Sue leaned against the door and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. She stood there a long time, waiting to hear Elias leave. There was no sound from the deck.
She pushed away from the door, went to the window and peered out. He was gone.
The ache in her chest grew and she wrapped her arms around herself. God, she could still taste him, still feel the heat from his hands where he’d touched her. She shuddered and hurried to the bathroom. Not wanting to see herself in the glare of the lights, she brushed her teeth in the dark and cleaned herself up.
Her breasts ached and her inner thighs were tender. She knew her skin was probably marked in several places from the slight stubble on his jaw. She might even have a bruise or two. The back deck had been rough against her back, not to mention her knees.
Bed beckoned even though she knew she wouldn’t sleep. But Billy would be waking up in a matter of hours, which meant she had to be up too. She missed her parents all the time, but even more so in moments like this. How many mornings had her mother or father gotten up with Billy, allowing her to sleep after she’d put in a long shift at the diner? They’d never complained, never made her feel like a failure.
They’d loved and supported her. Now they were gone.
The first tear fell as soon as her head hit the pillow. “What have I done?” she whispered to the darkness.
She’d been bold. More daring that she could have ever imagined. Letting him touch her out there in the open, touching him in return. She’d surprised herself when she’d taken charge, pushed him into the chair and gone down on him. She’d enjoyed having such a powerful man at her mercy, reveled in the way he’d groaned and urged her on.
It had made her feel like she was more than just a mother, a worker or a daughter. For the first time in years, she’d felt like a woman.
It wasn’t the end of the world. Yes, she’d had sex with a man she barely knew. And not really sex. They’d given one another mutual pleasure. They were both unattached adults. There wasn’t anything wrong with what they’d done.
Another tear clung to her cheek as it rolled downward, eventually plopping onto her pillow. She sniffed and swiped at her face.
Stupidly, she’d opened her heart to Elias. She wasn’t the type of woman who could be with a man without there being an emotional attachment.
She rolled onto her back and shifted restlessly. Her body felt unnaturally alive, every cell still humming from her orgasm.
She’d been better off when she hadn’t realized what she’d been missing. Now that she knew, she’d never be able to settle for anything less.
“It doesn’t matter,” she consoled herself. Billy was her priority, not getting a boyfriend or a husband. No, all her energy had to go to providing a good life for her son.
Elias wouldn’t be back. Their goodbye tonight had felt final. Sage was his priority. She got that, she really did, but it still hurt.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and slowly released it. It didn’t help. Sue knew she’d remember tonight for as long as she lived. Elias would always be the perfect man who’d stepped into her life for such a brief moment but who’d made such a huge impact.
For better or worse, he’d opened her eyes to the possibilities of life again. She didn’t know whether to curse him or thank him. Either way, there was no going back. Only forward.
She just wished it didn’t have to hurt so much.
Elias ran hard and fast, but there was no outrunning his feelings. He’d wanted to rip the door to her home open and go after her. He’d known she was only on the other side of the door. He’d put his hand on the thick panel and listened to her ragged breath.
He’d hated himself and the world at that moment.
He’d found the strength to leave, knowing that staying was only hurting them both. He hated the idea of hurting Sue.
Elias came to a halt and walked in a circle. He dragged his fingers through his hair, yanking hard on the strands. He wanted to howl. He wanted to fight.
Instead, he dragged in one deep breath and then another. Bad idea. He could still smell Sue on his skin. He raised his hands to his face and inhaled.
Shit, he had it bad.
He dropped his hands back down by his sides and sniffed the air until he found what he was searching for. He stalked through the trees, more cautious now. Honestly, he was acting more like a teenager than Reece was. Running around in the woods with no sense of caution was stupid. Anyone could be out here. There wasn’t just a wolf pack living nearby, but humans as well. There was always someone camping or hunting out of season.
He heard the light trickle of the stream and headed toward it. The moon shone down on the water and made it glisten like tiny jewels scattered across a dark expanse. Elias wished Sue were here to see it.
