CHAPTER 2

Watch the Boy of Iron

I won’t say who got to the kitchen first. But the winner stole the only free chair at the kitchen table.

“There’s nowhere for me to sit,” I said.

The other chairs were piled with Mom’s writing stuff — books, papers, pens, lots of coffee cups. She had another book deadline breathing down her neck. (When she wasn’t caring for dogs in real life, she wrote stories about them.)

Mom stared at her computer screen until finally noticing I was chairless.

“Come here, Alfie,” she said, clearing a chair and patting the seat.

I sat and grabbed a piece of buttered toast.

And that’s when I got a great idea: I’d butter her up! I didn’t waste a second. I tipped my head sideways and smiled, sweet as cheesecake. “You look very pretty this morning, Mother dear.”

Mom stared at me. Her hair stuck out in ten directions. Her eyes were red and tired-looking. Dark circles ringed them too. Honestly, she looked like a raccoon that needed a long vacation. And a hairbrush.

“What do you want, Alfie?” she asked.

“Can I play with Murphy first, please?” I begged. “Alfreeda hogged Herbie all day yesterday. It’s my turn to pick a favorite dog.”

Herbie was a teensy Yorkshire terrier. He stayed at our hotel a lot.

Alfreeda rolled her eyes. “You didn’t finish your chores yesterday, Alfie. I did, of course. That’s why I got Herbie all to myself. I’ll beat you at chores today too. So I get to play with Murphy in the play yard first.”

Mom shook her head. “Sorry,” she said. “Neither of you is going to play with Mighty Murphy today.”

Alfreeda choked on her juice. “What?”

“How come?” I asked.

“Remember when Murphy fence-fought with Cheesecake last summer?” Mom asked.

“Yeah,” I said. (Cheesecake is a cow at the farm next door.) “He kept sticking his nose through holes in the chain-link fence, trying to bite Cheesecake.”

“That gave him a cut on his nose,” Alfreeda said. “He almost broke the fence down too.”

“That’s right,” Mom said. “I hate to think what Murphy would’ve done to poor Cheesecake if he’d reached her. That’s why I said he could never stay here again. But his owner begged me. So I finally said Murphy could come for one night. On one condition.”

“What’s the condition?” I asked.

“That he stay in his pen the whole time,” Mom said. “Except for short bathroom breaks.”

“What?” Alfreeda cried. “He can only go outside for a couple of minutes?”

“Yes,” Mom said. “And he must be on a leash.”

“He’ll be crazy bored,” I said.

“Yeah,” Alfreeda said. “Come on, Mom. Let me take him on walks around the play yard. I’ll keep him on a leash and on the east side of the yard, away from Cheesecake.”

“Sorry, Alfreeda,” Mom said, shaking her head. “You’re not strong enough to handle that powerful dog.”

“That’s right,” I said. “But I am.”

Alfreeda burst out laughing. “Murphy would pull you flat on your face in a hot second.”

“He would not,” I said.

“Would too,” she said.

“Would totally not. And I’ll prove it. I’ll show you how strong I am. Watch this.”

I jumped off my chair and dragged it across the kitchen. I set it in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Then I stood on the chair and reached up high.

“I’ve practiced this in my room a couple of times,” I said. “Watch the boy of iron.”

Alfreeda covered her mouth with her hands. She started to make choking noises.

I stood on my toes and straightened my back. I reached up even higher. Finally, just barely, I touched the top of the door frame. (We’ve got tall doors in our big old farmhouse.)

I held tight with my fingertips — my left hand on the living room side, my right hand on the kitchen side. Then I pulled myself up.

My feet lifted off the chair, and my head touched the top of the door frame.

“See?” I said. “A pull-up! Yes, sir, that’s how strong I’ve gotten. Look how many I can do.”

Alfreeda slowly dropped her hands from her mouth.

“That’s right, sis,” I said. “Watch the master, and learn the true meaning of strength.”

Right in a row, I did three pull-ups. BAM! BAM! BAM!

“Woo-hoo!” I cried. “If anyone around here can handle a full-grown Rottie, it’s Alfie the Strong! Alfie the Alpha Guy!”

Alfreeda rolled her eyes. She hopped off her chair and marched over. “Move,” she ordered. “Let me try.”

“No. I’m not done,” I said.

I tried to do a fourth pull-up, but my arms started to shake like crazy. I dropped and totally missed the chair. I landed on the floor, right on my rear end.

Alfreeda leaped over me as if I were a Yorkshire terrier. She jumped onto the chair and reached for the top of the door frame.

“Watch this, everyone,” she said with a grin.

I couldn’t believe what my sister did next.