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While I tried to stay focused at the gas station and not buy junk food, it seemed to make its way back into the motorhome with us anyway. I had grabbed a handful of coffee drinks and a bag of ice that I was able to shove into the small freezer portion of the refrigerator. There was a paper bag sitting in the middle console, filled with bags of mixed nuts, a couple of granola bars, and a package of chocolate donuts. Those were for John, not me.
The drive went by quickly, with only a few delays from construction at the Arizona-New Mexico border. Otherwise, it was fairly easy and light traffic through to Albuquerque. I followed John’s directions and got off on one of the first few exits. A few minutes later, we were in the parking lot of a very busy Walmart.
“Do you want to wake Lily and we can all go shopping? Or do you want me to go grab what I need, and then you can go grab what you need?” I asked, turning in my seat to look at him. It had been a long ride, and I imagined that he wanted to stretch his legs as much as I did.
“We can make separate trips. I don’t want to wake her if we don’t have to. She must not be feeling well if she’s slept the entire day,” he noted.
“I can look for some Gatorade and medicine if we need it?” I offered, unsure of what to get since I didn’t know what symptoms she had other than a stomachache and fatigue.
I heard movement in the back and turned to see Lily getting up.
“You okay, sweetie?” I asked, noticing the look of concern on her face.
John turned, his face immediately catching the tone in my voice.
“What’s wrong?” John questioned when she looked down at the bedding in horror.
“I’m... bleeding,” she whispered, looking up at me with fear in her eyes.
I felt a sigh of relief, knowing exactly what was going on and why she hadn’t been feeling well.
“Bleeding? Do we need to get to a hospital?”
I could hear the panic in his tone, knowing that he was already starting to freak out as he got up and starting walking back to her. I got up and followed, patting him gently on the back.
“She’s fine. We don’t need to go to the hospital,” I assured him gently, trying to pull him back some so Lily didn’t get even more embarrassed or scared.
“She said that she’s bleeding—what if she has internal bleeding or a hemorrhage that—”
I raised my eyebrows and pinned him with a look waiting for him to stop. He snapped his mouth shut, it finally dawning on him what was happening. I could see the thoughts running through his head as he tried to figure out what he needed to do.
“Hey, why don’t you go inside and get started on the list?” I suggested, reaching over to grab the notepad from the table. I tore the top sheet of paper off and shoved it into his chest. When he tried to object, I gave him another look and pushed harder.
“But—”
“We’ll meet you inside in a few minutes,” I said quickly as he stepped backward down the steps and bumped into the door.
“Okay,” he sighed and gave in, turning around and closing the door behind him.
Once we were alone, I walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed beside Lily.
“Am I going to die, Aunt Emma?” she asked quietly.
“No, honey,” I shook my head and kept from laughing. I knew that she was worried, and that Charlotte likely hadn’t spent much time talking to her about this, given how young she was. “You’re going to be just fine, sweetie.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing. You’re becoming a woman.” I looked at her with a sense of pride that I was the one who was getting to share this moment with her. To teach her the things that she needed to know and guide her on this journey.
“I am?”
I nodded.
“Yes, ma’am. You just got your first period.”
“Is that why my stomach has been hurting and cramping so much?”
I nodded again, this time more sympathetically. I should have considered this earlier when she was complaining about having a stomachache.
“Those are cramps. And they stink, but we can get you some medicine to help make them feel a little better.”
“Okay,” she said, dropping her hands into her lap.
“Do you have any questions about it?” I asked carefully, trying not to overwhelm her. “I don’t know how much your mom talked to you about it, but if you have questions, you can always ask me.”
“She covered the basics but said that I would probably be older when I got mine.”
“Everyone starts at a different age,” I assured her, remembering that Charlotte didn’t get hers until she was almost fourteen. “I got mine at your age.”
“You did?” Her eyes widened in surprise.
“It was actually on my first day of school, in sixth grade.”
“That had to be rough,” she giggled.
“It was,” I sighed. I didn’t bother to mention that I had just lost my parents. Thankfully, my aunt stepped up right away and taught me how to take care of myself and explained what was happening in my body. It was one of the rare few times that I had been able to help Charlotte with something when she got hers a few years later.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, and once I was sure that she didn’t have any questions, I helped her get cleaned up and offered her a panty liner that I had found in my bigger purse. We went into the store and made our way to the feminine hygiene section to get the rest of the supplies that she would be needing. I stocked up on pads and panty liners, explaining the different options based on how heavy her flow was. We bypassed tampons when I realized that I wasn’t any more comfortable talking about them than she was hearing about them.
