THE NOVICE LED ME from the small changing room to the huge central space dotted by wooden support pillars and dominated by a low altar, where Andoc stood tall and proud in his nakedness. I flushed again, for a slightly different reason this time, before my eyes were drawn to Senovo, clad in white, standing behind the flat stone with his hands folded into the sleeves of his robes. As I got closer, I could see the ceremonial kohl lining his eyes, making them appear even deeper and more striking than usual.
My heart was racing by the time Eiridan delivered me into Andoc’s arms. I was somewhat surprised to discover that Andoc’s was beating nearly as fast, thrumming between us where our skin touched. Eiridan moved smoothly into an unobtrusive position behind the altar, which was draped with a soft suede deer hide to catch my virgin blood, if there was any. I shivered a bit at the thought.
Senovo met our eyes in turn and raised his hands, palm up.
“Mighty Naloth, He Who Seeds the Earth and Brings the Rain,” he said in a clear tone that echoed around the space but was still, somehow, quite intimate. “Bountiful Utarr, She Who Bears Fruit. Bless, tonight, this union between Andoc and Carivel, two of your children. They come before you as they came into this world, naked in the eyes of gods and men.
“Carivel. Andoc. Tonight you tie your destinies together under the gods’ watchful gaze. To symbolize this union, Novice Eiridan will bind your hands, teaching you to work together as one, relying on each other as you have previously relied only on yourselves. Do you both agree to this handfasting, freely and joyfully?”
“We do,” I lied smoothly, Andoc’s voice echoing mine a breath later.
Eiridan circled around the altar to face us, and I got my first glimpse of the thongs that would tie our hands together for a night and a day. Andoc held out his right hand and I grasped it with my left, feeling lightheaded as the novice wove the soft leather bindings around our fingers and palms in a complicated web that was both effective and beautiful to look upon. When he was satisfied that the tie would hold, Eiridan reached up and pressed his cool hand to my forehead in a blessing.
“May the gods smile upon your future together, Horse Mistress,” he said, and moved his hand to Andoc’s head. “Peace and prosperity be upon your union, First Warrior.”
Once the novice priest returned to his position in the background, Senovo lowered his hands to rest lightly on the altar. “You are now joined—one heart, one soul,” he said. “Celebrate your union before the gods. Find your joy within each other, that new life... may... grow from the fertile field of your love.”
The pause was tiny, but noticeable, and my stomach clenched. Actually, I thought to the unseen presences who were presumably hovering around us in the temple, if we could avoid that part for the time being, that would be great. Please?
Andoc’s kiss dragged my attention back to the here-and-now. I pulled him to me almost desperately, alarmed to find that I was about as far from aroused as I had ever been in my life.
“Easy,” he said between kisses. “Easy, now, caradi... I’ve got you... it will be all right...”
I tugged him back toward the altar, just wanting it to be over. When the backs of my knees hit the hard stone, Andoc steadied me using our bound hands, and I flinched at the reminder that I was trapped in this way as well.
“Senovo,” Andoc said under his breath, and suddenly Senovo was there as well, with a hand under the elbow of my free arm. The two of them eased me down to sit on the edge of the stone slab and I concentrated on breathing for a bit. When I came back to myself, Andoc was running the fingers of his left hand through my short hair and Senovo was crouched in front of me at eye level.
“Carivel,” he said, speaking very slowly and clearly, “talk to us. Do you still wish to complete the handfasting?”
“Yes!” I gasped, even more panicked than I was before at the thought of all this having been for nothing.
“Very well,” Senovo soothed, while Andoc continued his slow caresses, never breaking the rhythm.
Through an effort of will, I swallowed down all the worry and fear inside me until I could meet his eyes and speak more calmly. “I’m sorry. Don’t mind me, it’s only nerves. It’s fine.”
Senovo looked like he was fighting his own demons, but his voice was level as he replied. “I understand completely. We both do.” His eyes flicked up to Andoc, who looked unusually pale as he nodded. I wondered idly what Eiridan was making of all this, but I was afraid to look and find out.
