Beth sat in Finn’s truck as he drove them both into Brightwater’s town center and tried to ignore the nervousness roiling in her gut.
She didn’t even know why she was nervous.
Actually, no, she knew why she was nervous. She and Finn were going into town to let everyone know that not only was she pregnant but also that she’d be moving in with him, and oh hey, they were getting married as well.
A surprise, sure, but no big deal.
They were going to visit the gallery first so she could tell Indigo and Izzy, then go on to HQ to inform Chase and Levi, then…whoever else was around, she guessed.
Izzy would be thrilled at the thought of her marrying Finn, and Indigo would be too, no matter how snarky she’d been earlier. Chase and Levi? Who knew? And the rest of the town…what would they think of her marrying one of their own? Sheri had grown up here, had been one of them, but Beth wasn’t. She was an outsider, an interloper. Would they accept her? And more important, would they accept her and Finn’s child?
“Don’t be nervous.” Finn gave her a quick glance before he looked back at the road. “Everyone will be okay with it.”
“I’m not nervous,” Beth lied, rubbing her hands on her thighs. “I’m fine.”
One corner of his mouth curved. “Sure you are.”
Damn, but he was gorgeous with that half smile of his.
He was gorgeous all the time, of course, but particularly when there was a tantalizing glimpse of that smile.
Not that it was his smile that had made her say yes to him the evening before, or even the way he’d teased her and given her the most intense pleasure. Sure, the sausage rolls he’d fed her after they’d come back downstairs had helped, and the eclairs he’d given her for dessert after she’d filled up on the delicious casserole he’d cooked had made her feel good about her decision, but she’d already said it by that stage.
She’d said yes because it was clear to her that he needed her to. He’d been so fierce when he’d asked her, his dark eyes full of intensity. It had been important to him—she could see that. Important that his child have his name, that they be a family.
Plus a small part of her had been thrilled when he’d told her she was the first woman he’d been with in five years—then been even more thrilled when he’d told her she was special.
She hadn’t known she’d even wanted to be special to him until that moment.
You’d better not be hoping for more of that.
Oh, she wasn’t. He’d been very clear about what he could give her, and she was fine with that. Sex and support, blankets and delicious food, and the odd endearment—what more could a girl want?
Of course she’d said yes. And if he’d said he didn’t love her, then what of it? She didn’t love him either, so it wasn’t an issue. You could marry someone without loving them. You totally could. Just as you could love someone without marrying them.
After all, she’d thought she loved Troy and they’d talked off and on about getting married, but he’d never actually asked her. Not even after she’d gotten pregnant. In fact, she’d been debating bringing it up with him, since even though her parents’ marriage had been dire, she’d still wanted it for herself.
She’d wanted to have the kind of family she’d dreamed of when she was younger, of parents who loved each other, no one criticizing or hurting each other. A family where a child could grow up without feeling suffocated by all the negative emotions that lingered in the air or feel as if they were being judged and picked at.
Finn wouldn’t be a parent like that, she knew already. Even though they weren’t in love, he wouldn’t vanish suddenly like Troy had, without a word. Finn was up-front and honest, and he’d made it very clear that he took his responsibilities seriously.
She could do worse than marry him. It would make it easier with the town too. Marrying a local would ensure their child would be totally accepted.
I don’t love you. That’s why it works.
No. She wasn’t thinking about that again.
“Okay, so I might be a little nervous,” she admitted. “Indigo and Izzy will be fine. It’s the rest of the town I’m worried about.”
“You shouldn’t be,” Finn said. “They’re all desperately concerned for my well-being, and me getting married and having a kid will be a weight off their minds.”
Beth thought of the gossip she’d heard about Finn from various people around the town and the look in their eyes when they spoke of him. “I guess so.”
“And I’ll be relieved not to be asked ten times a day how I’m doing.”
His voice was very dry and the sardonic humor in it made her smile. She knew how that went.
“That’s kind of why I left Deep River,” she said. “People kept looking at me like ‘oh there’s the poor depressed girl who lost her baby.’” She’d meant him to smile at that and she was gratified that he did, appreciating her black humor. “I got sick of it. I didn’t want to be the poor depressed girl who lost her baby anymore. So when the opportunity to come out to Brightwater Valley presented itself, I took it.”
Finn glanced at her. “You wanted a new life, huh?”