I made sure to grab a couple of bottles of Tylenol and some Midol. I also grabbed a few heating pads of different sizes, one for her stomach to help with the cramps, and the other was a full-length one for your back that plugged in.
We found John while we were shopping in the clothes section. I wanted to make sure that she had enough underwear to wear without having to worry if she accidentally leaked. I had just tossed a pack into the basket we were using when John glanced down at its contents and grimaced. Lily was looking at pajamas and out of earshot.
“It’s not as bad as you think it is,” I said playfully, adding another pack of underwear to the cart. We would have to find a laundry mat soon so I could wash my clothes before I ran out; why not stock up for Lily too?
“Isn’t she too young for this?” he whispered, pointing to the cart.
“No,” I shook my head. “I was her age when I got mine. It’s just her body being ready.” I shrugged and pulled my mouth to the side.
“I’m not ready,” he groaned.
“You don’t have to do anything but be supportive and buy her the stuff that she needs. She has the truly hard part in all of this.”
He raised a brow and considered what I was saying.
“Her body is going through so many changes right now, and she doesn’t know what they are. You can help her through it by not acting like this is the end of the world. It’s just a period.”
He flinched at the word, and I laughed.
“What else does she need?” he asked, calmer this time.
“Some loose shorts might be nice. Nothing too tight on her tummy.”
“Okay, add some clothes for her, and we’ll stop to do laundry soon.”
I nodded and pressed my lips together, trying to fight the laughter that threatened to spill over at how uncomfortable he was with all of this.
“I’m going to the sporting goods section. I’ll meet up with you guys in a little bit,” he said, his voice suddenly a little deeper. I rolled my eyes at the macho attempt to try to be manlier and not have to hear about his daughter’s period.
I helped Lily find more clothes to wear, as well as a cute makeup bag that she could store all of her stuff in, so she didn’t have to be embarrassed with having it sit out on display in the bathroom. We wandered over to the women’s clothing, and I found a couple of clearance racks with tank tops and loose shorts. I piled some into the cart and smiled, knowing that I would love to be a little more comfortable on the long car rides than I had been.
Twenty minutes later, we found John looking at inflatable rafts. I pulled my brows together, wondering what in the world he was going to do with this giant inflatable boat raft when it dawned on me that it was for the river ride in Taos tomorrow. I smiled and nodded, loving the idea that he had. I was about to point out that we didn’t have an air compressor or anything to inflate it.
“Is that going to be big enough?” I asked. “And how are you going to blow it up?”
“It says right here, it can fit three people, up to four hundred pounds. And it comes with a pump!”
I felt the excitement radiating from him and smiled. I glanced down at my cart, eyeing the new bikini that I had bought to wear tomorrow. Usually, I stuck to one-piece swimsuits, but something about this trip had me wanting to live on the edge and try new things, even if that meant flaunting my body for everyone to see in a two-piece.
We wrapped up the trip and grabbed a few more snacks—and a giant bag of assorted chocolate candy bars for Lily and made our way to the register. It was already getting late, and we still had to figure out dinner before we got back on the road to drive the last few hours to Taos.
“Is there anything you girls feel like for dinner?” John asked as if reading my mind again. It was eerily creepy how he could do that lately.
“I feel like a giant cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate milkshake,” Lily said, looking up at him with her bright blue eyes.
He tried to fight the smile from pulling across his face but failed.
“And so, it starts,” he mumbled, running a hand down his face.
We paid for our stuff and packed everything inside the motorhome where Lily and I were going to sort through things once we were back on the road. John made a quick stop at McDonald's for dinner, and then we were on our way again. So much for eating healthy tonight, I thought as I took a bite of my quarter pounder and wiped the ketchup from the corner of my mouth with a napkin.
There was always tomorrow, and I had made sure that we bought plenty of stuff to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next few days. I had even stocked up on juice, tea, and a six-pack of Coors, knowing that it was John’s favorite. After we finished eating, Lily took all the tags off her new clothes and added them to the laundry basket that I had purchased to keep all of the dirty clothes in. It was way too hard to know what was clean and what was dirty when everything was living in our suitcases. There wasn’t much room for the basket, but I made it fit in the small space under the bathroom sink, so it was out of the way.
I helped Lily change the sheets on the bed with the new ones that we had bought. I tossed the other ones into the hamper and made a note to soak them in cold water later to get the blood stain out of them. Once we finished, I stopped and gave Sammy some fresh food before I got to work reorganizing the fridge and the cabinets next to it. Everything was packed full, but I was excited to cook again, which was odd because I had never enjoyed it much before I started cooking for John and Lily. It was amazing the things that I suddenly loved now that they were a huge part of my life.