Scene 2
In front of the high school.
(Lights come up immediately. Enter Ceci, Lupe, and Susana.)
Susana: Girl, what’s wrong with you? I mean, he wears a calculator on his belt!
Lupe: And his pantalones are all the way up to his throat. Like they’re choking him or something.
Susana: And did you hear what he wants to start? (Ceci shakes her head) A club for people into ant farms.
Lupe: Qué loco! He’s a funny dude.
Ceci: But he’s sweet.
Lupe: So! If you want something sweet, buy a soda.
Ceci: I’m not talking thirst, girl. I’m talking about a guy I can trust. He’s better than that no-good Sleepy. He said he was going to the library.
Lupe: (eyeing Susana) Instead he was with you know who.
Ceci: (angrily at Susana) Yeah—her! Susana!
Susana: I’m sorry. He said that you and him broke up. I didn’t know. Honest, Ceci. I’m not the kind of chola who goes out with her best friend’s dude.
Lupe: La flaca’s telling the truth. She was really sorry, Ceci. She cried exactly ninety-six lágrimas. Huh, Susana?
Susana: It’s true. I spilled them tears all over my bedroom. And I felt so bad that I let Lupe pull my hair for an hour.
Lupe: De veras. I punished that girl.
Ceci: (tenderly) I know. I don’t mean to be hard. But it still hurts. (pause) I was a fool to trust that ratón Sleepy. And now look at him. In juvie for putting his name in wet cement. How stupid!
(Offstage, Sleepy’s voice rumbles, “You better not go out with junior Einstein. ”)
Ceci: (to offstage voice) You can’t tell me what to do. We’re through, Sleepy. You’re locked away and out of my life.
(The girls pace.)
Lupe: It’s like the bad experience I had last year.
Ceci: Sleepy hit on you too?
(Lupe grows silent. She walks away from her friends.)
Ceci: What? What happened?
Lupe: Remember when I was in love with Little Ray? And I begged him to let me wear his Raiders jacket?
Ceci: (frustrated) Do you have to bring this up again?
Lupe: And I lost it, his jacket. The one his mother had bought him when she won a hundred bolas from the lottery. He made me feel so low!
Susana: Cállate already.
Lupe: (with tears) Then I found it under the bleachers. The jacket his mom bought!
Susana: Get over it, girl.
Lupe: It was all dirty and messed up.
Ceci: Put it behind you! That was last year, not yesterday.
Lupe: (sniffling) Alright. I won’t talk about it anymore. It’s gone. It belongs to the past. We must look toward the future. (pause) Then he made me pay for the cleaning bill and told all his friends about it.
Susana: Ay, Dios. Every time we talk about romance, you bring up Little Ray and his stupid Raiders jacket.
Ceci: Vatos are cruel.
Susana: Malos two-timers.
Lupe: Low-down ratones.
Susana: Huevones to the ninth degree!
(The girls start, one by one, to look out into the audience, noticing the boys.)
Ceci: Espérate. Wait a second. Let’s not be hasty. (pointing at a boy) That one allá. He’s fino.
Susana: (pointing at another boy) He’s fine too. That ratoncito in the front row.
Ceci: Y el güero over there. I like your eyes, my little empanada.
Lupe: Wait a second. We’re getting sidetracked. Guys will do that, make us forget about what’s really important.
(Offstage, Sleepy’s voice rumbles, “You better not go out with Junior Einstein. ”)
Ceci: (to offstage voice) Cállate! I’ll do what I want.You don’t own me or nothing. (to girls) He thinks I should do what he wants. Forget him!
Susana: Maybe you’re right, Ceci. What you need is a guy who is faithful.
Lupe: Kind!
Susana: Intelligent!
Ceci: I like that. A guy who is kind, faithful, and smart. And looks shouldn’t matter that much. Even if he’s got braces on his teeth.
Susana: I remember this girl telling me that she was making out with this guy with braces.
Lupe: So?
Susana: Braces with these rubber bands. And when he and the girl were making out, one of his rubber bands shot in her mouth.
Lupe: Asco!
(The girls pace.)
Ceci: Looks help, I agree. But for me, personally, I want a guy I can trust.
(Offstage, Sleepy’s voice rumbles, “You can trust me, chola.”)
Ceci: (to offstage voice) Shut up, I said!
Lupe: Dudes, they’re always promising things.
Susana: That’s right. They promise to write love letters, but do they write them? Mentirosos! I remember this guy from Kerman [or local town]. We danced and danced and got pretty close in the parking lot. Julio was, chihuahua, one hot tamal.
Lupe: I think I went out with that guy. He’s got a ponytail, no?
Susana: (eagerly) And a cute little scar on his chin?
Lupe: And these cowboy boots?
(The two of them click their heels together.)
Susana: He’s a real good kisser, huh?
Lupe: Yeah, but he kissed me first!
Susana: He was only breaking his lips in for me, girl. It was just something for him to do while he waited for me to come around!
(Lupe glares at Susana, then turns away.)
Lupe: Guys are so cruel.
