To Care or Not to Care

Wearing a torn blouse was against uniform regulations, but since she was persona non grata, Veronica didn’t think anyone would notice. She felt good in the wooden chair. Every room except the science lab, which had stools, had hard-backed wooden chairs. It was a mourner’s delight.

“Veronica,” Sarah-Lisa said, “you should run home at lunch and put on a new shirt. It’s, like, ripped.”

“It’s torn on purpose,” Veronica said. “I’m sitting shiva for my dog.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sarah-Lisa said.

“I am in a period of mourning.”

Sarah-Lisa looked at Veronica like she was speaking in tongues. Veronica pressed her back against the slats of her wooden chair feeling almost saintly, like a monk wearing a hair shirt.

Later, in art, Sylvie and Veronica were at the sink, washing paintbrushes. The water was warm and the soap felt soft against the bristles. Sylvie noticed Veronica’s necklace.

“It’s filled with ashes,” Veronica told her.

“Nice,” Sylvie said with a genuine smile. Veronica had expected Sylvie to flinch. But she didn’t.

*   *   *

At lunch, Athena put her tray down next to Veronica’s. Athena pushed her school lunch around while Veronica unpacked her cheddar cheese sandwich. Her mother had also put in a Tupperware of peeled pomegranate. The seeds glistened like jewels. Veronica ate a handful.

“I’ve never seen a necklace like that,” Athena said. Veronica moved closer and let Athena hold it. “Is it an antique?” she asked.

“No. It comes from a crematorium,” Sylvie said, piping in from out of nowhere as she so often did.

Veronica held the vial up to the light.

Melody and Sarah-Lisa walked over. Since Veronica’s outing as the person who was mean to Melody, Sarah-Lisa had taken Melody on like a charity case. Maybe all the A Team’s social atoms could rebond, allowing Athena and Veronica to attach while Sarah-Lisa and Melody could form a new and separate chemical chain.

“What’s a crematorium?” Sarah-Lisa asked.

“It’s where the remains of dead bodies are burned,” Athena said.

How did Athena know things like that? She wasn’t one of those people whose heads were filled with useless facts so she could show off. She was just a person with too much life experience.

“My dog, the one that died, that you met, is in there. Some of him.”

“Oh my gosh,” Melody gasped.

Veronica couldn’t tell if Melody was scared or fascinated by the necklace, or both.

“Her dog’s ashes are in there?” Sarah-Lisa asked incredulously.

“Yes, they are,” Veronica said. She looked right at Sarah-Lisa.

“Let me see that,” Sarah-Lisa said. But she wouldn’t look at Veronica. She looked at the necklace. She put the vial in her hand. “There is no way her dog is in there.”

“He is,” Veronica declared. Disturbing Sarah-Lisa with this information filled Veronica with a joyous sensation. “I mean, not all of him, but some of him,” Veronica added for good measure.

“It’s touching,” Athena said.

“It’s not touching,” Sarah-Lisa said, but she was still holding the necklace in her hand. “It’s disgusting.”

“It is sort of disgusting,” Melody said, moving closer to Sarah-Lisa.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t sit here with dead dog matter. Not during lunch,” Sarah-Lisa said, and let go of the necklace. She picked up her tray and left. Melody followed.

“I think it’s interesting. To care that much,” Athena said. She smiled at Veronica before walking away to join Sarah-Lisa and Melody. Veronica watched them go, wondering if she would ever feel comfortable with them again.

“It’s not interesting to care that much,” Sylvie said to Veronica when everyone was gone. “It’s necessary.”

*   *   *

Athena was waiting at Veronica’s locker after French. She was standing so close, Veronica could practically count her eyelashes.

“Athena?” Veronica asked.

“Yes,” Athena said.

Veronica wanted to ask what she’d always wanted to ask: Why aren’t we best friends? But she sensed Sarah-Lisa coming around the corner any second and that was the answer to her question anyway. They weren’t best friends because Sarah-Lisa got there first.

“You should really come to Sarah-Lisa’s Valentine’s party. You haven’t come to one yet,” Athena said. “Sometimes parties cheer people up.”

“Maybe,” Veronica said.

“There are always strawberries the size of human fists there. And a chocolate fountain. You should really come.”

Sarah-Lisa rounded the lockers and Veronica felt like she and Athena had been caught. Doing what? Talking? Sarah-Lisa always made Veronica feel bad about something.

“Athena. Come,” Sarah-Lisa said. Athena stood between Veronica and Sarah-Lisa. Then she followed Sarah-Lisa down the hall like a good little doggie.