
“If she changed her mind, she was a fool.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Thank you. No, she probably would have followed through, but we were interrupted.”
“The buddies came looking for you?”
“Nope. The buddies ran screaming out of the building next door, two steps ahead of the fire.”
“Wait a minute.” She pulled away from him, astonishment clear even in the dim light. “How did the fire start?”
“Matches, a few joints, an old building and a bunch of kids too plastered to stay safe.”
“No, I mean—you weren’t even in the building when it started?”
“Nope.”
“So you had nothing to do with it?”
“I had the idea to go there. I got everyone inside. I knew what they were doing. I’m not innocent, Lyddie.”
“Okay, no, but you weren’t— How did you end up taking the blame?”
“I stayed back a minute. Made sure all my buddies were out. And I had to wait for my, uh, companion to get her clothes on.”
“You were that close?”
He pulled her warmth back against him. “Close enough that for years, I had to check for smoke before I could put on a condom.”
She snickered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh.”
“S’okay. I hate to think what it did to her.”
“You never saw her again?”
“No,” he lied. Telling that particular truth wouldn’t benefit anyone. “Anyway, we got out and were almost off the grounds when she remembered her ID bracelet. She’d left it in our building.”
“Don’t tell me you did the hero thing and went back for it.”
“I had to. The fire was spreading, but in the other direction. I wasn’t in any danger. But when I got back to the spot in the fence, all the others were gone already. Running home as fast as their drunken legs would take them. The only person I saw was Harley Prestwick, running toward the flames.”
“Oh, my God. So you were the only one they could pin at the scene.”
At least he hadn’t had to spell that part out for her. “I knew I was dead meat. I was the one with the reputation. The other guys might have tried to protect me but they couldn’t deny I’d been there. They had no idea what I was doing when I wasn’t with them.”
“And the girl?”
He snorted. “They could have put her on the rack and she would never have admitted to being there with me.”
“So you ran. And no one ever stood up for you? None of them stepped forward?”
“People do stupid things when they’re afraid.”
“But—”
“Lyddie, we were seventeen, eighteen years old and dumber than dirt, but we knew when to keep our mouths shut. Some of them had to stick around for grade thirteen. The others were getting ready to leave for college.” Like her future husband. “I was gone before morning. There wasn’t enough evidence to press charges. From their point of view, letting me take the heat was the best course possible. I would have done the same thing.”
“No, you wouldn’t. I might not know all the details of your life, but I know that you’re decent and brave and far too honest to ever do that to someone else.”
Was that what she saw when she looked at him? If so, then it had been worth the risk of telling her.
“Thanks,” he said softly. “But I wasn’t always such a paragon.”
“Bull. Those traits don’t come from nowhere, J.T. They were in here all along.” And she rested her hand over his rapidly beating heart.
He kissed the top of her head, filling himself with her. Then he tipped his face to the stars and sent the most heartfelt wish of his life to each and every one of them.
* * *
LYDDIE SPENT MONDAY eyeing every local man who seemed to be about the right age, trying to decide who else might have been at the fire. If any of J.T.’s so-called friends were still in town, she wanted to know who they were. Not that she planned to do anything with the information. J.T. was right: the past was the past, and she could certainly understand why a scared adolescent would keep quiet. Still, she wasn’t sure if she could find any sympathy for a grown man who continued to let someone else take the heat.
It wasn’t until closing time that she realized she didn’t need to keep giving all the men the once-over. She had Nadine. Nadine, who had worked in the school cafeteria all those years and lived here her whole life. If anyone could guide Lyddie in the right direction, it would be her. But no sooner had she locked up than Nadine was in her face.
“Lydia Brewster, what the hell is going on around here?”
Okay. So Lyddie wasn’t the only one who’d been waiting for a moment alone together.
“What is this, Nadine, Jeopardy!? Because if so, the answer is, ‘What is the problem?’”
“Here’s the problem. Something’s going on in this town and I don’t know what’s behind it. And that bugs the hell out of me.”
Lyddie grabbed a half-empty coffeepot from the counter and shouldered her way through the swinging door to the kitchen. “Geez, Nadine. You have control issues, you know that?”
“This isn’t about me.” Nadine was right behind her with a tray of mugs. “But something isn’t sitting right. Have you noticed that Jillian hasn’t been in lately?”
Huh. Come to think of it, it had been a few days since either of the Royal Couple had made an appearance in the shop. “It’s summer. They might be on vacation.” But even as she said it, anxiety curled in her stomach.
