FAQ

Why do we meditate with eyes open?

This is an awareness practice and so we are encouraging ourselves to stay present with whatever is going on. Eyes open reduces the chances of you zoning out. That said, if you find yourself overly zealous or distracted, you can lower the gaze until your eyes are open just a sliver. If you must close your eyes, just be aware that it’s easier to lose track of the practice without that visual reference point. In this case I recommend using sound as the object of meditation.

I can’t sit on the floor. Can I sit in a chair?

Yes. If you sit in a chair, find a relatively stable one (not too much cushion, which could displace your spinal alignment) place your feet flat on the floor, and try to sit without leaning on the back of the chair. Try to keep the spine upright and aligned, hands on the thighs.

I feel like all I do is think. I don’t feel any peace at all. What am I doing wrong?

This is normal. At first it may seem like the shamatha practice is anything but peaceful. What it means is that you are finally slowing down enough to observe your thoughts, so you are aware of things you may not have previously been aware of. It may feel overwhelming, like the rush of a waterfall. Simply stay with the practice of noticing each thought, and allowing that thought to dissolve as you let it go and return to the breath.

My legs fall asleep after a few minutes. What should I do?

It is fine to make adjustments to the posture in order to keep awareness fresh. Rather than making a knee-jerk reaction however, notice the impulse to move, and see if you can recognize that impulse as a thought. Let that thought go and return to the breath. If the pain persists, simply shift your leg position and continue meditating until the pain goes away. Then return to your original sitting posture.

Should I breathe through my nose?

You should just breathe naturally and observe the breath without trying to do anything particular to it. If it is deep, fine. If it is shallow, fine. Simply observe.

Is it okay to have shallow breathing?

This is fine. Simply observe whatever is happening. I like Thich Nhat Hanh’s instruction on this:

Breathing in, I am aware that I’m breathing in

Breathing out, I am aware that I’m breathing out

Can I recite a mantra?

In many schools of Buddhism, practitioners repeat mantras such as om mani padma hum. But this is a different approach to practice than using the breath as the object of focus. If reciting a mantra helps you to stay more focused, by all means use one. But the practice of shamatha using the breath as the object of focus is a powerful practice because the breath is slightly more subtle. It allows more room for the mind to play, so you get more opportunity to observe the patterns of your mind. Think of the breath as your mantra.

I feel so tight or sleepy when I try to meditate first thing in the morning. What can I do?

It can be helpful to do some simple stretching or yoga postures, or breathing exercises before sitting first thing in the morning. Hip openers especially are useful for settling into a stable meditation posture.

How do I know if I am progressing in meditation practice?

As the great yogi Milarepa mentioned (above), signs of progress in meditation are a lessening of self-importance and a decrease in emotional reactivity. Other signs are an ability to stay present and focused, as well as the arising of a pervading sense of contentment or even joy!

I can meditate fine in a group but it’s nearly impossible to meditate alone at home. Any suggestions?

Start small, and set goals. Like adopting any new habit, simply include it in your daily routine in small doses at first. Five minutes in the morning, and again in the evening. Once you start to see some results, it will get easier.

How long should I meditate?

This is relative to you and your life. It’s better to meditate regularly for short periods than to sit for a big chunk of time once a month. Go for five or ten minutes a day, twice a day to begin with. Eventually an hour a day is considered a respectable discipline. But do what feels reasonable and don’t set yourself up for failure with unattainable goals. Five minutes every day is better than an hour at the weekend.

I don’t know anyone who meditates and there is no group near me. How can I keep my discipline at home?

There are many online resources these days. Check the section in this book called “Online Resources for Meditation Practice.”