Give me a scooter, even a 50cc Bat-scooter, and I will lift up the world. Yes, because when you pass by the front of the school and Beatrice is there with her friends, there is nothing better. I don’t dare stop, because she could tell me in front of everybody that she doesn’t want to receive any more of my loser messages. So I only pass by with my hair flying in the wind from under my helmet, giving her a casual look, like an arrow from Cupid, which only she can receive. This is enough to give me an extraordinary jolt. Yes, because without this charge I would end up on porn sites and jack off. But then I would feel even more depressed and I need to call Silvia, and since I cannot tell her the truth, I have to talk about something else. But is there anyone I can speak to about this?
It’s a good thing that the glowing, red starlight turned around to look at me. She knows I am the author of the message, and with her look she confirms that my presence on earth is still here for a reason. I am saved!
This is why I am flying on my scooter along streets thronged with a million cars that seem not to be there. All the air of the world caresses my face, and I drink it in as someone drinks in freedom. I sing, “You are my first thought upon waking in the morning,” and when I really wake up, it’s already dark.
I wandered aimlessly through space on my flying carpet, without realizing the flow of time. When you are in love, time should not exist. However, my mother exists, and she is not in love with Beatrice, and she is furious because she didn’t know where I was or what I was doing. But what can I do? It’s love. The red moments in life are like this: without a watch. “So, can you tell me where your head is?” Adults do not remember what it is like to be in love. What sense does it make to explain something to someone who no longer knows what it is? What sense does it make to describe the color red to a blind man? My mother doesn’t understand, and furthermore, she wants me take Terminator out to pee.
Terminator is our old dachshund. He eats, drags himself on his belly for a yard and a half, and pees a million gallons. I take him to do his business only when I don’t feel like doing my homework, and in this way, I allow for a two-hour pissing time. With this excuse, I roam around, eyeing the shop windows and the girls. Who knows why men buy dogs. Maybe it’s to give a job to the Filipino girls, who then take the dogs to pee. The park is full of Filipinos and dogs. Since we don’t have a Filipino maid, I’m the one who gets stuck with the chore. Anyway, the animals are only film extras. Terminator knows how to pee, and that’s it: a dog’s life.
I am unable to fall asleep. I am in love, and when you are in love, the least that can happen to you is that you get no sleep. Even the darkest night becomes red. So many things crowd your head that you would like to think about them all at once and yet your heart won’t stay still. And then it’s strange, because everything appears to be beautiful. You lead the same life as always, doing the same boring things. Then, you fall in love and that same life becomes wonderful and different. You know that you live in the same world as Beatrice, and so what does it matter if the oral exam has gone badly, if the scooter’s tire has gone flat, if Terminator wants to pee, if it starts to rain and you don’t have an umbrella? You don’t care, because those things go away anyway. But love does not. Your red star is always shining. Beatrice is here, love is inside your heart and it is immense, it makes you dream and nobody can tear that away, because it is in a place that no one can reach. I don’t know how to describe it. I hope it never goes away.
With these thoughts, I have fallen asleep, thanks to this hope in my heart. As long as there is Beatrice, each day life is renewed. It is love that makes a life new. How true this is; I must remember it. I forget so many important things after I have discovered them. That is, I realize that in the future, they could be of use to me, but I forget them, like adults do. And this is the origin of at least half the evils of the world. In my time, these problems did not even exist. Precisely, in your time!
Maybe if I write down what I discover somewhere, I won’t forget, and I won’t make the same mistakes. I have a terrible memory. My parents’ fault: shoddy DNA. There is only one thing I won’t forget: tomorrow’s soccer tournament.
It’s not true. There is one other thing I won’t forget: Beatrice did not answer my message. I have no hope. Cover me in white, like a mummy.