After I help clean up the studio, I hug and thank Millie and Mama for all their support in this venture of mine.
“I really like your friend, Ethan,” Mama says with a twinkle in her eye, and it’s the first time she’s really given her approval for a lady since Alana. It makes my smile grow even bigger.
“She’s cute. Perfect for you. Seems real nice,” she adds, smiling. I know she’s being sincere, too.
“She is, but tell me what you think about her once you’ve read her book, the one Aunt Millie made you download.” I laugh, knowing it’s probably full of dirty, vulgar sex scenes, especially if Vada’s words are anything like the Vada I know in bed.
Millie bursts out into evil laughter. After standing for a little while longer, we exchange big hugs then I walk them out to the car, making sure they leave safely.
“We had a record day in sales,” Hilary says excitedly when I walk back in. I round the counter, and she points her finger to the screen, showing me the amount.
“That’s great news. I can’t wait to make the donation to the March of Dimes,” I tell her with a smile. If there’s a premature baby out there that has a fighting chance, I want to do everything I can to save a life and someone else from going through what I did. Jessica, who’s in charge of scheduling and other maintenance, lets out a loud aww, but I try to ignore it. I don’t do it for recognition. I do it to make a difference, as small as it may be.
“Do you need anything else before I head out?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
Several interns speak up all at once saying they’ve got it, and I know they do.
“Fine,” I tell them with a smile and a wave before I leave for the day.
On the drive home, all I can think about is seeing Vada again, kissing Vada, being with Vada. My thoughts are consumed with her. She’s on my mind every moment of the day, and when she’s away, it’s like a part of me is missing. That woman somehow stole a piece of my heart, and I don’t want it back. Hell, she can keep it as long as she’s here in Charleston with me.
I drive across town and replay the last week, and I’m so fucking happy Vada is extending her stay. We’ll have more time to be together and see where this leads. In my heart, I know this is the real deal, but I need to make sure we haven’t rushed into something crazy. Regardless, I’m already falling hard for her, and there’s no rescue mission in place. Truthfully, I don’t want to be saved. Just the thought of her smile, laugh, the way she says my name, or the look on her face when she loses herself with me, makes me feel things I haven’t in a long-ass time.
Before I head home, I stop and pick up a dozen red roses and a bottle of Cabernet, since I know it’s her favorite. There’s a lot of celebrating to be done since my Vada is staying. Eventually, she’ll have to leave, but hopefully only to pack her apartment and return back to me.
Tonight, I want to order in and spend the rest of the night showing her what she truly means to me. At the studio, when she walked in, it was like everything around me had faded to black, except her. Vada makes me feel something I never knew I’d feel again—whole.
When I park the car, my heart lurches forward, and I’m so damn excited to finally be home. It was the longest drive ever. I walk through the house, hurry and feed Wilma, then go through the back door with the roses and wine in hand. The smile on my face almost immediately fades when I see all the lights are off in the cottage and the door is locked. Thinking that she’s probably trying to surprise me, I walk back to the house and immediately climb the stairs to my bedroom. Opening the door, I realize she’s not there either.
“Vada?” I finally call her name.
I wait but don’t hear a reply.
Going back downstairs, I set the flowers and wine down, and that’s when I see a handwritten note on the counter.
Confused, I pick it up and read the scribbled words. With each sentence, I feel like I’m choking.
My heart is torn as I write this, but I’m leaving for Chicago tonight. By the time you get home, I’m sure I’ll already be on the plane. After I left the studio today, I realized how stupid I was being. I can’t be here, Ethan. I won’t be played, and I won’t allow myself to be that girl. It’s better this way. -Vada
I notice the splashes of ink on the paper and know she was crying as she wrote this, and it tears me apart. Immediately, I pull my phone from my pocket and call her, but it goes straight to voicemail.
My voice cracks when I speak. “Vada, please call me. I don’t know what you’re talking about or what happened since you left the studio. Please talk to me so we can figure this out.”
