Chapter Eight
June 2
Logan closed his eyes, wishing the fall he’d taken had never happened. Dr. Sonja Ribas, the orthopedic surgeon, had instructed the nurse to cut away one side of his boot. When she did, blood burst out, splattering both of them and the floor. But the pressure . . . God, the pressure was relieved. Glancing down, he saw his ankle swell to the size of a cantaloupe in a few minutes and turn a bright purple-blue. They had given him a powerful pain medication in the IV. In the other arm, whole blood was waiting to be infused into him, should he need it. The throbbing of his ankle was horrendous, and he gritted his teeth.
Dr. Ribas ordered the brunette nurse to up the pain meds for him. In moments, the throbbing reduced and Logan tried to relax, but it was impossible. The blood wasn’t coming from his ankle. It was leaking out of the top of the cut-away boot. He wasn’t sure which felt worse: the break of one or two of his bones in his leg, or that damned nail that had buried itself deep inside his foot. Dr. Ribas, fifty years old, short red hair and large green eyes, gave orders to carefully cut away the rest of the boot just above the sole. She kept her hand on the bottom of his boot as the nurse slowly cut through the thick, worn leather, so the nail wasn’t jiggled around.
When Jody reappeared, and he saw Lea come in, something cracked open in his heart. Lea looked frazzled, worried, and then their eyes met. For all the quiet murmurings going on around him as Dr. Ribas had the top of the boot removed, and then the sock cut away, Logan suddenly felt peaceful. It was because of Lea’s presence. He saw her strength, but also, how shaken she was as she stared down at his exposed foot. He’d taken off his work gloves on the way in and he lifted his left hand, signaling Lea to come around to the left side of the gurney. Jody remained with Dr. Ribas; they talked in low voices and he couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Lea’s eyes were warm with welcome and it moved through his shock, making him relax even more. Maybe she was another form, a better one, of pain medication. Right now, Logan was sure it was Lea. He understood her shadowy presence in the cubical, being seen but not heard. Luckily, everyone in the room was female, and that made her feel more comfortable. He opened his hand, palm up, reaching toward her. Seeing her shock at his gesture, Logan continued to hold his hand out toward her. He needed Lea to know she meant something good and hopeful to him. When he persisted, and after she looked down at his hand and then into his eyes, he saw the shock leave and something wonderful replace it. Whatever it was, it was good. Her long, cool, roughened fingers slid across his sweaty palm, wrapping gently around his long, thick fingers that were as callused as her own.
And then, she stepped closer. Logan deeply inhaled her scent as a woman—not the sterile, bleached scent that hung in the room, but that sweet aphrodisiac scent. Closing his eyes, he sank against the gurney that supported him in a partial sitting position. Jody had called it the Fowler’s position. Whatever. He wrapped his fingers around Lea’s, felt her lean her body against the gurney, brushing lightly against his left shoulder, as if to tell him everything would be all right. It felt wonderful and so damned welcoming. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was to him, how she made him feel hope that had been destroyed when Elizabeth and his baby daughter had suddenly died. She represented the sun to him, but he was afraid to tell her that, for fear that she would think he was stalking her. Women were stalked routinely by male jerks, and he felt a brief anger over it until the nurse lifted his left leg, placing a pillow beneath his knee to his heel, to stabilize the entire area.
Opening his eyes, he saw Dr. Ribas instruct a nurse to hold the sole of his boot in place. She then took some tape and carefully wrapped it over his toes and around the sole. As they took him to X-ray, he gave Lea an apologetic look of farewell and released her hand.
“To be continued,” he promised her roughly, giving her one last look as they pushed him out of the cubicle. He saw her barely nod, worry settling into her eyes once again. He would be fine. He was young and healthy. All this was going to be was a damned inconvenience, with the fair coming up. He was the chairman of it, and now he was going to be hobbled for at least six weeks.
In X-ray they took quick photos and then he was wheeled back into his cube, where Lea was standing and waiting for him.
“Hey,” he said, his voice gravelly, “where’s Jody?”
“Oh, Dr. Ribas asked her to come and look at your X-rays with her.”
“Betcha they find a nail in my foot,” he joked weakly. “This med they gave me is making me feel silly and woozy.”
The two nurses placed the gurney in park.
“Am I supposed to be woozy?” Logan asked one of them.
