I remember vividly the day that I decided to change my life. It was Tuesday, October 8, 1985, in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. I was twenty-seven, married, and a new father of beautiful twin baby girls. While I was excited to be a father for the first time, we were really struggling. We were living in a little two-bedroom house, and I was barely scraping by with my full-time job and writing jokes on the side for comedian A. J. Jamal. One night, I was hanging out in Hilarities Comedy Club with a woman named Gladys Jacobs. She knew about my gig with A.J.
“Why don’t you just write some jokes for yourself and sign up for the open-mike night for next week?” she asked. I agreed to sign up for the next show.
I hung around to see Gladys perform her set. There were nine comedians onstage that night with Gladys. Some of the performers were good; some were bad; and, surprisingly, the guy who did Bullwinkle and Popeye impersonations slayed the crowd the most. The host got to the end of the open-mike list, and the last comic was a no-show.
“Well, why don’t we just start with the names for next week? If Steve Harvey is here, come on up,” he said.
I was sitting there minding my business, eating, and drinking a glass of grapefruit juice. I put down my drink and said, “Gladys, somebody here has the same name.”
She looked at me and said, “Fool, he means you. Get on up there!”
I ran up onstage and started my set by facing the wall. When I turned around, I said, “I ain’t even supposed to be here until next week.” To my shock, they started laughing. “No, really, I’m not kidding. This is an accident.” The crowd kept on laughing, but Gladys could see that I was freezing up.
“Tell us the story about your boxing days!” she yelled.
I starting telling a story about boxing one of my fiercest opponents, who was named Bernard Taylor. I really got into it and began demonstrating how he used to climb into the ring with a pigeon-toed walk. The crowd was howling. Meanwhile, the host was on the side of the stage motioning for me to wrap it up, but I thought he was telling me to keep going, so I told another story. Finally, I said, “Well, I can’t think of anything else to say, so I’ll see y’all next week!”
After I finished, the host brought all the contestants back onstage. There was a clap-off for the best comedian. I won my first amateur night. The first-place prize was fifty dollars!
I walked into work the next morning with that fifty dollars, and you couldn’t tell me nothing. I marched myself into the card shop downstairs and paid them twenty-five dollars to print up two hundred cards with my name, address, phone number, and the word “Comedian” right under my name. I waited until all two hundred cards were off press. When they were done, I took my fresh box of printed cards and went upstairs to show them to my buddy, Russell.
When I saw Russell, he said, “Where were you last night? I was looking for you and couldn’t find you anywhere.” I told him that I won an amateur night at a comedy club.
“A comedy club? That’s exactly where you need to be!”
I showed him the cards. “I’m thinking of quitting this job.”
“Well, don’t think about it. Do it!”
I got a box, cleared off my desk, and headed to my boss’s office to deliver the news.
“Tom, look, I really appreciate the opportunity, but I have a young family, and last night I discovered what I really want to be.”
“Well, what’s that, Steve?” my boss asked.
I told him about winning the amateur night at the comedy club and I informed him that I was a comedian now. Tom looked me right in the eye and said, “You won one amateur night and now you think you’re a comedian, huh? Steve, I’ve never heard you say a funny thing since you’ve been here.”
I wanted to show him that I was really serious. I handed him one of my new business cards, which was still warm from the printer.
“Listen, Steve, you’re a young guy with a young family to support. Don’t go chasing some foolish dream. Now take that box, put your stuff back on your desk, and go sit down. I will pretend like this never happened.”
I let Tom talk me right out of quitting. I turned around and left his office. I went back to my desk.
“What are you doing?” asked Russell.
I told him that Tom made some good points about being responsible and taking care of my family.
Russell shot back, “So you’re really going to let this dude tell you what to do with your life? Steve, let me ask you something: Is Tom the kind of man you want to be?”
“No.”
“Is his car the kind of car you want?”
“No.”
“So why in the world are you listening to him? Steve, you’re the funniest man I know. I really think you have missed your calling being here. Keep your stuff in that box and go.”
I grabbed my box for the second time and headed back to Tom’s office. I explained to him again that I was really serious about becoming a comedian. He looked at me like I was the biggest fool in the world.
“All right, Steve. If you walk out that door now, I’m not going to give you your job back.” I thanked him again, and I went to shake his hand, but he refused it. “You’re making a bad move, Steve, but good luck to you.” I walked out that door, jumped, and never looked back.
Now, please don’t walk into work tomorrow and quit your job. Let me tell you that during my first few months as a comedian, I thought Tom was right. I made $125 my first month and the second month was even worse, because I was only seventy-five dollars’ worth of funny. I ended up losing my family and my home. I thought it would be better out on the road, but it just got worse, and I barely had enough money to send some back home.
Even in the midst of being homeless, I knew I was doing what I was born to do. I wasn’t successful at it yet, but I was on my way. I’ve known that I had a gift to make people laugh since I was ten, but I didn’t attach it to a vehicle called “being a comedian” until I was in my late twenties.