“Yeah. A new life and a new future.” She rubbed her pendant between her fingers. “I wanted to leave the old me behind, the depressed me. I wanted to be a…different person here.”
Finn didn’t speak, but she knew he was listening.
“I wanted to be a positive and happy person,” she went on. “A ‘silver linings, count your blessings’ kind of person. I thought it would be easy since no one knew me or my past. But…” She stopped because this wasn’t exactly being positive or happy. This was depressing.
“Hate to tell you this,” Finn said, “but I knew all of your cheerful crap was a total lie. It always felt kind of fake.”
Beth stared at him. “What? Really?”
“Yeah.” He gave her another of his dark, enigmatic glances. “I think that’s why I found you difficult. Because it felt totally fake, and I didn’t know what you were trying to do or trying to prove.”
She blinked, feeling vulnerable, as if he’d ripped away a disguise she’d been wearing. “Oh,” she said. “That’s…embarrassing.”
“It was only me, honey.” His voice was quietly reassuring. “I don’t think anyone else felt the same way. Actually, I know no one else felt the same way because I told Chase that once and he looked at me as if I was crazy and wouldn’t hear a word said against you.”
She studied his strong profile.
He wasn’t looking at her, keeping his eyes on the road, but his large, capable hands on the steering wheel were loose and the tension she’d always seen in him seemed to be absent today.
Was it her agreeing to marry him? Or the sex? Or was it only that, now they had a direction and a decision had been made, he was more relaxed?
Perhaps it didn’t matter. Perhaps all that mattered was that he was at peace with it.
“I’m glad someone was on my side,” she said lightly, part of her annoyed that he’d seen through her, while another part was secretly relieved. Because now that he knew, she didn’t have to pretend. “You might wish for me to start being fake again. Especially after the baby is born.”
He gave her another fleeting glance, the glitter of something complicated and fierce in his eyes. “No, I won’t. You don’t have to fake anything with me, Beth. You never have to fake anything with me. Got it?”
She swallowed, a small lump forming in her throat. “Yes.”
“Your previous boyfriend, Troy, right? He out of the picture?”
“Yes and pretty much completely. He didn’t do grief or depression or any of that tough stuff, and after I lost the baby, he just…up and left.”
Anger flickered briefly across Finn’s face. “Good. Sounds like an asshole to me. And just so we’re clear, I’m not going to be like him. I don’t run away when things get hard. I’ll be around for the duration.”
The lump in her throat got bigger. “Okay.”
“I think we probably need to talk more about how this is going to work.” Finn was clearly on a roll now. “But I want to get our announcement out of the way first.”
Last night it had been late after they’d finished dinner and dessert, and she’d been tired. So he’d tucked her up in his bed, telling her he’d call the farmhouse to let Indigo know she’d be staying over.
She expected him to sleep with her, but if he had, she hadn’t noticed, since she’d been alone when she’d fallen asleep and alone when she’d woken up that morning.
They’d talked a lot over dinner about how they were going to tell people and when she’d move in—all the practical stuff and nothing at all personal. Which was fine and she’d gone along with it. But…was that how their marriage was going to be? Discussions on practical matters and nothing else?
He’d said he wanted to get to know her though, so maybe not. Maybe there would be more. Eventually.
“Yes, fine,” she said.
“That reminds me…” He hesitated slightly, which was uncharacteristic of him, then went on, “I should have told you earlier, but…Chase already knows.”
Beth frowned. “Chase already knows what?”
“He knows that we slept together. And he knows you’re pregnant.”
An unexpected stab of anger caught her. She’d been very clear she hadn’t wanted people to know and Finn had agreed.
“How?” she demanded. “Did you tell him?”
“Yes.” Finn was unflinching. “I did.”
“Why?”
“Because he made a comment about my good mood after we slept together and wondered if it was because I’d gotten laid.”
Oh great. Men.
“So, what? You just decided to tell him? After we agreed to keep it secret?”
They’d come into town by this stage, Finn pulling into the gravel parking area in front of HQ and stopping the truck.
Then he turned his full attention on her. “Chase isn’t a gossip. I told him not to say a word, and he wouldn’t—didn’t. I thought it wasn’t going to go anywhere then, and he already knew I was attracted to you because he’s my brother and he knows me too well.”
Beth bit her lip. “And the pregnancy?”
“Again, he’s my brother. And he has a kid himself. I needed his advice.”
As quickly as it had come, her anger dissipated.
