When Billy got to the station, there was no sign of Sally, so he waited in a shady spot near the entrance for her to arrive. Before too long, he saw her familiar loping gait, so he waved her over. She greeted him with a huge smile.
‘I’m having such a great day!’ she said.
‘Where’s the luggage?’ said Billy.
‘The luggage?’
‘How are we going to leave town without our luggage?’
Sally’s face fell. ‘Why are we going to leave town? I like it here.’
‘I told you. Because there’s another Shakespeare.’
‘But I just got a job. At the newsagent. Like you told me to.’
Billy felt like a man who, having run headlong into a brick wall, is so disorientated that he runs into the same brick wall again.
‘Oh my God,’ he said, ‘I’ve been such an idiot. Of course. I should have known. I should have realised.’
‘Realised what?’ said Sally.
‘Have you got enough money for a coffee? I think we should sit down.’
There was a cafe in the station so they went in there. It was over-lit and smelled strongly of yeast, a scent Billy reckoned they piped in to make up for the fact that none of the sweaty-looking pastries on display was baked on site. Sally bought them both things that were advertised as coffees, but which were little more than bitter brown water.
‘You know how we weren’t made the normal way?’ said Billy, pouring something that was approximately milk into his approximately coffee.
‘Yes, of course. I’m the control group.’
She sounded proud. Something in Billy’s heart broke a little. In order to make her experiment complete, Eleanor had decided that she needed another clone: female to his male, unknown to his known, unexceptional to his exceptional. She had procured a hair from the back of a seat on a number 73 bus for that purpose. Later she would often complain that she hadn’t meant for her second clone to be that unexceptional. Billy had learned young to notice Eleanor’s frustration with Sally before Sally or even Eleanor herself did, and to get Sally out of the way before Eleanor started to vent. Sally still thought she was special, which, of course, she was. But now there was another special Sally.
‘You know how we always thought that there was just one of me and one of you?’ he said to her. ‘Well, it seems like there might be another one of me and another one of you, and they’re living in this town.’ Billy blinked. Something about this sounded familiar, like déjà vu. Or had he read it somewhere?
Sally meanwhile was nodding.
‘Cool,’ she said.
‘Cool?’
‘Yes! Don’t you think it’s cool? You’ve got a brother who’s exactly like you! And I’ve got a sister …’ Sally trailed off. ‘Billy, did you talk to Nelson Thomas about me?’
‘Who’s Nelson Thomas?’
‘The man at the newsagent. With the smile. And the nice forearms.’
‘No, I haven’t been to any newsagent today. How is this relevant?’
‘I think I’ve taken my sister’s job. I have to go and tell him!’
‘What? No. You don’t have to tell anyone anything. In fact, you need to stop interacting with people completely until we can get out of this town.’
‘But it isn’t fair. Nelson Thomas thinks I’m coming to work on Monday, and he’s going to be really pissed off when I don’t turn up, and it isn’t even really me who isn’t turning up, it’s my sister.’
‘She’s not your sister,’ said Billy. ‘She’s another you. Also made from the hair on the bus seat.’
‘Like an identical twin.’
‘Yes.’
‘So she is my sister.’
Billy sighed. ‘Yes, if you want to see it that way.’ Which meant that William Evans, playwright and poet extraordinaire, husband of the glorious Thandie, was his brother, damn him to hell.
‘And I’ve taken her job.’
‘She will survive.’
‘I suppose so. Still doesn’t seem fair.’
They both sipped their horrible coffees and thought about the implications.
‘It was a really nice newsagent,’ said Sally.
‘So, this morning,’ said Billy, ‘if it wasn’t you who took me to Thandie’s house, where were you? Aside from in the newsagent.’
‘I got us a B&B, like you asked. And then I took you there.’
‘You took me there?’
‘Yeah.’
‘That wasn’t me! You mean you met William Evans?’
‘I don’t know. I suppose so.’
‘Sally! What was he like?’
‘He was like you. I don’t know! Maybe a bit cleaner? He was talking about his play … Oh. So it wasn’t you, who wrote the play.’
Shame smacked him in the face like a wave of seawater. ‘No,’ he snapped, ‘it’s never bloody me who wrote the play.’
‘I’m sure you could write a really good play if you wanted to,’ said Sally.
‘What do you mean, if I wanted to?’
‘Oh, no, I mean, like, when you’re ready.’
‘You said if I wanted to. Of course I want to.’
‘Yeah, of course, I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just, you know, when Mum used to make you try, you didn’t like it …’
‘It’s who I am, Sally.’
‘Yes,’ said Sally. ‘I know that.’
If he wanted to? Billy was so exasperated that he actually had a mouthful of his coffee. It didn’t taste any better now that it was lukewarm.
‘So what did he say when you took him to the B&B?’ he said.
‘Who?’
‘William Evans. The other me.’
Sally thought back. ‘Thank you? And something about being vegan?’
But if he’s vegan, why did Thandie cook him a chicken? This day was getting more confusing all the time.
‘So that’s why you want to leave?’ said Sally. ‘Because there’s two of each of us, and I’ve taken her job and he’s written your play? But I like it here. Everyone’s really friendly. Maybe we can find the other me and the other you and sort it all out with them.’
