Chapter 20

 

Elora froze in horrified shock. She dropped her hand to her side and took an inadvertent step back as if she’d been struck. She tried not to, but she couldn’t help herself. She simply stared at the woman in front of her.

“Elora!” the woman cried. Both hands flew to her mouth, then she stretched them out beseechingly to the tall, handsome man at her side.

There was no mistaking that the elegantly dressed woman was her natural mother. Even though her mother had short, stylish auburn hair streaked with only a few highlighting strands of silver, Elora could see something of her own reflection in the older woman’s warm hazel eyes. Elora’s gaze connected with the dark blue gaze of the tall, distinguished gentleman at her mother’s side. He was simply an older, statelier version of Paul with solid silver hair and a matching moustache.

But she saw even more in both pairs of eyes. They knew. Paul’s parents knew who she was.

“Elora, my dear,” Arthur Barrington-Smith said. “This is indeed an honour to finally meet you at last.” He extended his right hand. His left arm continued to support his wife. Elora looked at his hand as if it might bite her. She could not bring herself to accept it.

Suddenly she became aware of Paul’s arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Lori,” he said. “It never occurred to me they would recognize you. I promise, your secret is safe with them.” He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

She shuddered. Paul had absolutely no idea what terrible secret lay festering here.

“I have to go,” Elora blurted out. She tried to shrug out of Paul’s comforting embrace.

“Lori,” he chided. “My parents are your fans, probably your biggest fans. You have nothing to fear from them.”

“You don’t understand.” Elora shook her head. She felt trapped. She needed air. She needed to get out.

“You’re right, Elora,” Arthur said. “Paul hasn’t an inkling of what’s going on here.” The older man looked calmly at her. “But you know, don’t you?” At her miserable nod he continued, “Let us all take a seat, before either one of these ladies falls flat on her face.”

He led the way to a comfortable, adjoining sitting room where he solicitously seated his wife on a settee. He settled down beside her and clasped her hands in his. Elora balked when Paul tried to lead her across to the facing couch.

“What is it?” he asked. “What’s the matter, Lori?” Paul looked at her. Elora knew she felt sick, and probably looked it. Eleanor, the woman she now knew to be her biological mother, appeared quite pale as well. “What the hell is going on here?” Paul glanced from her to his parents then back again.

“Elora is Eleanor’s daughter,” Arthur calmly informed him.

“What?” Paul gaped.

Paul stared so intently at her that Elora felt compelled to duck her head. Her left leg buckled, and she sank down onto the edge of the nearest chair.

“That’s impossible!” He ground out.

“Not only is it possible, but it’s true,” Arthur said. “Eleanor is the natural mother of both Elora and Elliot.”

“He’s dead,” Elora whispered. She finally raised her head and looked her mother in the eye. “He never even knew we were adopted.”

“I know.” Eleanor’s eyes were suspiciously bright. “Believe me, I wanted you to know, both of you. But your adoptive parents were so afraid of losing you.”

“We tried to assure them that we wouldn’t do anything to take you away,” Arthur explained. “But the name Barrington-Smith alone was enough to make them wary of us.”

Pieces fell into place at this announcement. Her parents’ mistrust of Nova Scotia’s most prominent family. The strange conversation Elora had overheard as a teen when her mother was apparently upset over learning that Elora had won a mysterious figure skating scholarship. Now she knew whom the anonymous benefactor had been. And then she remembered something else. The touching letter of condolence handwritten by Eleanor Barrington-Smith offering her personal services if and when Elora ever required anything from her. She had forgotten that letter until now.

Arthur studied her with kindly blue eyes. “We did what we could for you from afar.”

“You knew about me, about us, all these years?” Elora narrowed her eyes as she stared across at the stately gentleman.

“I have always known about you, my dear.” Arthur nodded his head. “Believe me, I would have been honoured to have raised you as my own, but by the time I learned of your existence you and your brother were already settled with a new family.” He smiled tenderly at his wife before returning his earnest gaze back to her. “We loved you too much to willingly hurt you by disrupting your young lives.”

Elora clasped her hands tightly together on her lap. She swallowed past a hot, hard lump in her throat. She couldn’t fault her mother, her adoptive mother, but if she’d only known two years ago that she belonged to another family. It would have been so much easier to have had their help in getting through her tragic loss.

“We never knew.” She swallowed hard. “I only learned we’d been adopted after they all died. Even then I never knew who you were.”