She couldn’t be mad at him. Chase would certainly pick up on Finn’s moods, because while Chase might be a bit of an ass, he was also a perceptive ass unfortunately. And she couldn’t fault Finn for wanting his brother’s advice either, especially after finding out he was going to be a father.
Hell, it was a moot point now; everyone was going to find out anyway.
She sighed. “Well, okay then. I guess that’s all allowed.”
Finn stared at her a moment longer, the fierce light in his eyes burning. Then he reached out, and before she could move, his fingers were in her hair and he was bringing her in close and his mouth was on hers.
She gave another little sigh, this one of pleasure as his lips moved on hers, warm and very, very welcome.
It was a deep, slow kiss, and she didn’t even realize that there had been a purpose to it until he let her go and she realized that Bill was sitting outside his shop, Mystery the mystery dog sitting near but not too near him, and had seen them.
“Uh, as announcements go,” she murmured, “that’s quite something.”
Finn smiled, making her breath catch, because truly, when he smiled, the whole world really did light up.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go turn this town upside down.”
***
Finn got out of the truck and went around to Beth’s side, opening the door for her and handing her out. Then he curled his fingers around hers, settling her hand in his.
It was a declaration—just as he’d seen Bill sitting there and decided that the kiss should be a declaration. He wanted everyone to know that she was his, and what better way to do so than to kiss her in front of the town’s biggest gossip?
She was blushing adorably now, which made her look even prettier, even though she was still in yesterday’s sundress—not that he was complaining at all since that sundress looked bloody great on her.
He definitely wasn’t complaining about the kiss mark on the side of her neck either, the one that he’d put there yesterday.
His mark, which satisfied him a great deal. Turned out he was kind of a caveman about certain things.
“Bill?” Beth murmured as they walked toward the general store and the gallery. “Really? He’s the first one to know?”
“Technically Chase was the first person to know. But Bill’s great. Once he knows, the rest of the town will before the end of the day.”
“True.” Her fingers squeezed his. “You’re a sneaky bugger, Finn Kelly.”
Warmth glowed in his chest at the teasing note in her voice. God, but he loved it when she said stuff like that to him. He wasn’t sure why.
Sure you do.
He shoved that thought away, hard.
“Nice use of Kiwi slang,” he said instead. “I think you’re getting the hang of it.”
She gave him a sassy grin that made him want to kiss her again. “I try.”
“Enjoy those sausage rolls, did you?” Bill said as they passed by the general store, his gaze dropping to their linked hands and then back up again.
“You could say that.” Finn paused by the wooden bench Bill was sitting on. Mystery thumped his tail but made no move to beg for treats. The dog knew that Finn was already taken. “Thanks, Bill. The eclairs were excellent too.”
Bill glanced at Beth, then back at him again. “You don’t say.”
Finn had another reason he’d wanted Bill Preston to be the first to know, not only that he and Beth were together but about the baby too; the townspeople were quite protective of their own, and Beth was an outsider. Bill had also been one of the people who hadn’t been happy with the influx from Deep River and had been vocal about it, and Finn didn’t want him being unpleasant to Beth out of some misguided protective impulse.
So he looked the old man in the eye and said, “Beth agreed last night to be my wife.” He paused a moment and then added, “And we’re expecting our first baby.”
Bill’s blue eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open.
Beth’s fingers in his tightened, and he gave her a little reassuring squeeze in return. If anyone was awful to her, he would punch them in the face, so help him.
“Is this true?” Bill just about leapt off his seat, staring at Beth, who’d gone three different shades of pink. “You’re expecting?”
“Yes. It’s true.”
Much to Finn’s shock, Bill suddenly turned to him and gave him a sharp, fierce hug. “Oh, my boy,” he said thickly. “I hoped you’d find happiness again and you have. That’s such wonderful news.” Then the old man released him and stepped back, looking up at Finn and grinning hugely, his blue eyes a touch misty. “Wonderful…just wonderful.”
Mystery gave a bark in agreement.
Finn was still struggling to process that when Bill went on, “And to such a lovely girl too.” He gave Beth the same misty-eyed glance but mercifully spared her a hug. “That’s special…just very, very special.”
Beth abruptly dropped Finn’s hand, stepped forward, and gave the old man a hug herself. “Thanks, Bill. I appreciate it.”
Bill smiled and patted Beth on the shoulder. “You take care of this one for me, won’t you?” Obviously meaning Finn.
