Gemma enjoyed exploring the beautiful old house and helping Nell do various small jobs around the place. What a lot of work an old house made for its occupants!
When she and her father left Dennings, they stopped to buy some fish and chips on the way home, eating them quickly because they were cutting it fine for picking up Hope, then rushing out again.
Adam parked the car under the big overhead light in the visitors’ section of the parking area and got out to wait for Hope so that she could see him clearly and, he hoped, not be afraid.
Gemma joined him, leaning against the car, their breath making misty patches in the chilly, moonlit world. They turned as they heard footsteps coming down the metal stairs in the middle of the two-storey block of flats.
‘She looks even more nervous than you do,’ Gemma whispered.
‘Shh.’ Adam moved forward. ‘Hi, Hope. This is my daughter, Gemma.’
‘Pleased to meet you.’ She studied the young woman openly. ‘You look a lot like my Janey. They’ve both got your dark hair, Adam.’
When Gemma just made a soft sound, as if she didn’t quite know what to say to that, Adam covered for her with an innocuous remark and suggested they all get into the car.
‘Where to?’ he asked.
‘She lives at the upper end of Peppercorn Street,’ Hope said. ‘Do you know where that is?’
‘We ought to. We spent several hours there today.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. I was exploring the town and bumped into Angus Denning. We got talking, found we had a lot in common, and I stayed to help him put in a better security system. He’s setting up a sort of artists’ village in a group of houses he owns. The street’s called Saffron Lane.’
‘Yes. There was an article on it in the local newspaper. Everyone’s wondering what sort of people the artists will be. You can see the gardens of the big house from the back of where Janey lives and there’s a gate there to get into them. Miss Parfitt, who owns the house, is quite friendly with Angus and his wife, and Janey says they keep an eye on her because she’s quite elderly. She’s wonderful for her age, though.’
Another sign of what a small world it could be, Adam decided. What did they call it: seven degrees of separation? No, it was six degrees, he amended mentally. He liked the thought that you were only five acquaintances away from anyone on the planet, though he wasn’t quite sure whether that could really apply to everyone in the world.
He drove carefully through the centre of town, where some shops were still brightly lit, and turned into Peppercorn Street.
When they got near the top, Hope pointed. ‘That’s it, the three-storey house with the light on over the front door.’
So they parked the car and as they got out, he admitted to himself that he was still extremely nervous about the coming meeting. He wasn’t usually a worrier, but he wanted so much to make a good impression on his other daughter.
‘We’d better let you go in first, Hope,’ he said after he’d locked the car.
As they walked along the path to the front door, Gemma squeezed his hand and whispered, ‘It’ll be all right, Dad. Stop worrying.’
Her touch was comforting but he couldn’t relax, just couldn’t.
Janey had been peering out of the front room window without putting the light on, hoping she couldn’t be seen by the visitors. She wanted to catch a glimpse of her biological father before he came inside because she didn’t even have a photo of him.
As the visitors walked down the path the man turned to the young woman walking beside him, smiling as he said something. Wow! Her birth father was really good-looking. Janey felt surprised. Somehow she hadn’t expected that. Lovely warm smile too, she decided.
Would he ever smile at her like that?
‘They’re here!’ she called, hurrying into the hall as the doorbell sounded.
Winifred came out from the kitchen to give her a quick hug. ‘Chin up, dear. You wanted to find your real father and now you have.’
But did he truly want another daughter? Janey wondered as she went to open the front door. She wished Auntie Winifred was staying with her for this important meeting, but she’d refused, saying it wouldn’t be right for a stranger to intrude.
Janey’s mother was standing at the front of the trio. Next to her father was a young woman who had dark, slightly wavy hair very like her own. She was even wearing it in a similar style too, long and tied back.
‘Janey, these are Adam and Gemma,’ her mother said in a voice that wobbled slightly.
‘Nice to meet you. Oh, thank you! The flowers are lovely. Um, come in and let me take your coats. I’ve got a nice fire in my sitting room.’ She didn’t let herself babble on, but waited in silence to hang their coats on the hallstand then led the way into the nearby room. They didn’t say anything, either.
Millie was sitting in the playpen, fiddling with her plastic bricks. She was rosy from her bath and ready for bed, wearing her teddy bear pyjamas.
Janey’s mother picked up the child and that immediately put a loving smile on her face instead of the nervous look that sat there so often and seemed to take all the character from her.
‘Adam, this is your granddaughter, Millie. Our granddaughter, I mean.’
He flashed a quick smile at Janey and moved towards the child, speaking in a soothing tone and holding out a little soft toy.
As Millie smiled at him and took the toy, Janey turned to study her sister and found herself being given a thorough scrutiny at the same time. Naturally. Who wouldn’t be curious about an unexpected sibling?
Gemma spoke first. ‘Amazing, isn’t it, to have a sister you’ve never met?’
Janey relaxed a little because that wasn’t a hostile tone. ‘I’ve been wondering if we look at all alike. See?’ She pointed as she turned to study their reflections in the mirror over the fireplace. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think we look quite a bit alike, but you’re taller than me.’ Gemma looked across at her father, who was tickling his granddaughter and making her chuckle. ‘Can I hold Millie when those two have finished cooing over her?’