“Idiot,” he muttered. He toed off his sneakers and shucked his shorts. Naked, he strode to the center of the stream. It wasn’t deep, not more than three feet, but it was enough.
He lay down in the running water and let it cool his hot skin. Not that it helped. Nothing short of standing naked in an Alaskan winter would cool him down. He growled and ducked his head under the water. When he raised it, he slicked his hair out of his eyes and began to methodically rub his hands over his body, ridding himself of Sue’s scent.
He hated having to do it, but he had no choice. If he walked back to camp smelling like Sue, both boys would know what had happened. They’d probably speculate anyway, but that was different from knowing for sure.
He wasn’t ashamed of what he and Sue had shared. He did hate that he’d had to walk away from her. He didn’t want Sage or Reece blaming themselves for that.
Elias stood and slicked the water off his body. His damn cock was still aroused. He waded to the shore, picked up his stuff and began to walk back to the camp. The night air helped dry his body. By the time he arrived, only the ends of his hair were still damp.
Reece was awake and watching as Elias stepped from between two trees. “You okay?” he asked.
Elias nodded. “Fine. Everything okay here?”
“It was quiet.” Reece closed his eyes again. “’Night.”
“Goodnight, Reece.”
Elias tossed his shorts and sneakers down by his sleeping bag. He was restless and still wanted to run. Not just run. He wanted to shift and let his wolf run wild and free. The enforced confinement of the past few months was really starting to get to him. If things didn’t work out with the Salvation Pack, he was going to take the boys somewhere isolated where both he and Reece could run in relative safety.
He threw himself down on top of his sleeping bag. There was no way he could bear having the thin material covering him. Not tonight.
“Is Sue okay?” Sage asked.
Elias closed his eyes and prayed for patience. He wasn’t surprised it was Sage who asked. He knew the boy felt protective over Sue. “Yes, she’s fine.” He hoped he wasn’t lying. As much as Sue had enjoyed herself tonight, he knew she was probably having second thoughts right about now.
That made him feel slightly savage.
His curt reply must have satisfied his nephew. Either that or Sage thought better about prying any deeper. Now Elias felt even crappier. Before he could decide what to say to smooth things over with his nephew, Sage spoke again.
“Are you okay?”
He started to say fine but stopped. He owed the boy the truth. “I will be.” That was the truth. Whatever he had to get through, he would. The boys were his priority. As much as he wanted Sue, there was no place for her in their world.
He’d gotten through leaving his family behind, the death of his brother and sister-in-law and becoming sole guardian of two teenage werewolves. He’d get through this too. Eventually.
But right now, it hurt like bloody hell.
Elias closed his eyes and forced himself to relax. He had to rest. Tomorrow was a big day for all of them.
When Elias woke, it was to the smell of bacon sizzling and fresh coffee brewing. He opened his eyes and found Sage watching him. His nephew held out a mug of coffee.
“Thought you might need this.”
He took the mug and had a swallow. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Sage was wearing jeans and a tank top and looked as though he’d been up for a while.
Elias carefully set the mug down, stood and stretched. He knew the twins were watching him. Sage sipped his own cup of coffee while Reece manned the small propane stove.
“Smells good,” he told Reece.
“Figured you could use a good breakfast this morning.” Elias could see the worry in Reece’s eyes, but there was nothing he could do about that. Until things were settled with the Salvation Pack, one way or another, they needed to be worried. It would help keep them safe.
Elias went to the back of the SUV and dug through his duffle until he found a clean pair of jeans and a brown tank. He slipped both on and padded back to his sleeping bag. “Didn’t mean to sleep so late. What time is it?”
“Not quite eight. You’ve got plenty of time,” Sage told him.
Elias picked up his sleeping bag, shook it out and rolled it before tossing it into the back of the SUV. That done, he grabbed his coffee and downed the rest of it in one gulp.
