6 AUGUST
Will you look at that, thought Professor Alan G. F. Milton as he stole another look at the breasts of a student jogger in the car park of the University of Washington. Nineteen, twenty? Got to be at least a 34E! He opened the door of his new Porsche Boxster and flung his briefcase onto the passenger seat. He got another glance at the equally bouncy rear of the jogger as he fixed his hair in the rear-view mirror and then his cell phone rang.
‘Professor Milton speaking.’
‘Professor Milton, how do you do. This is Tsan Yohoto in Tokyo. Can you talk?’
‘Yes, yes, I’m in the car.’
‘Professor, as you know, we are delighted with our SuperVerve progress in New York. Your work has been most helpful.’
‘Why, thank you, Tsan.’ The one and a half million dollars has been most helpful too.
‘We have just another nine months or so to go with our New York pilot programme. We are most keen to complete the work and there is, of course, the potential of final bonuses, depending on sales.’
Professor Milton’s heart soared.
‘Unfortunately, we have the slight nuisance now of an FDA inquiry. Some nonsense about our advertising.’
Professor Milton’s heart sank.
‘We’re going to need your help. We’ve given the inquiry all the clinical trial data and they need you and your team to meet with a panel of doctors at the FDA. You know, the usual routine.’
Professor Milton’s heart sank further. Christ, this is all I need. He’d sat on a few approval panels over the years, but he wasn’t too keen on being questioned about his own reports.
‘Of course, Tsan. I’d be glad to help,’ he offered.
‘We’re fixing a time with them for the meeting. I’ll email you the names of their doctors – I don’t recognise any of them.’
‘Great, thank you.’
‘We’re not in any rush to get this underway, as I’m sure you understand, Professor. So, I suggest you alert Professor Kolsen and Dr Cook. I feel it highly unlikely that the schedules of three such important men will allow for an inquiry meeting for at least a month.’
‘Highly unlikely, highly unlikely,’ Milton agreed.
‘We’ll speak again soon, Professor. Goodbye,’ finished Tsan Yohoto.
Professor Alan G.F. Milton let out a heavy sigh and frowned at himself in the mirror. An FDA inquiry. I’ve a real bad feeling about this. Better call the boys.
*
‘Hey, lass,’ said Anna Milani, ‘it’s not so long since you were, like, giving out about that stuff.’
‘If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,’ said Cindy as she downed a SuperVerve tablet with a mango and passion fruit smoothie. It was half eight on a bright morning in Manhattan. Cindy and Anna were in the juice bar in the Newlife Fitness Club on West 43rd, opposite the New York Times building, and just a couple of minutes’ walk from Dynamic Communications. They tried to work out together at least twice a week, starting at 7.45 a.m., which usually saw them showered and at their desks before nine.
‘So, how’s Mr Detective?’ asked Cindy.
‘Oh, he’s great. It’s been real nice being together for the summer. He’s taking me to meet his parents soon.’
‘Woohoo!’ said Cindy, mock punching Anna’s arm. ‘Getting serious.’
‘Maybe.’ Anna laughed. ‘How are things with José?’
‘Huh. All over I’m afraid. The usual “this isn’t working” speech.’
‘Aw, Cindy. I’m sorry,’ said Anna, reaching over to give her a hug.
‘Don’t worry. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that.’ Maybe it’s time for another slice of Mr Detective? Sounds like he’s thinking of settling down. A lotta guys like a last fling.
‘Hey, guys, can I join you?’ Liza, a sassy lawyer, another regular at the gym, pulled in a stool.
‘Sure, lotsa room.’
Liza put her glass of fresh orange juice down, opened her handbag and took out a packet of SuperVerve.
‘You still got those stomach problems?’ asked Cindy, nodding at the packet on the table.
‘No, that’s okay now,’ said Liza, pushing her thick curly hair back into a bobble. ‘The SuperVerve did the trick. But now they’ve discovered they also help with long-term weight loss. In Japan, apparently, and there aren’t many fat people over there.’ She swallowed a tablet and flinched as the tangy orange juice sparked her taste buds. ‘You guys should know – you do the advertising!’
‘Yeah,’ replied Cindy. ‘Seems to work too. I’d say about half the girls in the gym are taking them.’
‘You’re right there,’ said Liza. ‘You want one, Anna?’
‘Me? No thanks, I’ll just stick to the smoothies and the exercise,’ said Anna, smiling.
‘Well, I’m gonna take all the help I can get,’ said Cindy, taking her own packet of SuperVerve out of her bag. She swallowed a tablet, then stood up and examined her outline in a mirror. ‘Got to counteract all those BurgerFantastics!’