“They’re not. They’re just avoiding this place. Avoiding me, too, when I pass them on the street.”
“And you’re complaining?” Maybe if she made a joke about it, she could convince herself that there was nothing to worry about.
“Hell, no. That part I can live with. But here’s the thing, Lyddie. A whole lot of other people have been making a point of talking to me. Seems they all want me to know that J.T. has supposedly been spotted paying close attention to a string of tourists, if you know what I mean.”
Thank God for the steam rising from the coffee Lyddie was dumping into the sink. Not only did it hide her face, but it also gave her an excuse for the coughing fit that struck from nowhere.
J.T. and tourists? Oh, hell. She didn’t believe it. Not for a second. Not only had he spent all his recent nights with her, but she was pretty sure there was no way he would have the energy to leave her as limp as he did while doing someone else in the daytime.
But if people were telling Nadine about these supposed dalliances...
“At first I thought folks were just sharing the usual gossip and slander, but then I thought, y’know, I don’t usually hear the same story from so many folks so close together. So I said to myself, ‘self, people are telling me this for a reason.’ And there was only one thing that came to my mind.” Her hand settled on Lyddie’s shoulder. “Honey. You and J.T.? Really?”
Lyddie froze.
“Ah, hell.” Nadine took the pot from Lyddie’s fingers, clunked it on the counter and reached to turn the water off. “How did I miss this? I must be getting old. Maybe I should retire. Can you get someone to take my shift tomorrow?”
“For heaven’s sake, Nadine, get a grip. You’re going to outlive all of us.”
“I don’t know. I’m losing my touch.”
“What if you’re not losing anything? What if you’re just plain wrong?”
“Wrong?” Nadine snorted and leaned against the butcher-block island. “Okay, Lyddie. Look me in the eye and tell me you aren’t rolling in the hay with J.T.”
Lyddie tried. She stared at Nadine and tried to stay sober, tried to think of boring things like shopping and washing dishes and interminable sermons. But shopping made her remember J.T. buying the test. And dishes made her remember the way he’d dabbed soap suds on her neck the other night, then slowly toweled them off. And sermons made her remember exactly what she’d been doing last Sunday when she would normally have been in church. And before she knew it, Nadine was sitting back with an annoyingly satisfied smirk on her face.
“Sit down and tell me everything.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” Lyddie sat anyway, if only because her feet hurt. “But I have some questions of my own.”
“Uh-uh. Not until you give up some answers.”
“Nadine—”
“Nope. It’s tit for tat, or nothing at all.”
“I should dock your pay for this.”
“Go ahead. You know I’m independently wealthy and only do this to keep me entertained.”
Lyddie sighed and sank down in the chair, pulling her left foot up to rest on her right knee. “Fine. Two questions. That’s it.”
“Two questions, huh? Fair enough. Is he as good as he looks?”
“Nadine!”
“Okay, okay. None of my business. How about this one—what the hell are you thinking, getting involved with a man who’s gonna break your heart?”
“Why does everyone in this town act like he’s the devil incarnate?”
“Did I say anything about that?”
No, come to think of it. Nadine hadn’t said anything against J.T. except that he was going to leave.
“Sorry. His reputation is kind of a sore subject for me these days.”
Nadine gave a shrewd look. “I just bet it is. So tell me. What possessed you to fall in with someone who’s going to pack up and leave in less than—”
“I know exactly how long it will be until he leaves. And believe it or not, that was one of the chief attractions. We’ll have a little fun while it’s convenient, and then he’ll go. No messy complications, no worries about whether the kids like him or—or anything else. It’s perfect.”
“That is such a load of bull. I haven’t seen you this happy in all the time I’ve known you. You really think you can just let him go? You?”
“That’s at least your third question. Maybe fourth, if we count the totally inappropriate one. But I’ll answer it anyway, and then you’d better start talking.”
Nadine grunted.
“Okay, you’re right. Letting go is going to suck. He’s a great guy, no matter what everyone says, and we’ve had some very...um, very special times together. But come on. I’ve known him less than two months. It’s not like I’m in love or anything like that.”
Nadine stared at her again, long enough to make Lyddie’s gut twist. She braced herself for another onslaught. But to her surprise, Nadine merely tipped her head and gave a little nod before saying, “So what did you want to ask me?”
