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I felt like I weighed twenty pounds more after dinner than I did when we first got to Stone Harbor. One thing that I missed about Charlotte’s parents was their cooking. But then again, I didn’t miss how uncomfortable my stomach would be hours later from eating too much.
By eight-thirty, we had cleaned up dinner and were getting ready to call it a night. Lily had already gone to bed and was quite content in her bedroom at the end of the hall, right across from Charles and Alice’s room. John and I had the two rooms at the other end, which shared the jack and jill bathroom.
I was tired but felt gross and sticky from the humidity after sitting on the patio for dinner. I didn’t bother to unpack my duffle bag, knowing that I wouldn’t be staying long enough to justify unpacking and repacking the bag. I pulled out a pair of light cotton shorts and a tank top to sleep in and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
I opened the door and gasped, dropping my clothes to the floor as I shielded my eyes.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were in here,” I apologize, continuing to look away from John. He was wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and his body still damp from the shower.
“It’s fine,” he laughed. “I guess I should have given you a heads up before I jumped in. Sorry about that.”
I was still looking down at the floor, avoiding him while he twisted a q-tip around in his ear. He was oddly relaxed, not at all phased by the fact that he was standing naked in front of me, in just a towel.
“I’ll come back when you’re done,” I said quickly, turning to walk away.
“I’m not naked,” he replied coolly. “Just in case that’s what you’re freaking out about. I have underwear on underneath.”
I felt the heat pinch my cheeks.
“Okay.”
I left it at that, too uncomfortable to trust myself not to say something stupid. Besides, it wasn’t any of my business what he was or was not wearing under that towel.
Once he was done, I waited for him to go to his room and locked both doors before I got in the shower. It had already been a long day full of surprises, and I didn’t need anymore.
I tilted my head back and closed my eyes as the hot water ran down my face. It felt good to just stop for a moment and not have to worry about where to go or what to do. The trip had been great, don’t get me wrong, but almost two weeks on the road was starting to wear on me, and I was thankful for a bathroom that felt like home.
I thought about what Alice had said while I shampooed my hair. I still couldn’t believe that I had told her about our kiss, but I was even more in shock when she talked about us being in love. There was something about the way that she said it that made it feel alright and not icky. Maybe because she was able to see it from the outside and could tell that there weren’t any romantic feelings involved for either of us? Or was I simply hoping that she didn’t assume that there were any?
My mind had been foggy all evening, and while I still didn’t have the answers that I needed, I knew one thing that was for sure. John wasn’t interested in me in that way. That was crystal clear when he talked about Lily’s teacher Ms. Summers at dinner and emphasized how he wasn’t ready to start dating again any time soon and wasn’t sure that he ever would be.
I got ready for bed and tried to force my mind to shut down long enough to make up for the lack of sleep that I got last night.
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and bacon—two of my favorite things. I smiled when I bounced downstairs, seeing Alice and Charles cooking in the kitchen. The table was already set with plates full of pastries and a fruit platter that Lily was picking at when she thought no one was looking.
“It smells delicious in here,” I said when I walked in, stopping to give Lily a quick kiss on her head. “Good morning, sweet Lily. How did you sleep?”
“Good,” she replied cheerfully, popping a grape into her mouth. I was happy that her mood seemed better than it was yesterday.
“Daddy said that we could go down to the beach today,” she added, looking up at me with a smile.
“That sounds like a fun time.”
“Nana said that it should be cooler today than it was yesterday, and if the weather is good, we can take a boat ride on the ocean so I can finish another item on the bucket list. You know, the one where we sail across three different types of water?”
“I remember.” I smiled at the memory of us spending the day floating along the Rio Grande River in Taos, trying to keep our balance, so the little boat didn’t tip over.
“How many items do you have left?” Alice asked, pulling a quiche out of the oven and setting it on the trivet on the counter.
“Just two more,” Lily commented, pulling the worn piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolding it on top of the table. “If you build it, they will come. But when the water comes, you better run.”
Charles laughed, earning a cheek-splitting grin from Lily.
“Well, that sounds like an easy one,” Alice replied, adding another plate to the table. The smell of sausage and bacon floated up in front of me as I sat down, and I fought the urge to sneak a piece like Lily had been doing with the fruit.
“I think she wanted to build a sandcastle,” Lily said with a small ounce of uncertainty.
Charles scooped some scrambled eggs onto a plate and moved the skillet to the back burner. He set the plate down in front of Lily and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her with a mischievous grin.
“Not just a sandcastle. A GIANT sandcastle! Your mom always wanted to build a huge one, but it was never as big as she had envisioned it. She wanted a three-story castle, with a moat around it and flags sticking out of the top of it.”
His eyes traveled over to me as he offered a soft smile, remembering how many times she and I had sat on that beach and tried. Each attempt a disaster as the water always reached us before we could finish and wiped-out half of our castle with one quick wave.
“Well, then I guess we have our work cut out for us today,” I said, trying to find the excitement that I needed for Lily.
“But we don’t have flags.” Lily frowned.
John walked in and grinned, holding something behind his back. He bent down beside her as Charles walked over to sit down beside me.