I want to inform you of one very important piece of information: You have a gift! Yes, you have a gift, too. Our creator, in his infinite wisdom, created every single soul with a gift. Your gift is completely unique. No one can rob you of it. You are the only one who can choose to use it or to ignore it. You have the power to permit it to be used to enrich your life.
“Steve, what is my gift?” Your gift is the single thing that you do at your absolute best with the least amount of effort.
Take a moment to really think about what I am saying. Be honest with yourself while considering my words: You have a gift. Note that I did not ask you what you were passionate about or what you hoped, dreamed, or wished for. What do you do the absolute best with the least amount of effort?
Don’t think that a gift is limited to playing sports or performing onstage. There are many other options. Are you a problem solver? Are you a sharp listener who can convey the views of others? Do you have the ability to bring together people who can then form mutually beneficial, business-enhancing relationships? Do you cook well? Are you an excellent mediator? Do you have a calming voice that can lift a person’s spirit? Are you especially effective communicating with children? Can you draw or paint? Do you like designing garments? Does creating floral arrangements give you a thrill? What is it that your creator has naturally endowed you to do?
This whole notion of “gift” can be challenging. We have been conditioned to care more about jobs and titles. Our gift is not the job we have that we think is better than everyone else’s. I have plenty of friends who are making millions of dollars and hate what they do because they are using their talents, but not their gift. As you are figuring out what your gift is, do not be misled by alternate career options.
Some of you may be having trouble identifying your gift because you are attaching it to or defining it as a job. I completely understand that, and I know this is especially true for men because so much of our identity is tied to the company we work for and the title on our business cards. But your job is not your gift. It may be one of the places where you can use your gift. But you should also be able to use your gift in your relationships, your communities, and throughout every aspect of your life.
Your gift is something that is connected to you whether you are working or vacationing, whether you are with the family or even all alone. Your gift cannot be taken because of downsizing or given to you because someone creates a job description. Your gift exists because you do.
I have come to learn that no single job would ever contain my gift. My gift and your gift are bigger than a single job. I was so preoccupied with getting gigs that I didn’t realize that my gift to make people laugh was not about a comedy stage. I have been able to move beyond the “job” I thought was my gift and truly see my unique gift make room for me on radio, TV, movies, and, yes, even in books. Notice that when I’m on the radio, I’m making people laugh. When I’m doing my television show, I’m making people laugh. When I’m hosting Family Feud, I’m making people laugh. My gift is always with me, and I use it to increase my success.
If you are a driver, I don’t want you to get hung up on “I drive well, so I’ll drive for a company.” No, your gift is driving, but the right vehicle for your gift may not be driving for a company; it depends on what will give you the most satisfaction. You could be one of the greatest drivers in any area and in any field if driving truly is your gift. You will have the ability to become incredibly successful with your gift driving. I guarantee you that it will be more exciting for you to wake up in the morning and drive for yourself or spend your day developing younger drivers who will work for you. Or maybe the right vehicle for your gift will be providing transportation for your local church or the elderly members of your community. See, your gift doesn’t have to become a profession. It could be something that you do on a volunteer basis to serve your community. If serving brings you pleasure, you are already rewarded by the joy it brings into your life.
Your gift may be to serve. Your whole life, people have told you that the only place your gift makes sense is at church or in the nonprofit sector. Well, that may be the place for you to thrive or the place to which you feel called.
There is a huge service industry. I can’t tell you how many service people, from the door to the executive office, make my life better in hotels, restaurants, spas, and event venues. You could one day own your own hotel or be the general manager of the best restaurant in your city. All it takes is the gift of service you have to allow you to make people’s lives more enjoyable.
Passion is a strong emotion associated with something you do. Passion is the emotion, but it is never the gift. Some people are not passionate about their gift because they have not yet given themselves the room to actually walk in it yet. I want you to have passion for your gift as you learn to acknowledge it and perfect it, but do not confuse the passion you have for something else as your gift.
Finally, your gift is not your talents. In fact, what we do well sometimes blocks us from finding out what we do great. I think of talents as the lesser to one’s gift. Talents can be learned while a gift is inherent. Your gift cannot be studied by another and then performed at the same proficiency. However, our talents often lead us to exercising our gift.
Use your talents, but know that it will be your gift that puts you in the presence of great people. Proverbs 18:16 says, “Your gift will make room for you and put you in the presence of great men.”
After you identify your gift and decide to use it, your gift will lead to the fulfillment of your life’s purpose and mission. Presented before you will be a wonderful opportunity to live a life of riches. Your success will be tied to the gift that you were freely given on the day you were born. Your gift will unlock all of the mysteries of your life. Your mission, your purpose, and your destiny will all be tied to one thing—your gift. I guarantee that your whole life will have new meaning and direction when you recognize your gift and decide upon the most valuable way to use it.
Take a minute to answer the following questions to help you identify your gift.
1. What is the thing that you do at your absolute best with the least amount of effort?
2. What is that one gift that other people associate with you? Why?
3. If you followed the advice of these other people, how have you utilized your gift?