‘It’s not you everyone’s being friendly towards,’ said Billy, ‘it’s Other Sally. And as for finding them, I don’t know about Other Sally, but I don’t think that Other Billy is going to be too pleased to see me.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because right now he might not know that he’s actually Shakespeare.’
‘Why would that matter?’
‘It takes the achievement away, of all the plays and poetry he’s written.’
‘Does it?’ said Sally. ‘Why?’
Billy couldn’t find a good answer for that.
‘The important thing,’ he said, ‘is that we don’t get separated again. Trust me, if the others find out about us, they’re going to get very confused and upset. Where did you leave the luggage?’
‘At the B&B. With you. I mean with Other Billy.’
‘OK. We’ll go there together, and I’ll wait outside while you get the bags so that Other Billy doesn’t see me, and then we’ll come back together, and leave, and everything will go back to normal as if none of this ever happened.’
Sally bit her lip. ‘What if I don’t like normal?’ she said.
‘Oh, Sally. I’ll make it a better normal. I promise. I’ll write my own play, and we’ll find you another newsagent. But we can’t stay here.’
Sally nodded slowly. ‘All right. If you say so.’ But she didn’t sound happy about it.
‘Good girl,’ said Billy. ‘Now, what’s the most important thing to remember?’
Sally looked at him blankly.
‘Don’t get separated,’ Billy reminded her.
‘Right. Don’t get separated.’
At that moment, the door to the cafe opened, and Thandie came in, dressed in exercise gear. Her face was flushed and her hair was awry and to Billy she looked sexier than ever.
‘Bill,’ she said. ‘I thought I might find you here. Anthony …’ Her voice broke slightly on the name, ‘… told me that you were planning to leave town. You don’t have to go. Not because of – him, or anything. Let’s just talk about it, OK?’
Billy opened his mouth, then he looked over at Sally.
‘Sal,’ said Thandie, ‘Bill and I really need to talk alone. I tell you what, I’ll give you twenty quid and you can go to the pub, yeah?’
Sally raised her eyebrows at Billy.
‘Just go to the pub,’ he said, ‘it’ll be fine.’
‘But you said—’
‘It’ll be fine.’
Sally shrugged and took the £20 note Thandie was holding out to her. Then she left the cafe, leaving Billy and Thandie alone.
Thandie sat down in Sally’s seat. She turned Sally’s cup in its saucer.
‘I wouldn’t drink that if I were you,’ said Billy, ‘it’s like dishwater.’
‘It can’t be worse than the Karma Revive Soyccino,’ said Thandie, but she didn’t take a sip. ‘Listen, Bill. I know about Anthony.’
‘The traffic warden?’
Thandie was taken aback. ‘The actor,’ she said. ‘Jesus, Bill, how many of them are there?’
‘No, no, the actor, of course. He’s probably just a traffic warden to pay the bills. That makes sense. Young guy, pale blond hair?’
‘Very young,’ said Thandie. ‘Honestly, Bill, what were you thinking?’
‘I have absolutely no idea.’
Thandie leaned back in her chair. ‘Look, I didn’t come here to fight. I met Anthony, by coincidence, or maybe he was looking for me, I don’t know. I’m assuming he doesn’t walk around in yoga gear all the time. He seems like a nice lad, and – and very taken with you. I don’t want to discuss it, I don’t want to know the details. It’s just … he said that you were acting strangely when he saw you earlier, that you weren’t yourself, and you didn’t really seem like yourself at lunchtime today either. And the more I think about it, the more I’m worried about you, and – and – he’s worried about you too, and we just, both of us, want what’s best for you, and for you to be all right.’ She leaned forward again across the table, made to touch his hand and then thought better of it.
‘Yes,’ said Billy slowly, ‘I can see that this must be very confusing for you.’
‘I actually – and why not be honest now – I actually liked the way you were at lunch today, saying nice things about the house, and that I was a wonderful wife, and …’ Thandie looked away, out of the window of the cafe. ‘Telling me I was beautiful in our wedding photo.’
‘You are beautiful,’ said Billy. ‘Then and now.’
‘But – but if you’ve fallen in love with somebody else – and it doesn’t matter that it’s a man. Really. That’s not the point of what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, I can let you go.’ Thandie turned back to him, her eyes brimming with tears. ‘The things that Anthony said you told him, that you felt like you weren’t yourself any more, that you needed to get away. If it’s being stuck with me that’s upsetting you that much – it’s not worth it, Bill. I don’t want you to hurt like that.’
‘It’s not you,’ said Billy. ‘Don’t say that. None of this is your fault. I’m not in love with Anthony. I’m in love with you.’
Thandie’s face filled with hope.
‘Do you mean that?’ she said.
‘As much as I’ve ever meant anything. Actually, probably more so.’
Now she did take hold of his hand.
‘You really are different today,’ she said.
Their eyes locked. Billy was filled with the overwhelming desire to kiss her. No, he thought, definitely not. That would absolutely be the wrong thing to do.
But Thandie stood up, pulling him towards her. ‘We still need to have a proper conversation about all this,’ she said. And then she kissed him.
This is not your wife, Billy reminded himself as he melted into Thandie’s delectable embrace. Think of a plan B, there has to be a plan B, a clever plan B that will get me out of this without anybody getting hurt, in just a minute, just one minute, maybe just another minute …