Eleanor and Arthur exchanged glances. “Then how did you know it was me?” her mother asked. “When we walked into the room just now, your eyes said you knew it all. We’ve been to every one of your performances, sometimes managing to get close enough to hand you flowers, yet all those times you never reacted like this. When did you find out?”

“Just now,” Paul answered for her. He perched himself on the arm of the overstuffed chair where Elora sat. Lightly he rested his hand on her shoulder. “That was the phone call you just made, wasn’t it? You only just learned your real mother’s identity a few moments ago.”

Elora could only nod.

Paul continued, “Lori hired a private investigator to try and locate her real mother. She wanted to belong to a family again, but she was afraid of further rejection knowing she’d been given up for adoption in the first place.” He squeezed her shoulders.

“I never rejected you, Elora.” Her mother covered her mouth with both hands, unshed tears sparkled in her eyes. In a low voice she added, “I was only a teenager at the time, with no support and no resources. Your father was scarcely any older than I, and he would have kept us all together if he could have, but he drowned in a fishing boat accident before you were born. Believe me, giving you and Elliot up was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life.”

Elora felt dizzy and out of control. She glanced up at Paul beside her. “I’m so sorry, Paul. I never knew any of this. You have to believe me.” In her agitation she jumped to her feet. The artificial leg stiff and unnatural as it propped her up.

“Don’t be sorry,” Paul said. “I admit it’s a bit of a surprise, but certainly not an unpleasant one.” He stood up beside her.

“Elora,” her mother said. “I understand your confusion. It’s just that I’ve dreamed of this day for so long, and now that it’s finally here I don’t want you to leave just yet.”

“I….” Elora looked from Eleanor to Arthur and back again. “I don’t know what to say.” Her arms trembled and she hugged them around her middle.

“Let’s have lunch,” her mother suggested. She looked calm and serene in her beautifully tailored, navy blue suit. She sat straight with her hands folded on her lap. Elora marvelled at her mother’s composure. “We’ll take our time to get acquainted.”

“Wonderful idea,” Arthur said. “We could order something to be brought up here, or, if you prefer, we could go someplace a little more public and a little less intimidating?”

“I can’t,” Elora said. At her mother’s crestfallen expression she elaborated, “I’m meeting Caitlin and my friends for lunch. Caitlin is Elliot’s three-year-old daughter. I want to explain things to her first before she meets you. Please understand. This is a bit much all at once. You’ve always known about me, but I only just now learned about you. I need to let it sink in a little first.”

“Of course, my dear.” Arthur climbed to his feet. He offered Eleanor a hand and she stood beside him. “You set the pace. Whatever you decide is best for you and Caitlin, we will abide by your decision. We only want what’s best for the two of you; I do hope you’ll believe that.” 

Elora saw compassion and understanding in his smile. She gave a small smile in response.

“Thank you,” she said. “I promise, I will be in touch. I just need a little time to come to terms with all of this.”

“I know,” her mother said. “Believe me, we understand. We’ll be here for you whenever you’re ready.”

Elora noticed how tightly Eleanor and Arthur clasped hands. She could tell that they were just as affected by this meeting as she was. Her mother’s seemingly calm composure was a façade, much like her own when she steeled herself for a performance. Elora drew a measure of peace from that small, yet significant fact. They cared. They really did care.

Paul escorted her out the door and down the hallway. At the bank of elevators he stopped. “I want you to know something, Lori. I have to admit I was rather stunned when I first learned the news, but I have to say I’m glad your search led you to us.”

“That’s nice of you to say, Paul.”

“I mean it, Lori.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. He looked intently into her face. “I enjoy working with you, you must know that. But it’s more than that. I’ve always felt a kind of connection to you, and now I know why. Although, I’m really glad we had the chance to get to know one another before we learned of our relationship. I think it may have been a bit harder to swallow in other circumstances.”

“I was afraid you’d be angry or ashamed or something when you found out.” She nibbled on her lower lip.

“Why should I be?” Paul asked, his voice clearly baffled.

“Well,” she hedged. “Finding out that your mother, my mother, I mean…” she couldn’t go on.

“It happened a long time ago,” Paul said. “Besides, neither of us knows the full story. And the fact that my father is so supportive is enough for me.” He hugged her briefly then dropped his hands. “I really am glad you’re my sister,” he said sincerely. “And I only hope Aidan takes to you like I have.”

“Aidan?” Elora had completely forgotten the fact that there were two brothers. She really didn’t want to meet the other one anytime soon.

