The heavy weight against my hand is the first thing I notice.
The warmth from that weight, the second.
With the cobwebs in my mind, though, it’s hard to register much of anything else.
Slowly, the rest of my body starts to connect back with my groggy mind, the weight on my hand forgotten when the burning sensation in my leg comes into focus. I groan and try to open my eyes.
“Linney,” I hear whispered, but the only thing I can focus on is the pain in my leg, which is getting more and more intense with each passing second. “Darlin’, please calm down.”
“Hurts,” I moan, my voice gravelly and thick, like I just woke up.
“God, baby.”
“Carrie, stop fightin’. You’re safe. Calm down before you hurt yourself more.”
At Luke’s words, my body stops moving. I hadn’t even realized I had been thrashing against the bed. My eyes are still not opening, but more around me registers now. I hear sniffles, some farther from me than others and some right next to me. I hear the beeping of machines and soft, pleading whispers at my side.
Clayton.
Knowing he needs me just as much as I need to see him is what helps me to push the cobwebs away and take control of my mind and body. It takes a couple minutes, but I finally pry my eyes open. I blink frantically as my pupils adjust to the dim light. Luke is standing at the end of my bed, his sister in his arms while she cries against his chest. I turn my head when I see movement to see Maverick in much the same position with Leighton, standing under the TV mounted in the corner. Next to them, Tate is standing behind Quinn, his arms around her shoulders as she wipes her eyes.
Then, when I look away from them, my handsome husband fills my vision.
His hair is wild, like he’s done nothing but run his hands through it. The stubble that had been on his jaw when we went to bed is even darker now. And his red, swollen eyes look like they’re glowing as he openly and silently cries. Tears spill over his lashes and fall down his face before landing against our joined hands resting next to my side. He doesn’t look away, doesn’t dry his tears. He just stares at me, breathing heavily, like he can’t believe I’m right in front of him.
“Hey,” I whisper.
His eyes shudder closed and he sucks in a jerky breath before dropping his forehead against my belly. He shakes his head as his strong shoulders hitch as he loses whatever control he’d been holding tightly to.
“Clayton,” I plead, my heart breaking over seeing my strong husband falling to bits in front of me. “Please, honey.”
He mumbles something against me, the words muffled. I look around the room, frantic to get help in easing his pain, but I see not one dry eye as they witness the strongest man we all know unable to keep himself together any longer.
“Cl-Clayton,” I wobble out, my chin quivering and my eyes filling with tears. “You’re breaking my heart.” My chest literally feels like someone is pulling my heart from my body with each second that passes.
His body shudders and I hear him suck in a breath. “I thought I lost you,” he admits, lifting his head and looking down at our hands. “I saw you there, blood everywhere, and knew if I lost you I’d be losin’ myself too.”
“I’m okay,” I gasp, needing him to stop. “I’m here.”
“There’s nothin’ for me on this earth without you by my side,” he continues. “She almost took you from me.”
I choke on a loud cry as it bursts from my throat. I gasp for air, but I can’t stop wailing. Through my tears, I see Clayton jump to his feet, and then his hands push under my shoulders as he pulls my upper body off the hospital bed and into his arms. I wrap my arms around him the best I can with the IV and cling to him, soaking his shirt while he drenches my gown, the early-morning events coming to a head as we hold each other.
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles against my neck after we both calm.
“For what?” I question, opening my eyes. The first person I focus on is Maverick. His jaw clenches and his eyes are just as wet as I imagine mine are.
“I should have done better at protecting you.”
I gasp, pull back, and stare up into his tortured eyes. “This is not your fault. No one, not even you, could have seen this comin’. You did protect me, honey. All I heard in my mind was your voice remindin’ me to fight. Your strength filled me up without you even bein’ there. I remembered you tellin’ me where you keep your firearms, and that gave me a chance. You might not have been there, but it was you nonetheless who protected and saved me.”
“It’s because of me you were in this situation to begin with, Caroline.”
I frown. “No, it was because of your crazy ex. Don’t you dare take this on, Clayton Davis.”
“Linney,” he breathes.
