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Charles had never imagined that the reason why Millie had been to see Delilah was somehow linked to her wanting to know whether women could enjoy intercourse. In fact, he still could not fathom why she had gone, but a lot started to make sense about their intimate relations.
“My mother said that at best I wouldn’t feel anything and at worst it would hurt,” Millie said, looking at her dressing table and not him as she spoke.
“I’m so sorry that she said that to you,” Charles said and instinctively took her hand. He could feel Millie stir with surprise, and she looked at his hand holding hers as she went on.
“I didn’t know who else to ask but Delilah... I mean, she of all people would know, right?”
Charles could not help but snort with laughter. Yes, Delilah definitely knew whether a woman could be pleasured by man.
“I didn’t know you knew about Delilah,” was all he said though. Even though it was common for men of his rank to keep a mistress, it was not something they intended for their wives to know. At least he had not.
“Well...” Millie said. “I learned about two years ago... From Lady Clopton.”
Ah, that made sense. The lady was the biggest gossip in the ton and if she had somehow gotten wind of it, everyone would know. He surveyed Millie’s face. Was she angry? Upset?
“I’m sorry, Millie, I never intended for everyone to know,” he said, holding on to her hand a bit more firmly to make sure that she would not let go of his.
“I know,” Millie said. “I was... upset when I first learned about it.”
“And now?” Charles asked, trying to speak past the lump in his throat but his voice still came out unusually thick.
Millie looked pensively at their clasped hands.
“I don’t think it could have been any different,” she said. “Are you not angry with me for going to see her?”
“Well, no, but I still can’t fathom why the two of you were... kissing.”
Millie’s face was bright red now and it was clear that she did not dare look at him; her eyes darted around the room, without ever coming near his face.
“I have been talking to Delilah about... lust. Her hypothesis is that even though you could enjoy kissing any person who was skilled at it, there needed to be a certain... predisposition present in order for it to really... spark.”
Charles did not speak. Too dumbfounded by this information. There was too much to take in.
“Well, we of course had to test her... hypothesis,” Millie said, wringing the belt of her dressing gown in her hands.
“And?” Charles asked. The impatience making his voice sound harsher than he had intended.
“I liked it, but not as much...” Millie had looked at him as she said the first part, but then quickly looked away. Charles’s breath caught. As far as he knew he was the only other person that she had kissed. When they had been newlyweds, he would kiss her at length trying to ignite her passion, but although she had seemed to like his kisses, she had always wanted the coupling over with as fast as possible. Over the years their kissing had become more and more infrequent. But now was their chance. His chance to be with Millie. To show her how much she could enjoy it.
“Not as much as me?” he dared to ask.
Millie did not say anything but nodded. God, a predisposition she had called it. Could it be that she had a predisposition for him just as he did for her?
“Millie, it is supposed to be pleasurable when a man and a woman sleep together,” he said, wondering whether he should move to the bed and sit beside her. It had not escaped his notice that she was only wearing her dressing gown that she had worn this morning over her nightgown.
A fast tear rolled down her cheek; Millie quickly dried it away, but her voice was still shaky, when she said:
“I know that now.”
That did it. Charles moved to sit beside her on the bed and put his arm around her. She would not exactly cuddle up next to him, but it did seem that she leaned into him a little.
“Why didn’t you ever ask me?”
He could not believe that they had been married ten years, slept together countless times, yet it was not until Lady Winterbottom told her that she figured out a woman could enjoy sleeping with a man.
“How could I ask you?” Millie said and her voice was completely transformed by emotion now. She kept wiping tears away from her eyes. “We never talk about such things.”
Charles awkwardly stroked her shoulder. He didn’t know how to comfort her. What he had hoped could turn into them sleeping together had turned into him comforting her.
“No, I suppose not,” he only said.
“Anyway, Delilah helped me to have a much better understanding of... that. She said that from what I told her, you had done everything you could.”
Charles chuckled. He had. He really had. He had been so eager to please her that it never even occurred to him that... wait, even if she had thought it could not be pleasurable, it still didn’t account for her not responding to what he had done.
“But you didn’t like it?” he had to state.
“Oh, I did,” Millie said. “I was just afraid to show it.”
