We live in a world of duality, where good and evil, light and dark coexist. The truth is, both light and darkness live within us and we are continually confronted with this duality. When you work with energy for the purpose of healing, what are you doing? You are acknowledging and releasing any darkness from within; learning to protect yourself from darkness that comes to you from outside; and infusing yourself, others, and your environment with brighter light.
What is inner darkness? Basically, it is your resistance to knowing the truth about yourself. It is only by admitting your human failings and standing in the light of your inner beauty and wisdom that your energy flows freely. If you see yourself as a failure or no good, this negative image of yourself will cause blockages in your energy flow. By freeing the blockages and releasing the stuck energy, you open up room for the light to come in and banish the darkness. When the part of you that seeks oneness and the light is more powerful than the part of you that wants to hide from the truth, your dark energy can be transmuted and your life will be brighter. This is the promise of energy healing.
You are born of the light. Yet even when you were in the womb, you could absorb negative energy. As an infant you could pick up on negativity from the life situations of your parents and caregivers. The less you pay attention to this negativity, the more it grabs hold of you. And then there are your own dark feelings. It’s best to recognize your darkness—any jealousies, judgments, insecurities, pettiness, and hatred—so you can release it and begin changing your life.
We all have a dark side. During my own journey, I’ve had a lot of darkness come to me from the outside. I also created a fair amount of darkness inside myself, especially jealousy and pride, which are classic negative emotions for someone who’s insecure. This was a big issue for me, but I learned to tackle these dark emotions by journaling. We can’t change what we don’t see, so again, the first step is always recognizing what’s going on inside you.
When you really desire something, darkness will often make you a tempting offer. How far, for example, will you go to get that inheritance, the big promotion, or the top prize? When you resort to lying, cheating, manipulating, or trampling over someone else to get what you want, the darkness wins. And when you give in to using negative means to get what you desire, you become a little darker yourself. But the most damage comes from the lies you tell yourself, especially when you cover them up with your ego and pride.
Each of us has negative feelings, such as jealousy, bitterness, shame, anger, vengeance, or insecurity. If you ignore, hide, or deny these emotions, the darkness can get the upper hand and cause problems for you. So the best way to fend them off is to be conscious of your thoughts and feelings so you can process them and let them go. Being aware of your feelings will help keep the darkness at bay.
You also must maintain your personal power. This includes keeping your mind free of exposure to evil and violence as it comes to you from your environment: television, movies, books, or whatever you’re reading or watching online. It’s best not to spend time absorbing the darkness of others, even if they are fictional characters. When you allow darkness into your life, it slips into you through the holes and cracks in your energy field. These fissures are there because of the emotions you’ve left unprocessed and the traumas you’ve left unresolved. Darkness also creeps into your field when you neglect your body. Abusing alcohol or prescription drugs, eating junk food, and not getting enough sleep or exercise or even sun are open invitations for negative energy to seek you out. Check out chapter 15, “Your Personal Healing Plan,” for recommendations to help you out of dark times.
Now let’s talk about the specific types of darkness and get some tools for dealing with them.
Psychic attacks occur when people aim their shadow side in your direction. It’s when your mother-in-law gives you the evil eye or your ex badmouths you years after the divorce. It’s when a “frenemy” gives you the cold shoulder because the boss is paying more attention to you than to her. It’s when a parent, instead of being proud of your accomplishments, is actually jealous of your success. It’s when an abuser or a stalker makes you a target.
When you are under attack, it’s hard to stay in balance. You’re scared by these people’s potential for violence and overwhelmed by their anger or jealousy. And you can’t stop thinking about them. It’s as if you were tied together in a dance of destruction. Well, you really are tied together. You are corded to each other through strong negative energy.
Cords are streamers of light that connect us to each other, chakra to chakra. For example, if I send out a cord from my heart chakra to you, it will go to your heart chakra. Cords are connected on the fourth level of the universal energy field, beyond our normal three-dimensional space. Even when someone dies, our cords with that person can continue after death.