Well, that switch was fast enough to make a girl dizzy. “I want to know who used to hang out with him when he was in school. Especially near the night of graduation.” She drew a deep breath and added, “And if it’s the same people who are trying to convince you that he’s been playing doctor with the tourists.”
Nadine’s careless slouch fled as she jerked upright. “Don’t go there, Lyddie. You don’t want to open that can of worms.”
“There’s no worms involved. I just want some answers.”
“No.”
“Hello? I answered all of yours.”
“No, you didn’t. And it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t tell you, anyway.”
“Why not?”
“Lyddie...” For one of the few times ever, Lyddie saw hesitancy in Nadine’s eyes.
“What is it?”
“People are...anxious. Some of ’em are pissed because they want that Randy Cripps guy in here, and no, it’s not just Her Worship and company. Some are royally ticked that anyone would try to push you out. They’re talking about petitions and letters to the editor and storming the next planning board meeting. And some folks just shake their heads and say everything will be fine as soon as J.T. leaves town.”
Lyddie’s stomach threatened to jump into her throat. “I don’t understand.”
Nadine sighed. “Sweetie, people will cut you a lot of slack because of Glenn and just because they like you. But J.T.—he’s dividing the place.”
“It sounds like Jillian is the one pushing people into different camps.”
“Say what you will about Her Worship, but I have to give her this. She really believes it’s the right move. That’s not going to win her any popularity contests. Like I said, people think a lot of you.”
“Really? Even if they think I’m sleeping with the enemy? Because if they’re busy telling you lies about him, they obviously want those stories to come back to me, and the only reason they would want me to hear it would be to make me end it with him.”
“Because if you end it with him, there’s no chance of him, say, falling for you and deciding to stay here, no matter what anyone says about him.”
“And who on earth would be so caught up in the past that they—oh.” The answer was so obvious that she couldn’t stay seated. She jumped from her chair and started shoving mugs into the dishwasher.
“It’s the other people who were there, isn’t it? The ones who were at the fire. They’re afraid J.T. will rat them out if he stays.”
“Who says there was anyone else there that night?”
“Nadine. Do you honestly believe he was there all by himself?”
Nadine shook her head, arms crossed. “No. Never did think that.”
“Then why—”
“No one talked. No one even gave up a hint, and, Lyddie, if you had been here when it happened, you would know why. It was... Well, I’m not proud of how a lot of folks acted in those days. I sure as hell can’t blame those kids for letting J.T. take the heat, either. Not when he was up and gone and they were still here, listening to all that anger and hurt.”
“I don’t blame them, either. Not for what they did then. But now? Why should they get off scot-free while he has to walk around with it all on him? Is that right?”
“No, but it’s the way it is.”
“And that’s why you won’t tell me who he hung out with in school, isn’t it?”
Instead of answering the question, Nadine took a mug from her fingers, set it on the rack and curled her hand around Lyddie’s. “Be careful, honey.”
“Be careful? Damn it, Nadine. All I wanted was to feel alive again. Remind myself that there’s more to me than what other people think. Have some fun.”
A ghost of Nadine’s usual smile twisted her lips. “From the way you turned red when I asked if he was as good as he looked, I’d say you have the fun part covered.”
Lyddie squeezed Nadine’s hand before turning back to the dishwasher. “You’re really not going to tell me who he hung out with in school, are you?”
“No.”
“And it’s for my own good.”
“That’s about it.”
Okay. Fine. She could respect that.
But if Nadine thought that silence would make Lyddie drop this, then Nadine was sadly mistaken.
* * *
J.T. KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP with Lyddie the moment she walked into the cottage that night. It was pretty obvious. If he hadn’t guessed there was a problem from the tension in her shoulders or the lack of laughter in her greeting, he would have known from the way she launched herself at him, barely giving him a moment to catch his breath before she had him on his back straddling him and kissing him with a desperation he’d never felt from her before.
Not that he was complaining, especially since he was still trying to shake off the memory of walking into the hardware store to find Jillian and Steve deep in a conversation that ended with them springing apart when they noticed him. Their guilty expressions had haunted him through the rest of the day. So he was more than ready to oblige Lyddie. There was a new urgency, a hunger that made him think her need for him was becoming as strong as his for her.
But she had to need him for more than release. If he had any chance of ever getting her out of Comeback Cove, he had to make her see that there was more between them than great sex.