“You were out running until late,” Reece pointed out. He scooped the bacon out of the pan and began breaking eggs into it. They sizzled and popped when they hit the hot bacon grease.
“Yeah, I was. Sorry I was gone longer than I’d anticipated.” That was all he was going to say about it. He went to the stove and grabbed the rag Reece had used to protect his fingers and he poured himself another cup of coffee.
Sage started preparing three plates of food. He divided the bacon evenly and then Reece added the eggs. They were growing up so fast. Elias knew that whatever happened today, the boys were able to take care of themselves.
“Here.” Sage held out one of the plates to him.
“Thanks for breakfast,” he told the two of them. “Appreciate it.”
Reece shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
Elias sat on the ground and leaned against the broad trunk of a tree. “It’s not nothing.” Shit, like any self-respecting werewolf, he hated talking about his feelings, but this was not the time to be a coward. There were things he needed to say to his nephews just in case things went horribly wrong this morning.
“Look, I have no idea what’s going to happen with the Salvation Pack. They may want to meet you, they may tell us to fuck off or they may kill me.” The last was always a possibility. “If that happens, they’ll come for you next.”
Reece narrowed his eyes and Sage frowned. “Maybe we should go with you,” Reece began.
“No.” Elias shook his head. “I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m dealing with the alpha of the pack. I need to know you’re safe.” That was everything to him. He picked up a piece of bacon and munched on it. He was starving after all the running he’d done last night. This meal was little more than a snack.
“I don’t like this,” Sage muttered.
“I know you don’t, but it’s what’s going to happen.” He was the alpha of this small pack. His word was law.
Sage went silent and looked down at his plate.
“This is what’s best for you,” he reminded them. “If things go well, we’ll become part of the Salvation pack. We can try it out for a while and decide if it’s what we want.” He had another mouthful of coffee, needing every ounce of energy he could get today.
“But we can leave if it doesn’t work out, right?”
Elias knew that Sage was especially worried because he was the half-breed that couldn’t shift. “We’ll decide as a family,” he promised the boy.
They ate in silence until their plates were empty.
“What about Sue and Billy?” Reece asked.
Elias ignored the pang in his heart and stood. “They’re both fully human,” he reminded Reece. “If we stay, we can’t be close to them. That would only put the pack and us, and therefore them, in danger. And if we have to leave…” Elias shrugged, trying to act like it was no big deal when it felt as though someone was cutting his heart out through his chest with a rusty knife.
Reece nodded, but Elias could tell he wasn’t happy. Neither was Sage. Hell, neither was he, but there was no changing reality.
“I need to get going.” He could run fast, but it would still take him a while to get to the meeting place. It was going to be cutting it close as it was. The last thing he wanted to do was be late and piss off Jacque LaForge.
“Pack everything into the SUV. If you haven’t heard from me by ten, leave town, but don’t go too far. If you haven’t heard from me by eleven, go to Chicago to the safety deposit box, get everything out of it and hit the road.” He walked over to stand in front of both boys. He reached out, wrapped his hands around the backs of their necks and pulled them in so they were in a tight huddle, their foreheads touching. “You understand me. I want you safe. I need you to be safe.”
They were all that were left of his brother. Beyond that, he loved them as if they were his own sons.
He released them and sat down to pull on his sneakers. “Remember. Ten o’clock and you’re out of here.”
Elias hated like hell to leave them like this, not knowing if he’d ever see them again. He dragged Reece into his arms and hugged him. Then he did the same to Sage. Standing side by side, they were carbon copies of one another, yet Elias had never had any problems telling them apart. They were very different people, each with unique strengths and weaknesses.
“Take care of each other, and I’ll see you in a while. Keep your phones handy in case I have to contact you,” he reminded them. Not that he really needed to. Like most teens, their phones were surgically attached to them. Not that they used them too much anymore. Not with their parents gone and their hometown far behind them.