A cord might be a good cord, as in an exchange of love, or maybe we cord from third chakra to third chakra with mutual respect. A negative cord can be established by any kind of abuse. When I was sexually abused, robbed of my childhood innocence, that created a negative cord from the abuser’s second chakra to my second chakra, yet he also corded me in a positive way with love coming from his heart chakra to mine. In confusing situations like this, it is important to strengthen the good cords in order to maintain the relationship. For example, when I started to deal with the effects of the sexual abuse instead of burying the traumas of my painful childhood, I was able to forgive my abuser and strengthen the loving cord between our heart chakras. Cords are willingly shared between sender and receiver. Even though we were negatively corded through the sexual abuse, our connection was basically warm and loving.
The kind of negative energy that people share with one another through cords can be fairly easily remedied by practicing an exercise called the Sweeping Breath, found at the end of this chapter.
In some instances a powerful force that’s completely out of your control might be affecting you. I’m referring to vectors of force—streams of dark energy more powerful than cords. Vectors are not consented to by the person receiving them. A vector is like an arrow that’s pointed at you; you are vulnerable if you’ve left a hole in your field from drugs, greed, hate, jealousy—any of the myriad ways that we can mess ourselves up. If someone has targeted you with a vector, some part of your life will feel like it isn’t under your control, and most likely it isn’t. Vectors, unlike cords, are always negative and are difficult for receivers to release or undo by themselves. It takes a lot of training to be able to remove a vector. If you suspect you are a target of a vector, the Advanced Recapitulation exercise found at the end of this chapter is the perfect antidote.
Again, the best way to keep psychic attacks away is to keep your personal energy field strong by maintaining a healthy body and a positive attitude.
Energy vampires use a form of psychic attack that drains you of your energy. They tend to make a big deal out of nothing, thus earning the title of “drama queens.” Even minor mishaps become major tragedies. They complain about everything, especially their illnesses. In this way, they attract your attention and steal your positive energy. They may also criticize you so they feel better about themselves. Typically, they blame everyone but themselves for their problems.
After an encounter with an energy vampire, you might feel exhausted, sad, or depressed and sense that your positive energy has been drained, leaving you empty and sluggish. You may try for hours to restore your sense of self by eating, sleeping, or shopping.
Sometimes you’re just too nice and feel the need to help these destructive individuals. Energy vampires can lure you in with their shy, soft-spoken, and charmingly seductive ways. Since they are perpetually discharging negative energy, they have a continual need to refill their energy gas tank time and again by siphoning off yours.
It’s up to you to avoid energy vampires. The good news is it’s easy to do. First of all, spend as little time as possible with them. Learn how to cut off their conversations with something like “Gotta go, my dinner is burning on the stove!” or some other situation that needs your immediate attention. It’s also important to stay as calm and detached as possible from their negative energy. Resist the urge to fix their problems or rescue them; just walk away. If you can, it’s also best to avoid being in close proximity to them in tight spaces, like elevators, and to avoid any eye contact. Stand up for yourself and protect your boundaries.
Of course, sometimes it’s your mother, or sibling, or in-law that is the energy vampire in your life. What can you do then? The first thing is to become aware of what type of energy vampire you are facing. There are five types of energy vampires, which correspond to the five mind/body types we learned about in chapter 12. Each type needs to be approached somewhat differently.
The betrayed energy vampire (the psychopathic mind/body type): The karmic theme of the betrayed type of energy vampire is self-sacrifice and victory in battle. Their experience of being a warrior in past lives taught them there were enemies who may have betrayed or even killed them. They are still trying to win the war; everyone is an enemy, and life is a battleground. Their energy fields are highly charged on the upper half of the body. Their aggression projects their energy outward to anyone in their path. Don’t argue with this energy vampire, and don’t make eye contact. Lower your voice and make it softer; don’t try to change their distorted view of the world. They have to win at any cost; they push you to get you to argue with them so they can prove that they are right and you are wrong.