So he let her ride out her demons. He held her while she clutched at him, filled her and loved her and let her use him to block out the world for a few moments. But when she was done, when she picked herself up from where she’d collapsed on his chest and slithered down to the bed beside him, he pulled her close and pushed the hair back from her face and said, “So not that I’m complaining, but what was that all about?”
“You don’t believe I just thought about you all day and couldn’t wait another minute?”
“Nice try. Makes me feel good.” He tweaked her nose. “But I think there was more than that.”
She sighed. “You know me too well.”
God, how he hoped to make that true. “Come on. Out with it. Did Sara’s teacher call?”
“Not yet.”
“Ben? He’s having a problem with camp?”
“No, I talked to him today and he’s in geek heaven. And it’s not Tish, and not even Ruth, though she still hasn’t forgiven me. But that might be because Tish made her go on the Small World ride six times in a row.”
“So if it isn’t any of them...”
She nuzzled his chest, sending hope flaring within him. “It’s you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
She ran a finger lightly down his chest. “Someone told me today that people are spreading rumors about you. Did you know you’ve been doing every tourist in town?”
Ah, hell. “I take it you know better than to believe that.”
“Good Lord, of course. You’re an amazing man, J.T., but even you need time to recover.”
“Glad to hear you have faith in me.”
“Don’t ever doubt that.”
He squeezed her shoulders, pulled the blanket a little higher. “On the other hand, if worrying about rumors is going to get me that kind of reaction, I might start a few of my own.”
She laughed, but he heard the worry beneath it.
“I think some people are worried you might decide to stick around.”
Ah, crap. He wasn’t sure there was enough blood in his brain yet to navigate this minefield.
“That’s really nothing new.”
“It’s so...so ridiculous. I know I complain about folks here, but really, most of them are totally kind and caring and way too reasonable for this nonsense.”
“Fear will make people do crazy things.”
“Really? I was pretty damned scared when I heard that little nugget today, but I didn’t run around spreading lies or trying to interfere in other people’s lives.”
“I think we can both agree that you handled your emotions in a far better way.”
She giggled before burying her face in his chest.
“I can’t help it. I don’t want bad things to happen to people I...people I care about.”
She had to feel the way everything in him tensed in preparation of jumping for joy, but he was willing to risk it. “You care what happens to me, Lyddie love?”
The endearment just slipped out, but he was running out of time. He had to start taking chances.
“Of course I care,” she said softly. “I know we said no strings, but that doesn’t mean no emotions whatsoever.”
“Me, too. You’re pretty special.”
“And you,” she said with a soft kiss to his neck, “are the best chance I ever took.”
Was it time for him to take an equally big gamble? Should he lay everything out—tell her he loved her, tell her he was considering moving close by so he could have more time with her?
No. Not yet. There was still one step he had to take. He had to get her out of Comeback Cove, with him. Had to make her see how it would feel to be a real couple, out in public, with no need for secrecy.
“You ready to take another chance?”
“Maybe.” She rose up on one elbow, gave him a smile that sent him stirring.
“Wanna go away for a night together?”
“I thought we spent the last two weeks doing that.”
“I mean away away. Somewhere else.”
Curiosity chased resistance across her face. “I don’t know... When could we do it? Ruth and Tish come home the night after tomorrow.”
At least it wasn’t an outright refusal.
“Here’s what I’m thinking. Don’t you have to go to Toronto Saturday to get Ben? That’s a four-hour drive each way, and you’ve had a hell of a week. You should probably drive part of the way the night before. Like, to Brockville.”
“Okay.” Her words came slowly, as if she were thinking aloud. “That would make sense. Especially if, you know, I want to do some shopping or something before his closing ceremonies.”
Yes!
“We would have to take separate cars, though, unless you want to get a bus back Saturday morning.”
He tried to hide the twinge of hurt. “Sure. I guess it might freak people to see us driving off into the sunset together.”
“It’s not that, though Ruth... Well, I don’t want to hurt her. But Ben was pretty suspicious anyway, and if we both came to get him, he might...well, he might start thinking things. Get his hopes up.”
Ben wasn’t the only one. But she was right. J.T. could handle risking his own heart. He wouldn’t do that to a kid.
“So you think it would work?”
She leaned over and brushed her lips lightly over his. “I think it’s an excellent idea. Especially if it means extra time with you.”
He rolled her over and kissed her slowly, praying that this would do the trick—that this one extra night with Lyddie would be the next step to a lifetime.