“Of course I will,” Beth said. “Don’t you worry.” She reached out and took Finn’s hand again. “Come on, Mr. Kelly. We have some other people to tell.”
Then she pulled him away in the direction of the gallery.
“That was…unexpected,” he muttered, still unable to get over Bill’s reaction. “I thought he’d be less…”
“Like he was going to cry?” Beth was smiling. “He must care a lot about you.”
Finn could hear the question in her tone, and since there wasn’t any reason not to tell her, he said, “Bill used to look out for Chase and me when we were kids. Dad got into the drink after Mum died, and he often forgot to buy food, so Bill would give us stuff from the store. Make sure we got fed.”
They came to the door of the gallery and paused outside it.
Beth was looking at him concernedly. “Really? How awful for you. I didn’t know that.”
Finn shrugged. “Ancient history. It’s fine.” He decided not to tell her about how Bill had tried to push food and other things on him after Sheri had died.
What? Did you think people didn’t care?
No, he knew they did. He just…hadn’t wanted to have to deal with their worry for him on top of his own grief, and clearly Bill had been worried for him.
I hoped you’d find happiness again…
Yeah, and that made him a touch uncomfortable because Bill clearly thought he and Beth were in love, which wasn’t the case at all. This was a marriage of necessity rather than feeling, and he wasn’t happy with lying about it.
Are you really lying? Doesn’t she make you happy?
Yeah, no, he wasn’t going there. Just as he wasn’t going to go around explaining the exact nature of his and Beth’s relationship.
Easier to give people the facts and let them draw their own conclusions, even if they were the wrong ones.
Beth’s gaze became sharp, clearly not believing his “it’s fine” take on it, but he didn’t want to get into a deep and meaningful discussion with her right here on the street, so he pushed the door of the gallery open and, still holding her hand, strode in.
Izzy was at the counter, with Chase on the opposite side, while Indigo sat on top of it with her project bag held protectively on her lap, a disapproving look on her face. Levi had leaned a provocative elbow on the counter right next to Indigo and was obviously in the middle of pissing her off.
The four of them all looked up at as the door opened.
“Beth!” Izzy exclaimed. “We were wondering where…” She trailed off, her gaze dropping to where Beth’s hand was safely enclosed in Finn’s.
Chase noticed too and Finn didn’t miss the grin that spread across his face.
Indigo’s eyebrows shot up, her mouth opening.
“Hey,” Levi said. “You two are holding hands. Don’t know whether you’ve noticed that or not. Just thought I’d point it out.”
“Yeah.” Finn met four pairs of eyes squarely in turn. “I’d noticed. And before anyone says anything, Beth and I have an announcement.” He glanced at her. “Do you want to go first?”
She was obviously nervous, so he squeezed her hand again, letting her know she wasn’t doing this alone, that he was with her.
She smiled gratefully, making a warm feeling unfurl inside his chest, then she turned to the others. “Okay, so, I’m pregnant. And, uh…Finn asked me to marry him.”
“Oh my God!” Indigo squealed, her project bag slipping from her fingers and onto the floor. “Seriously?”
Levi, who was clearly far too close to the squeal, put a finger in his ear and wiggled it. Then his handsome face broke into a smile and he shoved himself away from the counter, striding over to where Finn stood and clapping him on the back. “Mate, that’s great news! And so totally unexpected.”
Finn realized that he’d been subconsciously bracing himself, ready to square up to anyone who might criticize his decision, and in fact he hadn’t expected anyone to simply be pleased for him. A tension he hadn’t known was there, prickling through his muscles, eased and he found himself grinning back at his friend. “Thanks. And don’t tell me you knew already.”
“You really thought I wouldn’t see the way you looked at Beth?” Levi’s hazel eyes took on a wicked glint. “Good catch there, mate. Stole her away before I could get to her.”
Beth laughed. “Like you could.”
The look on Levi’s face became suddenly smoldering. “That’s because you haven’t seen me bring out the big guns yet.”
Indigo had jumped off the counter and was now sidling past Levi to get to Beth. “Shut up about your big gun,” she muttered. “I bet it’s not even that big.”
“Baby, don’t tempt me,” Levi purred.
Luckily Indigo didn’t seem to have heard, too busy throwing her arms around Beth’s neck and giving her a hug.
Meanwhile Chase had approached, doing a good job of pretending to be totally surprised by the news when of course he wasn’t. “Good to hear, little brother.” He gave Finn a clap on the back too. “Always hoped I’d be an uncle.”