Charles looked at her profile. A tear lingered in the crook of her eye, and he gently brushed it away with his thumb. She turned to look at him and smiled a little as she shrugged.
“Why? Millie, have I ever given any reason for you to fear me?”
“Not... not fear you. But I so desperately wanted to please you. I thought that you might find me wanton and perverse for liking it...”
“I would have loved you to be wanton and perverse!” Charles could not help but exclaim.
They looked at each other for a pregnant moment before he lowered his head and kissed her. She opened her mouth for him instantly, and their tongues met. It sent a wave of heat through him. Not since their wedding night had they kissed this passionately. He made them slide down slightly in bed in order to be able to reach her better.
He quickly pulled the covers off her, running his hands over her body, pausing at her hips, and squeezing gently. She felt exactly as he had imagined.
“I love that you feel softer,” he said into her mouth, wanting to kiss her again, but she moved away a bit to look into his eyes. He could see the uncertain there.
“You do? You always look away when I wear clothes that are too revealing. I thought you didn’t like that I had put on weight.”
“Millie, I looked away because it seemed bizarre that I would be ogling my wife of ten years. Especially when I thought that you did not want to sleep with me.”
Millie laughed and kissed him quickly. Charles let both his arms slide around her and held her firmly against him.
“Perhaps we should talk more in the future about this... I mean,” she said. He could feel that she was leaning back a little. He took advantage of it and rolled her onto her back, lying on top of her.
“This,” he repeated, kissing her again. For a long moment neither of them said anything. “You’ll have to come up with a better euphemism than ‘this’.”
Millie didn’t answer, but simply kissed him. There was a hunger in her that he had never experienced before. It was probably a good thing that his mother-in-law was dead, otherwise it could have been a rather awkward conversation when he shouted at her that the advice, she had given her daughter before their wedding was the worst he could possibly imagine. That what she had said had completely dominated the first ten years of their marriage.
Charles felt his blood boil as Millie ran her hands through his hair and down his back. He wanted to touch her everywhere; he let his hands run up and down her sides, lifting himself from her in order to slide the nightgown up and be able to feel her legs. Her thighs were softer and rounder as well and he wanted to lay his head there, bury it between them.
He stroked his hand up her thighs, reaching higher than he had meant to, and his hand touched the patch of hair between her legs. Now that he had touched it however, he could not help but slide his index finger into her warm softness.
Millie twisted beneath him and gasped loudly. Charles felt like his own body absorbed the sound, making it travel to his cock that was straining against his breeches. He wanted her desperately already, but he reminded himself to go slow. This was his one chance, and he did not want to miss it.
He lifted himself on his palms and looked at Millie beneath him. She looked flushed and her braid with the icy blonde hair was coming undone. She smiled shyly, looked away, seemingly studying the closed curtains of her room for a second, before she met his gaze again and held it this time.
“Are we going too fast? Do you want to wait?” Charles asked. He tried to keep his voice neutral, he did not want her to sleep with him out of fear that he might be disappointed. He sighed with relief when she shook her head, still holding his gaze.
Millie placed her hand on his chest and started unbuttoning his dove grey waistcoat.
“I do think, however, that you are wearing too many clothes,” she said with a cheeky smile as her slender fingers unbuttoned the next one. He smiled back at her, feeling that he could not remember having been this happy in months, or perhaps even years.
Charles had had Wynn help him take off his jacket and boots, since they were easier dispensed with when he had help but had kept the rest of his clothes on.
“I think you’re wearing too many clothes too,” he said dumbly as he looked at her bosom that was still covered by her prim nightgown.
Millie laughed as she kept unbuttoning his waistcoat.
“I’m only wearing my nightgown and you’ve already pulled it up above my hips,” she said.
Charles could not help but glance down. The sight of her naked legs, hips and triangle of blonde hair sent another pang of lust through him. He could not help but reach down between them and gently touch her folds. Millie took an audible breath of air. She was writhing underneath him to pull the waistcoat off him. Charles quickly divested himself of it and threw it on the floor, then he touched her again.
Millie was moaning softly as she untucked his shirt from his breeches.
“I thought that I was undressing you,” she said breathily.
“You are,” he said and could not help but kiss her.
