Chapter Six

Half awake, half asleep, I allowed distant memories to surface of my mother and the last time I saw her. The saddest thing? I liked who I was with her. I liked us—our family. Why did she have to go? Now, love escaped me—from others to myself. No one, not even Dad, could comfort my broken psyche. I knew nothing about me felt pleasant. I hated myself. Why would anyone else care? Not that I wanted them to. I had learned to live with my misery. So, if I had to be miserable, why should I let anyone else off the hook?

I rolled over in the bed and tried to push the sad memories away. I lifted the satin sleeping mask from my face. The morning light blinded me, so I snapped it back on, but not before catching a glimpse of Charlotte and Gabby standing at the foot of my bed. I really did not want to see them right now. “Go away.”

“We can’t,” came Gabby’s voice.

“Sure, you can. Face the door, walk toward it, and leave out of it. Easy peesy.”

“We’re on a mission,” Charlotte said.

The bed jiggled, and I assumed one of them now sat on my mattress. “I don’t care. I’m sleeping.” I rolled over and tucked my comforter tighter under my chin to demonstrate my point.

“We aren’t leaving until you hear us out.”

I’m not sure which one said that, but I felt the pressure of both of them pushing in on my sides. “Fine!” I flipped down the comforter. “What do you want?”

“You missed Mom’s dinner last night,” Gabby said. “We wanted to talk to you about that.”

I lifted the mask to peek out again. Gabby’s strawberry hair frizzed dreadfully in the air, but in some weird way, it matched her prolonged nose and freckles. Put a black pointy hat on her, and she’d be the perfect witch for Halloween. I turned away with an exaggerated sigh.

“She had some good news to share, too.” Gabby shuffled around to the other side of the bed and leaned in.

Her breath smelled of stale coffee and peanut butter. Gross. I covered my face with the pillow and exhaled with a humph, hoping they could sense my exasperation and leave.

“Don’t you want to know what it is?” came Charlotte’s annoying shriek on the other side of me.

Not really. I needed more sleep. To detox from the alcohol still lingering in my system, but more importantly from the past memories that made me spiral into a place of depression. I refused to fall into that state again. I needed to sleep these emotions away.

Gabby squatted by my side and peered between the pillow and mattress, so that her nose came into view. “We got a puppy. Isn’t that great?”

“That’s great,” I said dryly. “One more mouth for my dad to feed.” I tugged the pillow tighter. Please leave.

“Also, Mom, sent us in here because we need some pictures for your dad’s slide show. Do you think you could find us some, please?”

“Go away.”

Charlotte touched my calf.

I hurled my leg away, slammed my back up against the headboard, and yanked off my mask. “Do not touch me! Ever!”

Charlotte’s green eyes broadened as her palms lifted. “Sorry, I just…we need…”

“We need those pictures today,” Gabby said. “The party is on—”

“Look, I know when his party is. I will get the pictures when I’m good and ready to, capisce?” I glared at her a long moment. “Now scram. You’re both messing with my routine.”

“You promise, you’ll get us the pictures?” Gabby dared to ask again.

“Yes, now scram!”

Both scampered out of the room, probably off to cry.

I didn’t ask for sisters. Being an only child suited me just fine. Siblings complicated things. Sharing Dad would never be okay. Especially with those two. Worst choice ever. I had known the sisters since grade school—super nerdy, they had always dressed weird, and continually said the most awkward comments in class. Most people made fun of them. Sure, I used to be nice to them, but not after their mom wiggled into my home. Now, they just annoyed me. I didn’t need sisters or friends. I wanted to be left alone. Was that too much to ask?

Skittles leapt into my lap and wiggled her body into the curve of my thigh in the comforter. I stroked her fur, and she responded by purring. “Okay, I’m lying,” I whispered to her fuzzy ear. Who didn’t want friends? If I reflected honestly, a part of me felt bad about the way I treated those two girls. But my heart hurt too much to go there. I couldn’t forgive their family for moving into mine. Not yet…maybe not ever.

The maid cleared her throat in the doorway. “Miss, just a reminder that your hair appointment is in an hour.”

I yawned and slid to the edge of the bed.

She turned to go.

“Ana.”

The woman pivoted back around; her lips pressed together. “Miss?”

“Did the cook make any baked goods this morning?”

“Yes.”

“What kind?”

“Orange cranberry scones.”

“Awesome. Please have a coffee, the way I like it, and a scone waiting at the door in about thirty minutes.”

“Yes, miss.” She hurried away.

Probably before I could ask for more. I usually did, which made me smile. I felt incredibly ornery this morning. I sighed and shuffled to the restroom.

After a quick shower and a tour of my closet, I sauntered down the stairs in true artistic form. No mystery, I rocked my new designer, cream-colored dress and cheetah heels. I had just reached the bottom stair, when I overheard Meredith talking to Dad on speaker phone.

“She totally blew me off yesterday, Jack. Not to mention, she got home sometime after midnight, totally drunk out of her mind.”

“Are you sure?” came Dad’s voice.

“Yes, she stumbled up the stairs all the way to her room. Look, I won’t have her influencing my girls this way. You have to do something about her, or she is going to destroy this family.”

Too late. You already destroyed this family, I thought before bolting to the entrance and slamming the door behind me. How dare she tattle on me—to my father. That woman had been a pain in my side from the minute she came into our lives. I glanced around the empty driveway. Great. The limo wasn’t parked in front; I would have to drive myself. Normally, I wouldn’t have minded, but right now, my thoughts whirled, and my emotions surged out of control. I just wanted to close my eyes and make the world reset to some sort of sanity.

The front door opened behind me. The maid held out a lunch bag and coffee cup.

I rolled my eyes, ripped them out of her hands, and stormed off to my black sports car. I placed the bag on the roof, dug my keys out of my purse, and clicked the remote to get in. Stupid Meredith. Why did she have to be here? I wanted my mom back so badly. I hated that my reality had come crashing to this point.

I detested who she made me. A wench with a hardened heart that might never heal. I feared I would be a monster forever. Each encounter made it worse. Every day I became a little more awful. I knew it. But it played like a movie outside my body. I could not curb my evil thoughts. I could not stop my rage. My wicked actions overtook me again and again. No one truly wanted to be this cruel, unless she had some sort of psychotic condition. Did I? Am I insane? I closed my eyes and exhaled out all my air until it hurt.

A twig fell from a nearby tree onto my car’s roof and startled me. A few tears had escaped down my cheeks. I had cried more in the last twenty-four hours than I had in years. It irritated me.

I flipped down the mirror on my car visor and dabbed at my damp eyes. One drop had lined my makeup and left a black smudge on my right cheek. I had to stop thinking about this stuff. I had suppressed these memories for a darn good reason. Why were they coming back? I did not want this. I needed to forget—to be lost in some boy’s arms or in the bottom of a bottle. I slammed the visor up, jammed the key in the ignition, and twisted it. The engine roared to life. I squealed out of the parking lot, determined to ignore the past, and be lost in the now.