“Carivel,” Andoc said, drawing my attention back to him, “do you want to be on top for this? Would that be easier?”
I thought about it for a moment, or tried to—my mind still shied away from speculating about the act directly. I didn’t want to think about Andoc’s prick shooting seed into my womb. About falling pregnant. About being a mother. Having a child I didn’t want... just like my mother hadn’t wanted me.
“I don’t want to have to move or do anything... you know—during,” I managed eventually.
After a moment, Senovo said, “Hands and knees at the edge of the altar, then, while you take her from behind, standing up, I think. Andoc?”
“Whatever you think would be best,” Andoc said, still watching me closely. “Carivel... caradi? Did you hear that?”
I nodded, not caring about the details, just that it would be over soon. To that end, I twisted around so that our bound hands wouldn’t get tangled and knelt on the edge of the stone, the thick hide covering it barely sufficient to protect my knees. I balanced my upper body over my right forearm, my left arm stretched awkwardly across the small of my back, to join with Andoc’s right as he stood behind me.
“Carivel, wait,” Andoc said, sounding more at sea than I’d ever heard him as his free hand steadied my hip. “At least let me prepare you first. We can pleasure each other in some other way...”
I shook my head, almost frantically. “It won’t work right now... I can’t. Please, Andoc, I just want it over!”
“You’re not even wet!” Andoc shot back. “And I’m certainly not hard!”
“Andoc,” Senovo said, his voice injecting a welcome calm, “I have oil. Under the circumstances, this may be the best way... and it is what Carivel wants.”
“High Priest,” Eiridan interjected, “Forgive me, but I am not at all comfortable with what is happening here.”
I clenched my eyes shut, sensing yet more obstacles in the offing. Senovo’s voice showed strain for the first time as he replied, “Eiridan, you are correct to offer an objection, of course. There are circumstances involved in this handfasting of which you are unaware. My failure to explain them to you ahead of time was probably poor judgment on my part, and my only excuse is that I am tasked with protecting a number of conflicting confidences related to this matter.”
I flopped over, boneless, and buried my face in the crook of my free arm. “It’s all right,” I said into the hide beneath me. “I’ll tell him. I... I trust him.”
“Horse Mistress?” Eiridan asked, sounding completely lost.
“You call me Horse Mistress, Eiridan,” I said, “but up until a few days ago, the people of Draebard knew me only as a man. I’d been living as one since I moved here three years ago and apprenticed myself to the old Horse Master. Volya was furious when he found out I was female, but he needs the treaty with the Mereni, and Magoldis only agreed to the treaty because she thought Volya had softened toward letting women hold positions of power.”
Eiridan was silent for a moment, digesting this new information. “And... this handfasting?”
I rolled my head to the side so I could see him properly, aware of the ridiculous figure I must have cut, curled naked on the altar. “The handfasting was Volya’s price for my position in Draebard. As First Warrior, Andoc is under his control, and now I will be under Andoc’s.”
“But you do love each other,” Eiridan said, watching my face intently even though he’d presented it as a statement rather than a question.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “And that’s why we’ve agreed to do it.”
“And yet, you fear coupling with him.”
I steeled myself to reply honestly. “Yes. When I said I’d been living as a man since I came here, I didn’t just mean I’d been cutting my hair short and wearing trousers.”
Eiridan looked taken aback. “So you do not desire men?”
“No, I do desire men. I just don’t desire to be taken like a woman. However, thanks to Volya, that’s the price of my acceptance here, as Horse Mistress in Draebard.”
Eiridan blinked. “I see.” His gaze turned inward for a moment before he looked back at Senovo. “High Priest... my loyalty to you, and to the temple is absolute, and I want you to know that nothing said here will go beyond these walls.”
“Thank you, Little Brother,” Senovo said. “You have behaved honorably. I unwittingly trapped you in a difficult position, for which I am sorry.”
“I understand why you did it, Elder Brother. However, there are many things here that I find unacceptable. I think it might be preferable if I were not present for the remainder of the ceremony in case there are any further... unusual occurrences that people might later ask me about—if you take my meaning.” He turned his attention back to me. “Unless, of course, either the Horse Mistress or the First Warrior would prefer me to stay?”