Susana: Deceitful.
(The girls pace, fretting over their boy problems.)
Lupe: We got to be careful about guys.
Susana: What do you mean?
(Lupe throws a frightened look around the stage.)
Lupe: Did you ever hear about that scary date, about how some girl who met this guy who was really a ... I better not say.
Susana: What?
Lupe: Pues, he was really a chicken.
Ceci: What are you talking about, loca?
Lupe: Tú sabes, that muchacha who fell in love with this guy at the dance. A club called El Rancho.
Susana: And the lights went out. And when they came back on—
Lupe: (butting in) Let me tell it! It’s my story. (to the audience) She was this country girl from the state of Monterrey. She was shy and pretty like me. Her parents were all strict and stuff, and wouldn’t let her go nowhere. But then she sneaked out of the house to go clubbing.
(Ceci and Susana feign dancing.)
Lupe: (continuing) She was having a good time. She was dancing with this good-looking dude with a long neck.
(Ceci and Susana stick their necks in and out like chickens.)
Lupe: (continuing) And the lights went out.
(Ceci and Susana scream.)
Lupe: (continuing) And one of her earrings fell off.
(The girls gaze down at the floor in search of the earring.)
Lupe: She bent to pick it up. Right then, she saw that her novio had a pair of chicken legs.
(Ceci and Susana scream, “Piernas de pollo!”)
Lupe: En serio. Her date was a chicken.
(Ceci and Susana chuckle.)
Ceci: I’m not worried about Martin. I already know he’s a chicken. Heck, I could beat him up easy if I wanted.
(Offstage, Sleepy’s voice rumbles, “You better not go out with him, Ceci. ”)
Ceci: That does it! No más!
(Ceci stomps offstage. We hear the sound of punches, kicks, slaps, moans, etc. Susana and Lupe cringe from the noise. Silence. Ceci returns, breathing hard and rubbing her knuckles.)
Susana: Is everything OK? He’s not hurt, is he?
(Ceci cuts mad stares at the audience.)
Ceci: We just had a little talk. We decided to end our relationship.
Susana: What’s that in your hand?
(Susana takes a few strands of hair from Ceci’s hand. She lets the strands flutter to the ground.)
Lupe: Looks like Sleepy’s hair. Híjole, you’re one nasty cat. (pause) You really like the little nerd?
Ceci: (snapping) His name is Martin, not nerd! We shouldn’t put him down because he’s smart!
Lupe: OK. I’m sorry.
Susana: If you like him, it’s OK with me. Huh, Lupe?
Lupe: Sure.
(The girls glance at the mailbox scrawled with placas.)
Lupe: Mira! Look at these love placas!
Ceci: Placas for days. Some of them are really old-1957, 62, 66, 73 ...
(They examine the mailbox.)
Lupe: Check this out, homegirls. Joaquin con Susana.
Ceci: Is that the Joaquin from school?
Lupe: That’s him allright. He spelled “eternally” all wrong. I-n-t-e-r-n-a-l-l-y.
(The three study the names on the mailbox.)
Ceci: (to Susana) Joaquin is pretty cute.You got eyes for him, o qué?
Susana: Maybe. Maybe not. But ... probably maybe.
Lupe: Cuidado! Joaquin hangs out with those tontos, Freddie and Tito.
Ceci: Freddie and Tito? Didn’t some tough homeboys lock them in a locker for the weekend?
Lupe: That’s them. A couple of soft tacos!
Susana: But Joaquin is cute, even if he can’t spell. (to Ceci) Pues, how are you going to get your guy?
Lupe: Yeah, how are you going to snag Junior Einstein?
Ceci: I’m going to the mall. I’m going to change my image. (dreamily) There’s that store called Nerdstrom’s. They sell nerd dresses and nerd shoes and glasses thick as magnifying glasses. Plus lots of science stuff.
Susana: No, girl! You can’t shop there!
Lupe: Those are hecka ugly clothes.
Susana: (pleading) You’re one of us!
Ceci: I’m sorry to let you cholas down. But I’m going to get my nerd. I mean, didn’t you ever want to be, like, someone else?
Susana: No.
Ceci: Think about it.
Susana: I wanted to be like ... never mind.
Ceci: Come on, tell us.
Susana: Well, I wanted to be like ... Barbie.
Ceci: There you go. That’s nice.
Susana: But a brown Barbie. A shade lighter than chicken mole.
Lupe: I got a confession también.
Ceci: You wanted to be like Barbie too?
Lupe: You know how we dream. Pretend? I wanted to be like Selena.
Ceci: That’s real nice. Her musica es la mejor.
Susana: Maybe you’re right. It’s OK to be someone else, to try something different.
Ceci: Es la verdad. And for me, pues, Nerdstrom’s is the place. I’m going to hook my man.
Lupe: Like fishing, huh?
Ceci: That’s right. Like a fish, un gran pescado.
(Ceci casts an invisible fishing pole and Lupe and Susana pretend to bite. Ceci hauls them offstage. Lights dim, then darken.)