Chapter 22

Alien Dad and Alien Ant grabbed Ben under his arms and hauled him up to his feet. Alien Carla and Alien Mom were standing in front of him.

It was all so strange for Ben. They looked like his family. Being scared of them made no sense, but right then they were the four most dangerous people in the world.

“What you did was very foolish,” said Alien Mom. “Very foolish indeed.”

“You … you had to be stopped,” said Ben.

He didn’t really have a plan. Right now, all he could do was keep them talking for as long as possible and hope that Grandpa would show up with help.

“You will never stop us, Ben,” said Alien Mom. “This is just a small inconvenience. We will rebuild the invisibility ray and then our plan will continue as before.”

Suddenly an idea flashed into Ben’s mind. The three aliens in the lobby believed he was an alien, so maybe, just maybe …

“I am not Ben,” he said.

Alien Carla took a step back. She looked confused. Alien Mom held her ground, though, and eyed Ben suspiciously.

“What do you mean? Of course you are Ben,” she said.

“No, Great Leader,” said Ben. “I am only in Ben’s body. Like you are in his mother’s body. I am from our planet.”

“He is lying, Great Leader,” said Alien Carla.

“I am not,” said Ben. He was thinking really quickly. “I have been sent to tell you not to go ahead with the plan. That is why I said you had to be stopped.”

Alien Mom looked at Ben even more suspiciously.

“I do not believe you,” she said.

“It is true, Great Leader,” said Ben. “There was a huge asteroid storm that destroyed our communication systems back home. That is why I was sent in person to give you this vital news.”

Ben hoped that what he was saying sounded convincing. He stared at Alien Mom, holding her gaze, willing her to believe him.

Alien Mom narrowed her eyes. She was quiet for a moment, thinking about what Ben had said.

“I am still not sure I believe you,” she replied. “I have a question.”

Ben kept looking at the person in front of him. It was his mother, but it wasn’t his mother. It was all so mind-blowing and weird and scary, but he had to focus.

“My question is this,” continued Alien Mom. “Why is the plan to be stopped?”

“It is to be stopped,” said Ben, “because …”

Ben’s mind was racing with thoughts. He had to come up with a good reason. The future of every single human being on Earth depended on it.

“Because,” he repeated, “because a better planet has been found for our people. Yes, that’s it. Earth is good, but this other planet is much, much better. We are going to go there and take over that planet instead.”

An eerie silence fell over the shul. Ben looked at Alien Mom, wondering what she was thinking, what she was going to say. That was probably why he was quite surprised when it was actually Alien Ant who broke the silence.

“Great Leader,” he said.

“Yes?” said Alien Mom, turning to look at him. “What is it?”

“I think we should ask him for the name of this planet, the one that he says is better for us. Then we will know if he is telling the truth.”

Alien Mom nodded. At that moment Ben felt as if Ant had just kicked him again, really, really hard. He wanted nothing more than to shout, “You are the most annoying big brother in the world,” and wished he really did have a shrink ray so he could reduce Ant to the size of a flea and step on him.

“So, tell me,” said Alien Mom. “This planet that you say is better for us. What is it called?”

Ben’s heart missed a beat. A cold thread of fear snaked down his back. He knew that everything rested on what he said next. He racked his brain for anything that might help him. There just had to be something.

Suddenly it came to him. A memory from a few days ago. From the second time he had seen the aliens by the woods behind his backyard. They had said the name of another planet. What was it called?

Ben frantically searched his memory. He pictured the scene. He remembered the image of the three planets hovering above the alien’s tentacle. One had glowed when the alien said its name. What was it? What was it?

And then it came to him.

“Kepler,” he said, “Kepler 452b.”

Alien Dad, Ant, and Carla looked stunned; they reeled slightly, as if Ben’s words had hit them like a punch. Alien Mom remained calm, though.

“That is correct,” said Alien Mom. “But I thought Earth was better for us.”

“Oh, well, yes, that’s what they thought at first,” said Ben, growing more confident. “But we sent another spaceship there to double check it and discovered lots of different stuff about the planet. Stuff they missed the first time round. Forests, lakes, mountains. Honestly, it’s really great. So much better than Earth. You, I mean, we, will love it.”

Alien Mom held Ben’s gaze for a crucial split second. Ben felt as if he was on the edge of a cliff. If Alien Mom didn’t believe him, he and the rest of humanity would go over that cliff. If she did believe him, they would be saved. Which way would it go? Another moment later, Ben knew.

“Well, I have to say, it does sound fantastic,” said Alien Mom.

“Oh, it really is,” said Ben. “And so easy to get to. You just head toward Mars, then turn left and carry on until you get to Alpha Centauri, take a right and it’s the fourth planet on the left. You can’t miss it.”

“I can’t wait to go and live there,” said Alien Carla.

“Neither can I.” said Alien Ant.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” said Alien Mom. “Let’s get going.”

“Oh, I’ve got my own spaceship parked a few clouds over from yours,” said Ben. “I’ll catch up and see you there.”

“Okay,” said Alien Mom. “Come on, you three.”

“Are they really going to go?” thought Ben. Despite his confidence, he couldn’t quite believe it. What if they were tricking him?

Ben felt the fear start to trickle back, but then he saw Mom, Dad, Ant, and Carla’s eyes roll up into their heads and their bodies stop moving. A second later he watched in amazement as the aliens floated out from Mom, Dad, Ant, and Carla’s heads and came back down to the ground.

Ben was now standing on the bimah with the four aliens. He had only been this close to them as humans, and seeing them right beside him like this was both shocking and fascinating. He was also concerned that they might wonder why the alien inside him hadn’t come out yet, so he started to roll his eyes inside his head.

He needn’t have worried, though. The next second the aliens shot off out of the door and one of them even turned round, waved at Ben and shouted, “Last one there is a rotten parsnip.” (He was pretty sure it was the one who had taken over Carla’s body, but he couldn’t be certain).

Ben relaxed for the first time in ages. He had done it. He had actually done it! The aliens had gone. He felt great, but oddly he also felt a small pang of something else. Guilt. The aliens had had to leave their planet because it was going to be destroyed. Even though they had been about to take over Earth, he really hoped that Kepler 452b would be a good new home for them.

Ben made a mental note to try and visit it one day if advances in space travel allowed him to. Then he sighed a huge, great big sigh of relief, only to be overcome with fear and panic again the very next second. In all the excitement, he’d forgotten that it was his bar mitzvah. Now that the aliens had gone it could finally start properly, and he was the star of the show.