“I’ll tell the doctor,” the older woman said. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
The other nurse hooked him back up to the machinery.
“If you need anything,” she said, opening the door, “just come and get me. I’ll be out at the desk.”
“Alone, at last,” Logan joked, giving Lea an amused look.
“You must be feeling no pain,” she said, coming over, standing on the left side, facing him.
“I liked holding your hand, if you want the truth,” he said, opening his hand, inviting her to hold it once more. “Maybe I can blame it on the opioid concoction they gave me in this IV.” He gave her a hopeful look and grinned.
Lifting her hand, she slid it back into his. “Maybe this med is making you silly and bold,” she countered, giving him a slight smile, holding his gaze.
“Probably,” he admitted with a sigh. “At least, I’m not in a lot of pain. It feels cranky, like a toothache off and on. I can handle that.” He studied his injured foot. “That doesn’t look good, does it?”
“No,” Lea said, “it doesn’t. Can I get you anything, Logan? Are you thirsty?”
“No . . . I’m fine now.” He squeezed her fingers gently.
“I wish I could do more for you . . .”
“Me, too.” The corner of his mouth hitched into a slight curve upward. “One nice thing to come out of this? I get to hold your hand every once in a while.”
She leaned against the gurney, wanting that contact with him, even if it was just his gowned shoulder. “I like holding your hand, too.”
He preened inwardly over her hushed comment. “Doing it of your own free will,” he reminded her, giving her a teasing look.
“Completely,” she said, the corners of her mouth lifting.
“I wish they’d come back. I want to know how bad this break is,” he muttered. “I’m worried that I won’t be able to do the work I need to oversee the fair.”
“Do you have an assistant?” she wondered.
“Yes, Poppy is my backup. She knows everyone, and is well loved and respected. They’d listen to her if I couldn’t be present. She’s a whirlwind and she gets things done and done right.”
“I would think,” Lea ventured, “that this accident is going to lay you up for a while. Well past the fair, Logan. I’m not a doctor, but your ankle and foot look awful.”
“I’ll be okay,” he reassured her, giving her a concerned look. “This isn’t the first time I’ve broken a bone.”
“Or stepped on a nail?”
“Well,” he amended, “that is new.”
“Did they give you the tetanus booster?”
“Right away.”
“Good,” she said, relieved.
“How long has it been since I’ve had one?” he asked archly. “It’s not like I put down on my yearly calendar that I need a booster.”
She grinned. “I can’t remember how long it’s been for me.”
“I’ll bet this will spur you into getting one, huh?”
“Yes,” she agreed, squeezing his fingers.
The warmth rippled up Logan’s hand and he absorbed the dancing humor in Lea’s eyes. She was beginning to relax, to be the woman he had gotten to know in his wood shop and his home. “I can’t begin to tell you how much I like having you at the ranch with me.” Lifting his chin, he met her gaze. “And I hope what I’m going to say doesn’t scare you off or make you want to leave. I really enjoy your company, Lea.” He lifted his hand, placing it over his gowned chest. “For whatever the reason, you fill a hole in me I didn’t know I had until after you arrived. I really enjoy coming in for lunch and sharing the time and space with you. I like following your woodwork artistry because you are incredibly skilled and talented. And at night? Dinner? You have no idea how I look forward to spending that time with you. It fulfills me, Lea, and I hope it does you, too?”
Logan held his breath, afraid he’d said way too much. The drugs were doing it. The expression on Lea’s face staggered him. Her eyes softened and he felt that same warmth stealing through him, feeding his heart, his soul. It was a look that said so much without a word ever being uttered. Briefly, her fingers tightened around his and then relaxed.
“Maybe there’s a silver lining in your accident,” Lea began haltingly. “I’ve always prided myself on being honest with everyone, so I’m not going to dodge what you’ve just shared with me, Logan.” She took a deep breath and released it. “Since coming here, I’ve felt so at home that it’s scared me. I’ve hidden in my parents’ home and my dad’s workshop up until I pulled together enough guts to drive out here and take the job at your ranch. I scared myself doing it. I wondered why I was doing it. I was happy at home. I love my parents very much. I wasn’t sure I was making the right decision to take the job you were offering me.”
“But then, that truck hit you as you were turning into the ranch driveway,” he muttered, shaking his head.