I shook my head almost immediately, relieved at the idea of having one less person witness what was likely to be an unpleasant few minutes for everyone involved. Beside me, Andoc said, “No, Eiridan, you don’t need to stay. And I’m sorry you were put in this situation in the first place.”
“And I am sorry that the two of you were placed in this position by circumstances you could not control,” Eiridan replied. “If asked, I will say that High Priest Senovo sent me for some tea to help the couple relax during the ceremony. Unfortunately, as I am still unfamiliar with the temple, it took me longer than it should have, and the coupling was complete when I returned.”
“You’re a good man, Eiridan,” Andoc said.
Eiridan flickered an eyebrow. “I can see now why the High Priest chose me instead of Feldes to assist, despite the fact that he has almost a year’s seniority over me. I think Brother Feldes might have suffered an apoplectic fit after hearing this tale.”
“It is true that I’ve sensed a certain... flexibility in you that Novice Feldes does not possess,” Senovo allowed. “Thank you again, Little Brother. If you could... go get that tea, it would be greatly appreciated.”
Eiridan bowed to all of us and left the room, his sandals clacking softly against the stone floor until the sound faded away into the depths of the temple. When we were alone, Andoc turned to Senovo.
“Novice Eiridan has just given me an idea,” he said, “and I need both of you to trust me. Senovo, hand me that oil, and then sit down in front of Carivel and let her rest her head in your lap while I take her from behind. Just... focus on her, please, amadi.”
Senovo gave Andoc a long, speculative look, but he unstoppered the oil and handed it to Andoc without further comment. My heart resumed its frantic pace—this was it, it was really going to happen now. I swallowed against the strange obstruction blocking my throat and resumed my position at the edge of the altar, presenting my cunt in the air like a bitch in heat. Though the bitch actually wants to be fucked, my inner voice added, snide and unhelpful as always.
This time, Senovo sat down in front of me, and I buried my face in his flowing white robes. Rather than stroke my head as Andoc had done, he looped an arm across my back and cupped my left shoulder in a gesture of support.
“Hurry, please,” I begged, the words muffled in soft linen. Tears were pricking at my eyes, and I didn’t know how much longer I could maintain my composure.
“Just a moment more, caradi,” Andoc said. I could hear the sound of flesh slapping against oiled flesh, and I pictured him oiling up his cock, bringing it to full hardness. Clammy sweat broke out across my face and chest despite the pleasantly cool air inside the temple.
I jerked in surprise and clenched my eyes shut when his free hand touched my left buttock, pressing my face harder against Senovo’s thigh. Fingers trailed down and I held my breath, but rather than pressing inside me, they slid, slick and oily, into the space between the top of my thighs. Andoc spread oil generously over my slit and around the skin of my inner thighs.
“There,” he said, pulling his fingers away. A strong, slippery hand repositioned my legs slightly, urging me to kneel with my knees pressed tightly together. “Perfect. Trust me now, caradi. I promise not to hurt you.”
Andoc’s large, blunt cock pressed at the apex of my thighs, but instead of invading me painfully, it slid home into the soft, tight space framed by my mons and the top of my legs.
“Wha—” I gasped in surprise, as pleasant tingles skittered up my spine. Andoc pulled back and slid home again, taking up a smooth rhythm that rubbed back and forth over my sensitive inner lips rather than penetrating me.
I clutched convulsively at Senovo’s robes, a few of the tears that had threatened earlier squeezing out past my tightly closed eyelids as gratitude overcame me. Andoc was going to fake our coupling, right here on the altar. I wasn’t sure if his attempt to protect Senovo from complicity in the deception had any merit in the gods’ eyes or not. If the gods were just, I suspected we were going to end up paying for this duplicity sooner or later... but right now I didn’t care one whit.
“That’s it,” Andoc soothed as I gradually wrestled my ragged breathing back under control. “You’re all right now, caradi. So slick and tight for me... you feel so good.”
