My professional goal has always been to become obsolete, that is, no longer needed. I would be most happy to achieve this goal as a result of the elimination of trauma from the world. But since that is not likely, I will settle for becoming unneeded because traumatized individuals are extremely well prepared—informed and equipped—to direct their own healing. I hope that 8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery will make a significant contribution toward achieving that goal. It is my aim for this book to supply you with essential knowledge and tools that will make your recovery from trauma a safe journey.
Why do I keep using the term safe when I talk about trauma recovery? As most of you reading this book already know, recovering from trauma is fraught with difficulty. Missteps are easy to come by. Most self-help books offer only a single approach.
Likewise, trauma treatment programs and trauma therapists tend to favor just one method. So when you invest time and money in self-help books or therapy sessions, it is easy to feel obliged to stick with whatever you have chosen. When you are lucky, it will be something that suits you. However, when you are not, you could feel responsible for the failure: “What’s wrong with me that this didn’t work?” Frustration is the best outcome in such situations; a degraded degree of functioning is the worst.
However, there is another way to approach this dilemma, to make trauma recovery safer. I want to help put you in the driver’s seat, so to speak, of your own trauma recovery and to equip you with the controls you need to reach your goal safely, whether you are just beginning your healing or have been working at it for a while. When you take control, you might decide to use a little from this and a lot from that—whatever combination it is that you find works for you. Trauma makes you feel out of control. Taking charge of your own course of recovery will help you to reclaim control over yourself, your symptoms, and your life. These eight keys are a contribution toward that end.
Trauma recovery involves much more than remembering and processing the traumatizing incidents. In fact, for some of you, focusing on the past will not be necessary, or desirable. Trauma recovery must, first and foremost, improve your quality of life. Anything which furthers that goal is good for you; anything which compromises that goal is not. That may sound very simplistic, but in a way this principle is just that simple. Toward that goal, each of the eight keys is designed to:
These keys will make it possible for you to access your own common sense and the wisdom of your body and mind. Thus armed, you will be able to make informed judgments about what is and what is not good for you, what furthers your recovery and improves your quality of life versus what compromises them. You can use any or all of the eight keys alone or in conjunction with whichever additional self-help or professional recovery books or programs you pursue.
What Is Successful Recovery?
At this point you may be wondering what successful recovery from trauma looks like. I will sketch criteria here and expand on the points throughout the book and in the Afterword beginning on page 145. There are at least two ways to measure your success, both necessary aspects of your evaluation:
Book Structure
Eight Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery is organized with an eye to accessibility and ease of use. Each chapter covers one key and includes nine central elements:
Reader Assurance
To the best of my ability, I have eliminated material that has an obvious potential to distress readers. Discussion of types of trauma and examples of traumatized individuals are limited to brief, outline-type descriptions, eliminating the kinds of detail that many would find upsetting. It is my wish to demonstrate in these pages that trauma recovery does not need to be traumatic. That said, of course I cannot predict particular areas of sensitivity or triggers of individual readers. However, please know that if something herein provokes or upsets you, it was not intended for that purpose. You can read with confidence that each word and situation is carefully chosen and edited to optimize the highest level of information and interest, while minimizing potential reader discomfort.
Correspondence and Feedback
My contact information is included on the copyright page at the front of this book. I welcome your feedback, both positive and negative. At the same time, I may not be able to answer every e-mail or letter, although I will do my best to acknowledge your communication. Remember also that neither e-mail nor the postal service are perfect systems. Sometimes letters and messages go astray. So if you do not receive a reply from me, please do not take it as a rejection. Assume that either I did not receive your note, or for other reasons I was unable to respond. Also, please do not send long letters that include intimate details of personal history—someone else might be able to read what you wrote (the Internet is much more public than most people realize). If you would like a response, the more concise your communication, the better.
Disclaimer
It is now a tradition for me to add a disclaimer to all of my books as well as at the start of all my lectures and trainings.
The information discussed and interventions suggested in this book are all based on theory, hypothesis, and speculation. This is because everything in the trauma field is theory and speculation. There is nothing we know for sure, no hard facts. Actually, this is also the case for all of psychology and even much (if not most) of science and medicine. Beliefs change all the time as new information is discovered and digested. My own physician once reminded me that in medicine, “today’s gospel is tomorrow’s heresy.” We see evidence of that frequently, as treatments and medications are introduced and withdrawn. The same applies in trauma recovery. More importantly, it is not wise to assume that what works for one individual will work for another. The best trauma recovery program for you will be the one that is tailored to your individual needs.
In Denmark they say that when you get a new piece of information you should “chew on it,” at tygge på. If it does not taste good, you should spit it out immediately. However, if it tastes okay, then just swallow a little and see how it digests before swallowing the whole thing. I would never expect—or even want—a reader to swallow everything I write. I do not even believe that to be healthy. I hope that you will taste what is offered in these pages and absorb and use only that which digests comfortably and makes sense for you.
One of my favorite slogans is, “I get paid for my opinion, not to be right.” At the end of the day, or in this case, this book, all I—or, for that matter, any author or therapist—have to offer you are my opinions. Of course, considered, informed, professional opinions are important in evaluating your situation and planning and carrying out your recovery. But do not mistake opinions for facts. Just because an expert quotes research or other scientific evidence that strategy or intervention X, Y, and Z are the best, there is no guarantee that all (or even any) of them will suit or be right for you. You are ultimately the best expert about yourself. Adopt only those opinions that fit with what you know about yourself. That is the way for you to best ensure your safe recovery from trauma.