Tend and Befriend

2000

Shelley E. Taylor (b. 1946)

The physiologist Walter Cannon proposed that the normal response to threats and tension was best characterized as fight or flight, while the endocrinologist Hans Selye warned that repeated exposure to danger led to Stress and eventually to a failure of adaptation, exhaustion, and possibly death. Both concepts have proven immensely useful in understanding human health and developing effective interventions. But neither of them speaks directly to the psychological experience of threat and stress.

In an article published in Psychological Review in 2000, social psychologist Shelley Taylor proposed the psychological concept of tend and befriend, which was based on many years of research into the psychological factors in women’s health. The model has proven useful in understanding both human and animal behavior in stressful and threatening situations. Tend and befriend proposes that a fundamental psychological response in such circumstances is to affiliate with each other and to offer help and nurturance. For example, when hurricanes destroy houses and threaten lives, humans typically respond by offering financial aid, shelter, and comfort to those affected.

A striking aspect of the tend-and-befriend theory is the proposal that such a response may be more typical of females than it is of males. Among rats, for example, it is female rats who huddle together for protection when intimidated; males do not. Taylor suggests that this is a result of evolutionary pressures related to the care and protection of offspring, who are the most vulnerable in times of threat. In many species it is the mother or another female who is most likely to attend to the needs of the offspring.

A biological component of this response can be found in the release of the hormone oxytocin in stressful situations. The beneficial effects of oxytocin are enhanced by estrogen. One known effect of oxytocin is to stimulate affiliative behaviors, and this has been demonstrated particularly in mothering. Research has shown that women are more likely than men to seek closeness with others during times of stress and to be more supportive during such periods.

SEE ALSO Stress (1950), Resilience (1973)

Two little girls huddle together at the seashore, 2003.