He glanced at the sky and walked to the end of the clearing. “I’ll call,” he promised, hoping it was the truth. He’d never lied to them before and didn’t want to start now.
He looked back one final time. His nephews were almost men, almost grown, but they were still young enough to need a pack, to need a home. He turned away and started running, praying like hell he wasn’t making a mistake.
Sage tossed the paper plates into a trash bag and started cleaning up the campsite. Reece watched his uncle until there was no longer any sign of him.
“What are we going to do?” Reece asked his twin.
Sage didn’t even bother looking at him but started rolling up his sleeping bag. “What do you think?”
Reece grinned. That was the great thing about being a twin. He didn’t have to wonder what Sage was thinking. He already knew. “He’ll kill us if he finds out,” Reece felt compelled to point out.
Sage tossed his sleeping bag toward the SUV. “Then we can’t let him find out.”
Reece laughed. “And everyone thinks I’m the devious one. You’ve sure got them all fooled, bro.” He got to work putting the remaining food back into their cooler and breaking down the stove.
“What do you think happened last night between Uncle Elias and Sue?” Sage asked.
Reece wiped his hands on his jeans and shrugged. “I’m not sure I want to know.” It was weird thinking about his uncle and Sue together.
“He looks at her the same way that Dad looked at Mom.” Sage got quiet and Reece knew his brother was hurting, because he was too. It was still hard to believe their folks were gone.
“Yeah, I don’t want to think about that.” Reece picked up the cooler and carried it to the vehicle. He shoved a few things aside to make room. It was weird to think about his uncle being attracted to a woman, especially a human. He liked Sue, he really did, but it was still weird.
“I think they had sex.”
“Jesus, Sage.” Reece fought the urge to cover his ears. “I don’t want that imagine in my head.”
“Don’t you like Sue?” Sage stood with his head tilted to one side and his hands on his hips. It was the scowl on his face that alerted Reece to the fact that his brother was pissed off.
“Of course I like her. That’s got nothing to do with it.”
“Is it the fact she’s human? I mean, I might as well be human since I can’t shift.”
Reece stalked over to his brother and pulled him into his arms. “First of all, you’re not human. You’re a werewolf. You’ve got the senses and the instincts. Doesn’t matter that you can’t shift.”
He leaned back so he could stare into his brother’s eyes. Eyes that were identical to his own. “It doesn’t matter to me that Sue is human, but it’s not safe for her to be involved in our world. We don’t know what the other wolves might do to her and Billy.”
“You’re right.” Sage released a pent-up breath and rubbed his hand over his face. Reece was struck by the gesture. It was one he’d seen his father make many times. God, he missed his parents so badly. It was an ache that never went away.
“Besides,” Reece added, “I just don’t want to picture Uncle Elias getting it on with any woman.” He shuddered. “That’s like picturing Mom and Dad having sex.”
“Eww.” Sage smacked him on the arm. “Why did you have to put it like that?”
“That’s how I see it.” Reece grabbed his knapsack and headed back to the SUV.
“Man, I need to get that image out of my head.” Sage picked up a stray water bottle and tossed it in with the rest of the trash. Usually, they’d recycle, but there was no place to do so on the road. “I think they’d be good together.”
“Maybe.” Reece went back to the stove. It was still warm but not hot. It would have to do. They couldn’t leave it here. “We need to get going. We can worry about Uncle Elias’s love life later.” If they were all still alive. He didn’t add that last bit because he knew Sage was thinking it too.
Reece loaded the stove into the SUV, making sure it was safely away from everything else. “Let’s go.”
Sage took one more look around the campsite to make certain they hadn’t left anything behind. Then he grabbed his knapsack and went to the passenger side of the SUV. Reece was driving. They took turns so they’d both get experience. They had driver’s licenses, but neither of them had clocked a lot of miles.
Sage glanced at his watch. “Uncle Elias should be there by now.”
Reece started the SUV. “We won’t be long behind him.”