I know I sound desperate, but the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time just walked away with a half-ass explanation, and I need to know what triggered this. Everything was absolutely perfect when she left the studio. I think about the last words we exchanged, and it was goodbyes, surrounded by smiles. If I would’ve known she’d be leaving for good, I would’ve never let her get in that car earlier. Something happened, and I’m going to lose my mind until I know what.
Halfway hoping this is some sick joke, I walk back to the cottage with the key tightly grasped in my hand and almost lose it when I see all of her belongings are gone. Her suitcase, laptop, everything. It’s as if it was all a dream and she never happened.
“No,” I say, quietly to myself. “This isn’t happening.”
Instead of giving up, I keep calling her, hoping she’ll answer, but she never does. After everything we’ve been through, after I ripped my heart open and poured myself out to her, she leaves me. Vada saw my true, raw self, and she still left, and the thought of what I’ve lost cripples me.
It’s been a week since Vada left, and it’s like my whole world has shattered into shards again. She rejects my calls and sends me straight to voicemail. I’m pretty sure I’m blocked at this point because I’ve called and texted so much, begging her to talk to me. Regardless of what I say on those voice messages, she doesn’t return them. I have zero control over this, and while I’m trying to be patient and give her time if that’s what she needs, it’s not in my nature, especially when I’m hurting so badly.
There’s a hole in my heart, and I miss her so fucking much.
“Why don’t you go to her?” Millie asks as we drive across town to pick up some plants for her front porch. She refused to let me stay home and wallow in my emotions and even pulled the old people card to force me to join her.
“Because she doesn’t answer my calls, so why would she want to see me? All I want is an explanation of what the hell happened, some clarity on what changed from the time she left the studio to when she decided to bail. Everything was going so great, then she was gone.” I ball my hands in fists, and I feel like I’m losing all the control I’d found when she was here.
“Tell me what the note said again,” she insists. “Maybe I can read between the lines.”
I repeat the note without even having to look at it because I’ve read it so many times and have the damn thing memorized. Millie sits silently while she thinks and parks the car.
“Something significant enough to make her change her mind must’ve happened after she left the studio. That’s what you need to figure out,” she tells me matter-of-factly as if I hadn’t already been trying to put the pieces together. I’ve been driving myself insane thinking of different things, but nothing makes sense.
I roll my eyes as I unbuckle, then mumble more to myself as I get out of the car. “Leave it to detective Millie.”
Not waiting for me, she grabs a cart and walks inside the store. This is the last thing I wish I were doing right now, especially considering I’m in such a pissy mood. By the time I find Millie, she’s looking at an ugly bush and talking to someone who’s even uglier–Harmony Hansen—an ex-fling I’d rather forget about.
“Oh, hey Ethan,” she says in an over-the-top, high-pitched voice. “So nice seeing you last weekend at the studio.”
“Yeah,” is all I offer, and Millie elbows me in the ribs for being rude, but things didn’t end well between us, and I’m not going to give her false hope by being polite.
Harmony knew the rules between us. One night, that was it, but she didn’t get the hint until I kicked her out of bed the same night. From that point on, she’s desperately tried to get back in bed with me, but I knew what she wanted and what I wanted were two different things. I wasn’t ready for anything serious, but she made it very clear she wanted something long-term. A husband. I was in no emotional mindset for that.Though it’s been years, she hasn’t given up on the thought of us. Harmony is literally the epitome of stalker ex. After one night, she was obsessed. If I could go back in time, I’d erase the history between us. It was a stupid, liquor-influenced mistake.
“Don’t mind him, hon. He’s in a bad mood. So what have you been up to lately?” Millie genuinely asks. “Haven’t seen you at the book club meetings in a while.” I really have no reason to stay around, so I pretend to look at plants, hoping this isn’t a long conversation.
Millie talks about the books she’s been reading and mentions Vada’s name. My heart sinks at the thought of her.
“Vada, right,” she says as if saying her name is venom. “I ran into her at the grocery store after I left the studio last weekend. Real sweet girl,” Harmony says, plastering the biggest deviant smile on her face.