“You were right there, Logan. I was so shaken and you were so solid and unflappable. I was amazed at your steadiness because that hit from behind shattered me. I was so scared.” She tilted her head, giving him a half smile. “You took away my fear, my shock. You were so gentle with me, quiet, and built my confidence back up. No man has ever affected me like that before. I just didn’t know, at that time, what to think about it and how you were affecting me.”
“That’s a good start,” he said. “I felt the same about you. Even in the midst of that accident, I could look into your deep green eyes, and felt nothing but peace and calm. It was a crazy reaction to have,” he admitted, shaking his head.
“Then we really had an impact on one another, and it was the accident that caused it,” she said wonderingly. “Your presence calmed me, Logan.”
“And yours calmed my terror that you were dying. I saw that truck hit your truck. I was grateful you were okay,” he added, holding the tender look swimming in her eyes.
“And yet, we’ve never really had a chance to sit down and say this to one another,” Lea admitted quietly, giving him a look of apology.
“I was afraid to admit what I felt toward you, Lea.” He shrugged. “I guess I didn’t want to find out you weren’t interested in me, and, maybe, the beginning of some kind of relationship with me.”
“I was chicken, too,” she whispered, her mouth quirking. “I thought if you knew how I really was beginning to feel toward you, that you might fire me. I didn’t want to lose this job. I love what I’m doing. I love the Wild Goose Ranch and everyone who works there.” She gave him a jaded look. “And I certainly did not want to tell you the personal side of my feelings, because of my fears.”
“We’re a pair,” he muttered, lying back, staring up at her. “I was afraid of rejection. You were afraid of being fired. Two peas from the same pod?”
She managed a slight laugh. “I think so. And it took your accident to tear away our fears and be honest about one another. I used to be so brave, and took so many risks, before that one, darned, bullying attack,” she admitted hoarsely. “I’ve lost that part of myself and I miss it so much.”
“Maybe we’re good for one another in different ways, Lea. Maybe just being in close proximity with one another, learning to be friends, is the best thing that has happened to both of us in a long, long time?” He searched her troubled gaze.
“I feel you’re right,” she said, sadness in her tone. “I want my old self back.”
“When I lost Elizabeth,” he admitted in a choked tone, “I felt like I’d died in the process, too. She was my light, my reason for all the dreams I had for us, shared dreams we’d created out of being friends throughout our school years.”
“I can’t imagine your loss. And I’m so sorry it happened to you.”
“I should be over it, and for the most part, I am. She died when I was twenty-three, and now I’m thirty. For the past couple of years, I’ve felt like I’ve been coming out of some kind of vacuum, or suspended animation of a sort. When she suddenly passed, I went numb. Completely numb. I could feel nothing. I couldn’t even cry about her loss for years.” His eyes darkened. “I was lucky to know what love is, Lea. Not everyone gets that chance. I realize that now. I guess I’m old enough, gone through the grief, and it started subsiding a couple of years ago. I went from being numb to feeling as if something important was missing from my life and I couldn’t define what the hell it was.” He didn’t want to add, ‘Until you came along,’ because Logan knew it would probably scare Lea into leaving. It was hopeful to know they had something good, a foundation of liking one another, but that wasn’t enough to build dreams on. At least, not yet. Maybe never. He really didn’t know, and he could see the confusion or possible consternation in her eyes, reflecting how he felt right now about all these unexpected admissions.
At that moment, Dr. Ribas, Jody, and the two nurses returned. Logan didn’t like the look on the doctor’s face. He tried to inwardly steel himself for the bad news, whatever it might be. He felt Lea’s hand tighten momentarily around his. She’d seen and interpreted the expression on the surgeon’s face, too.
“Give me the bad news, Doc,” he told her.
Ribas placed her hand on his shoulder and patted it gently. She brought up her iPad and tapped it. “A little bit of anatomy here for you, Logan. You’ve fractured your tibia here.” She pointed toward the ankle area. “I’m going to have to put screws in because it’s a clean break. You’re lucky the way you fell didn’t make it an open fracture, the bone sticking out of your flesh. Now, the nail is easy enough to take out, but it’s rusty and I’m concerned about infection. You’re going to be loaded up on antibiotics and it will probably make you feel exhausted, Logan.”
“Okay,” he said slowly. “Can I still heal up in six weeks?”