“Do you mean flags like... these?!” He pulled out a gallon Ziplock bag that was packed full of different plastic flags.
“Where did you get those?” she asked, taking the bag from him.
“I’ve been collecting them.” He shrugged and stood up, a look of satisfaction on his face that she had the reaction he was hoping she would have.
I reached for the pitcher of orange juice and filled a glass, debating whether I should fill one for John as well. Deciding against it, I picked it up and took a drink.
“Is this one from that restaurant in Las Vegas? The one where Emma choked on a pickle?”
The acidity from the juice burned my nose on the way out as I choked—again, reaching for a napkin to dry my face.
“She did what?” Alice asked in disbelief as she joined us at the table, handing me a handful of napkins.
“Thank you,” I managed to get out before turning away to blow my nose, hoping to expel the rest of the juice.
“She choked on a bite of her pickle,” John explained calmly, looking to make sure I was okay. “We were at dinner, and they had this karaoke contest that I signed us up for but didn’t tell her until they called our names—which happened to be at the exact moment that she took a bite.”
“Oh my, I bet that was embarrassing, dear,” Alice said sympathetically.
“It was,” I replied, finally able to breathe, even though I could still feel the burn in both nostrils. “You kept the flags from my sandwich?” I asked, tilting my head at John.
“They were special.”
We stayed staring at each other for a few minutes, completely oblivious to everyone around us. I hadn’t seen him take them, but the fact that he thought that they were special was pulling at something in my heart that I couldn’t put my finger on.
“What was special about them?” Charles asked, scooping a serving of quiche onto his plate. He was oblivious to what was going on, which meant that Alice hadn’t filled him in on anything after we all went to bed last night.
“Well, I thought they were special because they came in the biggest sandwich that I had ever seen. Emma and I both ordered the club, and it was stacked so high that it was impossible to eat. Except, our sweet Emma here, tried.”
I could hear the laughter in John’s voice as he told the story, remembering how much he and Lily had laughed about that night as well. I scrunched my face and pretended to give him my best scowl.
“Why didn’t you just take it apart and eat it like a regular sandwich?” Charles asked, looking at me as he passed the plate of bacon.
I took it, thankful to finally dive in.
“Honestly, I didn’t even think about it until I saw John do it. It came as one giant piece, so I figured it should be eaten that way.”
The laughter floated around the table as I grabbed a few pieces of bacon and passed it to John.
Soon, we had our plates full, and the conversation died off while we ate. I already knew that I would regret such a heavy breakfast when we were going to spend the day at the beach. The nice thing was that the beach was literally their backyard, and we didn’t have to walk far to get to the water.
By ten o’clock, we were sitting in the sand, under an umbrella, with all the supplies that we needed to make a massive sandcastle. We made sure that we were far enough away from the water to have a couple of hours to work on it. John and Lily worked on clearing the area and smoothing it out while I dug a hole a few feet away. We needed mud to make the sand stick, so once I had a big enough hole, I went to the water and collected buckets full to take back to my hole, creating our own little mud shop.
Alice sorted through the different buckets and tools that she had brought with her while Charles set up the blanket and some chairs behind us. He had packed an ice chest full of snacks and bottles of water, even though we were close enough to go back and grab what we needed. I loved his kind heart for making it more convenient for everyone.
He had even called his friend to see if we could take a boat ride out on the ocean today, but he had a meeting in New York that he had to get to, so we scheduled for tomorrow instead. That meant that we had all day and all night to build the perfect sandcastle for Lily.
“Alright, I think we’re ready to get started,” John said, getting up to check his work. He was wearing a white t-shirt and swim trunks, yet I couldn’t stop panicking over the fact that I had seen him in his towel last night. I hadn’t been able to figure out why it had been bothering me so much until I had another dream like the one I had the other night, where Charlotte came to yell at me for trying to steal her family.
“What should we build first?” Lily asked, looking up at her dad. Her long, blonde hair was braided behind her back, and she was wearing a cute visor that Alice had loaned her to keep the sun out of her eyes so she could work.
“I say we start with the first level. We can get some sand and make a giant rectangle. That will be the main entrance into our castle.”
“Okay,” she giggled.
“I have some mud ready for you guys over here,” I said, pointing to the hole that was already starting to dry up. Well, so much for that idea.
“Perfect,” John said, walking over and bending down in front of me to fill the giant bucket he brought with him.
He reached back and set it to the side before filling another one for Lily.
“Where’s your bucket?” he asked. I felt like he was staring at me, but behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses, I couldn’t see anything.
“I don’t have a bucket.”
“Why not?”
“Why would I?”
“Because we’re building a sandcastle, and it’s going to be a lot more work if you’re planning to carry globs of mud in your hands, back and forth.”
He paused for a moment and lowered his head, tipping his sunglasses down his nose so I could see his eyes.
“Is this going to be another sandwich adventure?” he teased playfully, his cheeks dimpling from his grin.
“No.” I rolled my eyes and then wondered if he could even see me through my sunglasses. “I was on mud duty. I did my job, and now I get to sit and watch the workers do theirs,” I joked, pursing my lips.
