Many years ago, I owned a comedy club. One of the things I learned about myself after that business was that I would never, ever sell alcohol to another person. The worst experience I have ever had was talking to drunk people! I told God, when I got out of the comedy club business, I would never promote alcohol again.
It was easy to keep this promise, until Crown Royal became the official sponsor for the Kings of Comedy tour. I was hosting the show when the promoter gave me a list of positive stuff to say about Crown Royal to get people to buy it. I said no. He started telling me how much money we were making because of Crown Royal, which was true. And there is nothing wrong with the product when used in moderation, if that is what you choose to drink. But I had made a promise that I would not use my fame or fortune to promote the consumption of alcohol. I have other vices. I smoke cigars. I’m not perfect, but I do not choose to promote alcohol.
It became a huge problem. The promoter threatened to cut my money and pull the sponsorship. There were a few verbal altercations, along with the promoter standing by the side of the stage trying to make me sell alcohol. This battle went on for about six weeks. He did everything he could think of to make me promote alcoholic beverages. I really liked the people at Crown. They came to the show and were great sponsors. They helped us out in a big way. The Crown on the bag signified the Kings. It was a great tie-in. I explained to Crown Royal that I wouldn’t sell the product because I didn’t like what it does to people. Who doesn’t understand that? Because I am famous, the star of The Steve Harvey Show, they realized that if I said it, it would carry a lot more weight. I’m not saying that you are not supposed to drink it. As a person of integrity, I’m saying that I will not sell to people something I won’t use.
I had to stand my ground. Crown Royal understood what I was talking about. They understood that they couldn’t make me promote their brand. I stood for something. I have always thought it was important to stand for something, and I stood proudly.
“No” is a powerful word. I risked being fired by standing up for what I believed in. Being able to say no will help you become confident in setting personal standards, as well as being comfortable setting boundaries, both of which are critical in your journey toward success.
Saying no gives you a set of powers that I like to call “The 5 E’s.” They are as follows:
THE POWER OF ENERGY. Saying no gives you the energy to focus on the things in your life that move you closer to your destiny.
THE POWER OF REDUCED EGO. Saying no is also being strong enough to admit that you can’t do everything. Even when we are trying to be the best, we have to realize we are not God. Don’t try to do it all. The plan that you have for your gift will guide you.
THE POWER TO EMPOWER. Saying no gives you the ability to let someone else shine. Recommend another person for the honor. Your no will open the door for others to rise.
THE POWER TO END ENABLING. Some people say yes all the time in order to save other people—to cover for them when they won’t step up to the plate. Stop. Your no forces someone to step into the place he is being called to. Even if you let him fail once . . . you are helping him in the long run. Your yes is only delaying the inevitable.
THE POWER TO ROB YOUR ENEMY. People may want to steal and manipulate your gift. Saying no allows you to use your gift and power in the right place at the right time for the right purpose. Stop giving your gift to those who want to use you for the development of their legacy, at the cost of yours. Do not let anyone distract you from focusing on your vision.
Maximizing this power will help you avoid all kinds of situations that take you further and further off the path to your success.
When I talk to people about saying no, one of the questions I get most often is, “How do you know what to say no to?” And that is a good question. Because not every opportunity, relationship, or experience that comes your way—even if it’s something that you want—is good for you. Have you ever thought you wanted something and when you were presented with it, said yes, and shortly after wished you had said no? Me, too. Well, let me give you a list that will help you determine what offers warrant a no.
• Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., move you closer to one or more of the items on your vision board?
YES NO
• Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., support your gift?
YES NO
• Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., conflict with a task you are doing—or something that you need to get done—that is in line with one or more of the items on your vision board?
YES NO
• Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., mutually benefit both you and other parties involved (regardless of whom it benefits more)?
YES NO
• Does this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc., conflict with a moral belief, even if it benefits you in other ways?
YES NO
• Are you being fairly compensated (as you see it) for this opportunity, event, relationship, job, request, etc.?
YES NO
Does this help you get closer or take you further from that which you have defined as the goal? Saying no now will reward you with victory later.