Eight days later, the insurance adjuster had finally made it out to what was left of The Sequel. Luke wasn’t saying much about what he’d heard about the investigation from his friends at the fire department, but I knew it was looking like someone had set fire to my store intentionally. I couldn’t think of anyone who’d hold a grudge against me enough to try to kill me, something they’d clearly been hoping would be the outcome. Needless to say, Luke was being more protective than normal, and that was saying a lot. I honestly didn’t mind one bit though.
It had taken five washes and a ton of fabric softener to get the scent of smoke out of my clothes, but at least it had finally come out. All of the furniture would have to be replaced, something the insurance adjuster would hopefully deal with. Everything inside of the store was ruined. If the fire didn’t get it, the water did. All in all, it could’ve been so much worse. I was alive. I just had to pull myself from the ashes again.
“You hangin’ in there?”
I look up at Luke, falling into his side when he offers his arm. “Yeah. Just sad to see it like this. Who would do this, Luke?”
“Don’t know, sweetheart. Could be some dumb kid for all we know. They’ll get it sorted, just have to trust the boys leadin’ the investigation. You’re safe and that’s all that matters.”
“It could’ve been worse,” I agree, saying my earlier thoughts out loud for the first time, still looking on as the insurance man pokes around the bottom level of my building.
Luke shivers and I look up at him. “You’re still breathin’, so yeah, it coulda been a whole helluva lot worse.”
“It’s gonna take a while to rebuild, Luke. I don’t want to keep imposing on you and Lucy.”
“It’s not imposin’, Carrie, and you know it. Family isn’t a burden. You’ll stay until things are back up and runnin’ here and not a minute earlier.”
I nod but plan on finding a way to get out of their house before that. I know he doesn’t see things my way, but all I’ve been is dependent on someone else my whole life until opening up The Sequel. I don’t want to fall back on that just because I’m now homeless. I already talked to Sheila at the motel in Law Bone and she’s worked out a deal to help me with a long-term-rent-type situation at the motel. I would’ve preferred to stay in Wire Creek, but we don’t have a motel, so that was out. Pine Oak was definitely not an option. So, Law Bone it is. I’ll find a way to break it to the Hazel duo in a few days.
“I’m goin’ to head back to your house, if you don’t mind stickin’ around with this guy. It just . . . it’s just seein’ it like this. You know?”
Luke gives me a small, sad smile and nods. “Yeah. I’ll be back to pick you up when he’s finished and we can head over to Hazel’s together.”
After letting Dan, the older man checking things out, know that I’m leaving and that Luke is there for any questions he might have, I head back to Luke and Lucy’s place to get a nap before heading over to Hazel’s for the night.
Whether out of pity or a general need for someone, Luke asked me to work at Hazel’s until things are back up and running at The Sequel. Since all he wanted me to do was act as his office manager of sorts, handling all the paperwork and orders he hates dealing with, I said yes. To be honest, it was something I jumped at in order to keep my mind occupied, more than anything. I’m good with numbers—actually, damn good with numbers—so handling his books was something I could do in my sleep. It didn’t hurt that, when I finished work for the night, I could get a drink while waiting for Luke to close up.
Lucy was only helping me out at the store on her off days at the hospital where she was a full-time registered nurse, so she isn’t out of a job, thank God. However, now that I was working weird hours with Luke and sleeping during the day, I felt like I hadn’t seen my best friend in weeks, not days.
I haven’t been asleep for long when Luke gets back and lets me know it’s time to head to Hazel’s. I change out of my wrinkled sleep shirt and into some short shorts, a Hazel’s tank top, and a new pair of sandals. The scent of the fire was too heavy on the old boots I’d normally wear and I had to toss them. Just another thing that was taken from me.
“You sure you’re good to handle payroll?”
I smile at Luke as he drives. “Yeah, Luke. It’s like asking if a genius can handle a color-by-numbers sheet.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Sometimes I forget there’s a feisty little smart-ass in that tiny body of yours, Carrie girl.”
“Lukie Dukie, I’m just a big bag of mystery, you know.”
He laughs under his breath, the radio playing some current pop country song. I look through the darkness and let my thoughts wander to my plans. I should’ve known Luke saw right through me earlier, though, and the second I start thinking about how I’m going to tell him and Lucy about leaving, he opens his mouth and I groan inwardly.
“I know you talked to Sheila about stayin’ at the motel.”
“I wasn’t goin’ to keep it from y’all,” I tell him immediately.
“I know you weren’t.”
“I just didn’t know how to tell y’all.”
He clicks his tongue. “You could have just said it, sweetheart. Even though I meant what I said earlier, I understand your need to exercise your independence. You’ve come a long way this year and you deserve what you need to be happy.”
“I need to prove to myself that I can keep survivin’ on my own, Luke,” I tell him, honestly. After all, that’s the root of it.
“I know you do. If what you want is to stay in Sheila’s motel until you rebuild, at least you’ll be close to Hazel’s and I can still make sure you’re okay. I might not like it, and Luce is damn sure not gonna like it, but I understand where you’re comin’ from.”
I twist the straps of my purse and mull over my words. “Can I . . . do you . . . will you still want me to work at the bar?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him turn my way, but I keep twisting the leather strap in my hand, not wanting to see his face if there’s disappointment written on it. I almost jump out of my skin when his hand covers mine.
“Don’t ask stupid questions, Carrie,” he drawls in a gruff tone. “You’ve got a job at Hazel’s for as long as you want it. You know I hate that numbers shit, and you add a little brightness to that place. Family, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, a lump forming in my throat.
“Yeah,” he parrots, pulling into the parking lot of the bar and shutting his truck off.
I climb out of the cab, even though I know it drives him nuts when I don’t wait for him to open my door, and follow him around the back to enter through the employee doorway. He’d normally just walk in the front, but since this is the easiest way for him to dump me in the office, I know he only does it so he can fool himself into thinking I don’t see just how crazy things get here at night.
“Let me know if you need anything. Just shoot me a text and I’ll come sort you out.”
“Yes, Dad,” I say sarcastically with a roll of my eyes.
A few hours later, I feel like I’m about to find out what it’s like to have my eyes permanently crossed. Luke Hazel is a shit bookkeeper. Reading his handwriting was almost traumatic, but I finally sorted out his payroll and wrote the checks for all sixteen employees so he could come sign them later tonight. Having had enough of his office’s four walls, I open the door and step into the smoke-filled air. My eyes roam around the room while I stand there and enjoy the music. It was so muffled by his office’s heavy door that I could hardly hear it in there. I’m on my second glance around the room when I see him.
My dark cowboy.
I take a step forward before I realize what I’m doing, stopping instantly.
No way. As much as I want to, and boy do I want to, I know I’d be testing fate by giving in to another night with him, and I think fate has proven to be against me lately. I blindly reach for the knob behind me at the same time I see his back straighten and his head turn my way. I gasp when I feel his eyes on me. I could walk over there and offer him my body again, but instead I turn and rush back into Luke’s office.
There’s no place in my life for a man like my dark cowboy, as much as I wish otherwise. I’d love nothing more than to get lost in the feelings I know he can drown me in, but my life is crazy enough without adding more insanity to it.
Maybe another time—another place—but not now.
Not when everything feels so out of control.
This must be what it feels like to miss something so deeply you crave it . . . even if you never really had it to begin with.