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“Mama, why are you smiling all the time?” Lucinda asked two weeks later as Millie and her daughters were walking in Hyde Park. Millie looked at her daughter, who was holding her left hand. Charlotte was holding on to her right seemingly interested in a young lady walking a puppy. But Millie knew her oldest daughter well enough to know that she was listening intently to their conversation.
“I’m just happy,” Millie said as she looked up again and nodded at the elderly Earl and the stout Countess of Clopton walking towards them.
“Is it because you’re going to have a baby?” Lucinda said as they passed the couple.
Millie looked frightened at them and was sure when they turned their heads that they had heard every word. She looked forward, trying not to mind.
“I’m not having a baby, we talked about this, Lucinda,” she said in a lower voice, hoping that Lucinda would lower her voice as well.
“But if only you would tell me how a baby is made, then I would know for certain,” Lucinda kept going, in the same high-pitched voice.
She and Charles had been able to stall the children by telling them, shortly after they had been discovered in bed together, that it was natural for mamas and papas to share a bed on occasion and promise to tell them how babies were made – when they were older. Lucinda had of course pressed for a specific age and Millie had ended up saying that she would tell Charlotte when she was eighteen. This had of course angered Lucinda and she had said that she wanted to know as well. Which meant that Millie had to promise to include her in the conversation.
Henry had bickered that he wanted to know as well, but Millie had said that it was a matter he had to discuss with his father. As she said this, she had looked pointedly at Charles, who had seemed to be dodging the conversation as much as possible without actually leaving.
“We’ll have a chat about it... when you’re fourteen,” Charles said.
This had, of course, caused Lucinda to argue that it was unfair, but neither Millie nor Charles had wanted to listen to the children’s bickering at that point.
“We’ve talked about this, Lucinda. You will know... in due time,” Millie said and tried to make her voice as ominous as possible, hoping that it would make Lucinda drop the subject.
“I’ll just ask Edmund then,” Lucinda said, pointing her nose at the sky.
“He doesn’t know either, silly,” Charlotte said. Charlotte, being three years older than Edmund, did not bother to listen to his stories the same way that Lucinda and Henry did.
“He does too, he told me himself,” Lucinda said.
The girls started quarreling over the size of Edmund Winterbottom’s knowledge in regard to making babies. Millie crossed her eyes as she realized this was most likely how the rest of their walk would pan out.
“Why don’t we go to Gunter’s for ice cream?” she exclaimed, hoping to take their minds off having babies all together.
Luckily it worked since Lucinda and Charlotte started discussing the flavors of ice cream instead. Millie tried not to sigh with relief as she listened to their conversation with half an ear. Her mind quickly wandered to how she and Charles had spent the night. If one didn’t know better, one would think that they were actually trying to conceive a child with the amount of work they put into it. No, work was not the right word. With the frequency with which they... did it.
Millie could feel herself blushing even thinking about the word, and especially while walking with her daughters. Charles had taught her some of the euphemisms for it, but she still felt unsure about using them.
“Papa, Papa,” Lucinda said as they met Charles and Henry on the stairs to their house about an hour later. Both were in their riding attire as Charles had been teaching Henry to ride. “Mama took us to Gunter’s.”
“She did, did she?” Charles said as Curtis, their butler, opened the door. Charles looked at Millie with a smile that made her feel warm all over and she could feel herself blushing again.
“I want to go to Gunter’s too. Why didn’t we go to Gunter’s?” Henry moped as the entire family entered the hallway.
“Because we went riding,” Charles said a bit curtly. “And I thought that Mama and the girls were going to walk in Hyde Park.”
“We were, but then Mama wanted ice cream,” Charlotte said as she started ascending the stairs after handing over her bonnet and jacket to a footman. She was too bony and her legs too long to be truly elegant, but it was clear to Millie that she would be very graceful when she grew up.
“It’s because Mama is having a baby,” Lucinda said as she ran up the stairs after Charlotte, simply throwing her bonnet on the side table and her jacket on the floor while the footman was stowing Charlotte’s garments away.
“I want a baby brother,” Henry said as he ran after Lucinda, followed by Nanny who had appeared from the kitchen and shouted at both of them not to run.
Millie rolled her eyes and smiled at Charles as they started ascending the steps together, after having waited for the footman to finish putting the children’s garments away and then taking Millie’s hat and jacket.
“I had to distract them with something,” she whispered when she felt certain that they were out of earshot from Curtis and the footman. “Lucinda keeps droning on about us having a baby.”
“I know,” Charles said as he took her arm and led her down the corridor towards their bedrooms. Of course, he had to change his clothes and probably bathe. Millie didn’t, but she did not mind accompanying him. “Henry mentions a baby brother constantly as well.”
He quickly looked up and down the hallway then dropped a quick kiss on her lips. Millie smiled and followed him to his bedroom.
“Do you think we should say anything to make them stop? I’m quite certain that Lord and Lady Clopton overheard our conversation,” Millie said as she sat down on the side of his bed.
Charles rang for Wynn, then sat down in a comfortable chair by the fireplace.
“They’ll grow tired of it soon enough,” he said with a smile.
Millie smiled back, then she could feel her smile fade at what she had to tell him.
“I’d... I’d like to give you another child, Charles. But I doubt that it would be possible,” she then said hesitantly, without looking at him. It needed to be said. Even though she felt certain that he did not expect it of her, she still wanted to say it.
Charles quickly moved to sit beside her on the bed, taking her hands.
“Of course, I know that you would want another child. And I never blamed you for not conceiving,” he said.