The fear-based energy vampire (the schizoid mind/body type): The karmic situation of fear-based energy vampires is that these poor souls were tortured to death in past lives because of their metaphysical beliefs or their spiritual practices. The only escape was in leaving the body. They were afraid to incarnate in this lifetime and are too frightened to take up full residence in their physical body. They have a hard time relating to linear time, since they spend so much time in the spiritual realms. When they need to function here on the physical plane, they can become angry and aggressive, and thus turn into an energy vampire. Your best bet handling this type is avoidance.
The insecure energy vampire (the oral mind/body type): These people have been through many lifetimes when there wasn’t enough food or love to nurture them. They may have also been abandoned in their present life and are scared of it happening again. They are afraid that everyone else is draining their energy, so they compensate by sucking energy from others. They may speak very softly, so it’s hard to hear their long, boring talk. Classically, they are compulsive types who may be overweight or susceptible to all sorts of addictive behavior. They are always trying to prove that they are not worthy of your attention. They come across as helpless and insist you take care of their needs. Don’t stand right in front of this vampire, or make eye contact. Don’t offer to do anything for them, but do give verbal encouragement. They are living in fear of rejection and abandonment, but don’t let your pity for them turn you into their victim.
The passive-aggressive energy vampire (masochistic mind/body type): During their past incarnations, these people were trapped and controlled by others, unable to express themselves. They may have been slaves, prisoners, or those victimized by religions or governments. They want freedom and are angry and resentful that their fear prevents them from claiming it. They withdraw from the world but want others to grant them permission to come into the world. They demand and at the same time resist your input. Others may interfere with their development, complete their sentences, and take them for granted. Their internal world is not clear but rather filled with half-formed fantasies and ideas. They imprison themselves and project loneliness, desperation, and resentment, since they cannot express their anger. They usually want your advice but will reject your suggestions. Resist the urge to give advice to this type.
The robot energy vampire (the rigid mind/body type): During past lifetimes, this type was probably in charge of running things and had to keep up the appearance of being perfect in order to survive. Their outer world is perfect, but their core essence is blocked off as they deny the validity of their inner world. They are usually very successful, have a good reputation and a “perfect” spouse and family, and look like they are in perfect health. Others envy them and come to them with their problems. Robot types never complain. They are perfect, and their world is beautiful, as long as they can maintain the illusion. This type can be best observed from a distance.
The slimer energy villain will hit you with one of the most common types of low-level psychic attack. These are the people who figuratively “slime” you with their negative energy. They can be the guy who cuts you off in traffic or the rude woman in so-called customer service who bites off your head. If your energy field is vulnerable (that is, has a hole in it), you are susceptible and even the briefest online or phone encounter can do it.
So what happens to you when you get slimed? You get thrown off track. You feel lousy and don’t know why. Maybe you start coming down with a cold, or your old issues surface and you have a sudden urge to wolf down a bag of chips. A small hole in your energy field is enough to allow negative energy to slip in, and the way it shows up in you depends on the location of that hole. If it’s near your heart chakra, you may feel grief as old feelings of betrayal surface. If the hole is in a lower chakra, you might turn to one of your old addictive patterns of behavior. Usually the sliming isn’t deliberate and is unconscious on the part of the slimer but that doesn’t make it any less invasive.
Negative energy can fall on you anytime and can leave a footprint in your energy field. Maybe someone is jealous of you at work and always tries to tear you down in front of the boss, or maybe you pass someone on the sidewalk who is wrought with negative vibes and some of it brushes off on you. There is a powerful energy technique, called the Sweeping Breath, which will help you get your health and vibrancy back. It is thousands of years old and comes from the ancient Mexican Toltec tradition. The Toltec shamans taught that there are cobweblike filaments (also known as bioplasmic streamers) that project out of what they call the “luminous mass” (the human energy field). These filaments are propelled by emotions. Every situation or exchange of energy where feelings are involved can potentially drain your energy field.