Izzy had rushed to join Indigo in hugging Beth to death, the pair of them obviously thrilled, which pleased Finn to no end. Not that he’d thought they wouldn’t be supportive; it was just nice to know they were actively pleased for her too, since he didn’t like the thought of Beth having no one at all.
“So that was morning sickness?” Indigo was asking her. “That day when you were ill on the couch and Levi was being a dick?”
“Hey,” Levi said, sounding injured. “I was not being a dick. I was being a gentleman and giving a lady a ride home.”
“So,” Chase said expansively, squeezing Finn’s shoulder, “I think this calls for a celebration at the Rose tonight. What do you think?”
“Amen,” Levi muttered fervently. “A—the hell—men.”
Izzy fluttered her hands. “Oh yes, let’s do that. But I want to organize it.”
“Sweetheart,” Chase said patiently, “it’s not an event, there’s nothing to organize.”
“And I just told Bill,” Finn added. “Drop a word to him and the whole town will be there.”
He wanted the town to be there, he realized. He wanted his brother and Levi there. He wanted Izzy and Indigo and Gus and all the people who were important to him to be there.
He wanted everyone to be there. Because this was a goddamn celebration and it had been too long since he’d had anything to celebrate. He had a baby coming, and soon they’d be a family together, and the thought made him…
Yeah, okay. It made him happy. And he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been simply…happy. Without any complications or expectations. There had been moments out in the bush or with the horses when he’d been content. Peaceful. But he hadn’t felt like this, where thinking about the future made him feel hopeful instead of…well, nothing.
Beth laughed, warm and free, and he thought if sunshine could be turned into a sound, it would be the sound of Beth’s laugh. It lit up those dark places in his soul.
He looked at her, unable to drag his gaze away. She was glowing, her hair in that messy bun he found so sexy and the green of her eyes enhanced by her dress. Her lush mouth had curved into the most gorgeous smile as Izzy excitedly gave her yet another hug, and there was nothing fake about this smile, nothing forced. As if she was as genuinely happy about the future as he was, and that made him happy too—that being with him was something that pleased her.
It’s her. She makes you happy. Go on, admit it.
Well, and what if she did? He could allow that, couldn’t he? It wasn’t love and it never would be, because he’d given his heart to one woman already and she’d taken it with her when she’d died. He couldn’t give away what he didn’t have.
So yeah, Beth did make him happy.
And he was fine with it. Absolutely fine.
“She said yes, I take it?” Chase asked from beside him.
“What do you think?” Finn watched his lovely fiancée, unable to look away as she stood there glowing while the other two women asked her excited questions.
“And you’re okay with it?”
Finn knew what his brother was really asking him. Are you okay with getting married again? After Sheri?
“Obviously I’m okay with it.” He kept his voice very neutral. “I wouldn’t have asked her if I wasn’t.”
“But you thought it all through, right?”
Yeah, they were not going to have that conversation here. They were not going to have that conversation at all.
Finn turned and looked at his brother. “It’s okay, Chase. I’m fine.”
But Chase’s gray gaze was far too perceptive, far too knowing. “Are you though? Have you talked about it with her?”
“No,” Finn said far more sharply than he’d meant to, his patience thinning.
Chase opened his mouth, obviously wanting to say more, hesitating then shutting it again.
Good choice.
Finn took a breath. “Let me have this moment, Chase, okay? I just…want to be happy without all that other shit getting in the way.”
His brother nodded slowly, then glanced over to where Beth stood. “Sure. But make sure she knows where you stand.” He looked back at Finn again and he was not smiling this time. “Because she looks really happy, and I’d hate to see her get hurt.”
“She knows,” he said flatly. “Don’t worry, I told her.”
Yet this didn’t seem to make Chase any happier. He only gave Finn an oddly assessing glance before nodding and moving over to give his congrats to Beth.
She reached up to give his brother a hug, then glanced over at him and smiled, green eyes dancing, and Finn felt an echo of that strong, powerful emotion he’d experienced the night before twist hard in his chest.
Does she really know?
She should. He’d been clear about what he was prepared to give her. She hadn’t protested. She hadn’t said a word.
Which was great. Because he didn’t want her to fall in love with him, just like he didn’t want to fall in love with her. And they wouldn’t. They would be…married friends. Who slept together.
It was good.
Everything was going to work out just fine.