We beamed into the kitchen and I instantly ran off to find Ethan, Kyle or Sinc. Bridgett was traveling home through the lines with Liam tomorrow. She’d been sound asleep when I left her and I wasn’t really strong enough right now to carry Garrett and Bridgett. First I ran upstairs, but no one was there. Sasha and Sinc were sitting on the couch together in the basement watching a movie and Heinrich and William were playing pool.
“We’re back!” I yelled as I ran down the stairs. Sinc jumped up to give me a hug, although it was more reserved than I would have expected. As soon as we pulled apart, I smelled Sasha’s sweet cherry scent all over her.
“Welcome home, Jackie. How are you? Is there anything I can get you?” Sinc asked sweetly. Sasha had moved to the pool table next to Heinrich and William. Tension wove between us as I looked from Sinc to Sasha, then back to Sinc.
“Where’s Ethan?”
“He left with Kyle.” Her expression was deadpan. I couldn’t believe what my nose was telling me.
“Are they coming back?”
“I don’t know.” I just kept staring at her in disbelief. “We had a—disagreement, so he’s at my house packing his things and moving in with Kyle and Peter.” She didn’t seem upset, just tense. Why wasn’t she more upset?
Garrett arrived downstairs and stood behind me. “Rick, Will, please go upstairs for a few minutes. “Garrett’s voice was very calm. How could he be so calm? I was fuming.
As soon as they left, I gave Sinc a slight shove, and yelled, “What the fuck did you do?”
Her eyes narrowed and she walked right back up to me, speaking softly. “This is really none of your business. I realize that Ethan is your best friend and you don’t want him hurt, but our breakup is going to hurt him less in the end.”
“You are such an idiot. He adores you. He’d just come back from searching for days for any sign of Kennet or me. He’s probably exhausted. This was cruel, Sinc. You could have told him it was over. You didn’t have to…” I waved in Sasha’s direction.
“I’ve tried to do that. He won’t listen to me.”
“You told me you loved him...”
“I do, that’s why I did what I did.”
I turned on Sasha. “You’re toast, asshole!”
He leaned back against the pool table and crossed his arms. “She came to me. I didn’t pursue her. I didn’t break any of Garrett’s rules.” I looked at Garrett, who simply shook his head and shrugged.
Okay, so I like to think of myself as an adult, perhaps not in years but definitely in experience. I know that this stuff happens. People have affairs, couples break up and go their separate ways. Sinc had even warned me honestly about not wanting a serious long-term relationship and that Ethan was pushing her too strongly in that direction. So why was I flipping out?
Because it was Ethan who’d gotten hurt and he was family, and also because the anger toward Kennet that I was holding onto with all my strength was floating on the surface like a burning battleship, ready to ram into the nearest pier. Of course that doesn’t excuse the way I behaved next but…well...
“It’s true, he didn’t come on to me, Jackie. It was all my idea.” Sinc looked at Sasha and smiled in her very sexy way and that’s what did it. Sinc’s nose became the pier.
I punched her. (I know, I know, I shouldn’t have.) We all heard the crack and then blood was spurting everywhere and she was crying and cursing. After I did it, I felt good for about five seconds and then I felt like crap. Garrett grabbed me roughly away from her, digging his nails into my arms and actually glaring at me. I couldn’t blame him. It was completely wrong. I shook off his hands and went to the fridge to get some ice and gave it to Sasha, who was holding Sinc against him.
“Would you please give her some blood so she can heal quickly?”
“Yes, healer.” Sasha was really pissed at me too. I watched him pull her into his lap and bite his wrist to give her his blood. I was surprised to see how gently he held her and stroked her hair. As soon as she started drinking, the bleeding stopped and her nose stopped swelling.
I sat down across from them and tried to think of what I could say. “You can punch me back if you want. I was way out of line.” Sinc turned away from me, but Sasha smiled. “You have every right to be angry, but when you get up tomorrow morning try to cut me a little slack. I’ve been out of mainstream society for a while and have obviously lost all my social skills. I’m really sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”
I walked upstairs feeling like a stranger in a house I owned. A house I’d called home. For some strange reason, it didn’t feel like home at the moment. In fact, nothing felt right. Who the hell was I? Why had I acted like that? It’s one thing to be angry, but punching someone out of the blue was off the charts crazy. As soon as I reached the top of the stairs Garrett was holding me gently. Wanting more privacy, he led me into the bedroom where I sat on the edge of the bed and started to shake.
He wrapped his arms around me more tightly and kissed my hair. “Jackie, sweetheart, talk to me.”
“I can’t talk about it. It was—I can’t.” I clutched at his shirt. “Please stay with me. I don’t feel like I can be alone.”
“I’ll stay for as long as you need me to.”
“I can’t believe I hit her like that. I’m afraid. I’m losing control.”
“Do you trust me?”
“More than anyone else.”
“Then please talk to me.”
“I’m ashamed—and I’m scared.” I felt a sob choke up from my chest.
“You’re not responsible for what happened. He has incredible mental powers. You know what he did to Aedus and Ethan. All that I care about is that you’re here, my sweet angel, and you’re alive and we have a long, wonderful life ahead of us.”
“You won’t feel that way when I tell you.”
“Jackie, look at me.” I did, although it was hard to meet his eyes.” You’re everything I ever dreamed about in a mate. If you went to him willingly, I would never think badly of you. I told you to give him what he wanted, so you wouldn’t have to suffer.”
I was so confused about what had actually happened. “I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t have sex with him. At least I don’t think I did. He whipped me and beat me and half the time I was unconscious so I don’t know if he…if he raped me.”
“Oh, my angel. I’m so sorry.” I could barely breath he was holding me so tightly, and it still wasn’t tight enough.
“He told you that he had me, remember? Before he fought Aedus in the woods? I don’t remember that happening. I keep trying to remember. I’m trying so hard.” I clutched at his wet shirt and whispered. “But there was one time, when he used his mind to make me want him.” I started to sob uncontrollably. “He made…made me kiss him and my body…my body was turned on. My mind was begging for him to stop but…but I had no control.” I turned and crumpled face down onto the bed and wept, too ashamed to look him in the face.
He lay down next to me and rubbed my back—his face only inches from mine—leaning in to kiss away my tears. He whispered, “Jacqueline, my love, you did nothing wrong.” I turned to look at him, my eyes full of fear and shame. “I will always adore you.” He moved my tear soaked hair out of my eyes. “You’ve been treated so horribly and hurt so badly. Let me care for you tonight, my angel.”
I nodded my head because I couldn’t seem to speak. Some tender care from Garrett might bring me back from the edge. He ran my bath and shampooed my hair, massaged my feet and rubbed my back. He made me soup and listened while I talked about my fear and my pain and my rage. Eventually, I fell asleep in his bed curled up in his arms, feeling more like myself than I had in a very long time.