I toss my phone onto the bed like it’s a hot stone burning my skin.
“I said yes,” I tell Cookie in a panic, and her eyebrows rise but she sure as hell doesn't ask why I’ve had this change of heart. My voice is higher than it should be, so she knows something is up, and I’m trying to play it off. “I don’t even know this guy. He could be a killer searching for someone to cut his magazines into pieces and make ransom notes to send to the police. Or you know, become his next victim.”
“That would be stupid of him. First he demands to sit next to you so that asshole will leave you alone. Then he gets your phone number—if he didn't want to see you he wouldn't have asked for it. I say he’s more than interested, and he might be letting you lead. Some men don’t want to be pushy. I mean, look at how he dealt with that prick on the plane.”
“Is it terrible that kind of turned me on?” I ask sheepishly.
“Nope. He could just be obsessed with you.” I stop pacing to look at her. “Not like, murder-you obsessed.” She rolls her eyes at me like I’m the crazy one. “I think this is the sexy kind where he can’t keep his hands off you and he’s always calling and texting.”
“Are you trying to scare me or reassure me?” I push the obsession thing to the back of my mind. That’s not going to happen because we’re opposite in every way. Especially when it comes to appearances. I’m not saying I’m ugly, I’m just not on his level. At this very moment I’m wearing a shirt that says Dr. Pepper on it and leggings with ripped-up shorts over them. I changed when I got back home because here I can be me.
I saw how the airline attendants looked at us as I was sitting there with him. They could tell by looking at us we were not really a couple, or maybe they were jealous he was staring at me. The man was attentive to my every need, and he hadn’t given anyone else a glance the whole time he was talking to me.
“You’ll be fine. I’m sure he’ll take you somewhere nice. If worse comes to worst, text me and I’ll pick you up after you sneak out of the back door to the place.”
“That’s really rude to just disappear on someone.” Or maybe I’m just projecting because that once happened to me with someone I met on a dating app. I deleted the app because I didn't need that shit in my life.
“Trust me, some of them deserve more than being skipped out on during dinner.” She rolls her eyes, and I hate that jerkface for making my sister throw in the towel on dating. She used to be the boy crazy one until Jarret stomped all over her heart.
Not that I have room to talk because my dating life is nonexistent. “Maybe we’ll become spinsters and have twenty cats,” I offer.
“You have no idea how much I want that dream to become a reality.” Cookie giggles and then sighs. We’ve always wanted a kitten, but Mom and Dad are allergic.
“You know you want the happily ever after and a house full of babies.” I nudge her shoulder.
“We can’t always get what we want.” Her words are filled with sadness, and my heart sinks for her.
Fuck Jarret. All the girls wanted him when we were in high school, but he went after Cookie and ripped her self-esteem apart in the process. All because of that fuckface Jarret she tries to hide herself. She tries to put on a good face, but I know better. The shit he said to her still burns deep inside, and no matter how men look at her now or try to engage, she shuts them down.
Jarret told the whole school he took her virginity, which is not only fucked up because it’s private, but also insane because it wasn’t true. He said he “popped her cherry,” telling everyone he made her bleed. I thought it was only fair that I made him bleed too. I glance down at my right index finger, and there's still a small scar there if I really look. I sucker punched him right in the face and was shocked I did it. It was out of character for me, but I guess when you mess with my family, my dark side comes out.
Of course no one ever found out about it because Jarret told people his sister opened the door and nailed him right in the face. He didn't want anyone knowing that a girl dropped his ass.
“What shall we wear for our date?” Cookie asks she goes over to my closet and looks through all my clothes.
“It’s not a date, it’s only dessert and coffee. I can’t skip family dinner—I’ve missed too many already being away.”
“Oh, I’m sure the two of you will work something out.” She winks at me and then hands me a red wrap dress that ties in the front.
I’ve never worn it before, but when I put it on and look in the mirror, all I can think about is how easily Miller could untie it. One tug would reveal everything under it.
“You’re a grown woman, Pumpkin. You can spend the night out.”
“But then I’d hear about it all day tomorrow.”
“Enough orgasms might make up for it.”
I snort a laugh, but she’s not wrong. Miller is the first man to make me feel true desire. What is so wrong with exploring that? He’s nothing like some of the men others have tried to set me up with. We work hard for everything we have, and we do it as a family, and I need to be with someone who understands that.
If Miller wants to see where this is going, then I want him to know that I’m just me, and I don't want to try to be something I’m not.