“It may be a little slower than that,” she cautioned. “Jody was telling me that you have a housekeeper who comes in daily, but leaves at night. For the first four weeks, you’re going to need someone else in that house at night with you. You’re not going to be able to do a lot of things you used to do, like dressing and undressing yourself without some help, especially the first two or three weeks.”
“I live there,” Lea said. And then she saw the two nurses look at her. “I mean, I’m his employee. I work for him on a special project. He’s given me a bedroom and his wood shop. I’ll be there and available should he need help.”
Ribas looked pointedly at their held hands. “That sounds good to me. You’ll be more in caregiver mode for a while. He also is going to need to be driven in to our physical therapy unit, because during the six to eight weeks he’s going to lose a lot of muscle mass and that leg will be weak. I’ll outline a regimen for him later on and we’ll send it out to you.”
Logan looked up at her. “You sure about this?”
“Positive.”
“Do me a favor, Lea? Don’t call my folks yet. My mother is a worrywart and I don’t want them thinking they’ve got to leave Phoenix to fly up here to be with me. Wait until I get out of surgery and hear what Dr. Ribas says. And once I get settled enough, I’ll call them and let them know what happened. I want to downplay this.”
“Don’t you think your parents will find out sooner or later that you didn’t call them right away? How will they take that?” she asked.
“My dad will understand. My mother will be furious,” he said, shaking his head, “but the other side of that coin is her amping up her worry. She has high blood pressure. I don’t want to contribute to it rising more.”
His reasoning made sense to Lea. “Dr. Ribas said this was an in-and-out surgery, and it’s only a couple of hours.”
“That’s true,” Logan agreed. “These meds are really screwing up my thought processes.”
“I do want to text Barry and keep him updated, though.”
“That’s fine. Barry knows not to call my parents on something like this.”
“Okay, I’ll wait until you come out of surgery.”
Inwardly, Logan felt like the only good thing to come out of this was they were being drawn closer to one another. He searched her darkening green eyes, the soft tendrils of red hair near her temples making him want to lift his hand and smooth them into some order. She was a wild woman trapped inside the body of a woman who had found out that hiding was survival. He wanted Lea to do more than survive. He wanted to think that with his help, she could thrive and maybe, just maybe, he would see her blossom into the daredevil child she used to be. “Okay,” he said. “Maddy could help.”
“She’ll be cooking and cleaning,” Lea offered. “Between the two of us? We can take over and help you get back on your feet.”
He grimaced. “An appropriate pun, eh?”
Ribas smiled a little. “Unconscious pun,” she said, giving Lea a warm look.
Touching her cheek, Lea murmured, “Now I’m blushing like a schoolgirl, Logan.”
“That’s okay. On you, it’s becoming.” He turned to Dr. Ribas. “When do I get this surgery?”
“We’re prepping the OR right now for you. I’m going to have Nurse Adams take you to our presurgery area. We’ll give you an antianxiety IV drip, just to reduce the shock. You’ll probably be very sleepy and feel very relaxed.” She looked at her watch. “In about twenty minutes, we’ll be wheeling you into the surgery theater.”
Logan nodded. “Okay, Doc, sounds good. Thanks for everything.”
Nodding, Dr. Ribas left the cubicle.
Lea stood aside as the nurse wheeled the gurney out and she followed, in turmoil. This was serious surgery. She kept telling herself that Logan was young, athletic, healthy, and that he would pass the surgery without difficulty. Or would he? She chewed on her lip, unsure.
* * *
“Hey, I’ll be fine,” Logan assured Lea, clasping her hand before he was wheeled out of the prep area, heading for the OR.
She squeezed his fingers. “I know you will. But I’ll wait here.”
“Are you sure? I’m going to be fine, Lea. This isn’t a major surgery, it’s just putting a couple of screws into my bone.”
“You really are good at minimizing something when you want to,” she teased, smiling a little and shaking her head. “I’ll bet you drove your mother up a wall with these types of rationales?”
He chuckled a little. “Busted.”
“At least you are honest.” She leaned over him, her gaze locking on his cloudy one. They’d given him an antianxiety drug earlier through the IV and he was just this side of dropping off to sleep, boneless and not a worry in the world. He seemed scattered, which wasn’t like him at all. What felt so darned good were his fingers tightly holding hers. If Logan was afraid, he wasn’t showing it. She would be, for sure. “I’ll be waiting out here. Dr. Ribas said it shouldn’t take more than two hours. It’s one thirty p.m. right now. When they bring you out of surgery, I’ll talk to Dr. Ribas and then I’ll call Barry and he’ll let everyone else know how you’re doing.”
