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Family History Stories
Have you heard the one about how your great-uncle Tom gobbled sixteen blueberry pies at a pie-eating contest and then went home and ate a full dinner? Does everyone still laugh about how Grandma Ida Marie ran off and became a trapeze artist, then surprised everyone by becoming the toast of the town? Why do you think stories like these are repeated over and over? It’s not just because they’re such great stories. It’s because they reveal as much about the person as a great photograph can.
Family stories can be about people doing everyday things, about being part of great historical events, or simply about places they’ve been and things they’ve seen. Such stories are just as much family heirlooms as a prized old pocket watch or a carefully preserved wedding dress.
THE STORYTELLING TRADITION
Stories from the past can still affect our lives today. Here’s one about an immigrant who arrived at Ellis Island about a hundred years ago. At the time, doctors there examined everyone. If someone was sick, the doctor chalked an X on the back of the person’s coat. Immigrants marked with an X would be held for a short time on the island to see if they got better. If they didn’t, they were sent back home. It was a terrible thing for people who had left everything, looking for freedom and better lives in America, to be turned away.
Clothing styles and city brownstones help to date and place a picture.
One day, a doctor listened to an immigrant’s breathing sounds. He didn’t like what he heard so he quickly chalked an X on the man’s back. The man knew what that meant. In a panic, he looked out across the water at the land he was so desperate to reach. Suddenly, he turned and ran, then dived straight into the water, swimming toward shore.
By the time he made it ashore, the police were waiting and easily took the exhausted man into custody. He was brought to court, but the judge hearing the story was more amazed than angry.
“If you’re healthy enough to swim that distance, you’re certainly healthy enough to make it here,” he said. Then he made it official—“You can stay.”
The story is a true one—part of the family history of a friend of mine. Anytime anyone in the family was about to give up on something they truly wanted, the story of the grandfather who swam to shore was retold. The message was: if your grandfather could overcome great odds, so can you! It made my friend proud. And it made her feel that, just like her grandfather, she could do anything if she set her mind to it.
Family stories knit generations together. They can encourage, console, or sometimes just spark laughter. And they can make you feel closer to your ancestors.
Family stories can also provide clues to help you find more information about your family. As part of a story, someone might mention the name of the town where a relative you’ve been searching for used to live. A story about great-grandma’s prize quilt might lead you to a quilting organization with lists of present and past members online.
The collecting of family stories is sometimes called taking “oral histories,” because they are verbal records of a time and a place. All this can help you in your genealogical research. You’ve read about World War II in your history books, but imagine how much more alive that dry information will be if you hear about it from someone who actually lived through it—someone related to you!
What will you do with these family stories? Besides helping you in your research, you may want to write out some of them and include them in your family scrapbook. For example, in Grandma’s section, you might want to include the story about how she met Grandpa. Or you can copy down all the stories and put them together in their own separate book. A great thing to do is to gather your relatives and use a camera or phone to film them telling the stories. That way, you can capture their expressions and their joy! Then make copies or put the whole thing on CDs to give to family members.
TAKING ORAL HISTORIES
There’s an art to collecting family stories. Once you have the tools: pencils, notebook, your phone or a voice recorder, the first thing you’ll need to do is know how to listen. Give all your attention to the storyteller and don’t interrupt. Save your questions for the end. Don’t rush the speaker or criticize. How would you feel if you were telling a story and someone said, “Could you tell the story a little faster?” or “This part is boring, can we skip it and get to the good parts?” Instead, say things like, “This is fascinating!” or “I could listen forever!” with an interested look on your face. It’s a sure way to get the storyteller to answer your follow-up questions and want to tell you more.
MAKE UP A LIST OF QUESTIONS
Don’t put anyone on the spot by asking them to “Tell me a story about your life.” Prepare a list of questions to help start things off. And don’t forget a notebook or tape recorder to record their answers.
Here are a few starter or follow-up questions you may want to ask:
Places
1. Where did you grow up?
2. What was your house like?
3. Where did you buy your clothes and shop for food?
4. What did you do for fun where you lived?
5. Did you travel? Where? What did you see?
People
1. What were your parents like?
2. Do you remember your teachers?
3. Who did you admire most when you were growing up?
4. Who played a part in changing your life?
5. Who was the first person you fell in love with? Can you talk about the person?
In Those Days
1. Can you tell me about when you first moved here?
2. What kind of work did you and other family members do?
3. What was going on in the world?
4. How did what happened affect you and the family?
5. How has life changed for you since then?
Emotions
1. What story about yourself or your family makes you smile?
2. What story about yourself or your family makes you laugh?
3. What story about yourself or your family makes you cry?
4. What story about yourself or your family makes you wonder about things?
5. What story about yourself or your family makes you feel proud?
The first thing news reporters learn is to answer, in their stories, the five “W”s—Who, What, Where, When, and Why. Who is telling the story? What happened in the story? Where did it take place? When? Why is the story important? Tag on a “How” question and you can ask just about anything (now you’re on your way to becoming a news reporter).
WHAT’S YOUR STORY?
You’re part of your family tree, too. So don’t forget to write down your own stories. They will be memories that you can hand down to future generations. Keep them, and any other family stories, in your loose-leaf workbook or put them in the family scrapbook.
Car models can help date photographs—early ones had running boards.