The following morning it took Ben about two seconds to realize that everything was far from fine.
Despite sleeping well, he’d still woken up early. He had a big day ahead, the biggest of his entire life, and the butterflies in his stomach started almost immediately. His mouth was quite dry, so he decided to go downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. Ben could hear someone down there already. He guessed it was probably Mom tidying up.
“Morning, Mo— Oh, it’s you, Ant,” said Ben as he entered the kitchen. “What are you doing up so early?”
Really the question should have just been, What are you doing? because Ant was in the middle of the kitchen, standing and staring intently at a cheese grater. He turned to look at Ben.
“No, I am not up,” he said in a voice that sounded almost like Ant’s voice, but was a little squeakier. “I am down, yes, down. I was up before. Now I am down. Yes.”
Ant put the cheese grater on his head and sort of smiled at Ben, but only one side of his mouth curled up. It was very odd.
“I am down too,” said a voice behind Ben. This one sounded quite a lot like Dad.
Ben turned to see his father at the bottom of the stairs. He was dressed in his suit, but the buttons were done up incorrectly. The left side of his shirt was a little higher than the right side, and the top button on the right side of his waistcoat was attached to the bottom hole on the left side. He looked really quite wonky. As for his tie, it was around his neck, but hanging down his back.
Ben didn’t need to be told what had happened. He’d seen this before. The aliens had taken over Ant’s and Dad’s bodies!
This time, though, Dad sounded a lot more like Dad and Ant sounded quite a lot like Ant. Ben guessed that the aliens must need some time to get used to taking over another species’ body—that was why Mom and Dad had been speaking and acting so very oddly the first time it had happened. When you usually speak a completely different language through a wiggly tentacle and have three legs, speaking a new language with a mouth and getting used to just two legs must be quite different.
Now, even though the aliens were still not quite used to human clothes and human implements, they were becoming much better at the voices and speaking. They were clearly very fast learners.
Ben could feel his heart start to race, but he knew he had to stay calm.
“Act normal, act normal,” he told himself.
“Looking great, Dad,” said Ben.
“Yes,” said Dad, hopping over to the dishwasher and putting a handkerchief into it. He then pirouetted around and jumped over to the sink, where he squirted a large mouthful of dishwashing liquid into his mouth.
“Where’s Mom?” asked Ben, feeling a little queasy.
“Here I am,” said Mom, coming in from the yard. She sounded almost exactly like Mom now, though she did have Dad’s dressing gown on back to front and was also wearing sunglasses.
Carla wandered in behind her. She had socks on her hands and a shower cap on her head.
“Good Mommy Daddy and morning,” she said. Then she pulled a big green piece of snot out of her nose and put it in the kettle. Ben felt even queasier, but mainly he was thinking that this was becoming a very tricky and potentially dangerous situation for him.
Four aliens were in the kitchen in the bodies of his parents and brother and sister. If they suspected he knew, he could be in real trouble. They would almost certainly take over his body as well, and that would be a disaster.
In fact, Ben thought that the only reason they hadn’t done so already was because they were using him to test themselves. If he reacted to them normally, and behaved as if they were just ordinary humans, they would believe their plan was working, and they could fool everyone.
“Would you like to eat breakfast now?” said Mom, taking the sunglasses off.
Ben blinked. Alien Mom was clearly the fastest learner, but the other three probably weren’t far behind. Before long, it would be impossible to tell who was human and who was alien!
“Actually,” said Ben. “I sort of promised Grandpa I’d have a bar mitzvah morning breakfast with him and then we’d go to the shul together from his apartment. Would that be okay?”
Alien Mom, Dad, Ant, and Carla all stopped and stared at Ben.
What was going on in their minds? Did they even have minds in the same way humans did? And most importantly, would they let Ben go?
“Grandpa. I see. You want to eat with Grandpa,” said Alien Dad.
“Eat breakfast with Grandpa,” said Alien Ant.
“Eat Grandpa,” said Alien Carla.
They all turned to look at Alien Mom. Perhaps she was the big boss.
She seemed to be thinking. Then, she said, “Yes, what a lovely idea. A bar mitzvah morning breakfast with Grandpa. Of course you can go.”
“Great, thanks,” Ben said. “Don’t worry, we won’t be late, we’ll see you at the shul.”
As he said it, he was looking directly at Alien Mom.
“Oh yes, we’ll definitely see you at the shul,” he said to her in his head. “And when we do, I’m going to get my family back and save the world.”