I couldn’t help it... I whimpered, and Senovo smoothed his hand down the length of my back, playing the pads of his fingers over the dimples at the base of my spine. Andoc’s thrusts grew faster and stronger, his balls slapping against my skin as he drove home again and again. The slip and slide of sensitive, oiled flesh grew more and more enjoyable as my earlier panic receded into the background. I thought that I might like to try this sometime when I wasn’t quite so busy committing blasphemy with one arm twisted uncomfortably behind me. Perhaps Senovo would let me suck him some day while Andoc took me like this...
My thoughts were interrupted when Andoc grunted, his smooth thrusts becoming erratic. He buried the head of his cock in the soft skin of my thighs and growled, his warm spend dripping down my legs onto the deer hide beneath me. His heavy body draped over mine, taking the pressure off our bound wrists and trapping Senovo’s hand between us.
“It is done,” said the priest, both sadness and resolve audible in his voice. A new wave of guilt swept over me as I realized that this had been Senovo’s first handfasting ceremony as High Priest, and, thanks to me, it was a fraudulent joke from start to finish. When he laid his hand on first my head, and then Andoc’s in a heartfelt blessing for our happiness, it somehow made things even worse.
Andoc roused himself enough to untangle us and get us into a more comfortable position on the low block of stone. I made a surreptitious move to wipe the back of my free hand across my eyes.
“All right?” he asked, studying my face. I gazed into his deep-set brown eyes, searching for a reason why he would continue to risk himself and break rules for someone like me, but all I saw was concern mirrored back at me. I nodded, feeling a sudden wave of utter exhaustion sweep over me.
“Tired,” I said.
“If you have both recovered sufficiently, I will take you to your room,” Senovo offered, his mask firmly back in place.
Andoc was slightly unsteady as he rose, urging me up with him, and we braced each other as Senovo gathered up the hide—covered with Andoc’s spilled seed rather than my virgin blood. Without once looking down at the soft brown leather folded neatly in his hands—or the substance staining it—he led us slowly down the hallway to the same room where we had spent the previous two nights. Now, though, it was filled with platters of fresh food cut into pieces that would be easy to eat one-handed, along with pitchers of wine and mead, clusters of lit candles, and clean blankets and pillows on the large bed.
“Rest,” said the priest. “I will inform the Chief that everything in the ceremony went as it should, and return to check on you this evening.”
Senovo left before either of us could offer any gesture of thanks or affection. I was so tired that it took several long moments before the sense of his words percolated through my mind.
“Everything ‘went as it should’...” I echoed, collapsing onto the edge of the bed.
“As I feared, he’s far too intelligent to fall for such a transparent ruse,” Andoc said. “Still, our dear and devious Senovo has a bright future ahead of him as High Priest. I don’t think Volya stands a chance in this particular battle of wits.”
“He’s upset, though,” I said quietly as Andoc sat down next to me on the bed. “Even if he hides it, lying to the gods doesn’t sit well with him.”
Silence reigned for a long moment.
“Come on,” Andoc said in lieu of a reply, “rest with me awhile. You’re knackered, and I usually fall asleep after sex anyway. I’ll even refrain from asking if you ate before the ceremony like Senovo told you to.”
“Just as well,” I muttered under my breath, as we clumsily rearranged ourselves around our bound hands and curled together on the thick, straw-stuffed mattress.
“As I suspected,” Andoc said, sounding resigned. “Sleep first, then food.”
I hummed agreement, already drifting off despite the drama of the last hour. Andoc cuddled me closer, our joined hands resting on his hard-muscled stomach as I slipped into a deep sleep.
* * *
When I awoke, it was dark outside the small window.
“Thank the gods,” Andoc said. “I’m about to burst if I don’t get to the chamber pot.”
“You are such a romantic,” I grumbled, right before I became aware that I was in roughly the same predicament.
The next few minutes fluctuated somewhere between awkward and amusing, and I began to understand what the Ancestors were getting at when it came to this part of the handfasting ceremony. It was eye-opening to have to rely on someone else’s assistance for things that I normally did without thought.
