Chapter Nine

Kenzie

 

It was moments like these where I wished I had a girlfriend to confide in. Tanner Johnson kissed me. He’d kissed the hell out of me eight hours ago and my body hadn’t stopped humming. Never in my life had anyone been able to completely disarm me to the point I forgot where I was, who I was or why it was happening. It didn’t matter. I felt like one of the heroines in a romantic comedy, like the birds would start chirping in sync and rainbows would cover the sky.

Okay, that was a bit stupid, but it was the most passion I’d ever experienced and I’d never forget it. The way his soft lips pressed against mine, his strong hands gripping my chin like he never wanted to let go, and the way our tongues fought for control…that kiss destroyed me and I wasn’t mad about it one bit.

My phone flashed the time at me. Nine a.m. I never slept in and a dull throb began in the back of my head when I sat up. I clutched my neck, groaning, and made my way to the bathroom. My first hangover.

I would’ve laughed if it hadn’t caused the pain to increase, and I twisted the knob and gasped. Someone was already in there, and it wasn’t Tanner. “Uh, hi?”

A thin girl wearing an oversized baseball shirt—presumably Tanner’s—sat on the toilet and gave me a shy smile. Her makeup was crusted around her eyes, her long hair hanging in every direction, and her lips…swollen, as though she’d spent all night in his bed.

“I’m almost done. I’ll hurry,” she said, her mouth twisting into what I assumed was a smile. I should have responded, told her not to worry or something, but words became difficult.

He kissed me, but spent the night with her. Goodbye, birds and rainbows.

“Take your time,” I said after an awkward thirty seconds of quiet. I backed out, shut the door, fell onto my bed face first and laughed. It made sense. Nothing was off brand to who Tanner was.

He had been nothing but helpful the two weeks I’d been here and maybe we’d had enough to drink where he thought he was doing me a favor so I could check it off my list.

Great. I got a pity kiss? I’d rather lick the bathroom floor than get a pity smooch. I rubbed my palms over my eyes, hating the shame and knowledge that our kiss didn’t matter. I didn’t regret it. Hell, life was too short to settle for mediocrity, whether it was with food, experiences or kissing. But I regretted the blissful feeling I’d had, thinking about him the second I woke up. Maybe I was a naïve, stupid girl who didn’t know what college was like, hook-ups without feelings.

“Ugh.” I covered my face with a pillow, the sadness of not having someone to talk about this hitting me a second time. I could talk to Aaron, who would punch him, or Greta, who would just end up telling my brother. That left…nada. Okay, enough.

I’d survived my dad fighting cancer. I would not let one single kiss fuck me up. I rose from the bed with a new resolve—nothing had changed between us. I’d try my damn hardest to act cool about it and not let him know a single thought. It worked on everyone back home—why wouldn’t it be the same now?

A shower could do magic. Those three walls and shitty curtain somehow transformed my moment of self-doubt into a ten-minute, scalding-hot think session, where I found my inner badass. Dressed in shorts that flirted with an appropriate length and a black plaid shirt that hung off my shoulder, I left the privacy of my room and walked out to face what came next.

I hadn’t expected to gag at the smell of leftover beer, sickly perfume and vomit. Covering my face with my sleeve, I tiptoed over trash and made my way downstairs. Aaron was already up and eating a bowl of cereal, sitting outside on the two-person swing, looking all sorts of grumpy. I got a bowl for myself and joined him. “Morning, bro.”

He gave me a half-smile and scooted over so I could sit. “How you feeling, champ?”

“The shower helped. Plus, I switched to water for about an hour in the middle. I’m not a total newbie.” I swallowed a spoonful of Lucky Charms and nudged his shoulder with mine. “Are you hungover?”

“More than I’d like to be. I don’t drink more than a couple beers when I party. It’s not worth it, but Greta was here and kept telling me it was fine… I don’t get it.”

I frowned, unsure what he meant. I was about to ask him, but he continued. “I loved parties my freshman year. They were my reason for existing and I lived for each weekend where I could lose myself. The anticipation of hooking—er, sorry. I meant—”

“I know what you meant, idiot. It’s fine.”

“I lost that excitement,” he said, his voice quiet. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, I think I did.” I took another couple of spoonfuls and let the meaning of his words sink in. “There was a moment, though. I was alone, watching the party like an outsider, and it was weird. You can be in a house of people but feel…lonely.”

“What you said. That’s it. That’s why I was, you know, crazy for a couple of years. I needed to escape that lonely feeling more than breathing. I don’t get it much anymore. My teammates and Greta help me with that, but I worry about you.”

I sighed, hating the sadness in his voice but loving his honesty. This was a good step, for us to chat openly about how we dealt with the prospect of losing our father. “I’m learning how to escape that feeling. I make stupid lists, watch TV shows and spend a lot of time reading. Your friends are more like family and I want that, too.”

“You’ll find your people.”

We shared a smile just as Zade walked out, wearing blue plaid pants and that was it. He held up a hand, high-fiving me. “Morning, champ. Hope you’re hungry. Once TJ gets up, these bitches are taking us out to eat.”

“It might be a while. Someone had a guest last night,” I said, praying my voice remained even. Neither one of them gave me an odd look to suggest otherwise. “Is your house always this gross after a party?”

“Yup. Every time,” Zade replied and leaned against the railing. “Our MO is food, then cleaning.”

I finished my food when the girl I’d found in the bathroom opened the door to leave. She glanced at all three of us, her face turning bright red, then mumbled a goodbye before clutching her bag to her chest and running off. “Are you—do you guys drive the ladies home?”