“My younger brother. You never really know what he’s thinking. He’s a lot more aloof when it comes to expressing his feelings. If he gives you a hard time, let me know.”

“Why would he give me a hard time? I want nothing from him.”

“Aidan’s been hunted by women for so long who are only interested in him because of his family name and the wealth that goes along with that, that he may have this convoluted idea that you want to become part of our family for the money. To get your name put down for the inheritance.”

“That’s absurd.” Elora blinked. The last thing she wanted was anyone else’s money. She had more than enough of her own. Besides, what she did want money could never buy.

“We all know that, but he hasn’t met you, yet. Don’t worry. He’ll soon love you for who you are, just like everyone else does.”

“Not quite everyone else, it would seem.” Elora glanced away, unable to maintain eye contact with Paul, her newfound older brother. That was going to take some getting used to!

“Lori, you have to let this one-night-stand fellow go. If you don’t, he’ll only break your heart.”

“I know. You’re probably right.” She tried to smile at him. She couldn’t quite make her mouth obey her, so instead she shrugged. “I just wish things would have worked out a bit differently, that’s all.”

“Take some time off at the farm,” Paul said. “Take as much time as you need. You’ve been hit with a lot lately. You need some time for yourself.”

“But we’ve got all those tournaments to plan—”

“I can cope.”

Elora rested her hand on his arm. “I need to keep busy. I’m sure you understand.”

Paul nodded. “Unlucky in love, busy in work. That’s been my motto.” He let out a gusty sigh. “I just want to see you happy.” He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I miss seeing you smile.”

“I’m glad you’re my brother, Paul.”

He hugged her just as the elevator doors slid open. “So am I.”

Even though Paul’s words had given her a much needed boost of confidence, she still felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours. Elora stepped inside alone. Paul wanted to accompany her, but she desperately needed some time on her own to sort out her thoughts before she encountered Veronica. Ronnie knew about the private investigator’s call and would be ready to give her the third degree the moment she saw her. Elora needed to mentally prepare herself for the inquisition.

As for her own answers, a million questions swarmed around in her head. She felt as if she were trapped in a wildly careening layback spin, whirling out of control, with no focal point to anchor her in place.

Elora sauntered along the cobblestone walk winding through the heart of downtown Halifax. Her leg ached. She carefully picked her way along the uneven ground, wary of pitfalls, leery of taking a wrong step, and bewildered for the first time in a long time about what the future might hold.

Her heart cried out for Danny, despite Paul’s advice to let him go. If only she could find him and explain, then, and only then she believed her world might be restored to its proper balance.

But how could she possibly find him? She didn’t even know who he was.

 

* * * *

 

Dan exited his office building. Since talking with Lori about following one’s dreams, he’d actually followed through with her suggestion to quit. And it felt good.

Upon his return to Halifax early that morning, he’d fired off his resignation to Paul, who took it exactly as he’d expected – not well. Both his father and Paul had always loved their work, and neither one could understand that it held absolutely no appeal whatsoever for him. His family had not been impressed with his decision, and when pressed he hadn’t explained why. Perhaps, had he told them there was a woman involved in the background, they might have relented. But he felt it was none of their business. The only unfinished business he had was with Lori.

He paused. It was true. He needed to find Lori. He needed to set things to rights with her. He needed her. Without her in his life, his dreams wouldn’t amount to anything.

The entire drive home, all he could do was think about Lori. How perfect she was, and how much he missed her sunny disposition.

He shuddered with self-loathing at how cruel he’d been to her last night, lashing out at her as if she were the one who had caused the problems that plagued his life. No one was to blame for the path his life had taken, no one but himself. He was a jerk of the highest order. He knew now that Lori would never have been bothered by his family connections. All Lori had ever done was light the way forward onto a new and exciting trail; all she had ever suggested was that he follow his dreams. She had never put any pressure on him – ever. Never once had she pinned him with any great expectations. She only wanted him to be a part of her life.

And he had balked at the thought of a future with her.

How in God’s name was he going to convince her that he was sorry, truly sorry, and that he deserved to be given a second chance?

He dropped some coins into the parking meter in front of his car then thrust his hands into his pants pockets as he strolled along the streets of downtown Halifax. On principle he had chosen not to use his family’s reserved parking place. Just as, on principle, he never rode in a chauffeured car whenever he could help it. He had a few more errands to run in town before he could track her down in Lunenburg, and then he’d be off. And this time he would say all the right things that would keep her from running out on him.