Millie looked into his dark blue eyes. They seemed endless like a deep ocean but sincere in a way that the ocean could never be.
“So that wasn’t why you stopped sleeping with me?” she said.
Charles looked away, letting go of her hands and placing an arm around her instead.
“Partly I suppose. I saw no reason to continue when you weren’t able to conceive. I remember the last time... you placed a pillow over your head. I felt certain that I hurt you.”
Millie could not help but laugh, although it was a sad laugh.
“I hid my face, because I wanted to moan with pleasure,” she said softly as she turned to look at him.
“Gad, we were stupid, weren’t we?” Charles said as he faced her as well, before kissing her solemnly.
They were interrupted when Wynn opened the door.
“I’m so sorry, Your Grace,” he said and was about to close the door again.
“No, Wynn, please come in. I need your help with the boots and the jacket. And then if you would let the kitchen know that I’d like a bath,” Charles said as he sat down in the chair again.
Millie stood up and walked towards the door to the corridor, as Wynn knelt in front of Charles, helping him with his boots.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Charles said and reached for her hand.
“I just wanted to give you some privacy,” Millie said and looked at Wynn, who at least appeared to be intensely focused on his job of removing Charles’s left boot.
“I hoped that you would stay and help me bathe,” Charles said completely shamelessly.
Millie could not help but laugh a little even though she blushed as well. Despite being a bit mortified about what Charles had said in Wynn’s presence, she went back to sit down on the bed.
***
“I don’t understand why we have to leave already?” Charles said nine hours later as Wynn was helping him tie his cravat in an elaborate style.
Millie watched from the doorway. She had already changed to her evening gown, one of her favorites in midnight blue silk. She crossed her arms as she looked at him.
“Because I want to be there in good time. Caroline Winterbottom is one of my closest friends and this will probably be the last party she is able to host before the baby is due,” Millie said calmly, as she could see the muscles around Charles’ mouth twitch.
She knew that he hated to dress up, especially having his cravat tied like this.
“But if we leave now, we’ll end up in a line of carriages. We’ll easily end up being stuck for half an hour,” Charles said.
“Oh, no, it won’t be that bad,” Millie said walking into her own room, but leaving the door open. She was aware they would probably end up waiting for at least half an hour in the carriage. She was hoping for more. She walked back from her aimless stroll of her own room, tucking on her long ebony glove as if she had just adjusted it.
Charles was standing up now, his cravat tied; Wynn helped him into his dark grey almost black jacket and Charles pulled on white gloves. Millie was about to say that he looked handsome, but he said in a grumpy voice:
“Well, let us leave then.”
He offered Millie his arm and they walked down the corridor. The children were waiting for them at the top of the stairs with Nanny. Charlotte admired Millie’s dress; Lucinda had to comment that it was not a new one. Henry, who was already tired, didn’t say much. Millie quickly kissed them; Charles patted their heads and then the two of them headed down the stairs.
Curtis helped Charles into his overcoat and Millie into her cloak then they were out the door.
“Well, it’s always something that the grooms have put hot bricks in the carriage,” Charles grumbled as they settled into the carriage on opposite seats. Even though it was April, the nights were still a bit chilly, Millie had to recognize that.
Millie didn’t answer but couldn’t help biting her lower lip. If he was this grumpy, surely this had been a misjudgment on her part. The carriage continued through the not completely dark London. It was the end of April, and it would not be completely dark until at least another hour had passed.
“I told you, there would be too much traffic,” Charles exclaimed as the carriage came to a stop a moment later.
Millie sighed and crossed her arms.
“I’m sorry, this was a bad idea,” she said looking out the window.
“It was,” Charles said, crossing his arms and looking out the other window.
“It’s just...” Millie uncrossed her arms and leaned forward a little, “Lady Winterbottom told me that she was sure that one of their children, I believe it was Tommy, had been conceived in their carriage. On the way to our Christmas Party in fact. And I thought that maybe...”
Charles looked at her with a dumbfounded look, then he laughed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said as he reached for her hand, tugging it gently to get her to move to his lap.
“Well, I wanted to surprise you,” Millie said and smiled up at him.
“You certainly did,” he said before he kissed her. He quickly tugged off his gloves and threw them on the seat beside him, then removed hers. “No drawers?” he mumbled against her mouth a moment later, as his hands slid up her thighs. Millie shook her head and smiled.
“I planned it carefully, you see,” she said.
“And I almost ruined it,” Charles said. And then all that was heard was a quickened breathing and subtle moans until their carriage was almost at the Winterbottom residence.
“Do you know where Lady Winterbottom also feels certain that they conceived a child?” Millie said with a smile, as she was feeling her hair carefully to make sure that it had not come undone.
“I have no idea,” Charles said as he adjusted his breeches and pulled on his gloves again.
“Our music room,” Millie said.
“Our? How many of the Winterbottom children have been conceived in our house?” Charles said with a smile. “I can’t wait till I see Hugh at the club next time.” Then his chain of thought seemed to shift as he said: “The Winterbottoms must have a music room.”
“Oh, they do,” Millie said with a smile, buttoning her cloak. “The third door on the first floor in the opposite direction of the ballroom.”
A footman was opening the door now. Charles stepped out, holding out his hand to help Millie down.
“I’m sorry I was so grumpy earlier,” he said as they started walking towards the stairs. “It’s just... these events always make me nervous.”
“But you speak in parliament all the time, how can this be more...”
Charles shrugged and Millie decided to let it go.
“I knew you weren’t angry with me,” she said in a subdued voice.
“So, you’ll meet me in the music room at midnight?”
Millie looked at him and beamed.