“I don’t think so,” he grumbled, setting the bucket down next to the other one. He reached over in one quick swoop and picked me up out of the chair, tossing me over his shoulder. I squealed, praying that my bikini wasn’t getting moved around to cause a wardrobe malfunction once he put me down.
“We’re all building a sandcastle,” he said, setting me beside Lily, next to the smooth sand. He walked back and grabbed the buckets and brought them over, sitting Lily’s beside her and the other one between us as he plopped down next to me.
I could feel Alice and Charles’ eyes on us as they watched but didn’t say anything. I knew that his knees wouldn’t allow him to get down here to join us, and she had insisted that she wanted to watch and help with the decorating once it was done. That left us—just the three of us—to build this thing together.
John reached into the bucket and pulled out a handful of mud, dropping some on my leg before he slapped it down on the sand. The cold, wetness sent a chill through me as a small gust of wind passed by us.
“Hey, buddy, keep to your own side,” I joked, wiping the mud off my leg.
“There are no sides when it comes to teamwork.”
He reached in and grabbed another handful, this time purposely letting a chunk fall onto my thigh.
“You can’t be afraid to get dirty out here,” he said proudly. “We’ve got a luxurious sandcastle to build. We’re not trying to look cute for the frat boys down the beach.”
He nodded to where a group of guys were playing football—shirtless. I hadn’t even noticed them, and from the looks of it, they hadn’t seen us either, probably because there was a large group of girls in teeny tiny bikinis on the other side of them.
I huffed out a snort, laughing at how ridiculous he was being. Then it occurred to me—was he jealous?
“Well, if you don’t want the cute frat boys to look your way, then maybe stop looking theirs.” I kept my voice even, not wanting to draw Lily’s attention to another awkward conversation between her father and me.
“I wasn’t talking about me, and you know it.” He kept his voice quiet enough for only me to hear.
I glanced over at Lily, who was busy dumping her mud onto the smooth sand, frowning when it didn’t stay in the shape she had started with.
“Is there something that you want to say to me?” I snapped under my breath, turning to look at him.
“No. Nothing that would make a difference.” He leaned forward and started working his mud into a pile on the sand.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’ve already made up your mind, and I know that nothing that I say or do is going to change it.”
I pulled back as if his words had physically hurt me.
“I’m trying to do what’s best for everyone, John. For once, I’m not worried about myself or how I feel about everything. I’m only thinking about you guys and what you need.”
He stopped and leaned back on his heels, turning toward me.
“You have no idea what we need.”
It was a cold, harsh statement. One that I couldn’t argue with, even if I wanted to. How could I sit there and say that I knew what they needed when I barely even knew what I needed.
“Well then, maybe it’s for the best that I go.”
He pulled his lips together in a thin line and thought for a moment before deciding not to say anything.
I tried my best to keep it together and have fun with Lily as we worked, but my mind was scattered, and my emotions were barely holding on by a string.
Finally, around one o’clock, we stopped for lunch and took a much-needed break. We had the first two levels done and secure after several mishaps and crumbled walls. John took Lily down to play in the water for a little bit before we started working on the sandcastle again.
I laid on the beach towel with my sunglasses on and let the sun warm me up. Alice was sitting beside me on another towel, reading a book while Charles scanned the sand for hidden treasures with his metal detector.
“I wanted to talk to you about last night,” Alice said, setting her book down next to her. I turned to look at her, pulling my glasses down, so she had my full attention. I braced myself for what she was about to say and knew that she had every right to be upset with me for falling in love with her son-in-law.
“Okay,” I said softly when she didn’t say anything more.
“We started talking about love, and I could see that it made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry about that. Sometimes, I don’t think before I talk, and it makes for a messy situation later.”
I rolled onto my side, adjusting my swimsuit to make sure it stayed in place.
“There are different kinds of love, Emma. But what I was talking about with you and John, that’s been there for as long as I can remember. It’s the kind of love that starts as a friendship and then turns into being best friends before anything else. It’s where they know you so well that they can read your mood without you having to say anything. It’s them surprising you with your favorite food when they know you’ve had a bad day or when you have something to celebrate. It’s all of the little things that we don’t stop to think about, but we feel them when they’re missing, and there’s suddenly a void inside of us.”
Memories of the past few weeks rushed through my mind with all the things that John had been doing for me. From taking care of me when I was sick to getting me my favorite foods to eat without me having to ask. Making sure that I had my own room and some privacy when we would stay at a hotel. Spoiling me rotten on my birthday. Almost every single day, he had done something special for me, and I didn’t always see it. I had gotten so used to him taking care of me and doing nice things for me that I hadn’t noticed just how much he was doing.
“I know that you’re afraid of falling in love, Emma. And I understand why. But I think that you’re running because suddenly it feels too real, and it scares you. I’m not suggesting that you guys rush off and start a romantic relationship, but I don’t think that you’re being very fair to either of you by pushing him away.”
I rolled onto my back and pushed the sunglasses up to hide my eyes as the tears slid down the sides of my face.