“Ambar lives like five houses down,” Aaron said, his mouth hardening as he watched her retreating form. “She was drunk last night. More than I’ve seen her.”

“I know,” Zade groaned, running his hands over his eyes. “I was too, shit. I need bacon to help this headache.”

Aaron stood and walked back inside. “I’ll change and wake TJ’s ass up. We should be ready in five.”

“Sounds good. I’ll do the same.” Zade joined Aaron inside and hollered for TJ to hurry up, which left me outside.

Who’s Ambar? If she was drunk, Tanner wouldn’t sleep with her. What if he kissed her though? Or they did this morning? She was wearing his shirt…

It doesn’t matter. Nope. I finished the rest of the cereal and set the bowl in the sink. Then Tanner stepped outside, looking all sorts of tempting in an old pair of jeans and a freshly cleaned baseball tee. The air crackled between us in the morning haze. My breath caught in my throat and even the player appeared lost.

“Morning, TJ,” I managed to say in an even voice. “You look ready for the day.”

“How are you?” he asked, moving a couple of steps toward me so he was up in my face. It was hard not to stare at the stubble lining his jaw, the curve of his lips that I knew tasted like forbidden lust or the way those dark brown eyes clouded with uncertainty.

“Experiencing my first real hangover.” I gave a weak smile, which he returned, and I ran my free hand through my hair. I’d left it down, the wild curls going in every direction, and made my move to get us back to normal. “I’m real glad you and Aaron owe us breakfast. This cereal did not do the trick.”

“They say greasy food helps.”

“You feel fine, don’t you?” I pointed my finger at him, annoyed at his grin. Only he could be cocky about not being hungover. “Jerk.”

“I didn’t drink much. I wanted to make sure you had a good time.”

Uh oh. My stomach did that swoopy thing again, but I shut down the thoughts that would surely follow. I swore his eyes heated when his gaze moved to my lips, but I was sure I’d imagined it. “I had a great time.”

“Good.”

Cool, we sounded like junior high kids trying to flirt. He was working on saying something, with the way he kept clearing his throat and glancing back at the kitchen and my face, but he didn’t get the chance. Zade, Aaron and Greta burst through the door. “Let’s go, assholes. If I’m buying breakfast, I don’t want to wait any longer,” Aaron barked.

That was our cue. I followed them to my brother’s car and jumped into the back seat—Greta called shotgun so that meant I got the bitch seat between two large athletes, Zade to my left, Tanner my right. Their thighs touched mine, their body heat traveling straight up to my core, making me sweat.

Greta rambled on about something, making everyone laugh, but I couldn’t focus. Tanner adjusted his position so his arm went around the back of the headrest behind me. That put his incredibly strong biceps centimeters from my face. I gulped. I swore he heard me, because he brought his fingers to my ear and ran them down my neck. What the fuck?

The car fell silent, and I feared that everyone knew about the kiss Tanner and I had shared. They knew and were going to laugh. But Tanner let out a deep chuckle that sent a warmth through my body, from my head to my toes. “I think Kenny is more hungover than she thought. She’s not able to speak and looks a little sweaty.”

“Girl, I tell your brother all the time, cereal is not the move the morning after.” Greta spun around in the front seat with a pitying glance. “Hold tight. We’ll be there soon.”

Zade patted my arm and handed me a piece of gum. “This will help.”

How cute. They all thought my struggle was from drinking too much. I snuck a glance at Tanner and regretted it. He damn well knew I wasn’t hungover like they assumed. His eyes danced with humor, his lips were pursed and he had a ridiculous, smug expression that lit me up. Okay, asshole. Game on.

“Yeah, can we roll the windows down?” I made my voice shake and leaned all the way over Tanner, my entire upper body pressed against his. He turned into a fucking brick, unmoving and stiff. I wiggled against him, moving my hand to his chest so I could balance myself. Mistake, abort mission. His toned pecs tightened against my hand and my instinct was to lick him. Not the right move. Get back in the game, Kenzie. I collected myself and said, “I might—I could get sick.”

“Fuck, come on, Kenzie. Don’t do this in my car,” Aaron said, more annoyed than concerned. He sped the car and rolled the window all the way down so the fresh air hit my face. I turned just enough for Tanner to make eye contact, and I winked.

His reaction was priceless. He tightened his jaw to the point I swore his teeth ground and he tightened his grip on me. We spoke unsaid dares with our eyes, his glowing with the challenge. It went on like that for a full minute before Aaron veered into a parking lot and stopped without warning. “Get out!”

I crawled over Tanner, making sure to touch him as much as I could, before opening the door and putting my hands on my knees. “Go ahead and get a table. I’ll be inside in a bit.”

Aaron patted my head once before following my order, but my plan backfired. Tanner put one of his large hands on my back and rubbed. “I supplied her with the beer. I’ll make sure she’s okay and come in with her.”

“Thanks, man,” my brother said, completely unaware of the sick game we’d started in the car. No, it started last night when he kissed me.

That left Tanner and me alone, in the parking lot of a rundown diner everyone insisted was the best place in our college town for hash browns. The bell of the door echoed as Zade slipped inside and it was then I stood, a smile on my face. “How noble of you, to make sure I’m okay when you damn well know I’m fine.”

“My thoughts aren’t noble right now, Kenzie. Trust me.” He moved his hands from my back to my neck, taking his time caressing me there before tilting my chin up to him. I thought he might kiss me again and I admit I wanted him to. Ambar chick or not, his kisses could change the world. A wave of disappointment crashed through me when he used his lips for words instead. “We need to talk about that kiss.”