He licked his lower lip, which felt dry. “Sounds good,” he said, sinking against the pillow and closing his eyes. “I’m suddenly so tired, Lea . . .” His voice trailed off into an unintelligible whisper.
“It’s the drug,” the nurse said quietly to her. “He’s fine. Go to the visitors’ surgery lounge on the second floor and wait. As soon as Dr. Ribas is finished, she’ll come and see you.”
Giving the young blond-haired nurse a nod, Lea said, “Good enough. Thank you.” She felt Logan’s fingers slip from hers; he appeared to be fully asleep. On an impulse, she leaned down, pressing her lips to his smooth brow. She doubted he would remember it. But she would. Her hand tingled in memory of his larger hand, those calluses on his palms and fingers reminding her he was the owner of a ranch and worked just as hard as any of his wranglers.
Lea went first to the small cafeteria before going up the elevator. She wanted some coffee, and although her stomach was tight with nerves and worry, she knew she had to eat something. Luckily, they had a fresh fruit salad that appealed to her. Not wanting anything heavy in her stomach, the fruit was the perfect choice. Taking the elevator, she found the lounge. It had inviting apricot-colored sofas and chairs, calming light blue walls, plus coffee tables and lamps, looking more like a home décor instead of a hospital one. Soft classical music played unobtrusively in the background. Taking out her cell phone, she texted Barry to let him know that Logan was going into surgery and the potential time it would take to care for his broken ankle.
What a day! She sat alone in the large, roomy lounge, glad that it was quiet. There was a huge TV panel on the wall, but she never watched much, so didn’t have a desire to turn it on. The classical music was soothing and she finished off her fruit salad. She also texted her parents to let them know what was going on. Leaning back, closing her eyes, Lea felt as if her world had suddenly canted into a new direction. She had held Logan’s hand. She had kissed him. She’d wanted to. And if she were honest with herself? Lea wanted much, much more with this man. No one had inspired her to dream like Logan did. Ever. In some ways, Lea felt as if she were a fairy-tale princess like Snow White, who had eaten the apple and fallen into a deep sleep. And when she awakened, there was Logan staring down at her.
Her thoughts waffled between what it might be like to take more risks, to tell Logan the whole truth of how she felt about him. Now she knew that whatever was going on between them was mutual. But how much so? Was he like so many other men who strung a woman along just to get her in bed and have sex with her? Or was it something rarer, something that every woman yearned for but didn’t always get in a male partner? A long-term, equal, serious relationship. That is what Logan was stirring up in her, causing her to want him, causing her to dream of something she felt was impossible to reach.
It was true her parents were deeply in love with one another and always had been. She’d grown up seeing the best that a relationship could become. But after all that had happened to her, she bitterly realized that it was one percent of the population who had what her parents had achieved with one another. So many marriages and live-in situations crumbled easily within five years, eroding before the couples’ eyes.
That was not what she wanted. Her parents were dinosaurs from a bygone era compared to today’s generations. Was it too much to want that now, in today’s throwaway world? Was she more dreamer than realist? Above all, she’d watched her parents communicate, and as she grew older and more mature, realized that was the glue that kept their marriage going. That and being the best of friends. They truly enjoyed doing things together and appreciated the other person.
Why wasn’t that possible in today’s world? What had happened to make a lasting marriage such a rare commodity? Frustrated, she stood up, slowly pacing around the room, hands behind her back, head down, pondering the blossoming relationship with Logan.
Wouldn’t this time with him after his surgery be a good yardstick for measuring their budding relationship? Yes, it might be. She’d never taken care of someone who was injured before, however. Would her ignorance put Logan in jeopardy? Her mind went to nooks and crannies as she asked herself a lot of questions and didn’t get any good answers in return.
