I slump down onto the couch and wait for the noise of her car to disappear down the mountain. I close my eyes and rub my temples with my fingers.
She wants me to help. She wants to learn.
Every part of my body wants to be nearer to her. Every part of me wants to feel her skin against mine, to hold her hand and pull her close, but my mind is screaming no.
How can I teach her anything when she’s powerless to change things? She works for the corporation that’s going to destroy our little slice of heaven on these mountains. As good as her intentions are, she doesn’t understand that the changes the hotel brings will be irreversible.
I glance toward the shelf and see the picture I brought from the big house. My father’s eyes stare back at me from the grave and I get up to slam the picture down. I can’t look at him, not now. Not when I’m considering working with Maddy, working with the people who want to destroy my home.
A paper crunches in my pocket and I pull out the brochure that Maddy handed to me. I open it up, looking at the fake rendered photos of the luxury hotel, and I read through the meaningless words that brag about ‘sustainability’ and ‘conservation’. I snort as I read through it and shake my head. I slip the brochure into the stove and watch it curl and disintegrate as it burns.
It’s the same bullshit. They say all these things but all they care about are the thousands of tourists that will pay hundreds of dollars a night. They'll walk through these mountains and leave behind trash, trampled ground, and destruction. I watch the brochure burn into nothing and slump down on the sofa.
I spend a restless night tossing and turning in my bed. Tonight it feels too hard, or too lumpy, or too cold. I can’t get comfortable. Usually when I spend the day outside, working on my car or walking through the forest, I sleep like a log. I fall asleep when the sun goes down and I wake up when it comes up.
Not tonight, though. I wake up when it’s still dark out and stare at the ceiling until it becomes too much. Yesterday’s events run through my head over and over. I can see the look on Maddy’s face when she watched the falcon flying overhead, and how earnest she was about the community garden.
Finally, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and shuffle to the kitchen. I put on a pot of strong coffee and watch it as it brews, trying to ignore the throbbing cock between my legs.
A woman hasn’t had this effect on me in years. I can’t get her out of my head. When the coffee is ready, I pour the black liquid into a mug and take a long sip. I close my eyes and let the bitter taste fill my mouth, all the while imagining how sweet Maddy’s lips would taste if she were here this morning.
I turn around and lean against the counter. I take another sip and head toward the wood-burning stove to start today’s fire. There’s one colorful piece of paper in there. It’s a small corner of the brochure she gave me, a tiny bit of paper that survived the flames. I stare at it and it feels like it’s taunting me.
Come into town, it’s saying. Work on the community garden, it calls out. See her one more time.
I take a deep breath. I already know I’ve lost. Before I know it, I’m showering and getting dressed and heading to my father’s old truck. I load up the back of the flatbed with bags of compost I’ve made at the cabin and take some young plants from my vegetable garden. I load up a spade and a shovel and take a deep breath before closing up the truck.
What am I doing? By showing up to this garden, I’m essentially supporting the construction of the hotel. I shake my head and walk over to the driver’s side.
That’s not true. I’m going in to see what it’s about. The garden will be a good addition to the town, and maybe I can speak to Maddy and teach her more about the area. I can show her that the hotel will only lead to the destruction of these mountains and forests. She's gotten a small taste of them now. She might understand why we care about them so much.
The drive into town is quiet. The early morning mist is lifting as I pass the old timber sign that says, ‘Welcome to Lang Creek”. I can feel the pulse through my whole body, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m in the town that has caused me so much pain, passing the McCoy’s hotel, or if it’s because I’m going to see Maddy soon.
I turn the corner at the end of town and find the small plot of land set aside for the community garden. No one is here yet, and I check my watch. It’s barely past 7am. On a Sunday morning, most people will be in bed for a couple more hours.
I jump out of the truck and start unloading my tools. It looks like there have been some garden plots laid out, but they’re in dire need of some good soil and more plants. I look around, still seeing no one, and get to work on my own.
It feels like the old days, when I’d drive into town with my brothers and father and work on various jobs. He’d take us along from the time we were old enough to hold a hammer and taught us how to fix anything that was worth fixing. I work slowly and methodically, from one end of the garden to another, until all the garden plots are freshly turned and ready for planting.
I head toward my truck to grab some rich compost when I hear a whistle. I turn to see Maddy with a grin on her face and an eyebrow raised, looking over the garden with an approving eye.
“I wasn’t expecting to see this this morning,” she says with a smile. I turn to look at my work and then shrug.
“It’s good for the town,” I say. “It doesn’t mean I think the hotel should be built.”
“So you’re just using my company, is that it?”
“Something like that,” I reply, trying to stifle a grin. “Just like your company is using this town.” I can feel the blood pumping through my veins as she takes a step toward me. Her hair is pulled back in a high ponytail, showing off her gorgeous hazel eyes and her high cheekbones. Her lips look more kissable than ever.
She walks up beside me to grab a bag of compost from my truck. Her arm brushes against mine and my cock twitches in my pants. I think of my shower yesterday, and all I want to do is bend her over the back of the truck and ram my cock into her. She glances up at me and winks before hauling a bag of compost toward the garden.
“Well don’t just stand there,” she says with a laugh. “Come and help me.”