Millie’s hands roamed his naked back underneath the shirt, sending shivers of anticipation and desire through him. She was making it difficult for him to wait, but he wanted to go slow for her sake. She started tugging at his shirt and once again he had to let go of her to take it off.
H lifted her nightgown over her head, intent on seeing her completely naked. Seeing her bosom for the first time in years. He could not remember seeing her breasts when they had last been intimate. As far as he recalled, it had been completely dark when they had slept together. Now Millie had several candles lit to be able to read. It offered him a perfect vision of her round breasts with pale pink nipples, and he could not help but lower his head to one of them.
Millie gasped breathily and moaned softly as he started touching her again.
“Charles?” she asked in an urgent voice as she dug her fingers into his upper arms.
He simply made a sound to make it known that he had heard her but kept his mouth on her nipple and his fingers between her legs.
“This can’t be right,” she said and moaned softly. Clearly, she was still not confident enough to moan as loudly and as passionately as she wanted, but he would help her change that.
Charles only lifted his head slightly from her nipple to answer her.
“As long as it feels good, it’s right,” he said and focused on her nipple again.
Millie seemed to accept this; at least she did not comment. She kept moaning softly, almost reluctantly, but it was clear that she wasn’t going to hide that she enjoyed it. He felt her body tense beneath him, around his fingers inside of her, and then with a small gasp she came.
Charles looked up from her breast to see her lie back on the pillow, smiling slightly, her eyes closed.
“That was...” she began, but he could not help but interrupt her. He had to kiss her.
She put her arms around his neck, kissing him softly.
“That was...” she said again when they broke the kiss, and he liked that she had no words for it. She who was always able to help him find just the right word for his speeches was speechless now. “That was...” she said for a third time and opened her eyes to look at him. “I had never expected it to be like this, that you could... or would...”
***
Millie had never seen the look of sheer awe on Charles’s face before. She smiled at him and had to touch him. She seemed unable to keep from touching him now. The sensation that he had just brought her... She had known what a climax felt like before. She had experienced it on her own, although always felt ashamed of it. With Charles she did not need to feel ashamed and even more stunningly the simple act of him touching her to completion had meant that she felt connected to him in a way that she never had before.
She met his dark blue eyes, that seemed to be examining her face intently. He was still wearing his breeches and stockings and she was very aware that he had not climaxed yet. She ached to feel him inside of her and wondered why he had not taken action to divest himself of the rest of his clothing. She had thought that she had given every indication that she would like him to.
It could not be that he did not want to, she could feel his very insisting erection press against her hip through his breeches. She searched his eyes and caught a glimmer of insecurity. Could it be that her confident, self-assured husband who shone in the House of Lords was not certain that she wanted him? Despite everything? There was only one way to test it and Millie decided to plunge right in.
“You’re still wearing too many clothes,” she said and smiled cheekily. He should have no doubt that she wanted him now.
Clearly it was what Charles had been waiting for. He jumped off her and onto the floor, still chuckling at her remark as he quickly divested himself of his breeches, stockings, and smalls. More reverently he lay back on top of her, his eyes still examining her face. Millie moved her legs further apart as an invitation and he settled himself between them, then slowly thrust into her. She gasped at the feeling of him inside her, knowing that she did not have to hide that she enjoyed it.
Before when he had been inside of her, he had been just on the verge of spending when he entered her. Now he slowly built up the speed inside of her, until Millie was clinging to him, digging her nails into his upper arms, as she tried to grasp that it was possible to feel this good.
“This is too much,” she could not help but moan.
“Do you like it?” he asked pantingly, a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth.
“Too much,” Millie repeated and smiled at him.
He quickly lowered his head to kiss her, but they both were so close to climaxing, that the kiss merely was an openmouthed pant. Millie gasped loudly as all her muscles tensed at the same time, from her curling toes to her fingers digging into Charles’s back in a climax that was more intense than what she had ever experienced before.
Her completion seemed to be what drove Charles over the edge. He held on to her shoulders as he buried himself deep inside of her and moaned loudly.
Millie held him closely. The moments were not for words. For the first time she understood the meaning of making love. Until now she had believed that love was simply something you felt, but when he was inside of her, it felt like they were actually creating the emotion between the two of them.