Ariel and Julia sat in the backseat while I drove us to Heathrow. I had resolved to say as little as possible to Ariel when I agreed to drive her to the airport, and Julia made that easier for me to keep my mouth shut while she flirted with Ariel in the backseat.
Julia met Ariel for a drink the night before when I begged off. She spent the night with her. Was she out to punish me? She knew how dangerous Ariel was. I didn’t even have room to feel jealous or turned on at the image of them doing it. I was more preoccupied with the thought that Ariel would cheerfully murder us if she was ordered to.
Their schoolgirl flirting continued all the way to the departure terminal.
“Hey, Ravi.” Ariel smiled. “You never told me about this firecracker you got.”
“We had broken up at the time.”
“So I was your rebound? Guess what? I was her rebound as well.”
“The thing about rebounds,” I said, controlling myself, “is they’re temporary.”
“You realize I’m bound to you now,” she said, as she kissed me full on the lips. “Both of you.”
She kissed Julia as well, a bit longer or was it my imagination? Was this to torture or titillate me or both?
“Till next time,” Ariel said, picking up her carry-on.
“I sincerely hope not,” I said.
“Babe, you know there’s going to be a next time.”
“Let me at least fantasize there won’t.”
“Hey, why don’t you come with me to India? Offer’s still open. Julia’s open to the idea. You could use a vacation, too.”
“Once again, I have to decline. Besides, life is even cheaper in India, and my chances of getting murdered there are much higher than if I stayed here.”
“I’ll protect you,” she said jokingly.
“And who will protect us from you?”
“See?” said Julia. “I told you he’d say that.”
“I’m going to miss you kids,” said Ariel. “Julia, look after him, will you?”
We watched her go through the gate. She turned back one last time and waved like this was the end of a lovely holiday.
“Oh, one more thing.” She seemed to remember something. “Watch your ass with that Marcie Holder, or whatever her name is. She’ll sell you out in the end. Goddamn spooks always do.”
Then she was gone.
“Right, then.” Julia took my arm. “Shall we be off?”
She seemed awfully cheerful as we got in the car and drove down the M4 back to London.
“I suppose I should be glad I didn’t have to slit her throat last night,” she said.
“You what?”
“I was going to kill her. During sex. I brought a blade and everything.”
That feeling of the world dropping away from my feet again.
“You’re not joking,” I said, rather weakly, because there was nothing else I could think to say even as my mouth was already moving, so the bleeding obvious became the only option.
“Marcie told me what had happened. That you were worried she might be a danger to you and your family.”
“And to you.”
“That’s why I arranged to meet her for a drink. Suss her out, right?”
“I never wanted you anywhere near her.”
“I wanted to see if she really was a threat. What I saw was that she has even fewer boundaries than me. Anything really does go with her. Once I saw that she was up for it, we went to her room and had it off. I didn’t like her, so it fed my addiction something fierce. At least it was for a purpose. I made sure she wasn’t going to forget it, even if she might be dead shortly after.”
“You were going to murder her.”
“If she was a threat to you. I decided she wasn’t. For now.”
This fucking job!
“She’s a trained professional. She could have killed you instead.”
“I got her right and proper drunk and tied her wrists to the bedpost with the sheets. I knew not to take chances. She was well into it. If she somehow got loose and killed me, I would have made sure I took her with me.”
“Did you think about how you were going to get away with it if you survived?”
“Oh, Ken and Clive gave me a few pointers. Like taking a shower afterwards to wash all the blood away and scrubbing my prints off everything. If the law caught up with me, I would have said she attacked me and it was a sex game gone wrong. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You could have gone to jail.”
“But you would be safe from her. That’s what matters in the end.”
I felt the impact then, of how far she was willing to go for me, a gift I didn’t deserve.
“I brought you into this job, and now it’s warped you like it did me.”
“Stop it, Ravi. I chose to work at Golden Sentinels. I always had it in me. The abuse I suffered, then the years of protecting Louise, I was perfectly prepared to kill to keep her safe.”
“Well, I’m really glad my girlfriend hasn’t committed murder. Or been murdered.”
“Did you just call me your girlfriend?”
“Well, breaking up didn’t exactly work, did it? Neither of us really wanted it.”
“I told you. I don’t need someone to protect me. I want someone to share my crazy life with.”
“And I have the same crazy life.”
“So we’re stuck with each other, then?”
What was I going to say? I felt whole being with her, with her generosity, her seemingly infinite capacity to forgive, and her refusal to be less than an equal.
“Aren’t you going to ask me for details?” she asked.
“About what?”
“About how she was in bed.”
“I already know what she’s like in bed.”
“Well, it might be different with a woman.”
“Unless there are real academic benefits to that, I’ll keep it to my imagination.”
“Don’t you want a threesome? She would have well been up for it.”
“No, thank you. I draw the line at sex with murderous sociopaths.”
“Bit late for that, my love.”
“That was before I found out what she really was.”
“Semantics. Randiness knows no bounds.”
“Might I suggest you talk about this at your next therapy session?”
“I’ll leave out the murder part,” she said, happy.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend willing to kill for me before.”
“Ravi, do you want to quit Golden Sentinels? I’ll leave with you if you decide that.”
“I still need the money. And, well, sod it. There are people who are in real trouble that I can help.”
“That’s a far cry from all the times you were talking about getting out if it gets too horrible.”
“I don’t think Marcie will really let me truly quit, anyway. To her, I’m an asset she finds useful. So even if I were screaming and kicking, I’m well in it. I’m all in. Might as well accept it.”
Ariel may have gone, but Kali was still there with me. She had probably been there all along, never leaving me.