“Don’t you Linney me. We’re both victims here. And she does not get to win. Not now. Not ever.”
I see my words take root, the despair in his eyes lifting. His forehead comes to mine and he rocks against me, shaking his head. “I’m never gonna let you out of my sight.”
“I’m thinkin’ that’s not goin’ to be a hardship, honey.”
“I’ve never been more scared in my life. If she wasn’t already dead, I’d fuckin’ kill her myself.”
Knowing I’m the reason Jess is dead doesn’t even faze me. It was either her or me, and I’m not about to feel guilty that I battled for the beautiful life I’ve earned. Maybe one day I’ll feel differently, but I doubt it.
“Why am I here?”
He exhales, his eyes looking pained again. I hate that, but I know it’s unavoidable if I want to know what happened.
“When she . . .” He sucks in a deep breath. “When she shot you, the bullet lodged deep enough in your thigh that you lost a good bit of blood. They stitched you up, and the doctor assures me that, aside from the scar, you’ll have no lastin’ issues. But the bump on your head is what’s got you here for the night. When you passed out, you hit the edge of the toilet on your way down.”
“And the rest?”
“That’s it, darlin’. Stitches, fluids in your IV, and monitorin’ you overnight, and they assure me you’ll make a full recovery.”
I search his eyes, feeling my brows pull in. “What aren’t you tellin’ me?”
He searches my eyes before dropping his head and shaking it slowly. “John was part of this.”
My shoulders droop and the tension I felt in them drains away. “I know.”
“What do you mean you know?”
“Jess admitted it.” I look down at my lap. “I know he’s dead. And I know she did it too. I’m not upset he’s gone, but knowin’ that, in his way, he tried to stop her doesn’t exactly make me feel good that he died doin’ so.”
“And him? What did he say to you?”
Pulling my head back, I look into his face, confused by his question. “Pardon?”
“I forgot about it until I stood over his body and told Sheriff Holden that John approached you yesterday afternoon.”
“Oh, that,” I whisper, nodding. “I wasn’t keepin’ it from you, Clayton. Things were just, well . . . He was the last thing on my mind when I was gettin’ ready to marry you. I only had room for happiness and it slipped my mind.”
“I’m not mad, darlin’. I just want to know what he had to say. Piece this shit together the best I can.”
I search my mind, replaying everything I can remember. After what Jess said, some of John’s confusing words make more sense.
“He tried to stop her,” I finally say after the silence stretches on. “It didn’t make any sense when he came up to me in town, but after what she said about him, I get what he’d been tryin’ warn me about.”
“Explain that to me.”
I sigh and recount everything from when I was starting to cook, to when Jess broke the door, and every word she had to say before what happened in the office. I know it costs him to sit here and not react. The tic in his jaw muscle and the twitching of his left eye betray the calm he’s trying to project. Once I tell him everything, I take a gulp of air and lean back, instantly exhausted.
“I don’t give a shit that he thought he was protectin’ you. He should’ve gone straight to the fuckin’ cops when he realized what Jess was up to instead of helpin’ her with some misguided belief that he was doin’ it to keep you safe. There’s no fuckin’ gray line, Linney. You could have died tonight, regardless of what he tried to do leadin’ up to it. You could have been lost to me forever, and I’ll take your life over theirs any day.”
“I wasn’t justifyin’ his actions. I agree with you, but even though he failed, he tried.”
“And failed. All that matters is that he failed.”
I nod. “Our ugly isn’t goin’ to touch us anymore.”
He closes his eyes and his nostrils flare while he composes himself. “Nothin’ but good’s gonna touch us, darlin’.”
I nod, resting my head against the pillow with a yawn. Clayton leans over me and presses his mouth to my forehead. I blink up at him and smile. “A honeymoon might be a good idea now,” I slur, exhaustion pulling me under.
“Seein’ that we’re gonna be mighty busy in the next handful of months, I think you’re right.”
I hear some feminine giggles but give in to the tiredness and fall asleep, knowing that I’m safe, Clayton’s safe, and there isn’t anyone else out there who can hurt us.