Andoc and I washed up a bit, cleaning the oil and dried spend from my legs before we descended into childish attempts to flick water on each others’ faces. When a knock came on the door a few minutes later, we were curled up on the bed with platters of food, while I alternated feeding myself and Andoc, much to his apparent amusement.
“Come in!” he called, and the door opened to admit Senovo, carrying a small, wrapped parcel in one hand.
“Oh good,” said the priest. “I wasn’t honestly sure what I’d find when I returned.”
A few hours of sound sleep had done wonders for my mood, and I tossed a piece of spiced ground tuber at Senovo’s chest good-naturedly. He ignored it beyond the raised eyebrow he shot in my direction, and placed the mysterious package on the corner of the table.
“Join us, amadi,” Andoc said, his voice warm and deep enough to send a pleasant shiver up my spine. “Things aren’t complete without you here.”
“No,” I agreed. “It’s much harder to keep from smacking him when you’re not around.”
“In that case, my congratulations on your self-control,” Senovo replied. I was pleased to see a twinkle of amusement in his eyes, though he seemed unremittingly weary these days. He came to Andoc’s outstretched hand and allowed himself to be guided down for a kiss, first from Andoc and then from me.
When he pulled back, I noticed something and frowned, lifting my free hand to trace the thin skin under his left eye with a light touch.
“What is it?” asked the priest, his brow furrowing slightly.
A faint blush heated my cheeks. “Sorry,” I apologized, “it’s nothing. I just noticed that you’ve removed your kohl, is all.”
He still looked faintly confused when he answered. “I... only wear it for ceremonies, Carivel.”
Andoc laughed softly, his eyes catching mine. “He honestly has no idea.”
“I honestly don’t,” Senovo agreed, his look of confusion growing deeper. “Perhaps someone would care to enlighten me?”
“Whenever you line your eyes with kohl, Carivel stares at you like she wants to devour you whole, you fool,” Andoc said, amusement coloring his tone. “She has for years now.”
Senovo blinked, his face going blank. “Oh,” he said. “I... see. A moment, then. Excuse me...”
He left the room, and I fought a losing battle not to collapse into undignified giggles. When I flopped back, spent, I shook my head in amazement. “He really doesn’t get it at all, does he?”
“Nope,” Andoc said. “Perhaps you’ll have better luck getting through to him than I’ve had over the years.”
“Maybe it’s a two-person job,” I countered.
“I suppose it might be, at that.”
When Senovo returned a few minutes later, his striking amber-green eyes were once again lined with black, ending with a stylized curl at the corners. He wore a sleeveless jerkin of gray animal fur over tan breeches and soft boots. I let out a soft gasp, leaning forward for a better look at the sleek, newly exposed lines of his body, even as Andoc gave a low rumble of approval beside me. His cock twitched against my hip.
“Better?” Senovo asked, a faintly tentative note in his voice.
“In three-and-a-bit years, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in clothing other than priests’ robes,” I said, still drinking in the sight. “I wasn’t even aware that you owned other clothing...”
“The jerkin is Andoc’s,” Senovo said, causing hot desire to flood my belly at the thought. He paused for a beat before adding, “It seemed appropriate. I am not here right now in my capacity as priest. At least, not unless you wish me to be.” The last sentence was hesitant... almost shy, and my heart melted anew.
“We just want you, amadi,” Andoc said. “Whether you are a priest or a flea-bitten wolf or the scared and angry kid you were when you and I first met. Just be you.”
“I want to know every part of you that you’re willing to show me,” I added. “You’ve given me so much already, Senovo.”
Senovo looked away, as if he could not quite meet our eyes after such declarations. When he looked back up, faint color tinged his cheeks in the candlelight. “Well, I have one more thing to give you tonight. Or, I suppose, three things, to be more accurate.”
He crossed to the table and picked up the package he’d brought earlier, handing it to me. Andoc’s blatant curiosity made it obvious that he was none the wiser regarding the contents. “Open it,” he urged, giving me a nudge.