‘Of course. She’s a very friendly child. Oh!’
Adam was holding his hands out to Millie, inviting her to come to him. The little girl stared at him from the safety of her grandmother’s arms, right thumb in her mouth, then suddenly she pulled out her thumb and dropped the toy, holding out both arms to Adam, waggling them impatiently. He took her gently from Hope.
It wasn’t like Millie to go so quickly to a complete stranger. That was a good sign, surely, Janey thought.
‘She’s lovely,’ Gemma whispered. ‘I want lots of kids one day.’ She turned to see her sister struggling not to cry. ‘What’s the matter? What have I said?’
‘I’ve been worrying about tonight and how your – I mean our – father would react to an unmarried mother and her child. But look at him beaming at her and see how Millie’s taken to him.’ She swiped at her eyes. ‘I’m being stupid.’
‘That’s not a crime.’ Gemma put an arm round her and gave her a quick hug. ‘Dad’s all right. He gets on with everyone – well, he does with people who’re nice, not ratbags, so you don’t need to worry about him scorning you. I’ll take Millie off him in a minute, then you can have a word with him on your own. Though goodness knows what you’ll both say. This must be so awkward. How long have you known about Dad?’
‘I found out last year that my mother’s ex wasn’t my real father. And thank goodness for that!’
‘He sounds horrible.’
‘He is. Mum told me my real father had gone to live in Australia, so I wasn’t expecting to meet him. And then he contacted my mother.’
‘If you don’t mind me saying so, your mother looks very worn and weary.’
‘She is. I’m glad they put her ex in prison. If I had my way, they’d never let him out again, because she’s going to be terrified once he’s released. He’s the sort who always has to get his own back if he thinks someone’s got the better of him.’
‘I’m just beginning to realise how complicated life can be with families. Mine’s been pretty straightforward so far, because there were only us three most of the time, though my parents divorced a few years ago and that made things a bit difficult. I didn’t realise it, but my mother was keeping me away from Dad as much as she could and telling me lies about him not wanting to see me.’
‘Difficult for you, torn between the two of them.’
‘You’ve said it. Well, that’s over and done with now so I’m trying to get over it.’
‘Mum said you’re doing well at school.’
Gemma shrugged. ‘I’ve left school now and my results will come through soon.’
‘How do you think you went?’
‘Pretty good. My main worry is what I’m going to do next year. Maybe take a gap year before I go to uni, because Mum was encouraging me to study business and it’s not a deep interest of mine.’
‘I envy you that freedom of choice.’
‘It’s Dad’s suggestion that I find something I really want to do. And I’d better stop babbling on about myself or I’ll bore you to tears. You’re easier to talk to than I’d expected.’
‘So are you.’
‘Big relief?’
‘Yeah.’
They grinned at one another.
Adam turned towards them at that moment and smiled. Janey’s anxiety ratcheted down still further. She hadn’t been mistaken: he did have a really lovely smile.
Gemma moved forward towards him, arms outstretched. ‘My turn to hold my niece. You’re not hogging all the cuddles, Dad.’ She turned to Hope. ‘You’ll have to show me how best to hold her.’
Hope nodded as if she understood that this was an attempt to give Janey and her father time together.
Adam moved to join Janey and asked in a low voice, ‘Is there anywhere we can go to talk more privately?’
In spite of getting on well with Gemma, she had been feeling as if they were doing this first meeting under a microscope and was relieved by his request. ‘We could sit in my study upstairs. It’s not as warm up there, though.’
‘I don’t mind the cold.’
‘Just going upstairs to show Adam my study, Mum,’ she called across the room.
Hope smiled and made a shooing gesture. Gemma was murmuring to Millie and as Janey watched, her sister planted a big kiss on the child’s fat, rosy cheek.
It suddenly occurred to her that if anything happened to her, Millie would no longer be alone in the world. Oh, the relief! She hadn’t realised the burden of that responsibility until now.
They didn’t speak as they went upstairs, but as soon as she had closed the door of the study, Adam said in a voice thickened by emotion, ‘I’ve been worrying all day about what to say to you, Janey. Could I start by giving you a hug, please? Would you mind? We have such a lot of time to make up for.’
It was the last thing she’d expected and she felt tears well in her eyes. Her voice came out choked. ‘I’d like that.’ She walked into his outstretched arms, feeling as if everything around her had faded, as if for a few moments there were only the two of them in the whole universe.
They didn’t speak, but he held her in the same way Millie held her beloved teddy bear, close, heads touching. No one had held her like that since her granddad died.
When her father moved back slightly, she didn’t pull away but stood within his arms looking up at him. Not as far up as she’d expected. She was nearly as tall as him. To her surprise there were tears on his cheeks as well as hers. Without thinking she reached out to brush them away.
‘Men aren’t supposed to cry,’ he said in a husky voice. ‘But I have a lot of hugging to make up for. I never expected the joy of having another child.’