He smelled the tantalizing scent of French fries from the various chip vendors parked along every street corner. His stomach rumbled in response to the mouth-watering aroma that wafted along on the fresh sea breeze. He hadn’t eaten since dinner last night with Lori. Seagulls mewed incessantly overhead, wheeling about in search of a free handout. Their cries merged with the ebb and flow of lively music as the street musicians vied with one another for the pedestrians’ attention and subsequent patronage.

With everything in him, he wished he were meeting Lori somewhere for one of their spontaneous meals. Only with her did he ever feel he could be himself. She eased his frustration. He just hoped, when he finally did catch up with her, that he wouldn’t be too late.

Up ahead, he spied a familiar child with tidy cinnamon-coloured braids hanging down her back. He stumbled to a stop. She was clapping her hands and squealing in delight at the antics of some kittens in a storefront window.

The breath caught in the back of his throat. A year ago Shane had died and had taken his heart with him. He remembered his and Lori’s argument last night. He grimaced at the recollection that there had been several arguments, but this particular one had been about children. Her position had been clear. But could he bring himself to care for another child? He wasn’t so sure if he could make that leap just yet.

Before Dan could make good his escape, Caitlin turned and saw him.

“Hi!” she shouted out happily. Caitlin bounded up to him. “I be'member you.” Her smile tugged at his heart. “You’re the prince who saved me.”

“Hi, Princess,” he said. “I hope you’ve been more careful riding on your tricycle.” Dan noticed Caitlin’s father joining them. Impulsively the men shook hands.

“Patrick Rivers.”

“Dan Smith.” Dan took an instant liking to the other man. If he lived in Lunenburg he and Patrick could conceivably become friends. He liked the notion. But what if Lori refused to have anything more to do with him? He quashed that notion. That was defeatist talk.

“He calls me a princess,” Caitlin announced for Patrick’s benefit. “I’m not really a princess, but my mommy is one for real.”

“That’s enough, Caitlin Anne. Let’s go and look for your mommy and see if Auntie Ronnie is finished at the hairdressers yet.”

“I wanna show him the kitties in the window first.” Caitlin grabbed Dan’s hand and tugged him back to the pet shop. Hardly stopping for breath she said, “Mommy’s gonna let me get a kitty of my very own. We’re gonna go to a farm and get one. Do you like kitties?”

Dan assured her that he did. He also assured Patrick that Caitlin’s prattle didn’t bother him in the least. He swallowed. He told himself that he was truly glad to see a child who was so vibrant and healthy. He crouched down to her level and spent a few minutes talking to her about the kittens.

Caitlin turned to face him, her freckled nose only a hairbreadth away. She giggled and threw her arms around his neck. Dan braced his knee against the wall to keep them from tumbling. Of their own volition his arms wrapped around the child, and he felt the fluttering of her lively heartbeat.

She kissed him on the cheek. “I yuv you.”

Dan tightened his hold on the child. He breathed in her fresh baby scent. He felt the shudder that wracked his body all the way down to his toes. It had been too long since he’d last held a child who loved so unconditionally.

Caitlin pushed herself away from him. She smiled. “You give the bestest hugs.”

He swallowed and nodded. He didn’t dare speak, at least, not yet. He released her and climbed to his feet. He patted her head. He cleared his throat. “I’ll be seeing you around, Princess.”

The realization only came to him afterward that the interlude with Caitlin hadn’t really hurt as much as he’d feared. He’d always miss his nephew, but the sharp, fresh ache of his death had passed. His eyes widened. He turned back to look at Caitlin. She was watching him. She waved. Dan waved back. Somehow, his heart felt lighter. The joyous child had taken the burden from him that had weighed him down for so long.

Further along, Dan became aware of a different scent mingling with the sharp tang of the sea and the salty spices of the chip vendors. Jasmine laced with sandalwood and touched with a hint of vanilla. The breath caught in his throat. He searched the throng, and there, standing only a few paces away, he spotted Lori, still wearing the flowing skirt and bright top of yesterday. A slow and steady smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She was here.

Everything was going to be all right with his world.

Before he could call out her name, another voice cried out and snagged her attention.

“Mommy!” Caitlin’s voice rent the air. “There you are!”

He watched as Lori turned in time to catch the flying bundle hurtling towards her. Then he watched as Patrick joined them and the three of them made a happy, laughing family unit.

The bottom fell out of his world.