I blink, realization setting in. “Wait. What did you say? When did you speak to her?” My jaw clenches, and I instantly realize what happened. No telling what Harmony told Vada, considering I ignored her at the restaurant the night of mine and Vada’s date. It was easier to pretend she didn’t exist when she looked at me from across the room with those come-hither eyes. Seeing me with a woman always drives her insane, but seeing me with the same woman at the studio probably set her off even more.
“Oh, nothing.” Harmony realizes how much she fucked up by saying those words. She knew exactly what she was doing when she saw Vada. She was trying to sabotage what we had.
Millie notices my flaring nostrils and speaks for me. “So what did you two discuss, hon? Her books?”
After hesitating for an awkward moment, she gives me an evil smile. “Ethan.”
“You bitch,” I growl, anticipating Millie’s reaction, but she doesn’t scold me like I figured. Instead, she glares at Harmony and shakes her head before walking away without another word, leaving the two of us alone. Aunt Millie and the silent treatment together is a frightening pair.
Before walking away, I look Harmony dead in her eyes. My tone is serious, and I hope for once she gets the fucking hint. “I told you once before we’d never be anything, so get the fuck out of my life and stay out.”
Millie is still shaking her head as she pushes her cart forward, leaving me alone with her.
“Ethan, baby. I didn’t tell her anything she wouldn’t have eventually figured out.” Her words are laced in a condescending tone. “It was just too easy. It was obvious you two were getting close and it was easy to assume you were telling her all about your sad past. Once I saw you take her down to the beach on your little date, there was no way you hadn’t told her and as soon as I brought it up, her face dropped faster than her panties could for you.”
“Don’t you fucking talk about her that way,” I growl, taking a step toward her and giving no shits how loud I’m being.
She doesn’t even flinch, her cold stone glare fuels my anger even more. “Too bad she left before you could lie your way out of this one.” She flashes an evil grin before jerking her cart forward and walking away.
My blood is boiling at the revelation of what just happened. As soon as I saw Harmony at the restaurant, I should’ve left and taken Vada somewhere else, but I didn’t want to start our night on a bad note. Should’ve figured she’d watch us the entire time.
I inhale deeply before glancing around for Aunt Millie and jogging to catch up to her.
“I warned you about those random dates, Ethan. Those type of women are no good and now look what happened,” she scolds.
Pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers, I sigh. “I know. I wish I could take back that mistake. I’m beyond pissed about this. I don’t even know what to do right now. No telling exactly what Harmony said to her, although I have a pretty good guess considering what she just told me. She’s a goddamn liar and a jealous and petty bitch.” I shake my head, growing angrier at the whole situation.
“Language, Ethan,” she reminds me.
I follow Millie to the counter and pay for her plants then help her load them in the backseat of her car. After we get in and before she starts the engine, she turns and looks at me.
“You know what you have to do, hon. You’re a fighter. You always have been and always will be. When you want something, you go after it. So, fight for what you love. Harmony was wrong to do that to you, and I’m going to have a chat with her Mama the next time I see her.”
I give her a small smile. Millie may be a polite, southern woman, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a dark side. She doesn’t get back—she gets even—especially for her favorite nephew.
“So, I’ll take care of things while you go to Chicago,” she adds, trying to cheer me up.
“I don’t know, Aunt Millie. What if it can’t be repaired? Who knows what Vada thinks of me now, and I know I couldn’t handle losing her all over again. I don’t think I can get over her or ever will. Maybe she needs some space, and I’ll give that to her, even if it kills me in the end.” The words hurt coming out, but once you lose someone you love, you’re constantly afraid you’ll lose it again.
“Don’t be stupid, boy.” She slaps me with her harsh words. “You fight for her and don’t stop until she listens to you. Harmony filled her head with lies, and you need to clear the air, even if she decides she doesn’t want to be with you. You owe her that much at least.”
God. Leave it to Aunt Millie to put me in my place.
Although she’s right, Vada may not give me the opportunity to clear the air or make things right—so I just might have to go another route to grab her attention.
Even if it takes the rest of my life.