She gulped. Joy! he’d said. ‘I never expected to have a real father.’ She was shaking, couldn’t stop, so he kept his arm round her and guided her to the old, lumpy sofa. As he sat down beside her, he took her hand.
‘I want to be a real father from now on, Janey, if you’ll let me. But I don’t want to come between you and your mother. I think that will mean me spending some time in England.’
‘Can you do that? Don’t you have a job to go back to?’
‘Yes, I can stay here if I want. I’ve taken a year off for starters, then we’ll all work out what to do next. If I decide not to go back, I have dual nationality so I can stay and get a job. It’ll partly depend on what Gemma decides to do. If she goes to university here, it’ll be a no-brainer that I settle here for a few years at least.’
‘I like her.’
‘She’s easy to love. But I haven’t been able to spend as much time as I’d like with her during the past few years.’
‘She said her mother didn’t encourage much contact.’
‘To put it mildly. I won’t go into that, not now. As to my work, I didn’t really fit into academic life anyway, though it was a prestigious job and I learnt a lot. I prefer doing things rather than writing about them or giving lectures. And trying to get articles published in professional journals is a real bore.’
‘Has Gemma any idea what she wants to do?’
‘We did wonder if she might get a place in Oxford, or some other good university in England. It’d be good for her to get away. She and I both need to build a new life.’
It was out before Janey could stop herself. ‘I wish I had the choice of studying at university.’
‘You will have now, I’ll make sure of that.’
She looked at him in shock. ‘It’s too expensive, costs thousands of pounds each year.’
‘I’m not rich, but I’m not short of money, either. And you’ll more than pay me back by letting me spend time with you and your delightful daughter.’
‘Can it be so easy?’ she wondered aloud.
‘Nothing ever runs perfectly smoothly, and this won’t either, so don’t expect instant miracles. But if we all work at it, we can build close family ties, I’m sure.’
‘A family!’ It was little more than a whisper, but he heard what lay behind it and gave her another of his quick hugs, as if he understood how much that meant to her.
‘I have some other relatives in England still, though I don’t know them very well. We went over to see them and they were more welcoming than I deserve. I was only twenty when I went to Australia and I was selfish and self-centred in those days. I didn’t even try to keep in touch. I got my degree part-time there while I was working in IT in its infancy. No, not infancy, childhood. It was well beyond start-up point by then.’
He paused and gave her a very level look. ‘One day I hope you’ll trust me enough to tell me more about your life, warts and all. But if you don’t want to, that’s all right. I will, of course, help your mother in any way I can and I won’t try to separate you from her.’
‘She and I aren’t all that close, though we’re working on it. She let him trample all over me while I was growing up, as well as her, you see, especially after my grandfather died. She’d given up fighting and become a … a doormat.’
‘Ah. Well, I’ll try not to tread on any toes.’
‘I’m seeing her regularly, letting her get to know Millie. I think how it goes between us from now on will depend on how well she moves on from her past.’
‘Poor Hope.’
‘Has she changed a lot since you knew her?’
‘Sadly, yes. Out of sight. I’d not even have recognised her. She looks much older than I’d expected.’
They sat quietly, then he said, ‘We’d better join the others soon. Just let me ask one thing: are you all right for money?’
‘Yes. I get social security and I’m a good manager.’
‘Will you let me do something for you? After all, I paid hefty private school fees for Gemma for all those years.’
‘If you like, but I can’t think what, except for an occasional present for Millie.’
‘Hmm. Do you have a car?’
She looked at him in puzzlement. ‘No. Why?’
‘It’d be my pleasure to buy you one, just a second-hand one, but a decent, safe vehicle. When you next have some free time you can help me choose. And I’ll pay the annual running costs.’
It was a moment before she could recover from the shock. ‘I can’t let you do that!’
‘Of course you can. I’m your father. The car will be a … a belated declaration of that.’
‘Thank you.’
‘We’d better join the others now, Janey. We’ll talk together another time.’
She led the way out, knowing that what had been said on the surface was only a fraction of what had been offered behind those words. And oh, she was so hungry for a real family and for … well, love.
He stopped at the top of the stairs to say, ‘You seemed to be getting on well with Gemma. I’m glad about that. She’s as moody as any teenager, but behind it, she’s basically a happy soul. Some people seem to be born with a sunny nature.’
‘I’m still a teenager … technically,’ Janey said. ‘For another few months.’
‘You don’t seem like one. I should think you were forced to grow up in a hurry when you got pregnant.’
And to her amazement she got another quick hug from him. She’d never met anyone like him for hugging. It felt strange, but wonderful too.
She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have a man like him as a father. Not for a minute did she doubt that what he’d said and offered were genuine. It was written in his face that he was a decent man, and kindness shone out of him.
She reached out to prevent him from opening the door of her sitting room for a minute. ‘I’m glad you’re my father.’
‘I’m glad too. Perhaps you could call me “Dad” from now on?’
‘Dad. Yes, I’d like that very much.’
‘I won’t knowingly let you down, Janey. I can promise you that. But I’m no more perfect than the next person, so I’ll make mistakes. Just don’t let any of them come between us.’
‘I won’t … Dad. Same goes for me.’