Maddy would be there to cook for them, and for that, Lea was grateful. She was older and couldn’t be expected to care for Logan, especially the first three weeks of his recuperation. That pining away that would come and go in her heart, came back strongly right then. Unconsciously, she rubbed that region. She wanted to talk to her mother about this odd reaction she was having toward Logan. Was it real? Was it her creative, wishful side tricking reality? She wondered how Jessica and Mike Anderson, Logan’s parents, would take not being alerted immediately that he’d been operated on. She was sure her parents would be upset to no end about it. But she’d never met Logan’s parents, and had to rely on him to do what he thought was right. Intuitively, Lea felt his mother would be stripping gears over not being told right away. Shrugging, she knew she could be wrong about that, too. At least Logan said he’d call them after he became fully alert after the surgery.
Her cell phone rang. Frowning, she pulled it out of her jeans pocket.
“Hello?”
“This is Barry, Lea. Listen, it seems like things are gonna go in threes on bad luck today. Maddy’s husband, Alvin? He just suffered a heart attack. They’re takin’ him by ambulance to the hospital where you’re at.”
“Oh,” Lea whispered, “no! Oh, this is awful, Barry! Is he going to make it?”
“Dunno. Maddy was away in Thermopolis for the day, visiting her relatives when it happened. Alvin was out on a job at the end of town. He said he wasn’t feeling good, broke out in a sweat, and then the attack came and he lost consciousness out in his truck. The woman he’d done the electrical work for in her home, called in the emergency.”
“Have you called Maddy?” she asked, her voice urgent.
“Yes, but she’s an hour away. I told her you were at the hospital already and she has your phone number. She doesn’t text, Lea, so expect a phone call. Maddy’s coming straight to the hospital. You have her cell number?”
“Yes, yes I do.”
“I’m going to stay here at the ranch because this is where I need to be, but I’d like you to keep me in the loop on Logan’s surgery and let me know how Alvin’s doing?”
“Of course,” she said, her own heart pounding with anxiety and fear for Alvin. “I’ll go down to the ER desk and tell the supervisor what’s going on. I’ll give them Maddy’s cell number so they can be in touch directly with her, because I don’t think they will tell me a thing about Alvin’s condition. I’m not family.”
“I agree. Okay, this is two. Lordy, I hope there’s not gonna be a number three.”
Her mouth thinned. “I hope not either, Barry. I’ll be in touch.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Lea was busy at the main ER desk with the supervisor, Nurse Pamela Dutton, who was close to retirement age. Lea gave her Maddy’s phone number, and the nurse thanked her profusely. She saw Alvin brought in, but in a matter of less than a minute, they had powered him through the ER area and out another door and she didn’t know where it led.
“Can you stay in touch with me on Alvin’s condition?” Lea asked.
“Maddy will be here in probably thirty minutes,” Pamela said, rising from behind her desk in the small office. “I’ll tell her you are up on the surgery floor visitors’ lounge. I’m sure she’ll find you. Right now, the cardiac doctor is assessing Mr. Long’s condition. We don’t know anything yet. I did receive a call from the ambulance driver, who said that he was semiconscious, so that’s a good sign. Just keep your fingers crossed.”
“For sure,” Lea murmured. “Gosh, two of our people going down within hours of one another is so shocking,” she whispered, touching her brow.
“Things come in threes,” Pamela warned her grimly, moving around the walnut desk that had neat stacks of reports on it. “Best thing you can do is be up there and wait for Logan to get out of surgery. Dr. Ribas is the best, and I know she’ll be a terrific surgeon for Logan.” She patted Lea’s shoulder. “Just keep taking some deep breaths and this, too, shall pass.”
It was good advice. Looking at her watch, she knew Maddy would be at the hospital in half an hour. She was probably breaking every speed limit to get here to Silver Creek, and Lea didn’t blame her. Pamela promised to call Maddy, as soon as she went and checked on Alvin’s condition so she had something concrete to tell her. More than anything, Lea hoped it would be good news. People died of heart attacks all the time. Not wanting to go there, Lea stepped out of the elevator doors after they slid open.
It would be an hour at the earliest before Dr. Ribas had finished her surgery on Logan’s tibia. Feeling like she’d just been slammed into a concrete wall, Lea sat down in the surgery lounge. Her mind spun. With Alvin surviving this cardiac event, that meant he would probably need some caretaking himself. And that meant she would have to take over the cooking duties for Maddy at Logan’s home. Lea resisted asking What else could go wrong? and grabbed a magazine, and tried to concentrate on it instead of people’s lives being suddenly upended at the Wild Goose Ranch.