Carlos Castaneda, whose books describe his fictional apprenticeship in Toltec shamanism with Don Juan Matus, a Yaqui “man of knowledge,” shared his experience with this technique in the following parable. It goes something like this: When Castaneda met Don Juan in the desert, Don Juan told him to make a list of everyone he had ever known.1 When he returned to the shaman sometime later, Don Juan had him go to a solitary place and do the Sweeping Breath for every single relationship so he could clear the energy he may have picked up in that relationship and, at the same time, retrieve whatever energy he had left with the other person. It took Castaneda a year. When he came back, Don Juan looked at him and basically said, “You didn’t do it correctly,” and sent him back to do it again. Chances are that was a symbolic story to show how hard Castaneda worked in order to master this technique and purify himself. And Don Juan sending him back to do it again was the shaman’s way of tempering Castaneda’s ego-based pride.
Now, think back to the emotional encounters you’ve had over your lifetime with loved ones, friends, neighbors, coworkers, your boss, or even strangers. You’re always exchanging energy with others through these bioplasmic streamers. In the exchange of energy with someone on a psychic attack, you lose your own energy. Add to that the psychic debris you pick up from the other person (especially if you are the sensitive type, as are many healers), and the combination can influence your health and even how quickly you age. Leaving your energy with others, instead of bringing it back into yourself, sets you up for illness, accidents, depression, or financial problems, to name a few. The following exercise will teach you how to get back any energy you left out there with others and return the energy to them that they left in your energy field.
This is the technique to use for situations when you felt at risk with someone. It could be an abusive parent who beat you, an ex who harasses or stalks you, or a gang that bullied you in high school. Maybe you were the victim of road rage or any kind of psychic attack. Knowing how energy is left behind, even in simple exchanges with others, imagine the energy you lose when you are in real danger or seriously frightened. The intent here is to get your energy back from these people, and at the same time, you will be returning their energy to them. This is not as “friendly” a technique as the gentle Sweeping Breath exercise (see page 154). When you return their violent or dark energy to them, they will have to deal with it. But don’t worry about sending something negative back to someone. You’re not sending back the event, only the energy that was left in your field. True, it’s dark, negative energy, not all fluffy and white. But this is not revenge; it is simply a clearing of energy so you can revitalize yourself. You’re not aiming to hurt the other people; you’re only seeking to untangle your energetic streamers.
I don’t recommend doing this process for someone with whom you currently have a loving relationship, even if in the past that person seriously frightened you. Maybe your mother terrorized you when you were a child but nowadays she’s much gentler and you get along great. Don’t choose her because it will be too confusing. Try to pick someone you don’t see often, if at all. If you ever have to see someone you’ve done this exercise on again, you will want to be really clear from doing this technique.
The key to this technique is unbending intent. You may already know how to do that through some skill you learned, like winning tennis matches or lawsuits in court. I learned unbending intent by riding my horse. In order to have that giant, 16.3-hand horse follow my directions in a dressage horse show, without the judge being aware of what I was doing, I had to communicate through my intentionality and subtle cues rather than by overtly kicking the horse.
Remember, your toxic emotions leave you vulnerable. The more you live in the light, the more you inspire the dark to disappear. Here are four bonus strategies you can use to protect yourself:
Protect your personal energy and power at all costs. Giving away your power sets you up for psychic attacks, so don’t compromise your values and boundaries because you want approval. Be aware of any patterns within yourself that would promote a loss of energy. Always use your own intuition as the ultimate authority for anything regarding your own life.
Keep your energy and emotions clear. Journaling, therapy, meditation, bodywork, and energy healing can keep you free of toxic emotions and dark energy.
Ask your spiritual guides and divine mentors for guidance. A simple daily prayer to your guides and mentors to keep you safe is all you need. I like to use this one: “[Name] and [name], please be by my side today, in every way.”
Clear your home of unwanted energy. There are many simple ways to clear your personal space. There are traditional clearing treatments such as smudging, which involves burning sage, sweet grass, cedar, or juniper. If you smudge, open every closet and door, and make sure you circle around every opening; don’t forget to smudge the mirrors. I offer another space-clearing exercise in chapter 19 that’s even easier than smudging.
In the next chapter, you’ll learn about working with the hara line, an entire level deeper than your personal energy field and the source of your purpose in life.